00.16

Jimin has always woke up five minutes before the alarm. Still half asleep, he reached for the night stand to turn off the alarm before it rang, since he was already awake, there was no need for the trill to break the morning calm.

Plus, he didn’t want to wake Jungkook up.

As soon as he opened his eyes he was aware of the fact that he was not alone in his bed, but that he indeed had someone curled up at his side. Jungkook was sleeping, breathing softly and nestled on his side. Jimin rolled over and went to his hair tenderly. After a short while, he felt the younger push on his hand, as his cat did when he wanted to cuddle.

Jimin had always known that there was this side of Jungkook covered by the armor he wore to fight against the rest of the world every day, but it was still fascinating to watch the scene live.

"Five more minutes," murmured Jungkook without opening his eyes. Jimin felt guilty for waking him up but judging from the clear voice perhaps Jungkook had been awake for a while.

"You can stay in bed if you want. I have to get ready for work though,” Jimin said gently his hair.

Jungkook slowly opened his eyes trying to get used to the light streaming from the blinds.

He seemed hesitant, and all the security he had showed the night before seemed gone, replaced by uncertainty.

Jimin bit his lip. He knew it was coming, and yet it didn’t make easier to accept. But after all, who was Jimin to replace point-blank what had been and was still the reason for living of Jungkook?

However, the latter didn’t look away, and he seemed to be on the point of wanting to ask something. Jimin seemed to understand and decided to go on instinct, and when he felt the fingers of Jungkook tighten on his shirt once he pushed their bodies close to each other, he knew he had made the right choice. Jungkook apparently loved hugs, and Jimin shared the sentiment, they gave a sense of security and belonging, a concept alien to most of the zeroes and therefore irresistible.

Jimin wanted to remain locked together at least for a while, but the time passed and he was really going to be late if he didn’t stand up. However when he looked down to Jungkook, to ask him to move, he realized that he had gone back to sleep, his face relaxed and his breathing deep.
Jimin tried to untangle from the embrace as gently as possible, standing up and being careful to give his back to the bed, not to watch.

Because some beautiful things hurt too much.

Jimin made his morning ritual almost mechanically his mind too full of questions and thoughts.
He let the cold water wake him. As he watched the streams of water tracing his skin, he wondered once again, and not for the first time since Namjoon had told him his story, his and Jinni’s, how his best friend had managed to bear the weight of a truth so bulky as to know that the happiness of the other person, didn’t necessarily include yourself in the picture.

How much strength, how much love, it had taken for Seokjin to act as he did. But it had worked. Eventually he and Namjoon had had their happy ending. He looked at the phone that he had left on the shelf of the cabinet in the bathroom. He wanted to know more given how similar their situations were, but he had promised himself that he would wait for his best friend to tell him.

Jimin just wanted to do the right thing, he didn’t want, in fact, to be another Min Yoongi.

He didn’t want his love to become something that dragged the younger down rather than elevate him. He knew too well what it felt like to be on the other side of the equation and Jungkook should never have to experience what he had lived.

Jimin was seized with an unpleasant feeling.

At the time, he suffered the consequences of a love that turned into something ugly, into despair and selfishness, not only of Yoongi but also of himself. Jimin knew his motives and thought to know those of Yoongi. Now, in light of his situation, he was not sure anymore. It did not change the solution to the problem, their story would have met the same end because it didn’t change the fact that Yoongi had a soulmate, but it could have made a difference for Jimin.

Perhaps he could have avoided the worst to both, if he had just asked.

He could almost hear the voice of Seokjin reproaching him for having those thoughts. Jimin shook his head.

He finished getting ready and before he knew it, the clock showed the time to go. He paused on the threshold of his room. Jungkook was fast asleep, his nose plunged into his pillow, his hands clutching the sheets.

They were friends, he had promised to be such and Jimin would meet him shortly for dance rehearsals and dinner at Hoseok and Taehyung’s home. Jungkook was in his house at the moment, they shared a bed. Yet that evening, once he returned home, Jungkook wouldn’t be there and his house would seem again lonely and empty and Jimin was not sure he could bear with it, not after he had a foretaste of what could be.

He clenched his fists.

He wanted to cover the distance, take Jungkook again in his arms and cover him with kisses on his forehead, his nose, chin and on his lips that he could not forget even if he tried, and to know, to know, to have him for all the days to come.

But that was not how it worked their reality. Jimin had to surrender to the fact that it was already tomorrow.

He rushed out of his house.

