00.12
 

"So what do you think?"

Jimin had waited until the end of the lesson before approaching Jungkook timidly and inviting him and his friends to dinner.

Almost a week had passed since Jungkook had stayed to sleep at his house. Jimin wondered for a moment if it would have been better to wait for more time to pass, so that the initial shock could cool down, before approaching Jungkook so openly. At the same time, he was afraid to let too much time pass.
It had been nice to have Jungkook so sweet and close, and Jimin didn’t want for that night to remain an exception for something destined to vanish. In addition, he needed to explain himself, in between the turmoil he hadn’t found the opportunity to talk to Jungkook, and after that, they were both finally reached by the embarrassment which didn’t allow them to regain the usual familiarity.

Of course, they had never been too familiar, but they made some progress and Jimin didn’t want to go back to the initial state of their relationship.

Jungkook looked at him from under the towel he had on his head to wipe the sweat. He looked like he was evaluating the question and just when Jimin was preparing himself for a no, Jungkook said.

"All right. When?"

Jimin was dumbfounded for a moment before he lightened up again.

"Oh. This Saturday, since Sunday is rest day for everyone."

"I finish my shift at 7 pm," replied Jungkook. Jimin nodded, vaguely remembering that Jungkook had said something about working in a part-time shoe store.

"It's fine. At 8 pm then!”Jimin said enthusiastically.

"You want me to tell Hoseok?"

"I’ll do it, don’t worry." It was Jungkook’s turn to nod, before taking the towel to get up and throw it in his bag. He looked for a moment as if he wanted to add something. Since that fateful afternoon with Jungkook’s parents they no longer had dinner together after class, even once. Jimin hoped that a dinner with other people could miraculously soften the atmosphere between them. Sometimes he expected to see Jungkook run like he was followed by devil, then he remembered how resolute the number zero was. No, Jungkook was not the type who would interrupt his activities only because he did not like a person. Jimin hoped it actually meant that Jungkook didn’t hate him at all.

He had stayed, he had slept on you. Told himself Jimin, yet he was afraid of having misunderstood the state of things. Jungkook found himself in a situation of extreme emotional fragility. Perhaps he was clingy with him only because he was there at the right moment.

"But I warn you, Taehyung has a stomach that is bottomless," Jungkook said before closing the zipper of his bag with a snap and put on his shoulder.

Jimin smiled. It was the first attempt of joke in a week.

"It means that we will see a competition between him and Seokjin hyung!" Jimin said. Jungkook muffled a laugh, then with a nod he left the room.

Jimin sighed.

He had to know. He had to know if that night had been real or a dream destined to disappear when the morning came.

Jimin had managed to convince Seokjin to help him cook. It had taken very little effort, in fact it was enough to leave some praise here and there about the magnificence of Seokjin inside a kitchen and in no time his best friend had occupied his kitchen with ingredients and flavors while Jimin helped him with more simple task, such as cutting the vegetables and make sure that the roast didn’t burn.

"Do you really want to impress him so much?" Seokjin said as he checked the sauce from the kitchenette.

"I caused a mess hyung. This is the least I can do. Besides, I have to thank Hobi for healing me completely." Jimin said while washing the kitchen stuff in the sink.

"I cannot wait to know this Hoseok. You used talk about him like he was some sort of a dance God or something."

"Well he was. Now he is a soon to be a doctor.”

With all the problems of the last days, Jimin had completely forgotten to solve this little mystery about the new career of Hoseok. He hadn’t lied to Seokjin, he really wanted to do something to make it up to Jungkook but he also wanted to take the opportunity to spend time with his new and old friends.

"There’s something bugging you, it’s written on your face."

"It 's just that it seems odd, hyung. We shared the dream of becoming professional dancers and even though on my part this ambition was stupid, because let's be real as a number zero I had a chance in a billion, Hoseok is a number two. There would be no problems.”

"We number twos make choices too. We encounter difficulties. He probably had a good reason,” Seokjin said as he tasted the sauce from the ladle.
Jimin looked at him. He didn’t tell Seokjin that Namjoon had told him everything. It was the first time Jimin omitted to say something to his best friend but honestly even if he wanted, he did not know how to introduce the topic.

Moreover a part of him, though small but existing, was slightly offended that Seokjin had never confided in him during all those years. Seokjin had nothing to be ashamed of, after all, didn’t he witness all the most painful moments of Jimin’s life.

