"Are you sure you want to go with me?" A demure grin lay on my face as I shoved my suitcase into the back of his car "If I hurt you there will be no one there to save you" He threw his keys in the air and caught them as if to help his thought process, the passenger seat opened as he aimed his arm. 

"You are not frightening me Haru, I've had vegetables that alarm me more than you do" He ducked into the driver's seat as I slammed the rear of the car shut, my sights longingly hoped that Suki had seen me off - As she was the one who had warmed my glacial feet last-night. I had hoped that all my talk of indecisions and dilemmas would sway Chanyeol to get a refund on the tickets (which were overpriced anyhow)

As I decayed into the passenger seat I realised all my undertones of uncertainty had gone ignored or unheard, Chanyeol was aiming to enjoy this trip as if it was his last, I sighed aloud dramatically as the engine purred to life.

I wanted to cry like a child who was going to their grandparents for the weekend, yet I imagine even they would love being there upon arrival. My fingers at the indentations in the leather seats as I began to notice the car literally exhumed Chanyeol, even the air that was supposedly from the outside wafted a new scent of him directly at me.

How could I stay mad at a man who is unphased by all my sins?

Again I looked at him yet his focus was mainly on the road, I saw the edges of his lips curl upwards as his spare hand went to hold mine, he squeezed ever so delicately, as if he was holding the petals of a rare flower, I simply hung my head and let out a soft, silent laugh.

"think of this as more of a vacation than a chore" He pauses as he begins to drive over a very long, busy bridge "I bet I can get a little bit of enthusiasm out of you" 

"I'll try my best to enjoy it"  I mutter as I observe the new view ahead of us, one of the possible hundreds of roads this car will see before we enter Jeju, I could not help but claim his hand as I brought it into my lap as a portable stress ball, my thumb over the creases of his knuckles "I promise not to complain too much"

It would be entirely selfish of me to ruin this trip just because I do not wish to attend, I know secretly that Chanyeol is frothing with excitement, his aura practically trembles and sweats with enthusiasm.

I know I could learn to act like a normal human being, going on a normal trip with my normal-

Normal just doesn't fit anywhere with the both of us, even thinking that I could be normal should cause me to erupt into laughter, he is my anti, my opposite, I should hate him but I have... feelings.

Such a childish word yet I am afraid of the one term that seems so out of my experience yet utterly needed in this time.

Love, It's inevitable that he and I belong, yet my vocabulary refuses to stretch to the nearest corners.

Perhaps it is because I am never meant to love.

-------

Everyone experiences uncomfortable silences, but the silence between us was nothing but soothing for the hours that passed

Welcomed by boulders covered in moss that various coloured flowers danced around happily and the way the lush grass seemed to sway in tune to my personal melody, I realised we had arrived in Jeju, just as the