" Is she going to be alright ? " Junmyeon asked with much concern. 

He looked at Irene, who was lying in bed. After a turbulence of a night, she was finally saved from death. Her skin was finally returning with some colour, she was completely pale as snow the previous night. He felt something was wrong, he couldn't sleep. After a few shots of tea, it still didn't work. He was still lingering over the unfinished sentence from Irene. 

Then he thought he'd check on her just in case she wanted to say anything more, that she calmed down a bit. He felt like something was wrong, the lights were still burning from inside, she couldn't have been awake this late. He knocked thrice, then he started banging the door with his fists. " Irene, let me in ! " he was shouting, that would've woken up the whole floor. 

Finally, he just started throwing himself at the door, trying to break it open. His heartbeat was racing, in fear that something had happened to her. His shoulder was slightly getting sore, but he fought on. After what seemed like an eternity, the door finally opened. He stormed in, hoping to find Irene in bed. Maybe jolted awake from all the chaos he had caused, and she would get over his compulsiveness. But she wasn't in bed.

He looked around frantic, and he already was sensing footsteps all racing to the situation. He looked over to the bathroom, the lights were on. Dread was creeping in, his biggest fear was somehow making sense.

He found her in the bathtub, submerged in clear water and her nightgown. He carried her out, like a lifeless ragdoll. She was pale as snow, completely hopeless.

" Irene ! " he was calling her up, hoping he was being fooled. He shook her hard, " Don't scare me like this ! " he demanded like she would obey, but she didn't. He tried CPR, it was indirectly kissing her. But it was still no use. He tried again, trying to get force out the water from her chest. He repeated it again and again, until he didn't even realize the crowd of people entering the scene.

" Your highness ! " one of the maids gasped in shock. " We can handle this, please let us handle this-"

" No one touches her ! " he snapped, in a tone he would never use infront of people. This was an exception, he was too busy thinking about Irene.

He got to his feet, with the partially dying girl in his hands. And he ran like he never did, all the way to the hospital wing. In his mind, he was silently praying. ' Hold on, please hold on. I can't lose you, not right now. ' he kept saying in his mind, like Irene could read his mind.

The doctors were in the operation room, the room resrticted with locked doors, only revealing the rays of fluoroscent lights. All that happened, and Junmyeon was sitting outside the room. His heart beating fast, silently praying she was going to be fine. 

" Hey. " someone approached him. " Didn't think you'd be up this late..."

Then Kyungsoo came over to sit right next to him. He was in a white button down and slacks, unlike Junmyeon who was merely wearing his dark blue long sleeves, sweatpants and sneakers. Junmyeon spotted a lipstick stain on Kyungsoo's shirt collar, he raised his eyebrows. 

" Sorry to interrupt your...night. " Junmyeon said awkwardly. 

Kyungsoo laughed without humor, " It wasn't interesting anyway. So, I heard. "

" About what ? "

" You, Irene, at least I hope I got the information right. " 

Junmyeon continued to nod, " Wow, that was fast. "

" The gossip never ends, even in the dead of night. " Kyungsoo said. " But I want to hear the real story from you, so is it true ? What happened ? "

Junmyeon sighed, his head in his hands, " I found her in the bathroom, she was unconscious. I tried saving her, but she wasn't responding. So I brought her here, now look where we are..."

Kyungsoo silently listened, then he leaned against the wall as he sat. " Don't get me wrong, Junmyeon. But I've been thinking a lot lately, I really think she's been acting strange. "

Junmyeon narrowed his eyes, " What do you mean ? "

" Think about it, just who simply douses themselves in water ? I don't know about you, but I think she was trying to kill herself. This was suicide, Junmyeon. "

He refused to accept it, it was impossible. " You're thinking too much, it was an accident. It has to be-"

" Stop ignoring the obvious ! " Kyungsoo cut him off. " It's pretty clear she wasn't taking a bath, why else would she would get herself drenched in cold water ? Junmyeon, I've said it before but I'm still going to repeat it. We need to take precautions, and not just let it slide. First Wendy Son, now Irene. The rest of the Selected are starting to feel anxious, someone even left the competition, fearing that they'd be the next victim. "

" Wendy's different. " Junmyeon protested. " She's still...under investigation. I believe Irene would never do something like that. "

" You're too naive, Junmyeon. And trust me, father is getting on edge. He expects you to do the right decisions, to be a wise future ruler. "

" And I am making the right decisions, I am doing what's right. " 

" No, you're not. " Kyungsoo said sternly. " A piece of advice, don't let love blind you, Junmyeon. Some things just look perfect and harmless, but you don't know what's the demon lurking from within. Like Irene, you don't know her, not quite yet. You don't just pour your heart out and expect people to show their cracks as well. You'll just expose your vulnerability to them. " 

" Enough of this, this conversation ends here. I am not going to accuse Irene for something that is not confirmed yet, when she's still fighting for her life. I believe in her, I trust her to not do anything that might be your suggestion. If anything you say might be true...we'll discuss this in the morning. Not now. "

Before Kyungsoo could protest anymore, the operation doors opened. The doctors came out with the nurses, flipping through notes as he took off his mask. Junmyeon hurried forward. Kyungsoo stood at where he was, silently looking at him.

