A/N: I'm bacckkkkkk! And way faster than last time right? Yep! It took me a few days but I manged to write the next chapter and some of the next one as well. We're finally getting into the swing of things and I'm enjoying it a lot! I hope you all like the chapter! Credit for the title of the chapter goes to the song Shadow by Britney Spears. 

 

 

 

Chapter Twenty Two:

 

Just One Day was not a fast dance, nor was it complicated, but Jimin found that he really enjoyed this performance a lot. It was sweet and relaxing and he had fun every time he performed it in rehearsals. He found he enjoyed it even more performing it live.

 

He found that he actually didn’t have that much stage fright once he actually started performing. He actually even got a little brave, throwing flirtatious winks out to the audience and smiling sweetly. He even found himself harmonizing with the backtrack, throwing in his own ad libbed vocals.

 

He felt so calm being on stage. An eery sense of familiarity like this was his home, his life. When the song ended and the lights dimmed, Jimin found himself becoming more and more pumped. Staff dressed in black to blend in with the darkness ran out onto the stage and grabbed the chairs they had been using as props. They quickly ran off stage as Jimin and the rest of them got into their positions for Boy In Luv.

 

The hard beat started up and the blood pumping in Jimin’s veins beat along with it. His energy was rising within him and was waiting to go with everything he had. The opening lines started and Jimin was about ready to explode when--

 

Wae nae mameul heundeuneun geonde?

Wae nae mameul heundeuneun geonde?

 

Jimin danced his heart out, throwing his arms out hard and moving his legs like he knew he could. He could see the rest of the group members following the same moves and he felt a rushing sense of belonging.

 

This was so damn exhilarating and with every breath Jimin took, the oxygen fueled the fire in his lungs. When Yoongi’s solo came up, Jimin watched him with lightning in his eyes. A wave of pride crashed over him and it gave him another surge of energy as he continued on with the dance.

 

He was now in the front of the formation, and it was his turn to sing the chorus and Jimin threw himself at it like it was a pool on a scorching hot day. He stepped hard and swung himself around, dancing as if it was the last thing he would ever do.

 

The camera was in his face and winked. He played to the camera, his confidence rising and he knew that he would finish strong. The song had slowed down for the bridge but the anticipation leading up to the where he sang his high note out with Jungkook, caused stars to explode behind his eyes, momentarily blinding him before they quickly disappeared and he got back into formation.

 

They were in a single file horizontal line now and the performance was drawing to an end, but all Jimin could think about was how damn good this all felt. With his last couple of high notes, they struck their final pose and the music cut filling Jimin’s ears with only the sounds of screams. He relished in it. Those were for them. Those were for him. He never felt so proud of himself before.

 

He still felt the high as he left the stage and Taehyung and Jungkook jumped on his back whooping and hollering, telling him how well he did. Hoseok grabbed hold of his face and planted a huge kiss right on his cheek. Jimin shoves him away with disgust and hurriedly wiped the slobber away from his face, while the rest of his group mates laughed good naturedly. Jin gave him a hug and Namjoon high fived him. Jimin turned towards Yoongi and saw the older had a straight face, but as soon as they locked eyes, Yoongi crossed his arms and the side of his mouth quirked up in a knowing smile.

 

They had many people congratulate them on their way back to their dressing room. They had to head back to Seoul later that night which meant that they had about four hours before they had to get back on the road. Jungkook had come to get him when the manager told him it was time to go visit their families. The managers said they were gonna go in two separate vans because Jungkook’s parents lived a little farther from where Jimin’s family did.

 

“In order to conserve time,” the manager said, “we’re gonna put some of you in the van with Jungkook and the others will go with Jimin. You can choose whichever van you want.”

 

Namjoon stepped forward, “I’ll go with Jungkook. Jin, you wanna come with?”

 

Jin nodded and shrugged, “Sure.”

 

“I’ll go with Jimin,” Taehyung states. Jungkook’s head snaps up slightly, a strange look in his eye, Taehyung turns to face the younger when he clarifies, “To make sure he’ll be okay.”

