HAPPY CHRISTMAS MY SUBBIES!! or happy holidays if you don't celebrate ^^ here's my Christmas present to you, what about an upvote as a present in return? ;) jk 
prepare for trashy chapter

//Minseok//

All yesterday evening I was overthinking about what I said.
Did Jongdae hear me? I mean, after all, it was an indirect confession. 
He didn't react, just a jump in his steady breathing, but maybe that was just because he could feel my breath on a sensitive place? We were both shirtless, after all.
I said I wanted him, for Gods sake. How would you interpret that? ually? Wow, I didn't mean it ually - not that I'd turn that idea away - I only meant it as wanting to date him.
I love how I've gone from being appalled about being in love with a boy I see on holiday to being completely okay with it. It strikes me as funny, really, because I still have a girlfriend. 
Miyoung.
What to do? 
I guess I need to break up with her. What's the point in dating her when I'm attracted to someone else and actually reconsidering my uality? It's not fair to either of us, really. A) it's holding me back from seducing Jongdae, and B) it'd be lying to her.
Although seducing Jongdae is something to scoff at. My flirting is atrocious, really, because I've never really had to do it. Miyoung was the one who made the first move with us, even if I was the one that manned up and asked her out. So seducing Jongdae is going to be interesting, really. I'll either be too subtle, or too in his face and I'll scare him off. 
And I don't want that. I want to be closer to him, physically and emotionally, not further away than our home countries already make us.
Hopefully today I'll have a chance to embark on my awkward mission to flirt with the god that is Jongdae.
I mean, have you seen those cheekbones?
Haha. 
Not even two days ago I'd never have thought seriously about how good looking Jongdae is. Yeah, I can appreciate it, but it was more in that typical no homo kinda way that insecure teenage boys do. 
Now I'm thinking it's more like full homo. Yes. Yes homo. I am trying to be homo with you now. 
"Minnie?" Jongdae pokes his head around my room door, grinning brightly and jolting me from my amusing thoughts that happened to be about him.
"Mmm?" 
I'm currently tidying my room. I know I'm in a hotel, could probably get a cleaner to do it and won't be here much longer anyway, but I'm a bit of a clean freak and the growing collection of musty clothes is really starting to piss me off.
"What're you doing?" Jongdae asks, noticing my meticulous folding and approaches me, sitting next to me on my bed. He scoots closer, making our sides touch.
I glance at him surreptitiously, thinking "Jongdae, stop." 
I didn't think I'd be so affected by having my shoulder touch another guy's. But I can smell his cologne, it fills my nose with an attractively manly smell that is so typically and familiarly Jongdae. 
"I'm folding clothes, Dae, what does it look like I'm doing?" I roll my eyes, picking the next item of clothing from the messy pile and beginning to do the simple routine of matching the corners and folding the material neatly.
"I see that Minnie, I'm not blind," Jongdae pulls a stupid face, causing me to giggle like a flustered teenage girl. Well, I am basically that - just a boy on the outside. He reduces me to the emotional status of a fangirl sometimes, really. "But I mean, why are you doing it?"
I laugh. "Because I want to? Some people do desire tidiness, you know, even if you don't." I chuckle to myself and throw the next item of clothing on the folded pile.
"But why?" Jongdae whines. "You're on holiday." He points out, trying to grab the clothes from my hands as I scramble to fold it.
"So?!" I cry, slapping Jongdae's arm when he successfully wrenches what happens to be my favourite Tshirt from my grip.
"So," Jongdae clears his throat. "So, you should be enjoying yourself, not cleaning." He scoffs.
"Yah, but I am enjoying myself." I point out. "I'm with you." 
Jongdae falters at my words, almost falling over in surprise. His grip on my arm loosens.
", don't say things like that. You're gonna kill me." He laughs nervously, blowing upwards to remove hair from where it's fallen into his eyes. I raise an eyebrow, almost challenging him. 
"Oh yeah?" I don't know where this is going, but I certainly didn't expect my quiet evening of tidying my comfy hotel room to end like this. 
"Yeah." Jongdae bites his lip, nodding slowly. "I think you've always kinda had that effect on me." He whispers, staring in my eyes. I stare back, running my gaze over his dark brown irises and wondering really what was going on in his head. Because his eyes seem to be in turmoil, a heated debate on how to play this out. 
I'm feeling it too, Jongdae. Are you feeling that weird sensation running down your back? 
Although I've probably got less of an idea on how to do this myself, I hope I'm doing a better job of hiding it than you are.
Jongdae slowly lowers his arm holding my now creased Tshirt. Our gaze breaks awkwardly, and the silence in the room is heavy. He places it gently on the bed, trying to smooth out the creased he put there. "I should probably go." He murmurs. I don't reply, toying with an idea I've been thinking about constantly since everything that happened yesterday happened.
Jongdae takes my silence as a yes, and he backs up slowly, walking over and opening the door quietly. I see him look back, just once. "I guess I'll see you at dinner." He sighs, and I wonder if that's his sign of giving up. I don't know for sure what he feels. He doesn't like me like that. 
How could he, anyway? He's probably got a boyfriend back home... But then again, what would all this have been for?
The countless times he's saved me. The millions of video calls we had in a desperate attempt to keep a sinking relationship afloat. 
Jongdae turns to leave. This feels overly dramatic, am I making a big thing out of nothing? 
Probably. That's what I do in situations like these. I exaggerate. Read into things too much. 
"Jongdae," I call out. He turns, framed in the door. He raises an eyebrow, waiting for me to continue. Allowing me to continue. I fiddle with my duvet, not looking directly at him, because I know his gaze will be intense. And suddenly, I feel kinda shy. "I... I'm going to break up with my girlfriend." I stammer. 
Jongdae shows no exterior reaction. Of course. Confirmation, right? I definitely was reading too much into it. He smiles lazily. "I won't ask why, but cool." He waves and almost skips out of the room, pulling my door shut behind him. 
"Wow." I breathe out. 
That was intense. Almost cliché, in a weird way. 
Not something I'd like to experience again in a hurry. 

