I headed out the meeting room, alone again. My body numb, I was thinking hard. Was the Governor really that bad of a person ? I couldn't doubt it if he had a daughter like Jiyeon, she had a heart of steel. Were my words going to do any harm to me ? I was torn between sure I said that because it was the right thing to do, or was there something else ?

No one could change Junmyeon's heart, but was his heart meant for me ? I keep forgetting that I wasn't here to win his heart in the first place, but the throne. To make matters worse, I had throw him over. How could you expect me to do something like that ? My heart wasn't steel, and even if Junmyeon didn't like me in any way, I still doubted my will to hurt him.

" Well, I think you'd make a wonderful king. I can see it in your eyes, you're destined for great things. " I heard someone say in the library. 

" You're too kind, Jiyeon. " another voice chuckled. " I still have a lot to learn, but thank you for your encouragement. " 

I peeked a little into the library, and my heart suddenly dropped a beat. Jiyeon was talking to Junmyeon in the library, the two of them were alone before I invaded their privacy. Jiyeon was leaning against the study table, and Junmyeon was standing casually opposite her. His navy suit matched well with her dress, and the position they were in suited them very much.

" We've known each other ever since we were kids, I know you Junmyeon. " she laughed along. " Why, you can ask me anything about you, I can answer it. "

Junmyeon crossed his arms and furrowed his eyebrows, " If that's the case, when was the last time I cried ? " 

She smiled, " Trick question, you never cried ever since you were three. You're a heartless person when you want to be one, Junmyeon. "

" Huh, but I do know how to cherish the people around me. I can promise you that. "

Jiyeon smiled, " And...I can promise you that I'll always be beside you, Junmyeon. Always, and forever. " 

The eerie silence made me uncomfortable, due to her bold words. Was she really making a promise ? I hoped not, because dread was filling me. I never made that kind of promise to him, was he going to change his heart ?

" Ahem. " I cleared my throat aburptly, and walked in. Jiyeon glared at me, and stiffled. Her cheeks were turning dark red, it was clear she didn't want anyone else interrupting their little moment. Much less me.

" If you'll excuse me Junmyeon, I should go. " and she walked off. 

When she was gone, I looked away. The first thing was, I didn't even know why I barged in the first place. I was torn between being jealous or just plain stupid, I honestly didn't know what I was doing.

" I think I should go. " I blurted. " I never should have interrupted you. " and I my heel.

" Then why did you come here in the first place ? " he asked me, surprised. " If not to find me, Irene ? "

" I-I can't answer that. " I lied. " I should go. " 

" Irene, come back ! " he called after me, but I was pacing faster. The knot inside my stomach was churning, it was awful. 

I ran all the way to the dining hall, I was out of breath by then. No one battered an eye, to my relief. 

" Where were you ? " Seulgi questioned. " I saw Jiyeon coming in all mad, anything have to do with you ? "

I laughed nervously, " Of course not. "

The next night, we had a small ball with the Ottawa royal family who were visiting due to economical relations. I was put into a pink dress and pumps, dainty makeup and my signature poppy pins. 

The prince was nowhere to be seen, which made me quite curious. I know I had no right to even question his whereabouts, but it was an instinct now. My soul was half there half not, half of it was drifting somewhere else.

Then someone grabbed my hand, making me jump a little. It was Junmyeon, I knew it was him even if he was masked. " May I have this dance ? " he asked me curtly.

I whipped around, " Um, of course. "

" Then how about a dance away from here ? " he asked again. " It's a little hectic in here. "

I was taken aback, " Junmyeon, I-I don't understand. "

" You don't have to, just trust me. " he said urgently.

I know you can't reject a prince's request, but I couldn't reject ' Junmyeon's ' request. The way he spoke to me, it was something I couldn't pull away from. I looked around worriedly, I was scared anyone else might notice us doing something besides dancing. I looked at him again, " But we'll get into trouble-"

" It's going to be fine, just follow me. " he told me again, his hand still held out.

I hesitated, but I took it in the end. Like that, he pulled me through the crowd of people, some glancing back but they cared less. I held the skirts of my dress, trying hard not to trip. We looked like little kids, running away from the hectic atmosphere. 

We were out of the ballroom, and we still kept running. Junmyeon had taken off his mask, and I came to notice he was only wearing pushed up dress shirt, nothing like a prince. The way he acted right now didn't seem like a prince. Still, he brought me outside the castle, infront of the magnificent flight of stairs. 

" Where are you taking me ? " I demanded once and for all. 

He looked at me, " No questions, just follow me. I have so much to tell you, and it has to be tonight. " 

" Why-"

" No questions, Irene..." he repeated.

I sighed, took off my heels, and took his hand. Together, we descended down the stairs rapidly. Let me just say those few moments were the most free I had within the castle walls, and I couldn't care less. We ran all the way to the lighthouse near the dock, it was just a few blocks attached with the castle. I realized the castle was a lot bigger than I expected, and some places I didn't even know.