 

Jimin wanted to be offended by Taehyung’s lack of faith in him, but if he was being honest, he appreciated the boy offering to come with him. It made him feel slightly less nervous.

 

“I’ll go with--” Hoseok started.

 

“Actually, Hoseok, I wanted to talk to you about your lyrics for 24/7=Heaven,” Namjoon starts, “Do you think you could come with us?”

 

Hoseok’s shoulders sag, but he nods his head.

 

The manager claps his hand, “Okay, so then Yoongi will go with Jimin and Taehyung. Great, it’s settled! Let’s go!”

 

Yoongi looked up at the sudden snap decision and looked like he was about to argue for a moment but everyone was already moving towards the vans therefore he had no choice but to go with Jimin and Taehyung. For some reason, Jimin felt like Yoongi was being a bit standoffish towards him and he hoped it was nothing he did. They had just gotten back onto better terms and he didn’t want to go back to any sort of awkwardness with Yoongi; with either Yoongi.

 

Jimin had told their other manager before hand that he wanted to visit his parent’s cafe for a little while first before heading to his brother’s office. It was a weekday, therefore he knew neither his parents nor his brother would be in their respective homes. Instead, they would be at work. And although Jimin didn’t want to disturb them at work, he had no other choice.

 

The car ride over was silent and Jimin could feel the heaviness in the room. Taehyung tried to pump him up for seeing his parents again, but everyone in the van knew exactly how hard this was going to be for him. Taehyung and Yoongi in particular knew how his relationship with his brother was as well.

 

When they pulled up to the road where his parents cafe was, he wasn’t surprised to see that it wasn’t that full. This time wasn’t normal hours for a cafe to be busy and the cafe wasn’t located in a particularly busy part of town either. Jimin felt a swell of an emotion he didn’t know in his chest. His parents from his world had talked before about wanting to open a cafe, but since they had two young children, they knew it wouldn’t be practical. Their lives had ended so young in his world, so they never got a chance to open their own cafe, to follow their dream.

 

But in this world, their sons were grown, and they lived on their own and they had their own cafe to their names. They were healthy and happy. Jimin couldn’t have wished for a better outcome for his parents lives. What would their lives have turned out like if they have lived to this age back in his world? Would they have still opened their own cafe? Would they have grown old and happy? Jimin didn’t know. He hoped so….God, did he hope so.

 

As the van stopped and the manager gave him the go ahead to get out, Jimin found himself starting to sweat. There was a tremor in his hands and he found himself picking at his nails again. He couldn’t move from his seat.

 

“Jimin?” Taehyung called out, “Jimin? Are you gonna get out?”

 

“Huh?” Jimin’s head snaps back to Taehyung and Yoongi who are staring at him in expectation. He looks back and forth between the two and realizes that they are waiting for him to get out of the van.

 

“Uh--I...I, uh--I’m…” Jimin finds himself stuttering again. He wrings his hands, looking back and forth between their faces and out the window at his parents cafe. All of a sudden, a woman walks out from the back room and heads up to the front desk in the cafe. Jimin’s entire body seizes.

 

“It’s--I-I-It’s, oh my god, It’s--” Jimin can’t get any words out of his mouth, he can’t function. His hands are twitching and he can’t sit still anymore. He can feel his anxiety growing, starting in his chest and blooming out towards the rest of his body to the tips of his fingers and the ends of his toes. He couldn’t do this. This was worse than what he felt right before he was about to go onstage and perform for the first time. Why was he so cripplingly nervous about seeing his family?

 

His mom was right there. She was...older but still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was his mother and she was alive and Jimin could feel hot and heavy tears welling in his eyes. She was right there.

 

“Jimin,” Yoongi’s deep voice drawls out for the first time since they had gotten in the car. Jimin’s head snaps to Yoongi, “Are you okay?”

 

“I-I-I-I…” Jimin couldn’t get the words out, his brain was just not sending the correct signals to his muscles anymore, meaning any words he tried to speak would come out an unintelligible garble of sounds.