Now. Dinner.
Dinner was alright. Jongdae seemed to act like that weird moment earlier never happened, and I went along with it happily, telling myself to ignore the eyesmiles Jongdae was producing at almost everything that was said. 
I was eating contentedly, sat next to Mom and opposite Jongdae. The grown ups were caught up in some hot adult-y debate, leaving Jongdae and I just to slurp on our cool drinks and eat our food. I'm just chewing a particularly delicious mouthful when I feel a socked foot run down my shin. 
I almost choke on the mouthful I have, managing to swallow before it becomes drastic. Jongdae continues eating nonchalantly, and after freezing for a while, I manage to force myself to pretend like nothing happened and scoop up another mouthful.
But it happens again. A firm of a big toe from the top of my shin to the bottom. I glance at Jongdae from under my eyelashes, determined to stay bent over my food as if I have not a care in the world. 
Jongdae chuckles to himself as he does it a third time and I start coughing. Mom and Dad look at me weirdly, and suddenly the paintings on the wall and the pot plant in the corner become very interesting.
Oh yes, look at those green leaves. Damn, pot plants. 
Don't look at Jongdae. He just wants your attention. Come on, pot plant pot plant pot plant!!!
I don't know what he's playing at. The next time he does it, I give in and glare at him. He sniggers to himself and I angrily shove another mouthful of food into my mouth, sending him death glares all the while. 
"You okay, Seok?" Mom asks. "You're staring at Jongdae like he just ruined your favourite Tshirt or something." 
I think back to not an hour ago in my room when Jongdae snatched my favourite Tshirt from me. "You could say that." I sniff.
She shakes her head at, laughing. "You're something, aren't you Seokkie?" 
I ignore her, going back to my meal quietly. I'm almost finished when I feel two feet poking mine. Oh, not again.
Jongdae catches my eye, smirking. I give him a face, which if it's read correctly should come across as: "What the hell Jongdae, really? Are you twelve?" 
He only laughs silently at me, continuing to plague my feet with his. I can't believe that he wants us, mature teenagers, to play footsie.
Well, I say mature, but in reality... probably not. 
And anyway, isn't footsie for lovers? We're NOT lovers. Right? No, we're not. I'm still technically dating someone. 
Instead of engaging in his childish (and frankly awkward) gameplay, I send a sharp kick to his ankle. He cries out, and for a split second I feel bad, but no. 
His Mum turns to him immediately. "Jongdae? Jongdae, are you alright?" She asks, hilariously concerned. 
He groans, glaring at me out of the corner of his eye. "Y-yeah, I'm fine." He chokes