We ventured up the spiral staircase, up to the lookout tower. The spotlight lit up the whole place, setting off a nice fuzzy feeling. He beckoned me to sit on the carpet he settled on the ground, his smile welcoming. I smiled back and sat next to him, and silence came once again.

" Why did you run out the other day ? " he asked me gently, it sounded like a whisper.

I pursed my lips, " I didn't come here for an interrogation..."

He traced his finger on the back of my hand, " I'm just curious. "

" I didn't want to ruin your little moment. " I said awkwardly. " I didn't know why I did that, really I don't know-"

" Shh. " he cut off. " Do you hear that ? " 

I raised an eyebrow, " Hear what ? "

He searched high and low, and smiled, " It's your heart, I can hear it ! Listen, I'm jealous. " he smirked. " I think your heart's saying it's jealous. "

" I'm not ! " I protested, and crossed my arms. " Besides, why should I ? You're the prince, you can do whatever you want. "

He looked hurt, " Even so, I have feelings too. I'm not a jerk that would go loving other girls on first sight. "

" Well, you never said you loved anyone yet. But every other girl competing in this is head over heels over you, except me. They would even die for you, but I wouldn't. See ? It makes sense if you prefer other girls besides me, because you'd know they'd be there for you. "

" But I don't see where's the problem. "

" That's the very problem, Junmyeon. I'm not sure I can die for you, or I could risk losing everything else besides you. We all have secrets, and I can never tell you what secrets are kept. I can't be honest with you, how can I expect you to love me even if you know my problems, my flaws, my secrets-"

He took my hand again, his delicate fingers from long hours on the violin ; I was scared he might mind my rough palms, because I was anything but a dainty lady. But he didn't say anything, and slowly held my hand against his chest. It beat lively and strong, each beat pulsing against my will.

" Hear this ? " he asked gently. " My heart's saying something. I just want you, Irene. I don't care how many problems, or flaws, or secrets you have. I. Don't. Care. "

I was getting teary eyed, " Then what do you care ? "

" I just want you, that's all I want. "

It seemed like a distant echo, but that echo was the loudest I ever heard in my heart. He wanted me, that was all there is to it. That happiness was coated above, deep down I knew that would be impossible. I could never have that happy ever after, I wasn't part of it. I wasn't part of the city within, my real life was out there with Jinnie. I wasn't a princess, Junmyeon wasn't meant for me.

What if, just what if I could break the barriers ? Tell him the truth, that I'm not what he thought I was. That I was supposed to kill him, that I dragged myself into this situation because I was forced to. He might forgive me, and hear me out, everything would be alright, and we might get the happily ever after.

But things never turned out alright, not like that.

Stop it ! My inner voice woke me up. I snapped out of it, and immediately got up from the groung. Junmyeon was surprised too. I looked away, and blinked back my tears and wiped away the droplets that were already leaking. Breathing deeply, I looked out the lookout tower. 

" No. You don't understand, and you never will. " I repeated. " Like I said, I'm not worth the while. Listen, Junmyeon-"

He pulled me closer without a warning, then I realized he was kissing me. His lips pressed against mine, hard and fierce. I was in a state of shock, and tried to pull away, but he refused. I never kissed anyone before, so I didn't know what I was doing. I was crying a little, I didn't know why. 

" Trust me..." he mumbled as his lips were pressed against mine. He was kissing me hard, it hurt a little. His hands tangled in my hair, both of our eyes closed. 

My body weakened, and my hands automatically worked on their own. His hands loosened the pins, and my hair fell to my waist. My adrenaline was pumping hard, it was something I never felt before. I was conscious if anyone was there, but there was the only the two of us. This wasn't the Junmyeon I had expected, not this boy desperately kissing me like he was gasping for one last breath.

This was not the fairytale storyline I had asked for, this was more than that. Every kiss made me ask for more, and it was a bad thing. I knew I could never kill him, or even try. This was a guilty pleasure, with consequences. But I didn't care. 

I wanted him.

When he was done, he slowly broke away. His eyes were glassy, as he looked at me with a shameful look. My lips were red and swollen from the kiss, and we both looked like a mess. I straightened myself.

" I-I'm sorry, Irene. " he blurted suddenly. " I didn't know what got into me, I didn't mean to offend you. "

" Y-you didn't..." that was all I could say. 

He looked utterly uncomfortable, " I should go, Irene. " and he picked up the blanket and started walking away.

" That's all you have to say ? " I asked breathlessly, somehow empty. 

He stopped walking, and turned to look at me. " I just want to know what you feel, then I can end all this. End the Selection, I wouldn't have to gamble my feelings. I wouldn't be putting my heart on the line like a prized jewel. I just want to listen to your heart, Irene. I never thought it'd be this hard. "