 

“Do you need us to come inside with you?” Yoongi offers. Taehyung looks surprised at the fact that Yoongi had been the one to offer but he quickly voiced his agreement, stating that they would totally go in with him if he needed the support.

 

Staring at Yoongi’s earnest eyes, Jimin felt a warmth starting from the left side of his chest that spreads throughout the rest of his body in a similar fashion to how the anxiety spread but this time had the opposite effect, now it was calming him down. He felt the anxiety drain from his system and he started to feel like maybe he could actually move his body again.

 

He took a deep shuddering breath in, then exhaled out.

 

“Thank you guys,” Jimin said and smiled. Taehyung smiled widely and hugged him and Yoongi gave him a reassuring nod.

 

“Then let’s go in,” Yoongi said, and with that he wrenched the door open and stepped out, followed by Taehyung. They both stood there waiting for him as Jimin hauled himself out.

 

Their manager decided he would stay in the car and Yoongi walked over to the cafe doors and opened them wide for Taehyung and Jimin to step through. With shaking fingers, Jimin takes a deep breath and steps through, Yoongi and Taehyung walking in behind him. They take a seat at a booth near the window, telling Jimin that they’ll be right there if he needs them. Jimin’s mother had gone back into the back room so Jimin had to wait for her to come back. But then a thought struck him.

 

He’s her son. This was his mother even if she wasn’t necessarily his mother. This woman only knew a single Jimin and as far as she was concerned, that was him, standing right here, in the flesh. So Jimin took a chance.

 

“Hello?” Jimin called out lightly. He cleared his throat and tried again, “Eomma?”

 

At that moment the back door pushed open and a woman walked out wearing an apron and her hair up. She was aged, for sure, but other than that, this woman was the spitting image of his mother. She had the eyes of an angel, his eyes, and the same smile that always used to comfort him. The last time he had seen his mother alive, she only had fear in her eyes--no comfort. And the very last time he had seen his mother, her body was mangled and broken, her skin ashy and gray, her eyes lifeless. And now...now, she was here in front of Jimin, alive and breathing, with the light still bright and shining in her eyes.

 

“Jimin-ah?” his mom called, “Son, is that you?”

 

Jimin could do nothing but nod his head.

 

“Aigoo, my son!” she suddenly threw down the towel that was in her hand and bounded towards him as fast as she could throwing her arms around him in a tight hug. Jimin threw himself into the embrace. He wrapped his arms tightly around her as he let out the most painfully strangled sigh, trying his best not to sob.

 

“Eomma…” Jimin’s eyes were on the brim of spilling tears. He had missed his mom so damn much. He could smell the lemon of her shampoo that she always used to use on her skin. He felt her strong yet gentle arms wrapped around his body and caressing the back of his head at the base of his neck like she always did. He could feel her heartbeat through the embrace and Jimin had never felt such an overwhelming amount of relief before in his life. His mom...his only mother...the woman he loved the most in his entire life was holding him again after Jimin had thought that he had lost her forever. Now she was back and he never wanted to leave her arms again.

 

She pulls back first and cups his cheeks with her soft, calloused hands. Jimin is aware by now that he was actually crying and his mom brought her thumbs up to his cheeks, to wipe them away.

 

“Oh, my baby, look how much you’ve grown! You’re so handsome!” She smiles deeply at him and brings his face to hers to kiss both his cheeks and then wrap him back up in a tight hug once again.

 

“I missed you so much,” she says to him, rocking him like he was a baby. Jimin doesn’t even complain, in fact, he relishes in it. When was he ever going to get this again?

 

“I missed you too, Eomma,” Jimin shudders in a breath as he speaks, “more than you will ever know.”

 

“Jagiya, who was at the do--?” a deep voice calls as a figure walks out the same back room doors that his mom had previously walked through.

 

“Is that our Jiminie?” his father’s voice comes from behind them, as his mother finally pulls away. And there stands his dad, aged considerably just like his mom, but still the same sturdy and strong face he had always looked up to his whole life. His role model and his most trusted confidant. The man who had sacrificed everything for him and his brother and had worked so hard for them to have a good life. The one who always protected his family at all costs...and then Jimin had gotten him killed.

