He was shocked. Sehun is holding his head and kissing him. It wasn’t just a simple kiss. A deep one, with tongue and all and Chanyeol can’t really decide whether he was too shock or he really don’t mind it seeing how he just go on with it. But when Sehun push him to the bed and entrap him between his hands, Chanyeol starts to panic. He starts struggling when Sehun deepens his kiss and his hand start moving along the contours of Chanyeol’s body. Sehun stops and stares directly into Chanyeol’s eyes. A questioning look adorn his face. Sehun blinks a few times.

2 December 2012

They are watching movies. Chanyeol is lying in Sehun’s embrace. In the confine of their house, Sehun enjoys skinship a lot. The scene in the movie shows a mother who can recognize her child after being separated for a long time. Chanyeol looks up towards Sehun.

“Hunnie, would you be able to do that?” Chanyeol asks referring to the movie.

“Recognize you after being separated for long?” Sehun asks back for confirmation. He tightens his hug and rest his head on Chanyeol’s nape. Sehun can feels Chanyeol small nods. He hums.

“I don’t know. Maybe I can, maybe I can’t. There’s no sure way I can know.” Sehun answers. He can feels Chanyeol’s shoulder drops a little. He looks toward Chanyeol and sees the man pouting.

“…and baby, why are you pouting?” Sehun asks. Chanyeol turns to look at Sehun.

“I was hoping for some cheesy romantic answers. I forget that it was you I was asking. What was I expecting…?” Chanyeol comments plainly making Sehun chuckles. Sehun turns Chanyeol to face him.

“If something happens and we are separated for a long time…” Sehun paused. He stares at Chanyeol’s face, and run his thumb on Chanyeol’s cheek. Sehun leans down and kiss Chanyeol’s forehead.

“This forehead…” Sehun moves lower.

“This nose…” A simple peck on Chanyeol’s nose and Sehun stops to stare at Chanyeol’s lips. He thumb the lips and kiss it deeply. Sehun release the kiss after a while. He smiles.

“Even if my mind, my sense betrays me…my heart will recognize you…beats for you…always.” Sehun whispers the last part and Chanyeol turns completely red.

Present time…

“…always…” The words keep replaying in Sehun’s mind. His right hand starts caressing Chanyeol’s face. He leans down and starts kissing Chanyeol’s forehead…

…kissing the bridge of Chanyeol’s nose…

…and when it comes to his lips…Sehun stops. Recognition…Tears start dropping…one by one…Sehun finally pulls over.

A long silent between them. Chanyeol sits up.

“Sehun…” He calls as Sehun rubs his face.

“You should go back Chanyeol. I’m not in my right mind. I can’t be sure what I’ll do to you.” Sehun whispers before getting down from the bed and enter the bathroom. Chanyeol is at loss for words. He’s majorly confused.

“Is he aware or is he not?” Chanyeol wonders as he gets down from the bed. He feels sorry for Sehun that it didn’t register in his mind about what Sehun has done.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

The next morning, Kai receives another message from Sehun during breakfast.

“Going to visit Chanyeol. Won’t come in.” Kai reads as he sips the coffee Kyungsoo pours for him.

“Sehun’s visiting the grave.” Kai said when Kyungsoo shows him a questioning look.

“Often the one that hurt us the most is the one that we loves.” Kyungsoo said as Kai silently nods.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sehun sighs after reading Kai’s reply. A simple OK sign. He then pocketed his phone and step closer to the tombstone, the place he visited too much, it feels like his home, Sehun sits next to the tombstone and silently stare at the sky.

“Yeollie…Baby…My mind is having a conscience battle with my heart. What should I do?” Sehun speaks after a long silent.

“You already know what kind of answer Chanyeol will give, Sehun.” Comes a voice and Sehun looks around in alarms. He sighs when he sees Isaac standing a few meters in front of him.

“It’s your guilt. It’s eating you alive.” Isaac said as he sits next to Sehun. Sehun smiles weakly.

“There’s many thing that I want right now hyung. But what my heart most desires…Just me wanting him don’t justify anything hyung.” Sehun said with another deep sigh. Isaac chuckles slowly.

“I see him every day. He forces me to join his family dinner. Just him, little Nari and me since Irene was always too busy. Having him not recognizing me for who I am hurts like crazy. Yes, just having him around do not justify anything.” Isaac confess. Sehun sighs and lies on the ground.

“That make me jealous. How I wish it was me instead of you being forced to attend Chanyeol’s little family dinner. How much nicer will it be if it’s our family dinner instead of his…” Sehun voices out and Isaac simply hums.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

Baekhyun stands up with Jongdae following behind him when he sees the passengers start walking out from the arrival gate. They walk in a rush when they sees a familiar figure. The man pause in his walk when he realizes Baekhyun and Jongdae standing in front of him.

“Byun Baekhyun, Kim Jongdae…What a pleasure meeting you two here.” The man greets them happily. Both Baekhyun and Jongdae bow at him.

“Nice meeting with you too, Sir.” Jongdae greets.

“We’re actually waiting for you Mr. Jung.” Baekhyun said as they all walk to somewhere more secure. Mr. Immanuel gives an amused laugh.

