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Be strong & face the life. Because sometimes Life keeping nothing but only one option. Be strong anyway. - Bharat Zanvar

 

 

The black van pulls up right in front of the hospital’s emergency entrance. After dropping off the others, the van moves forward towards the parking lots area. Chanwoo enters the hospital with the other members including 2 of their managers; they are all wrapped up in perfect camouflage with face mask and some even wearing glasses to hide their identity. It would cause quite a big commotion if all of them are seen together as a group walking inside a hospital.   Chanwoo walks in front with Donghyuk by his side. His steps are rushed and his breath keeps hitching. Only God knows how fast his heart is beating. Donghyuk who is catching up beside him has his hand on the maknae’s sleeve, preventing him from running away and yet at the same time as an attempt to calm Chanwoo down, pulling him to the earth in case he loses himself in his panic state. As all of them enter the elevator, it’s silence meeting them.   As they have arrived at the said floor, Chanwoo rushes again right after the elevator’s door has opened. His action almost caused him to stumble upon a person at the front of the elevator. Jinhwan scolds him bellowing “be careful maknae!” but of course he doesn’t listen. Chanwoo walks towards the ICU room without paying any heeds to the members or anyone. His mind is only filled with Seunghee.   Why? He questions silently. Why would this happen? Why now? They are met with 2 people sitting on the waiting chair before the ICU room, the others guess they must be Seunghee’s parents. As Seunghee’s mother notices Chanwoo, she stands up with arms extend to the front. Chanwoo hastens his steps and he throws himself into Seunghee’s mother’s embrace. She lets out her tears making the others feel sorry too. As the boys greet the spouse pair, Mrs. Park takes Chanwoo’s hands and urges the others to take a seat.   “W—What happened?” His voice stutters, the bangs of his hair stick on his sweaty forehead from all the running just now. Chanwoo watches with tight chest when Mrs. Park begins to cry again. Both her eyes and her nose are bright red. Chanwoo can feel the back of his eyes sting to let out a tear. He endures it by squeezing the lady’s hands tightly in his.   Seunghee’s mother and father look over at him. Both of them look extremely agitated and sad. “She had a seizure just now.” Chanwoo’s heart drops at that. “T—They tried their best but, Seunghee’s condition is becoming worst. She couldn’t even talk just now.” The mother cries, Seunghee’s father has his head drop. Chanwoo can hear few gasps coming from s, but he couldn’t find his strength to turn his back although the hands patting his shoulders reassuringly deem for him to rely his head on them, his sadness. He could guess they belonged to either Jinhwan or Bobby.   “But I met her few days ago. She was fine! S—she just couldn’t move her legs a bit and…” Chanwoo spats in urgency, wanting to prove—no, wanting proof of the girl’s health which he has always been praying for her goodness. But his words are cut off by Mrs. Park.   “Chanwoo-ah, I’m so sorry, son….” She mutters, Chanwoo has his cheek caressed by her hand. It’s so cold, as cold as death. “But you have to know….” She pauses to take a deep breath. She sniffs and wipes her tears only for more to drop. The way she looks at Chanwoo somehow scares the latter. “Ever since the first time you met my daughter, even before that, she’s already dying.”   How Chanwoo wishes he would never hear that.       “You’ll be discharged by tomorrow. Isn’t that good?” Chanwoo showed his smile to the doctor, the one in charge of his. Although it sounded foolish, somehow he felt like he would miss him. He was kind and very encouraging including all the other staff that took a good care of him. Departing would be a bit sad though he couldn’t wait to leave soon.   “Alright, I will come and see you again tomorrow morning before you leave. Take a very good rest tonight, okay Chanwoo-goon?” As said, he was about to leave but Chanwoo stopped him. The man in white coat turned his back, confused and anticipated.   “Ummm…” He wanted to slap himself. Why would he hesitate now? He made up his mind to ask anyway. “Can I ask you something?” Chanwoo started, the doctor nodded his head though the puzzlement on his face was clearly shown. “Do you know one patient here named Park Seunghee?”   “Ah, Seunghee-shii.” The doctor’s face lit up in acknowledgement, his voice a pitch higher. “Yes, of course. In fact, she’s my patient. How do you know her?” the man’s question is paid no heed by Chanwoo as he asked more, “Can I ask why she’s here? I mean, what is her condition?” He asked the doctor, only for his question to be met with a small chuckle, Chanwoo took it as bafflement. The doctor did look baffle.   “Oh I’ve just remembered that you made friends with her few days ago. Well, the truth is her disease isn’t that bad. But she needs to be watched over frequently. That’s why she is hospitalized.” The doctor said. “But she has just had her surgery recently so her condition isn’t that good. But that girl is so strong. She has endured a lot.” Chanwoo watched intently the man before him. His face showed an emotion that he couldn’t put a finger to when he said those words. It bothered Chanwoo greatly.   Like he was somewhat…. Crying?   Then the doctor’s words sunk to his head. ‘She has just had her surgery recently’.   Surgery …….   A thought lightened up in his mind. He didn’t even paid attention when the man left.   “Could it be she’s the one giving her kidney to me?”           He enters alone while the others wait outside. The room is so cold, too many machines and other equipment he hates to see. Especially the one attached to Seunghee’s chest and mouth. The only machine that’s keeping her alive for now.   “We’ll wait here okay? Come out when you’ve done.” It’s his Yunhyeong hyung talking to him with unusual soft voice. Almost like he has been crying along with Chanwoo earlier.   “Take care, okay?” For an unknown reason, Jinhwan is crying too. His eyes are red and cheeks flushed from the outburst he has earlier. It’s on par with Chanwoo’s. Seriously, he feels really bad for the mat hyung but at the same time grateful for Jinhwan’s sympathy for the girl he is currently staring at, sleeping like she doesn’t want to wake up. As Chanwoo remembers, even Donghyuk cries too.   The occasional pats from Bobby, reassuring words and hugs from Yunhyeong as Chanwoo bursts out in his embrace. Even June mutters out “I’m sorry about Seunghee, Chanwoo-ah” and Hanbin when Chanwoo has yet to keep breakdown in tears pulls the maknae into his embrace, so tight that Chanwoo thoughts he could break even worse than his heart. The whispers from the older echo in his head until now, “It’s okay, she’s going to be okay. Don’t worry.”   His reverie is broken when his mind pulls him back to reality. Chanwoo can’t bear himself to see Seunghee like this. Her skin has gotten much pale than the usual and he takes notice of few bruises on her legs and arms. She keeps falling down. She is having difficulty in walking now. With no warning, another tears wash out his flushed cheeks. He cries again.     I’m looking at her, getting farther away     Seunghee’s hand feels so cold in his. Much colder than her mother outside. Her eyelids are closed shut with no gap of opening at all. Chanwoo wonders if she is still here with him or not. He’s being careful touching her, not wanting to disturb the IV drips now the weird white pad things stuck on her head.   Multiple sclerosis. A type of neurological diseases that causes a structure of nerve cell in the body; the myelin sheath to be damaged. It causes several body system’s malfunction including physical, physiological and cognitive problems. That would explain w