The feeling of having someone so close was something Jungkook had missed a lot. Maybe he never really felt it. And more than having his arms full of Jimin, more than having his fingers in his hair, it was the knowledge that he wasn’t running to who knows where, alone. Jimin was with him. At least for this space and time.

Jungkook narrowed his eyes, trying to remember how it was to feel Jimin on his body, his hands running down his skin, his lips on his own.

But eventually he had to open his eyes.

The external light filtered overwhelmingly through the shutters, slightly illuminating the room and the bed empty. He had slept longer than what he originally planned, but it seemed that Jimin had this calming effect on him and like that first time he had stayed to sleep over. This time, he had also slept soundly.

His mind returned again to the events of the day before. They had managed to break away long enough to dine and for Jungkook to shower and change. After that, they weren’t able to stay away from the other. Resuming the kissing had seemed a million times more important.

Jungkook rolled on his back, welcoming the cat that had jumped on the bedspread and went up on his stomach looking for pampering. Jungkook gave him a scratch on the ears absently.

It would all be so damn easy. He could go to class, eat lunch with Taehyung, and then go to Jimin’s work and go home together. Or he could stay, get Taehyung to bring his books to study and be there when Jimin got back—to see his smile.

It wasn’t easy though. His fears didn’t disappear and would not vanished in the space of twenty-four hours. His life for years had turned maniacally around one thought, and it had been the project for his future that gave him a reason to get up in the morning.

He could have had both, he could live a full life and have Jimin, he said to himself. However it was still difficult for him to reconcile the two worlds.

Jimin would accept him wanting to continue to cultivate his way, would he ever agree to never formalize their bond? This level of freedom required a lot of fate and they didn’t know each other well enough but more than anything he didn’t want to condemn him to a life of misery at his side. Maybe somewhere out there, there was someone who would be happy to lead a life as a couple, with Jimin. To marry, achieve their purpose in the eyes of society and appear happy and normal. Be that kind of zero numbers, Jungkook had learned to despise.

Perhaps Jungkook was just wasting the older’s time, yet he could not let go. In some way Jimin had carved out a place in his thoughts, in his life, and Jungkook found himself for the first time to want to do something for someone, to try to push his limits, to want to give the best of himself.

For Jimin.

Jungkook didn’t think he knew what love was, but he could see himself doing that. Trying to take care of him, even though as a friend.

He could not deny, however, that having listened to the songs of the mixtape of Min Yoongi made the difference. He wondered if Jimin had ever bothered to listen to it because really, every word of every song seemed to shout out all the love and all the despair for something he hadn’t been able to make work. Jungkook didn’t want to live with that regret, with the knowledge that he had destroyed such a thing. Honestly, he was happy to not be in the composer's head.

Of course, he still despised his actions. If Min Yoongi had continued to behave as he did in high school he had little to brag about and much to be ashamed of. However there was no denying the bad luck of their circumstances.

He didn’t want to make the same mistake. He owed honesty not only to himself, but also to Jimin. It was the only way to save them both. And perhaps time would help him clear his head.

Friendship was fine. After all, it was the thing in which Jungkook didn’t totally. It was the only safe way of love, he knew. He might as well start from there.

You are so dumb Jeon Jungkook, said a voice in his head that sounded too much like Taehyung.

Maybe it was true even though Jungkook still didn’t understand what was making him seem stupid. In any case, he decided it wasn’t time to over think things any further.

Taehyung had done nothing but writhe his hands for fifteen minutes, after which his soulmate had had enough and in a few steps had come to him and embraced him strongly.

"What worries you? Tell me everything,” whispered Hoseok on his shoulder. Taehyung relaxed instantly. Ah, Hoseok could read him like no other and the thought of having this forever made him drunk.

"I'm worried. Maybe I should postpone the dinner. It will be a disaster, Kookie and Jimin aren’t going to be able to look into each other’s eyes, and we will have the pity task to fill the awkward silences,” Taehyung answered, putting his hands over Hoseok’s, tightening his grip.

"Jungkook, hm?” Hoseok sighed softly on his shoulder. Taehyung collapsed on himself.

"Taehyung don’t worry. Have a little faith in those two. Jimin seems to genuinely like Jungkook. As for the latter, the mere fact that he let Jimin in says so much already.”

"I'm a fool to worry, I know,” Taehyung chided himself.

"You're not. It means you are a good friend, there is nothing wrong with that. People we love make us worry.”

"He’s a part of me Hoseok. Since that time I got into that closet, Jungkook has become a part of me ,and I live for the time I finally see him happy.”

