My apology is in the A/N below, please read.

//Jongdae//

It's been three weeks since I got home from France, and Minseok still hasn't messaged me. To be fair, I haven't had the confidence to message him either - always afraid that he won't want to message me or won't reply either.
So I spend my evenings staring at my phone, biting my lip anxiously, willing Minseok to type something, anything. Even just a "Hello, Jongdae" would be amazing right now. 
I turned 16 about a week ago and didn't even get a happy birthday from the baozi. Yeah, my friends distracted me most of the day but in the evening, I was waiting for a call. I even almost called him myself, my fingers hovering over the call button, but I couldn't press it.
Why am I so afraid? 
We exchanged numbers to stay in touch, not to not message each for a month afterwards almost. 
My phone vibrates in my hand, and I snap out of my trance with a jolt. Please let it be Minseok, please, I think to myself.
It's not. It's Baekhyun. Asking if I could study with him and Chanyeol this weekend. 
I sigh loudly. I guess I could do with some study partners, because college is tougher than I thought.
Baekhyun and Chanyeol have been my best friends since I moved here. I guess since they are Korean too - both hailing from Seoul and friends since birth - that they took me under their wing. I'm glad too. I mean, both of them can be massive s sometimes, but so can I and anyway they know when to draw the line.
I send a quick message back, agreeing to meet at Chanyeol's on Saturday. He's got the most study books anyway, as his parents want him to be a doctor or something. He really wants to be a musician though, but has agreed to do well in school first so he has something to fall back on. 
I admire that about my tall friend. He knows where he's going in life and has a back up plan. Whereas I have no idea. The only thing I'm really good at is singing - but the only people who know that are Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and probably the cleaning lady that sometimes turns up unexpectedly.
Baekhyun says I should be in performances, but I don't have the confidence. I'm not confident in my own strengths and Baek tries to convince me that I'm constantly underestimating myself, but I struggle to believe him. 
Personally, I don't see how I could make a career out of a good singing voice. I need a back up plan.
And frankly, I don't have one.
I stare at the illuminated phone screen desperately for another couple of minutes before sighing in defeat and throwing it onto the floor next to my bed. 

Saturday rolls around quickly. I want to have a lie in, because I'm worn out from the work college is giving me, but I can't. 
Baek is leaning on the doorbell at 9am sharp. "Jongdae, get your lazy out here! We have work to do." He yells over and over, and finally I drag myself out of bed, and walk almost zombie-like towards the front door. I yank the door open, almost causing Baek to fall over, before yawning loudly and rubbing the sleepy out of my eyes.
"Jongdae, you look like . Go and have a shower or something." Baek says, wrinkling his nose in mock disgust. That's Baek for you, straight to the point and mostly, no brain-to-mouth filter.
"Good morning to you too, Byun." I snort. Baek laughs, his eyes twinkling, and he skips into the living room and makes himself comfortable. 
"Well, go and get ready then. I've already been to Chanyeol's, he's ready and waiting." Baek shoos me into the bathroom.
I chuckle. I know what he means when he says he's 'already been to Chanyeol's'. It means he stayed the night there.
They've been going out for about two months now and to be honest, they're the cheesiest, most annoying power couple ever. They hold hands under the desk and whisper cute things in each other's ears all the time. I'm like a constant third wheel to be honest, and Baek is plotting with Chanyeol to get me a boyfriend.
I laugh at the thought. 
They'll never find me a boyfriend here though, because the one I want is in America kissing another girl. 
That thought stays with me all throughout my shower, leaving me kinda depressed once I get out. 
Of course, Baek notices this the moment I get out the shower. "Hey, Mr Grumpy Pants," He says, poking me playfully. "What's gotten into you?" 
I roll my eyes as I grab my books and pens. "Nothing."
"Nothing," Baekhyung mimics. "Nothing my . Come on, tell Auntie Baekhyunnie your teenage problems." He coos. 
I sigh. He always does this when there's something wrong. He pretends to be my agony aunt or something, like the advice he gives is worth something. Usually, it's a load of bull.
Baek pouts when I stay silent. But I see the glint in his eye all of a sudden, and brace myself for the inevitable direction this conversation is about to go in. 
"Is it a boy, ChenChen?" He says hopefully.
"Can we go?" I complain, changing the subject. "I'm ready."
Baek sighs in despair. "Alright, but this conversation is not over." He says, glaring at me playfully. I nod, knowing all too well that it's not.
The short ride over to Chanyeol's is tense and silent. Baek stares ahead at the road, sometimes blowing hair out of his eyes or sighing quietly to himself, but apart from that, he doesn't move except to change gear. 
I'm glad to get out at the other end, and grab my books and push past Baek so I don't have to witness the overly passionate greeting kiss the two new lovers will inevitably share. 
"Hey, Jongdae." Chanyeol greets me cheerfully, and he ruffles my hair as usual. 
I wince as his fingers rub unnecessarily hard against my sensitive scalp. It happens every time, yet I'll never be used to the feel of his fingers on me. It just feels wrong, whereas with Minseok everything felt right. 
"Hello." I flash him an awkward smile before setting my small pile of books next to Chanyeol's stupidly tall one.
Baek tiptoes to whisper something in Chanyeol's ear and I turn my back on them, rolling my eyes. Trust Baek to tell Chanyeol everything, although I'm not too bothered really. He was going to ask about it again anyway, with or without Chanyeol.
Chanyeol laughs his deep, throaty laugh and whispers something back to his boyfriend.
They giggle childishly behind me for a good five minutes until I can stand it no more, and turn around angrily.
"Yah, you two. Can we actually do what I came here for? Stop gossiping about me." I say, glaring at them both. 
They shuffle around the table with their heads down guiltily as if they'd done something wrong.
"Right," I say, flicking through the book to find the page I'm stuck on. "Can you guys help me with this? I didn't understand it at all." I point at the particular problem and Baek sighs before leaning forward to explain it to me. 
After minutes of listening to his bored voice droning on and on, I start to get the feeling that this isn't what I was invited over for. 
I cut Baek off in the middle of explaining what active transport is, and he looks up at me, startled. "You don't wanna study anymore?" He says, feigning sorrow. 
I snort. "More like you never wanted to study in the first place." 
Baek grins. "Dammit, we've been found out, Yeol." Chanyeol sighs dramatically.
"You know, I thought he'd never realise." He sniggers. 
I slam my science book shut and start gathering my pens furiously. I need to study, they don't understand how hard I have to work to stay in this college, unlike them who are naturally smart. I actually have to revise and study and haven't got time for them to mess around with my studying schedule. I don't have time to go on their stupid blind dates or listen to their dating advice. 
I start to leave, but Baek runs in front of me and blocks my exit. "Get out of my way." I hiss. Baek shakes his head determinedly, so I push him gently to the side and continue to walk hurriedly to the front door. 
"Jongdae! We're sorry!" Chanyeol sobs, running after me and grabbing my legs. I almost fall over at the sudden movement restriction, and yell out, annoyed.
"Let go of me! I don't want to go on another ing b