 

He was overcome with guilt with the sight of his dad, but the feeling quickly vanished when he was swept into the arms of his father and he finally felt peace again.

 

“My son! My Jiminie, oh, my boy!” his father crooned as he hugged his son tightly.

 

And Jimin cried. When he had first heard the news of his family passing away, he had been numb. He hadn’t believed it and as a result of the shock, his bodily functions stopped working and he hadn’t cried. By the time he had figured out it was all real, he couldn’t find it in himself to cry because the pain was just too overwhelming. It had killed every emotion in Jimin’s body and crying just wasn’t something a person who was dead inside like him could do.

 

Until Yoongi had brought it back to life. Jimin hadn’t realized it when it happened but slowly he had started to feel more and more around Yoongi and his other friends until the point where he would cry for his parents and his brother and he hadn’t even realized how much he needed it, how much crying had hurt and helped him all at the same time.

 

Now was different. Grief was a strong emotion, but relief...oh, no, the surges of intense relief Jimin felt at getting to hold his parents again, seeing them alive and well, was the most paralyzing emotion Jimin had ever felt in his life and it caused him to completely break down in tears. Violent, fast, ribcage-cracking sobs that didn’t even allow Jimin a second to catch his breath. He couldn’t control it anymore and he cried like he had never cried before. His father held him tight as he did, and whispered in his ears how much he loved him. His mother had come up behind them and joined in the hug and kissed his shoulder and his temple several times in attempts to calm him down. It just made Jimin hold onto them tighter.

 

“I-I- l-l-love-e y-you g-guys so-o--” Jimin tried to get out through the tears but it wasn’t coming out right. His parents just whispered to him that they loved him too and held him until he calmed down.

 

When he finally stopped the onslaught of tears running down his face, he pulled away and truly looked at them for the first time. They were real. They were right there. And Jimin was with them. This was real. What he had been hoping and praying for for so long was finally his and he was so thankful, he didn’t even know how to handle the emotions he was feeling right now.

 

“It really has been a long time hasn’t it, son?” his father asks, his hair back. Jimin nods, a sad smile forming on his face.

 

“Has work been going well for you? How’s the band?” his mother questions, looking over to the side of the cafe where she spots Yoongi and Taehyung sitting patiently, trying and failing to look like they weren’t paying attention to the family in the corner.

 

Jimin answers, telling them about his work and going overseas and performing in Busan that night. Half way through a new set of questions about his work, his mom stops and invites the two of them to come over and sit with them, stating it was impolite for her to just ignore them.

 

“Oh, no, we couldn’t intrude on a family moment,” Yoongi tries to deny.

 

“Nonsense,” his father argues, “you boys are family. All of Jimin’s bandmates are family to us. Please sit down.”

 

Jimin feels oddly touched by his father’s words. Reluctantly, Taehyung and Yoongi sit down and his parents continue to ask them all questions. Jimin really wants to ask them if they know anything about the problem between him and his brother, but he knows it would be improper to ask in front of Taehyung and Yoongi, honorary family members or not. After a short time, Jimin’s father stands up, excusing himself to the back room to check on some food he was actually in the middle of cooking.

 

Jimin stands up and excuses himself as well, stating he’d be right back. Jimin’s mother stands up as well, asking if she could get Taehyung and Yoongi anything to eat, for they must be hungry from having just got back from a performance. That was the conversation Jimin left so he didn’t hear their replies. Instead he made it into the back room and found his father behind a large stove, stirring a large spoon in an equally large pot of stew.

 

“I’m making kimchi jjigae,” his father informs him, “your favorite.”

 

Jimin’s heart swells with love to the point where it almost breaks.

 

“It smells amazing, Appa,” Jimin says in his quiet voice, trying not to break out into another round of sobs.

 

“Of course it does!” his father exclaims, “It’s because I made it especially with my son in mind. Food always tastes better when it’s made with the intention of giving it to a loved one.”

 

“Thank you, Appa,” Jimin smiles to himself, going over to the pot and tasting the bit his father had held out to him to try, “It tastes amazing.”