“What I expect of you Baek. Did your intel found out or…”

“Isaac…” Baekhyun cuts. Jongdae can only give a sorry smile. Mr. Immanuel nods in acknowledgement.

“You’re impatient. Guess I have lots of explaining to do.” Mr. Immanuel said calmly as he instructs his attendant to gets some foods for them.

“We’ve met him. Your son in law.” Baekhyun said when Mr. Immanuel turns his attention to them. Mr. Immanuel looks startles a bit but keeps his composure.

“What have you done? Sir, you’re his uncle.” Baekhyun asks while Jongdae looks expectantly.

“Irene is my daughter. I don’t really have choice.” Mr. Immanuel answers calm.

“No choice?” Baekhyun was losing his patient but Jongdae holds his shoulder to calm him down.

“What exactly happen to Irene, sir? Can you explain it to us?” Jongdae asks calmly. They can see Mr. Immanuel starts frowning. He sighs.

“It’s temporary insanity. You’ve heard cases where mother kills their own children? It’s that kind of insanity. Irene was heavily pregnant when we heard about her husband accident…” Mr. Immanuel pauses. He looks at both Baekhyun and Jongdae who listening intently.

“Ivan found her in her bedroom, foam coming out of , her sleeping pills’ empty bottle…after the doctor flushed the drugs out of her system and she became conscious…the first name that she wails for was her late husband.” Mr. Immanuel stops as he rubs his face. The usually calm businessman look distraught.

“Then, how can Chanyeol get in the picture?” Jongdae asks breaking the silent. Baekhyun stays silently in his seat.

“Earlier, on the day before the fire…I went to visit Irene. Then Chanyeol was suddenly rushed to the emergency unit. He was in a car accident with his coworker. He was out for some client meeting. I found out when the nurse was trying to inform his kin. That’s when the wicked idea comes to me.” Mr. Immanuel confess. It was silent again for a while before Baekhyun speaks up.

“You used Chanyeol memory loss?” Baekhyun asks in disbelief. He looks disappointed.

“I don’t know he suffers from one. At that time I simply want to stabilize Irene. I planned to explain everything when Chanyeol comes too…his memory loss is merely a coincident.” Mr. Immanuel confess. Baekhyun was loss for words as he tries to understand the situation.

“But sir, about the corpse in the burned building? With Chanyeol’s engagement ring on his finger…” Jongdae asks. Baekhyun’s eyes widen in realization.

“His coworker. Mr. Jung, you used his coworker?” Baekhyun states as guilt and shame portrays on Mr. Immanuel’s face confirm everything.

“What we’re willing to do for the person that we love.” Mr. Immanuel comments, sound very defeated.

“…and Irene?” Jongdae asks trying hard to keep his calm.

“She’s for some reasons block her memories about the incident. I don’t know what she’ll do if she realize the truth.” Mr. Immanuel states worried as both Jongdae and Baekhyun rubs their face.

“It is more complicated than they thought…”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Sehun finally comes to work the third day after his birthday. Chanyeol was already at his desk when he walks in. The memories of what happen fresh in his mind. Guilt consume him.

“Chanyeol, comes to my office.” Sehun said as he walks pass Chanyeol. Chanyeol blinks confusedly before he starts following Sehun.

“Good morning Sehun. Are you feeling better already?” Chanyeol greets cheerfully earning him a questionings look from Sehun.

“Aren’t you angry with me?’ Sehun can’t help but ask. Chanyeol blinks a few times.

“Why should I be angry at you?” he asks confuse.

“I’m half aware of what I had done to you that day. I’m half expecting a punch in my face when I walk in today.” Sehun said in all seriousness. Chanyeol can’t help but pout at the thought.

“Do I look that violent to you?” Chanyeol asks with a raised brow.

“No, of course you’re not.” Sehun denies in haste making Chanyeol chuckles.

“Don’t worry. I’m not angry at you. Confuse maybe. You said it yourself that you’re not in your right mind, you’re sick and sad, which probably caused by me. How selfish am I if I still be mad at you?” Chanyeol reasons calmly and a look of relief can be seen on Sehun’s face.

“I’m glad. I’ll hate myself if I make you hate me.” Sehun said sincerely and Chanyeol simply smile.

“Is that all? If you’ve got nothing else to say, I’ll excuse myself.” Chanyeol said bowing and Sehun’s nods. He already opened the door of Sehun’s office when Sehun question stop him.

“How far you will let me go?” Sehun asks and Chanyeol looks at him with wide eyes.

“W…Wh…What?” Chanyeol asks trying to confirm what he had heard.

“I said, how far will you let me go if I don’t stop myself that night?” Sehun rephrase, looking directly at Chanyeol, silently waiting for answer.

“I…I…” Chanyeol stutters when he hears Sehun sighs before speaking again.

“You know, me and my Chanyeol…we’re lovers. We have been for years. Of course we’ve done more than just sharing few innocent kisses. I was thinking that you was him that night.” Sehun states, reminding Chanyeol about the situation which turns the man a deep shade of red. Chanyeol pretty much gets the idea of what Sehun’s talking about. Cold sweat starts forming on his body.

“I…I don’t…” Chanyeol stutters as he struggles to come up with an answer since that fact never did cross his mind.