Eventually he let me out of his embrace, to which I began picking at stuff in his room. Clothes, Books, I even found crisp wrappers from weeks ago, at this point I'm just being nosey. All the while, Chanyeol just watched me, following my every move tentatively as if I would find something embarrassing.

I pick up a denim jacket from the floor, holding it close to my nose for a short second, the scent of vanilla is stained by whatever cologne he wore with this, dissatisfied I put it over his study chair "What's wrong with that? Not your taste?" He has proped himself up with his hand, his elbow into the mattress, he is wearing a smile that breaks my focus.

"It's not that, I love the jacket it's just my style" I thrum my nails on the desk with a sigh "But it dosent smell of vanilla..."

"Let's make a deal" He easily gets up from his bed in one swift movement, his hand on my back "I'll give you something of mine in return for something of yours"

"Like What? You can't wear any of my Clothes" I pause, I feel a lightbulb spark in my head "I've got it, But we will have to do this tomorrow, Suki will be asleep"

He traces his hand down to mine with a firm nod, gently twirling me into him, he sways with me gently "I just miss the smell of pomegranate"

As we sway to the silence of the room I peer over his shoulder at the moon, I then trace my finger down his spine.

"Tell me dog" I take a small breath as I shift away from him "How is it that I have never seen much of the wolf in you?"

I hold myself, rubbing my arm as I see him ponder how to answer, what to tell me.

Eventually he meets my gaze, leaning Into his desk as if it is an effort.

"I think its because I'm the calmest out of all of my pack" He swipes a photo off his desk, one of them all together "I'm able to control when I phase, it's very rare that I'll burst like some of the others"

He puts the photo back down, I can almost see him thinking about Baekhyun, guilt is injected into my veins.

I wish I could tell him I'm sorry every day for the rest of my life, yet I know he would only tell me that he is over it.

"It's okay to grieve, I'm not stupid, I can tell you miss him" I smile at him, reaching out my hand to his jaw, he leans into my hand.

He flickers his eyes out of the window, not saying a word "I'm supposed to be strong Haru, an alpha"

I press my head against his, feeling sadness overwhelm me "Even kings cry Chanyeol, I'm telling you its okay to let it out"

He puts his hand on the back of my head, scowling as he presses them together a little more "Thank you" He exhales deeply, I feel emotion coil out from him as if he can easily shake it off.

"Never be afraid to show your emotions" I whisper to him as I step away, keeping a soft, caring smile.

He slowly nods before his attention is driven to the sudden rumble of thunder from outside, I pat his shoulder.

"You are a good leader, Go out with them some time, you need to keep your pack"

"I will, it will give me chance to heal" He closes his window, shutting his blinds as heavy rain begins to slam into the windows "it's late, we have already exhaused ourselves"

I jump at the lightning as it's sound crackles through the walls, we are left in darkness as the power short-circuits.

We sigh.

"I could do with some sleep" I mumble, taking his hand in the dark.

----------------------------

I had left early before Chanyeol woke up to retrieve something from my room, I smile to myself before leaving Suki a note, explaining that I would see her later.

I had changed pants, keeping Chanyeols baggy shirt on, I would refuse to take this off, he would have to fight me for it.

I wander back to his dorm, two of the boys are cooking, they don't bother to look at me as I go back into Chanyeol's room.

Yet with my back turned I feel their eyes bore into my back.

A groan comes from the bed as I shut the door, I watch as Chanyeol pushes himself up, he finds me at the door, his hair in a ruffled mess.

"You know girls would steal you if they saw you like this" I place a pillow on the bed "I got you this, It smells of me and I've been sleeping on it for months now"

"They could try" He rubs his eyes with a smile, smoothing out his shirt "Its perfect" He takes the pillow and holds it to his body, he inhales and exhales loudly, peaking at me.

"That's not the only thing" I open my palm to reveal a beaded bracelet, I blush a little as it dosent look much, the beads are worn - the colour faded "I bought this the first time I came to the surface to remind me that there was a better place"

There is a small silence, He holds out his wrist "Are you sure this is okay?" He mumbles into the pillow that is pressed to his mouth "It seems really special to you"

"That's why I think you should have it, I trust you" I slip it onto his wrist, bringing his hand to my cheek, I nuzzle into it "Don't you notice I don't get spasms anymore when you touch me?"

"Of course I do" I crawl closer to him on the bed, I throw the cushion he was cuddling on the floor before laying myself on his chest, he flumps back on the bed with an 'umph' before my hair "I remember when you hurt me when I touched you, being able to do this, I feel like I've achieved something"

"You have" I lift up my head, looking into his eyes that bathe in adoration, my heart shudders "My brain trusts that you won't hurt me, although I don't trust myself"

"You can't hurt me, I always survive" He sniggers as he shifts me from his chest, he goes across the room and grabs something from the bottom drawer.

He saunters over with a cheeky smile as he hands me a black check jacket, his odour seeps from it, I immidiately put it on.

"All my clothes look good on you" He suddenly sweeps his head down and kisses my neck, I flinch as I feel something cold on my skin.

I feel a shudder in my back, a twisting feeling in my chest, I begin panting with watery eyes.

"Stop!" I slam my hand on his chest, suddenly feeling uncomfortable, he moves away as soon as he feels my hand, raising his eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, I'm not used to...kissing" I rub my neck "I didn't mean to reject you, my body just isn't used to this"

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't push you with affection" He stretches and sighs loudly "Let me get ready, we will see your dad"

I chew my lip, watching him walk to the bathroom, why can't I be like normal girls and let him love me?

I reach to my neck to touch the kiss but I feel a necklace, I go to the mirror, seeing a cube made out of pure diamond hanging safely on a chain.

Great, I ruined a romantic moment, how am I going to make this up to him?

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