Hoseok was silent for a long time, but didn’t release his hold on Taehyung. Taehyung was grateful. Now and then he wondered if he had done nothing but hurt his soulmate whenever he talked about Jungkook in these terms. His devotion to someone who was not his soulmate, he knew it wasn’t normal. He could not change what he felt and to hide it from Hoseok would hurt his soulmate and their bond more.

"I know. But even though for an unfortunate case things don’t work out, I feel like they will though, I'll help you to help him. Until we'd all be happy,” concluded his soulmate.

"No one’s ever loved anyone like I love you, Hoseok." Taehyung said, turning to face and hug his number one properly. Hoseok dazzled him with one of his smiles. "I think I know someone actually,” he said humorously before closing the distance between them.

Taehyung loved Hoseok with every fibre of his being. Meeting him was the best thing in his life. He felt the hand of his number one slid down his back to a stop at his lower back, making their hips collide. Taehyung let out a moan as encircled his neck with his arms.

Mine. Mine. Mine. Forever.

Before it could get any hotter—as would surely happen if Hoseok continued to kiss him like that (and if it didn’t remove his hand from under his shirt)—the doorbell rang.

Both broke away reluctantly.

Hoseok had the expression of someone who had just been kicked. Taehyung laughed.

"Later I’ll let you do anything you want to me. Promised,” Taehyung said, giving him one last kiss and heading toward the door, giggling.

"Oh hello! You’re the first to arrive,” Taehyung said as soon as he saw that it was Seokjin and Namjoon.

"Excuse me," murmured the pair as they took off their shoes at the door.

"Come in, come in, welcome to our house," said Hoseok, patting Namjoon on the back and leading them to the living room.
"Jungkook and Jimin should be on their way. Jimin texted me before he was going to take Jungkook. It shouldn’t be long,” said Seokjin as soon as he sat down.

"I didn’t know! But perfect! Perfect!” exclaimed an enthusiastic Taehyung, smiling in the direction of his soulmate.

Jungkook, the bastard, had forgotten to tell him this particular. But if it was so, then maybe there was hope after all.

Seokjin gave him a warm smile as if he had read his mind.

So perhaps it was not the only person who cared about the situation of those two. Taehyung cocked his head. He didn't have the opportunity to chat with Seokjin the last time, the work of Namjoon as famous composer had monopolized the conversation, but he felt a kind and protective air coming from Seokjin and he wondered if they shared the exact same feelings in regards of their best friends.

"Seokjin hyung, how are you? The last time we couldn’t talk a lot, unfortunately, when it comes to music I lose my head and I can barely talk about anything else. Tell me a little about you!”

"Don’t worry, I know what it means to lose your head to music," Seokjin said, glancing at his number one that seemed engaged in an earnest conversation with Hoseok on alternative methods to caffeine to stay awake. "But I’m good, I finally finished a pretty heavy project. As you heard from our first meeting, I am a freelance photographer. Although, in my spare time I like to take care of the centre,” Seokjin replied.

"Jungkook told me about it. The fool did nothing but talk about a blond receptionist who intimidated him to death. I guess he was talking about you,” Taehyung commented loudly, just to realize that his words might sound offensive. "Not that you did something to intimidate him, it's just Jungkook, who is a wimp!" Taehyung explained, carefully.

Seokjin seemed to find this funny.

"I might have looked at him more severely than usual, so he wasn’t so wrong in saying that. In my defense, I can only say I am too protective as Jimin often complains.”

"I understand the sentiment. And believe me, you did very well. Don’t think for a moment that I have not given a scolding to Jungkook! It’s just that Jungkook is used to be so guarded, so please forgive his behavior. He doesn’t do it with malice. He is just a little slow to warm up,” Taehyung concluded.

"It’s been a while since I realized Jungkook is a good kid, and I regret a little to have been so intolerant in the beginning, so don’t worry. Jimin is a dear friend and because of past experiences, I became more distrustful too,” Seokjin said, sheepishly.

Taehyung nodded. He knew perfectly well what Seokjin alluded.

"I hope that everything goes in the best way,” Taehyung let out with a sigh.

"I hope so too," said the blond, and there was a vibrant note in his voice. Taehyung wanted to shake his hand. Perhaps he had finally found a number two who understood him.

To be a number two who held a number zero so dearly was not something easily understood in the eyes of most people, even his parents had been confused when he had tried to tell his thoughts on Jungkook. Taehyung could understand that he and Jungkook had different fates. It was sad to know that his best friend had it harder, but Taehyung was the kind of person who believed that just because a road was arduous, it doesn’t mean it cannot lead you to your goal.

