18

S O R R Y

I ran back to Yoon Sung. When everything goes south, she's always been the person I looked to.

She looked surprised at my urgency but more worried at my tears.

Rushing over to me she wrapped her arms around me and cooed in a gentle voice.

"Let it all out sweetie, all your worries, anger, sadness, drop it at our feet."

I kept weeping into her shoulder.

I was such a .

Why did I even agree to come back to Korea?

Why did I even think coming back to live in my old house was a good idea?

Why did I think coming back with my boyfriend was a good idea?

Why did I even agree to be his girlfriend in the first place?

I felt like a complete user.

I was using him.

I had to accept the reality of my situation.

It was the truth.

And I only figured it out right now.

I used him.

As my rebound.

"I need help," I pleaded, looking up into her eyes.

"What is it hun?" she asked, my hair, although she seemed like she already knew what was wrong.

"I... still... love him Yoon Sung-ah," I burst out into tears again. "I'm such a ."

"No. Stop there," she said, wiping at my tears with her fingers. "Never call yourself a for loving someone. You can't help yourself for falling out of love for Joo Hyeon, alright? It's not your fault. The heart wants what it wants," she said, her eyes looking empathetic.

"What do I do?" I sobbed harder.

"Go talk to him," she said to me, "Tell Joo Hyeon."

"I can't-"

"You have to," she cut me off, "And besides, if he truly loves you, he'll let you go. He can't force his feelings on you."

"Bu-"

"Go. Go and tell him," she said, "Go right now."

She turned me around and I let her. Wiping my tears so I looked at least slightly decent, I rushed out and ran home.

Bursting through the door, I startled Joo Hyeon as he was watching TV.

"Woah!" he laughed when he saw me walking over to him. "Hey, you alright?" he asked, looking into my eyes.

"Joo Hyeon-ah," I whispered and ran into his arms, feeling his protection for the last time.

"What's wrong babe?"

"I'm so sorry," I sobbed, "I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?" he asked, but he looked like he already knew what I was talking about.

"I can't lie to you anymore," I told him and he sighed.

"Took you long enough," he said, looking to the floor.

"I'm still in love wit- Wait what?"

"I know you still love him Soo Young-ah," he said to me.

"What? But you still..."

"When I met you, I fell in love with you so quickly," he said, a tear slipping from his eye so quickly anyone would've missed it. "But I realised that you still loved someone else, that's why you were so guarded. I made myself a goal, and that was to let you find your happiness before I disappear," he said the last bit in a small whisper.

"Joo Hyeon-ah..."

"Now, I need you to go to him and tell him about how much you missed him," he said to me.

"Huh? Just like that..."

"Yes," he said, still looking to the floor.

It hurt me so much to know that if he lifted his head, I would see tears, and he knew that too, which was why he wasn't showing me.

"Where are you going to-"

"I'll book a hotel room before I go back to New Zealand, don't worry Soo Young-ah," he said, rushing me into a quick bear hug before walking to his luggage in the corner of the room. We still hadn't unpacked yet, and I guess this was coincidental, "Good bye Soo Young-ah."

"No... You can't just leave!"

"Why not? My job is done. You found your love, it's not me, so I'm leaving, isn't that what's meant to happen?"

"You can't just leave though. I did have feelings for you. Those aren't going to just go away in a split second because of something I just realised."

"So you want me to stay, me with my feelings for you, just to watch you run the other way?" he asked, his tone sounding gentle but his words cutting the air like a knife.

"No, but-"

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