 

“Aigoo,” his father coos, patting Jimin’s face with a wide smile, “my son is so handsome. Have you lost weight? You shouldn’t because you look best with a little meat on your bones, you look healthy! Are you eating well in Seoul? Is that company feeding you? Are they letting you rest well enough because if not I will come down there and--”

 

“Appa,” Jimin cuts him off, “I’m fine. I’m eating and resting plenty. I enjoy my job so you don’t have to worry.”

 

“Good!” his father exclaims, “nothing but the best for my son! I have the best sons in the world, I tell you. Did you see the picture of your group your mother hung on the wall outside? So many girls come in and tell me ‘Halabeoji, your son is very handsome’ and I say to them, ‘I know! He gets it from me! The talent and the looks!’”

 

His father breaks into adorable chuckles and Jimin swears he could live on just hearing that sound alone, no need for water or air.

 

“I’m glad I’ve made you proud,” Jimin tells him earnestly, hoping his father understands just how much his words mean to him.

 

“Of course,” his father beams at him, “I’m so proud of both my sons.”

 

Jimin smiles again but it’s hindered by another thought.

 

“Appa,” Jimin starts, “Do you...um...do you know why Hyung won’t talk to me?”

 

His father looks up with a start. He fidgets nervously with a dish drying towels.

 

“Ah, well...the thing is,” his father rings his hands, a nervous habit Jimin now finally knows where he got it from, “to be honest, son, I don’t know. Every time me or your mother would try to ask him, he would tell us it was nothing. He doesn’t wish to discuss it, and who am I to go against his wishes?”

 

“So you really don’t know?” Jimin looks down with a sigh, “Not even if it was because of me? Because of something Jim--I did?”

 

His father shakes his head with a sorry expression on his face.

 

“I’m sorry, son, I truly don’t know,” his father says.

 

“I’m going to see him after this,” Jimin finds himself blurting. His father looks at him.

 

“Really?”

 

Jimin nods his head, “Yes. I need to get to the bottom of this so that I can try to fix it. If it’s something I did, then I need to know so I can make things right.”

 

His dad sets his towel down and walks over to Jimin, taking his face in between his hands.

 

“I am so proud of you, Jimin-ah,” he starts, “as much as I love your hyung, he has not taken the steps to be the bigger man in all of this. But you have. And for that, I have to say that I am so lucky to have you as my son.”

 

Tears are threatening to spill out of Jimin’s eyes again. His father gives him a kiss on his forehead and pulls away.

 

“I know you can get through to him, Jimin-ah,” his father states resolutely, “I believe you can make this family whole again.”

 

***************

 

In the end, it had been harder for Jimin to leave than it had been to go in. He had hugged and kissed his parents goodbye a million times and promised to call a million more before they were finally able to leave the cafe. Jimin’s father’s words kept ringing in his head making him feel a bit pressured, but if he was true to himself, all he felt in his heart was love. He had finally gotten to see his parents again and he finally felt like that part of himself that had died had finally come back to life.

 

But alas, he still had another problem to work through first. His dongsaeng. No, his hyung. He had to make things right, or at least figure out what had happened between them in order to think of a way to make things better. Jimin didn’t have a plan here except to go inside the office, ask (or plead with) his brother to talk to him, to hear him out.

 

Taehyung and Yoongi had asked if he was okay to go into his brother’s office by himself and offered to go in with him again, but Jimin had refused. He had stated that he had actually managed to see his parents without a problem so maybe this time, he could handle meeting his older brother for the first time alone. Nevertheless, Yoongi and Taehyung had decided they would still come in and wait in the miniature lobby outside of the office. When Jimin had walked up to the receptionist and asked if his brother was in the office, he half expected her to flat out deny him entry and make him go away. Instead, she picked up the phone and called into his brother’s office, stating that an important person was here to talk to him.