It was shocking to see how this difference instead represented a pattern of discrimination for another. Taehyung would never be able to understand it. However, unfortunately, over the years he had found many stupid people that were genuinely convinced that having a soul mate would make them better, and so he started to avoid making friendship with those. He didn’t need someone in his life who disrespected his best friend.

He felt so aded by a happy warmth when he realized that, as he had always hoped, there were others who thought alike.

"I think we'll be great friends Seokjin hyung,” Taehyung said, flashing his toothy grin. The face of the older brightened.

Before he could respond, however, the bell rang again.

Taehyung apologized before rushing to the door to let in the newcomers.

When he opened the door he found himself in front of Jungkook and Jimin. They seemed exhausted from work, but no less relaxed or unhappy. Indeed, it was a pleasant vibe that came from them. Their shoulders touched and both flashed him a sincere smile.

Taehyung let them in, but not before hugging both of them. Jungkook didn’t have the time to tell him everything and so the fantasy of Taehyung unleashed to paint a pessimistic scenario.

Dinner was full of noise and laughter.

Hoseok decided to tell some anecdotes during their school years with Jimin and Taehyung returned the favor by talking of his and Jungkook adventures, including the time they had managed to destroy the toilets reserved to the teachers, resulting in an escaped through the different floors of the school.

Jungkook said he didn’t remember anything or he didn’t want to remember anything while the others laughed. Jimin was bent in half in his chair, laughing and patting Jungkook’s. The latter acted offended, but his smile said otherwise.

Taehyung watched them in fascination. They seemed so gentle with one another, so comfortable, it was no different from the air that had always surrounded Jungkook and himself.

Throughout the night, even when they had cleared and they were seated in various points of the living room to chat and to play Mario kart, Jungkook and Jimin had seemed hypnotized by each other. They moved in sync, as if they couldn’t help but gravitate towards their respective orbits. They were sitting on opposite sides of the couch yet every time Jungkook looked towards Jimin, he could be sure to catch the eye of the older.

Wow, Taehyung thought.

Seokjin and Jimin, at a certain point, excused themselves to go to the bathroom and Taehyung thought it was an excuse to exchange a few words in private strategically and so he went into the kitchen, where it was easier to eavesdrop on the conversation.

“Jiminie, I'm so glad to see that things are better,” Seokjin said, relieved.

“Hyung, yesterday it was hard, but Jungkook has done nothing for which you should scold him.”

"I know. I know he has never lied to you. I know how important this is for you,” Seokjin answered but then added, “But I also know that you seem a lot more sure about your feelings than him.”

“Maybe."

“Jimin.”

"Even so there nothing wrong with that. We cannot force people to feel more then what they feel. But I know he cares about me, enough to take the time to reconsider his views. And for that, I'm grateful.”

"He reminds me so much of Namjoon,” Seokjin let out a sigh. He seemed to stop for a moment almost unable to continue. Taehyung wondered what he meant, because his sentence seemed to hide so much more.

"Hyung, really, stop worrying for me. Every thing Jungkook promised, he did. When he said that friendship was the only thing that he felt able to give me for the time being, it was tough. But he was right. I think for him, friendship means a lot. I think it’s the only way he knows how to approach someone and be himself. I feel like he has just given me the most precious thing he knows and I think I got it only now. I thought he was afraid to trust his feelings and yet it’s not like that. He is so nice now, so sweet, so relaxed, like he can finally show his true self and what I see is so beautiful. To the point that even though all our days to come would be like that, it would still be fine for me. Because he is happy. He is happy. I just want that.”

"Oh Jimin,” replied Seokjin in a whisper.

Taehyung was unable to feel anything, but at some point, one of them had really gone to the toilet. He found himself standing in the middle of the room.

Jeon Jungkook, you're an idiot.

But he was happy. Indeed he had never been so euphoric before.

Taehyung wondered if those two were aware of what they were actually doing. If Jungkook realized how much his behavior—him being always sincere with Jimin not because he didn't care, but because he wanted to protect him at all costs from his person and the emotional problems he dragged—told about the extent of his feelings for the older.

If Jungkook even knew how much it meant to actually having granted all that space to Jimin. If he knew that he had used the word friendship to label it all because it was the only name that he had learned to use when it came to affection.

If he realized how everything screamed love in every single detail.

Author's note: gah this friday I have an exam. I have another on the next Friday and then the VIXX concert so I tried so hard to update (exhausted).