//Jongdae//

The funeral is held two weeks later. 
It was a rather strange feeling. Having Minseok in my house, my country, and just with me should have been an ecstatic sort of occasion. Yet it was more somber than that: Minseok walked around in a daze, somehow, and it took almost all my effort to distract him. It's like he didn't really know what was going on half the time. He kept moving in and out of focus almost. If I tried to get his attention sometimes it would take two calls of his name and a sharp jab to the shoulder to bring him back to life.
I don't think he had really come to terms with the death. I mean, I understand he hadn't exactly been close to her - they lived a few thousand miles away from each other. But it's the family bond you feel with a person, I guess. It's sort of... surreal.
I'm trying to make up an explanation for the way he's acting, but I'm pulling at strings here. 
Today's not going to be any better though. Today is the funeral. 
I sigh as I look at myself in the mirror. I pulled out my best suit for this occasion, and it's kinda tight. I didn't know the woman at all, but I'm doing this for Minseok. I feel it's only right. It'd be disrespectful, as his boyfriend - I smile as the word runs through my mind - to not go when he is clearly so disrupted by her death. 
I pull at the collar of my shirt. I found a black shirt especially, but I think it's a year or so old now, because it's getting rather snug around me. Not that I dislike that though, because it makes me look a bit more muscular than I really am, but I think after the formal part of the funeral is over, I'll undo the top button. 
I tuck the back of my shirt into my trousers carefully. I don't want to embarrass anyone by having a duck tail at the back. 
Theres a quiet knock at the door. 
"Come in." I call. I know it's Minseok already because of the quiet sniffling I can hear through the door.
It opens slowly, and a red nosed Minseok pokes his head through. "Hey... I'm not interrupting, am I?" he asks, smiling anxiously.
I wander over and take him into my arms. Automatically, his hands grip onto my shoulders and his face buries into my neck. "Of course not. You're never interrupting when it's with me. You don't even need to knock, you silly. I don't mind you coming in here. It's your room as much as mine." I murmur into his hair, and press a comforting kiss to his temple.
He chokes a sob. "Thanks, Jongdae. For being so kind to me." 
I his back, rocking him back and forth slowly. "Anytime. Anytime you want, baby." 
He sniffs and pulls away. I run my thumb under his eye and collect his tears, wiping them away for him. 
"Can you - can you help me with my suit?" he asks, shyly offering his tie and a pair of cuff links. 
"Of course." I take the tie from him and lean towards him to circle it round his neck. Minseok stares at me whilst I tie is skilfully, but it's not a heavy stare; more of a lazy, loving gaze. At least, I hope it is. Otherwise I'm reading the signs wrong.
I pat his chest once I'm done. "There you go, Min." 
He smiles gratefully. "Thanks. I haven't tied one of those for a couple years now." he shrugs, and I look at him, surprised.
"Really? I had to tie one every day for like four years for school." I admit, opening my wardrobe to produce my old school tie. It's black and green stripes make me shiver: memories of strict teachers and detention with mates and flirting with the cute boys come flashing back.
"Did you... did you have boyfriends at school?" Minseok asks slowly, obviously having the same thoughts as me. 
I scoff. "Not really. Maybe like one or two, but they were never serious. No one wanted to go out with the weird nerdy boy who sang solos at every school show." I laugh, but it's half hearted. 
I used to be one of the jocks, I suppose you call it. Only because my best friend from primary school was one: he was immediately popular just because he was handsome and could dance incredibly well. His name was Taemin; I remember him well. He's friends with Jongin, and everyone says they look like twins. They dance really good duets at the shows, and everyone loves them. I'm glad Jongin doesn't hang out with Taemin now though, because Taemin's kind of an . No offence to the guy or anything, but he's changed so much. There's nothing of the dorky 11 year old left in him. 
I got into music pretty much as soon as Taemin started pissing me off. I already knew I could sing, so I thought, why not? And Baekhyun and Chanyeol, my best friends, were already in the music club, so I joined. That's where I met Jongin, because he likes to rap with Chanyeol and Baekhyun and I make up the vocals. Chanyeol and Baekhyun are pretty handy with instruments too, so we make a good team. 
But because of this, I never really got out. I went to a few parties I suppose, and a few drunk girls kissed me, but I never really... never got noticed. My crushes never liked me back, and so, I've never really had a boyfriend.
Until Minseok, of course. 
He looks at me, blatantly surprised. "You didn't have a boyfriend? But you're hot!" he exclaims.
I laugh and kiss him. "Not as hot as you though." 
Minseok blushes. "Shut up and put my cuff links on for me." 
I snigger at his flustered face and fix the cuff links through the holes in his sleeves. Once I've done it, he pulls at my shirt weakly. He sniffs. "I don't like that shirt," he says bluntly, and I look at it, confused. "It's distracting. You look sinful in it." 
I laugh and smooth down the tight material. I suppose it is, but I've never noticed it before - obviously because I don't find myself distracting, and I don't think my body is that amazing, but okay then. 
"Just as well I have a jacket to go over it then, huh?" I say, pulling Minseok towards me by the hips and pressing my lips to his neck. He breathes in sharply and I smile, kissing slowly over the same spot. 
"Mmm," Minseok groans distractedly. "I'm not saying I want you to cover up." he admits.
I squeeze his hips and slip my hands around his waist, pulling him closer to me, if that's physically possible. "That's a shame then, isn't it?" 
My hands slip into his back pockets and Minseok sniffs again, tears clearly forgotten. That's good, that's what I wanted. To distract him, even if it was only for a few minutes.
Minseok hums and curls himself against me. If we were any closer, we'd have to be one person, because there's no gap between us anymore. There's no distance at all, and it's as if the miles of sea between our homes has disappeared. I've never been more glad to be this close to someone before, and I've waited so long for this moment: almost a year now, and I'm not going to waste any time cherishing Minseok before inevitably... he has to go home.
I push the thought away. I shouldn't be thinking about that when Minseok is here, in my arms, loving me.
"I'm so - so lucky to have you, Jongdae." Minseok says, his voice wobbling a little. 
"Oh?" I mumble, surprised.
"No one's ever loved me like you do. I feel special, and I feel wanted, when I'm with you." he admits, and I blush, hiding it in his shoulder. 
"Not even your girlfriend?" 
Minseok shakes his head. "Nope. This is way different. It feels more... more real, more secure, more genuine. I feel as though nothing else matters when I have you, when I'm with you, and that's different to how I felt with Miyoung." he murmurs, and I squeeze him gently.
"Is this a second confession?" I chuckle, kissing the spot on his neck again.
"I love you." is all he answers, and I squeeze his through his trousers and lift my head up to kiss him properly on the lips. His hands rest gingerly on my hips, and I can still see traces of tears on his cheeks, but there's a grin replacing the frown. 
"I love you too." I whisper, and lean in to kiss him tenderly, massaging his lips with my own slowly. His eyes flutter shut and he leans into the kiss, responding almost immediately with a soft bite to my lower lip.
I pull away, breathing slightly erratically, and just gaze at Minseok's beauty, and smile. I'm about to voice m