"Don’t be angry with him, Jimin. Jinnie doesn’t mention it because he is afraid of doing injustice to me. I think a part of him still thinks like he had deprived me of something when he gave me everything,"Namjoon had said, shaking his head. Jimin had watched him, as he was looking Seokjin now and despite his slight irritation he was invaded by a strange feeling.

Loving someone like that, like Seokjin and Namjoon loved each other, was it possible?

"Yes I know. It’s a pity, that's all,”Jimin said shrugging.

"The important thing is to find your own path" Seokjin concluded, smiling and throwing the spoon in the sink along with dirty cutlery Jimin was washing.

"Maybe you're right," replied Jimin distractedly as he checked the time on his wristwatch.

He hoped they could talk about it one day, because Seokjin was his best friend and Jimin hated having secrets with him.

 

When Jimin had come all doubtful to invite him to dinner, Jungkook wasn’t able to say no, even if the idea of bringing together their group of friends promised to be a headache of giant dimensions. Despite Jungkook being a person who was bad at feelings ("it’s called holding grudges, Kookie", "Shut up Taehyung"), he also wasn’t a big fan of how it was the current situation.

It was tense, rather unbearable. On one side he was against everything that had happened that day with his parents on the other hand how to forget that night? He had felt things Jungkook didn’t even know he was able to feel.

"Be honest, you are impatient to work things out," came the deep voice of Taehyung.

"Taehyung. What is that you don’t understand of the word 'space'? I'm trying to take have a solitude moment here before being tossed in a dinner of which I can’t see, to see the end," Jungkook said in exasperation.

"Kookie, you're in my car. And you've taken advantage of our house as if it were your own for years. There is no such word as 'space' between us. Besides, I'm right,” said Taehyung smugly from the passenger seat.
Jungkook rolled his eyes as Hoseok laughed rather loudly from his seat behind the wheel. He hated when they acted together to make his life miserable.
He was bitterly regretting to have told them what happened that night, in fact, now he had to hope Taehyung didn’t come out with one of his comments. He always had the perfect timing to be embarrassing.

Once in the house it wasn’t Jimin who opened the door, but Namjoon in all his glorious height and green hair.

"Hello Jungkook! And you have to be his friends! Nice to meet you, I’m Namjoon."

"Taehyung, my pleasure. I love your hair,” said Taehyung as he entered, marching in Jimin’s apartment as if he was a regular guest.

"I'm Hoseok. Don’t mind my number one! Taehyung says strange things, he is still adorable though," Hoseok said.

"Um, okay. Jimin and Seokjin are in the kitchen cooking.”Namjoon didn’t even have time to finish the sentence that Jimin appeared in the living room.

"Hi, here I am. Dinner should be ready in half an hour, in the meantime, make yourself comfortable, I brought the wine."

"Great!" Taehyung screamed as Hoseok asked if they needed a hand in the kitchen and without even waiting for the reply of Jimin, he went into the other room. Jimin the radio and made all sit at the table while serving the wine.

"Jungkook, how are you? I guess you are very hungry after work,”Jimin tried to introduce the talk timidly.

"Indeed," replied Jungkook trying very careful to not choke. He felt strangely nervous.

"Hi!" interrupted Seokjin making his entry into the living room arranged as a dining room.

"Ah vogue model!”

"...Vogue model?"

"Well that time we met some girls behind me were calling you like that," said Taehyung smiling. Jimin burst out laughing.

Jungkook intensively wondered if it was possible to bury himself under the carpet.

Kim Seokjin had probably been a chef in some French restaurant at some time in his young life because Jungkook didn’t remember having ever eaten so much and so well. He had also discovered that to earn points was enough to praise the blonde.

Taehyung was, if possible, even more pleased than him, even though at the moment he was absorbed in a conversation with Namjoon after they discovered their careers.

"Jungkook you never told me you’d met Rapmonster, the author of half of the songs on my ipod," exclaimed Taehyung as soon as he discovered that Namjoon was a famous composer and producer.

Jungkook shrugged. He danced to the songs, he didn’t know about composing.

"As if you aren’t known in the industry Taehyung," Namjoon replied with a smile.

The comment seemed to heighten the curiosity of Seokjin and Jimin.

"Hey you have a famous friend and you didn’t tell me?" exclaimed Jimin towards Jungkook. Jungkook looked at him as if to say, "I could say the same thing." In his chair Hoseok was glowing with pride.