 

And so, Jimin was let inside. With one last glance towards Taehyung and Yoongi, Jimin squared his shoulders and walked in. His brother was standing, looking out his window and on the phone, with his back to Jimin. He was talking to someone in a professional tone, and Jimin didn’t want to interrupt so he stood there silently. He took a good look at the back profile of his younger brother now turned hyung. He was a great deal taller than Jimin, a fact which made him kind of bitter, and he had a slim body frame. His hair was brown, not his natural hair color but similar enough to Jimin’s own back in his home universe.

 

“Alright, thank you so much, and have a good night….Yes….and the same to you. Alright….goodbye,” and with that his brother hung up the phone and turned around and bent down to put it back on his desk.

 

“Sorry about that,” his brother said politely, still not noticing who exactly he was talking to, “how can I help--”

 

And when he looked up, all the cheerfulness that might’ve been in his tone when he was talking on the phone, was gone. Instead, the smile on his face dropped and his eyes hardened. Jimin was taken aback by the sight of his brother. He had come fully prepared to see his fully grown brother, but he hadn’t expected it to be so surreal.

 

It was exactly his younger brother, but his face was different, more mature, aged with knowledge and experience. He was handsome, despite the frown on his face, and the ache in Jimin’s chest started to reappear. This was what he had deprived his brother of. The opportunity to grow up. He would never see his brother like this again, except for in this world. He wouldn’t get to see his graduation or his wedding or his children. He had thoroughly destroyed his brother’s life, and even though he was still here in this universe, Jimin had still managed to ruin everything.

 

“Uh...Hi, h-hyung,” Jimin stuttered out, “How are--?”

 

“What are you doing here, Jimin?” his brother spat out, interrupting him in the middle of his pleasantries.

 

“Uh, I was here visiting mom and dad and I thought I’d stop bye and say hi to you--” Jimin starts.

 

“How many times have I told you that we should not speak anymore? Huh?” his brother interrupts again, crossing his arms tightly across his chest, his brow furrowing, “I told you that any relationship between us was not possible anymore and what do you do? You continue to be selfish and keep coming back to remind me.”

 

Not knowing what else to say, Jimin just apologizes, “I’m sorry, hyung. For whatever I did, I’m truly sorry, I didn’t--”

 

“Excuse me?” his brother’s voice picks up in volume, “Are you saying you don’t remember what you did?”

 

“No,” Jimin pleads, “It’s not that, I just don’t know what exactly happened--”

 

“You’re saying that after all this time, you still don’t know what you did?” his brother scoffs darkly, “Are you ing serious?”

 

“Hyung, I know you’re mad, but if you could just tell what I did then--”

 

“You know exactly what you did, Jimin!” his brother yells, his temper flying out of control, “I told you I wanted to keep our relationship a secret and you outed us to her parents!”

 

What? Jimin thinks, his relationship with who?

 

“Wait, hyung, I don’t know what you’re talking about--”

 

“Oh, don’t play stupid, Jimin, it’s not a good look for you,” Jihyo spits out, “we were waiting to tell her parents until I got a job but once you ing told them they made her immediately get married to some abusive ! She had to stay with him for two years before she could finally get a divorce!”

 

Jimin’s head was spinning. So that was what happened. His brother had apparently trusted him with some information and he had betrayed him. Not only that, but...he had ruined someone else’s life in the process as well. But what about Jihyo’s wife now? Who was she? Did she know about this?

 

“But what about your wife?” Jimin asks, trying to ask any question he could to get a full picture of what happened.

 

His brother started to laugh, a scary dark laugh. He moved away from the front of his desk to the chair behind it, sitting down and placing his face in his hands.

 

“You know how it is Jimin,” Jihyo starts, “divorcees in this country are never treated kindly. They shunned her, her town and her parents. She couldn’t get a job, her friends abandoned her, everything all because she wanted to leave an arranged marriage with someone who hit her because he thought his money entitled him to it.”

 

Jimin stared at him in horror. He...had caused that?

 

“I was the only one still willing to marry her, and that was because I still loved her despite her being divorced and being separated from her for two years,” his brother stated.

 

“Wait,” Jimin breathed in trying to find a way to ask what he was thinking, “so you’re saying...she’s your wife now?”

 

Jihyo nodded, “Yes, she is, no thanks to you, and we have our twins now, but I still don’t want you in my life.”

