“Tiffany, wait.” Yuri stopped the excited woman before they entered the ICU room. “You got to understand something.”

“W – what is it?” Tiffany suddenly panicked. “Yuri, you said she’s fine!”

“She is,” Yuri nodded eagerly. “What I’m about to say is… don’t give her flying hug. Be gentle and be careful because it’s just been five days. She’s not strong enough and I certainly don’t want to go back to the OR to fix the stiches.”

“Oh.” Tiffany smiled in relieved. “Well, then I’d give you the flying hug.” The woman jumped and squeezed Yuri tightly. “Thank you, Yul. Thank you for saving Taeyeon. I can never repay you for it.”

“You’re most welcome, Tiff. She’s my best friend. Of course I’ll do anything to help her.” The general surgeon patted Tiffany’s back softly. “Let’s go.”

Both women wore the gown and washed their hands using alcohol before they stepped into the cold space. Taeyeon’s room was at the end of the first row. They cautiously walked without making noise. Most patients were either sleeping or unfortunately still in coma, the nurses were all busy with their work. Some of them smiled and bow a little when they passed by the doctor.

As they drew nearer, Hyoyeon walked out from Taeyeon’s room with the biggest grin. She waved at Yuri and Tiffany delightedly then ran toward them.

“That – I mean Taeyeon!” Hyoyeon quickly covered and corrected her word, “Is finally awake!”

“I know. I was here!”

“Ready to see her, Tiff?”

“As ready as I’d ever be.” Tiffany nodded gratefully.

When the glass door slid opened, Taeyeon’s eyes were still closed. Hyoyeon had informed Tiffany that the sedative effect of the drugs were still in Taeyeon’s system. She’d be drowsy most of the time until it’s gone completely.

Tiffany steadily approached Taeyeon’s side. There were no signs Taeyeon was aware of her presence. Her shoulders rose up and down gently. Tiffany smiled at the sight. She touched Taeyeon’s temple with her knuckles softly.

“Hey, baby.”

Taeyeon stirred a bit, sensing the light brush. Gradually, she opened her eyes. She blinked a few times before a smile formed upon her lips.

“Am I in heaven?”

“God no,” Tiffany shook her head. “You’re on earth, baby.”

“Aren’t you the angel?” Taeyeon chuckled then grunted when the pain suddenly stabbed her stomach.

“You okay?!”

“Urgh… too early for laugh, I guess.”

“Take it easy, babe.”

Tiffany gently caressed Taeyeon’s abdomen, feeling the thick gauze dressing under Taeyeon’s gown. Deliberately, Taeyeon lifted her heavy hand and placed it on her wife’s.    

“Did I sleep for too long?”

Tiffany met Taeyeon’s mellow gaze. She could see the guilt and concern there. Tiffany was grateful but this was also overwhelming. It felt surreal. Taeyeon was awake. She had opened her eyes, she held her hand, making a light joke, as if nothing bad happened. Should she wake up realizing that it was just a dream, she’d be crazy for real.

“Babe?”

She bit her lip. “It doesn’t matter now, Tae. You’re awake, y – you’re not leaving me and that’s all I ask for.”

The patient nodded understandingly. “How are you?”

“I’ve been better,” her lips trembled. “But you’re aw – awake, it’ll get better again I–”

Taeyeon couldn’t move too much. So she tightened her grip, assuring Tiffany that she was not going anywhere.

“I’m here, babe. I’ll always be here.”

“B – but you’re almost…”

“Even a bullet can’t stop me to be with you.” Taeyeon stated as a matter of fact. “Literally speaking.”

“Please just… don’t say that word. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Okay,” Taeyeon replied softly. “How are the triplets?”

“They’re at your parents. They miss you and I don’t know how to explain this whole thing. I feel like I’m the worst mother. I never meant to neglect them,” her voice cracked as a tear descended. “I can’t stop crying whenever I see them cause this… image of losing you and raising them alone by myself are too much for me to handle.”

“We’re going to grow old together, I prom–”

“Don’t say things you can’t keep.” She wiped her tears with the back of her hand. “You said it before and I’ve died holding onto that. I’m selfish, I know, but Tae, I’d blame you, with every cell in my body, I’d blame you should you… should you move on without me.”

Taeyeon took a deep breath. She knew Tiffany didn’t mean that. She was emotional, upset and unquestionably not in her right mind. Just after the night she stated those comforting words of never leaving her wife behind no matter what, she metaphorically gone.

“Thank you for hang in there. I’m sorry I make you wait too long.”

“Tell me one possible way to not hold onto you.” Tiffany closed the distance between them and leaned in. “It’s impossible, Tae. It is impossible when my soul relies on you.”

-----

After endless nagging and constant lecturing from the cardio surgeon, Hyoyeon finally agreed to transfer Taeyeon to the ward as she also felt that her condition was good enough. It never occurred to her before, but staying in the ICU was indeed a spine-chilling experience.

Taeyeon was still weak and sleepy all the time. However, she never missed the chance to video call her children whenever she’s awake. This was the only way she could lessen the longing. They were not allowed to be in her room and Yuri had sternly forbid her to do extreme move, including standing or walking.

Tiffany and Taeyeon’s parents took turn to look after her. Every now and then, the lawyer had to go back home to take some clothes and other necessities. Not to mention, she had three children who needed her attention as well.

Taeyeon had asked Tiffany to stay at home and accompany the triplets. She had reassured her wife that she was fine and she had nothing to worry about.

“I almost lose you, Tae. I’ve spent days by myself in our room, thinking for the best yet the worse never leave me alone. I’m not going home without you.”

Thousands of sorry would never erase the horrible memory from Tiffany’s brain. A mountain of promises wouldn’t be able to remove her fear. She could’ve gone and ev