"I am no one. I just composed a little something the first year at the academy."

"Kim Taehyung young prodigy and lonely composer," Taehyung shrugged as if Namjoon had just said he was the regional champion of marbles. Although in that case, thought Jungkook, he would have bragged at every step so maybe it wasn’t the best example.

Taehyung liked music and that was it, everything else was superfluous.

"Do you remember the story of that young student who had won a competition with a composition that masterfully became the new titanic love theme of the last five years?" asked Namjoon, facing Jimin and Seokjin who nodded, "that guy is Taehyung. Half of the music record companies in the country have offered him a contract but he refused. So he became one of the legendary stories known in our circles.”

"I took part in that contest only under the insistence of my violin teacher. I participated only in the hope of making some money for me and Hoseokkie, and so it was. I didn’t expect for them to propose me a calendar of concerts or for the song to be so famous. I love musical instruments not the rest," Taehyung said as if they were discussing the weather.

"Taehyung played the violin since he was six years old, the saxophone since he was 10 and the piano since he was 18. He is finishing the advanced piano course in order to teach and if I remember correctly, the other day he told me he wanted to try playing drums," intervened Hoseok.

"Any other person would have used this talent to make concerts and be on television," said casually Namjoon.

"I'd rather stay at home with my soulmate," Taehyung said and Jungkook knew that he was probably holding hands with Hoseok under the table.

"Well. I can understand the sentiment," Namjoon concluded, glancing toward Seokjin. Jungkook squirmed in his chair because he had just got stuck in a moment between number twos. The only thing that consoled him was that Jimin looked uncomfortable as he was.

“That said, don’t make me more important than I am. I’m not the one who is in the same agency of Gloss. You know the other half of the songs on my ipod are his!”exclaimed Taehyung.

Namjoon chuckled slightly but from the frozen attitude of Seokjin and from how Jimin had looked elsewhere, Jungkook guessed there was something wrong in that name.

"I dare to say that I am better," tried to joke Namjoon.

"Obviously," said Seokjin taking his hand and trying to make it look like a joke.

Taehyung and Hoseok laughed although Jungkook had the impression the Seokjin was being serious. Jimin meanwhile got up from his chair and began to clear the table. Jungkook found it strange once again.
They didn’t have a chance to speak but Jimin had seemed relaxed and happy during the entire dinner and it made him feel at ease in turn.
Jungkook made a mental note to investigate this Gloss later since it looked like neither Jimin nor Seokjin liked the subject and so he stood up and went to help out in the kitchen.

"Hyung are you all right?" asked as he put the dirty dishes on the stove.

"Sure," said Jimin although he did not seem quite right. He then proceed in he slipping the dishes inside the dishwasher neatly. Maybe that was the right time to talk. But no. The others were a few meters away in the other room.

"Everything okay here?" Asked Seokjin, entering in the kitchen with the rest of the dishes.

“Hyung, could you end up clearing here and take the dessert? I would like to go check if Tao is fine since I left him sleeping in my room two hours ago," the blonde nodded and Jungkook remained frozen as he observed Jimin walking away down the hall. He sighed slightly but when he tore his gaze from Jimin’s back, he saw that Seokjin was watching him. He had his head cocked as if he was saying “go".

Jungkook moved before the blonde decided to actually say it. Suddenly he found himself wiping his sweaty hands on his pants. The bedroom door was half open and Jimin was sitting on the bed while petting behind the ear a sleepy Tao.

"Hyung," started Jungkook then cleared his throat. Jimin fixed his big black eyes on him and Jungkook for a moment didn’t know what to say. He stood still on the threshold uncertain about what to do.
Jimin then looked down at the floor then to the cat. Finally he took a deep breath and looked back to Jungkook.

"Jungkook I’m sorry," Jungkook felt like weight he didn’t know he had was lifted from his shoulders. "I feel like I didn’t apologize enough, I feel like I didn’t apologize at all, not like I should be. I'm really sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you even though I know that my actions may give another impression. "
Jungkook shook his head and again as if his body knew the answer even before his brain registered to, he closed the distance in few steps and sat down alongside Jimin, so close that their elbows were touching.

Jungkook dropped his weight on the mattress but to say what he had, he decided it was better to look right in front.