Up until the morning, he sat there looking at her. She looked perfect to him, she wasn't any much different or less than the other girls. Her face was still her face, her lips were still her lips. Irene was still Irene, no matter what the doctors told him. 

'Are you sure she's not suffering from illness, your highness ? ' the doctors asked him. ' She had an overdose of sleeping pills.'

Junmyeon shook his head, 'I don't understand, she never acted unusual.'

'People with mental illnesses rarely do show signs of strange behaviour, especially people with her type of problem. Your highness, miss Irene may be suffering from survivor's guilt.'

'What's that?'

'It is something only people who have experienced loses suffer from, maybe a dead family member they've failed to save. Traumatic experiences from the past including invasions, war, gruesome memories, these lead to survivor's guilt.' he explained. 'In other words, these people fall into deep depression. In miss Irene's case, she's very good at hiding it if you've never noticed anything strange about her.'

He pursed his lips, 'This is serious, she might've been dead if it more than an overdose. Why didn't she tell anyone?'

The doctor cleared his throat, 'Most people don't even know they have mental illnesses, they just think they are like everyone else. But what they suffer from is a higher level of grief and guilt they just can't let go of. I will send a prescription for her as soon as possible. '

'Good, take care of her. I want her under the best care there is, and please do everything you can to cure her.'

'Your highness, illnesses involving emotions and the heart cannot be healed by a professional doctor. That, is your duty for her to let go of whatever she's keeping locked in her heart. '

Junmyeon sighed and sat down by the side of her hospital bed, and gently took her hand. Reassuringly, it was still warm. Not like all the other girls with smooth skin like a babbies, her's was as rough as the maids who did the washing and cooking. Still, those were her hands and that was all that mattered.

'What can I do?'

'You convince her to open her heart to you.'

I didn't remember anything from the previous night, and I had no idea how I ended up in the hospital bed. I opened my eyes slowly, then it all started to come back. My whole body was stiff, and weak, unable to do much. I could only turn my head a little. Then I realized something else.

Junmyeon was sitting next to me, he was wide awake and looking at me. His warm brown eyes looking at me tenderly, his hands clutching mine like I was the world. Just by him doing that, I felt safe. I started breathing faster, and he brushed his thumb over my cheekbone.

'Easy there.' he said softly and quickly offered me the glass of water on the nightstand. Then he noticed my fingers were still a little shaky, 'Come, darling.' and he slowly tilted the water into my mouth. 'Feeling better ?'

I nodded, 'A little. Junmyeon, what happened ?'

He cleared his throat, 'Irene, you need rest. Everything can wait until you're well enough-'

'No, tell me what happened to me? Why am I here ?' I insisted.

'You-you nearly drowned in the bathtub, you suffered from an overdose. The doctors diagnosed you with survivor's guilt.' he said quickly.

'What does that mean?'

'Irene, you have to be honest with me.' he ran his fingers over my knuckles. 'If not I can't help you, okay?'

I shook my head, I was so confused, 'What's wrong with me?'

'Irene, do you remember anything from last night? Maybe dreams of sorts?'

Then it all started coming back, flashes of the nightmares, vivid and real and spinning like an awful kaleidoscope. The Infected that lunged at me, that hideous creature that wasn't supposed to be my mom, deceit within a fairytale. I started shaking again. 'Oh, nonono.' I clutched my head, it was shaking as well. 'It was the worst, I never want to see it again. Junmyeon, it was the most god awful thing ever.' I was close to breaking down again. 

He gently wiped away my tears, 'I never asked you to be honest with me, but I need you to do that now. Please, this only happens when someone loses someone they cared for. Irene, please tell me.'

I hesitated for a while, but I had to let it out. 'You asked me if I ever lost someone I cared for, you were right. Except I have lost more than one person in my life, and I couldn't save them.'

He nodded, 'Can you tell me more?'

'I lost my mom, a person who saved me but ended up dying on his own, and he turned into the Infected.' I whimpered. 'I thought I could save them, it's too late. Both of them died infront of my eyes, Junmyeon. Their looks on their faces when they died, I can never forget that.'

Junmyeon was silent for a while, then he pushed a strand of my hair to the back of my ear. 'Irene, why didn't you tell me? You don't have to keep it from me, you don't have to do this alone. I'm right here for you.'

'Junmyeon, does this mean I'll have to leave the Selection? Since I'm not-well, or right in the mind-'

'No, you will stay. I won't make you leave.' he cut me off. 'We'll make it work, I'll do everything I can.'

I was so touched, I didn't know what to say. 'Junmyeon, you don't mind even if I'm practically going mad?'

He shook his head, 'No, I don't mind.'