"I...I don’t like what you did. I was very angry with you. But I like to think that you have not wanted to hurt me, I like to think that you sincerely tried to do your best. I'm not good at managing my emotions, I’ve never been and I promised you to understand and I didn’t. It was easier to be angry with you hyung than admit it’s actually difficult for the both of us, not only for me.”

"Believe me Jungkook for your age you're behaving so well.”

"Hey you're not so old."

"I hope!" Jimin said half smiling. "Just that when I was 23, I used to be a walking disaster. I admire you. I wasn’t just saying that time with your parents.”

Jungkook looked at Jimin with the corner of his eyes. He remembered Jimin in high school, but this Jimin was different from the one of his memories. He wondered for the first time what had happened to him after he finished high school, what experiences he went through to be the sweet person he was now. Not that he wasn’t before, Jungkook remembered very well how fascinated he was by a Jimin on the dance floor. We have all suffered. It may be that I have always misjudged him without knowing the circumstances. And , thought Jungkook, circumstances matter a lot. Look at us now.

"Can you tell me one thing though? Don’t be offended I am just trying to understand..."

"Of course, feel free to ask me.”

"What makes you think you're right? What have you discovered so important that you proposed such an agreement?” He asked, turning to look at Jimin in the face. The latter seemed lost in his thoughts as if he was trying to formulate his reply correctly.

"Do you think Taehyung and Hoseok will vote yes?"

"Of course not," Jungkook replied without even having to think.

"Not even your parents, my parents, neither Namjoon and Seokjin."

"Yeah well I'm pretty sure we are a minority, hyung.”

"You don’t know. In the past a lot of referendum were submitted and the majority didn’t even reach the quorum."

"Are you saying that your proposal is just an act of faith?"

"Would it be that wrong?"

"Didn’t you say that Namjoon had said something to you?"

"Yes but it has only cemented my belief."

"Then what did he tell you?" Jungkook felt like that information was vital.

"I can’t tell you. It's not my story to tell, I'm sorry.”

Jungkook looked halfway between stunned and in disbelief, but he saw the determination in Jimin’s eyes.

"I don’t know what to say."

"I’m sorry, I don’t have a better reason, one that makes sense at least."

Jungkook shook his head. "It means that we are in the hands of fate. Are you aware of the fact that fate had never been our side, right?"

"I am aware of the fact that maybe we are not the only ones who want this proposal to not pass," Jimin said. "I have been thinking, a lot. And what I saw, the stories of the others, perhaps, it exists in another perspective of the reality.”Jungkook frowned.The last thing Jimin told him didn’t make any sense. Number zeros were alone. While number twos were living their happy ending. How could these opposite destinies be reconciled?

"One last thing...will you try to change my mind? Because I won’t , I’m letting you know,”he asked. He had tobecause upon this answer, Jungkook was going to evaluate a lot of things. Jimin and him had different points of view. He wanted to understand how Jimin was going to keep his promises to Jungkook while not being influenced by his desires.

"No. For you is important. Enough to go against your family, enough to make it your goal in life.”

"Are you asking me to trust you, Jimin?" Jungkook asked with a trembling voice locking his eyes with the ones of the older.

"Yes," Jimin said closing his as if he was afraid even to ask the question.

They barely knew each other then again it felt like it had been a lifetime.

We had spent similar days and perhaps between you and me there’s no need for words because we just know. We came back to the same empty rooms and we heard our echoes resound in our ears as we realized that our days could be like that in the future, for an infinity of time until we died.

Yet despite everything, we survived.

Jungkook leaned against Jimin and dropped his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes in turn. Jimin didn’t waste time to tuck him under his chin with one arm and it was the regular breathing of the older that soothed Jungkook.

Everything was new but he had missed this.

"Jimin?" Seokjin had pulled out of the desserts on the table, but Jungkook and Jimin didn’t come back. Seokjin walked with light steps along the corridor. To be honest he was a bit worried. Jimin didn’t tell him what had happened, but he seemed to think that the latest altercation between the two was his fault. Their interactions were so peculiar. Jungkook was so young, so full of all the passion of the youth, almost rude in his vehemence. Jimin, instead, was soft but firm as a rock over which crashed the different tides without breaking.

He had observed them. They behaved cautious with each other walking in small and hesitant steps, like fragile leaves bound to fall, and yet always there, looking for a way to get closer.

The bedroom door was open enough for Seokjin to see Jungkook and Jimin, whispering to each other so close, that soon there would no space.

Seokjin smiled.