 

“But--”

 

“No ‘buts’ Jimin, because of you both of us were put through the worst years of our lives and that is unforgivable!” his hyung bellows, standing up from his chair and starting to pack up his briefcase, “Now please leave I have a very important trip to Seoul that I have to get ready for!”

 

“Hyung, I didn’t know that happened! It was a long time ago, right? I didn’t know--”

 

“NO, JIMIN!” his brother yells harshly, causing Jimin to jerk and take a step back. “I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU!”

 

Jimin can feel the panic start to rise in his throat. His eyes are starting to fill with tears and his head was pounding.

 

“You have never done anything right! All you do is ruin lives! You are a good-for-nothing, useless, annoying son of a--”

 

“HEY!” someone called out, interrupting his brothers screams and grasping Jimin’s hand. Jimin looks up to see Yoongi right next to him and Taehyung standing by the door. “You do not talk to him like that. All he was doing was trying to apologize and you are doing nothing but being a selfish jackass who won’t forgive his brother despite still getting what he wanted in the end.”

 

Yoongi tugs his hand forward, headed towards the door, “Come on, Jimin, let’s go.”

 

Jimin can do nothing but let Yoongi tug him out the door. His brother just stands in stunned silence, surprised that someone else had popped in and started to fight back.

 

“Don’t call him until you’ve taken your head out of your ,” is the last thing Yoongi says to Jimin’s brother before he slams the door and Taehyung takes his other hand as the both of them lead him out of the office building and back into the van.

 

“Jimin, are you okay?” Taehyung asks him, worriedly, “We could hear everything your brother was saying. He was yelling so loudly.”

 

“I’m okay,” Jimin says numbly. Even after trying his best to apologize to his brother, he still wouldn’t forgive him. It wasn’t even Jimin’s doing, but he still felt as if this was all his fault. His brother was right. All he did was ruin lives. And if wasn’t him personally, then it was another version of him. He didn’t deserve to have all that he had. Not when all he did in return was kill the people who loved him and ruin the lives of the ones who were still alive. Why did Tae and Yoongi even want to help him, he was nothing but a--

 

“Hey, Jimin, stop,” Yoongi let’s go of his hand in order to grab a hold of his face. It was warm, just like when his parents did it, but this gesture was completely different from anything his parents ever did. The look in Yoongi’s eye was fierce, protective...downright possessive.

 

“Do not let what your brother said get to you, ok?” Yoongi started, “Yes, you made a mistake, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be forgiven.”

 

“Yoongi-hyung, it wasn’t even this Jimin who made the mistake,” Taehyung points out, “It was our Jimin.”

 

“Either way,” Yoongi stays adamant, “You did not deserve to be yelled at like that. So I’m telling you right now, Park Jimin, you do not ruin lives, you are not good-for-nothing or useless. You are an amazing, important, selfless person and if your brother can’t see that then him!”

 

The van was silent for the longest time. All Jimin could do was stare at Yoongi as Taehyung’s gaze flickered back and forth between Yoongi and Jimin with his eyebrows raised. Something seemed to click in his head before he settles back down into his seat to just watch everything unfold.

 

Jimin didn’t know how to feel anymore. He was so confused. He felt like someone was continuously punching his head at the same time that someone was caressing it. Everything hurt so badly but at the same time, he felt amazing. He felt like the whole world was his. He felt so many conflicting emotions at the same time that all of a sudden something in his mind shut off and the only thing he knew was one thing.

 

He couldn’t go back home yet. He needed to stay here and fix things with his brother, even if it meant he never slept again.

 

********

 

Jimin stayed awake through the whole ride back to Seoul. He ignored anything and everything Yoongi and Taehyung tried to say to make him feel better. He stayed awake throughout the radio recording they had in Seoul, letting his teammates do all the talking and when they went back to their dorms everyone else went straight to bed while Jimin just pretended to sleep. When the clock hit two in the morning, Jimin got up and left his shared room and went into the living room. He sat in the silence doing nothing but thinking. When his thoughts suddenly became too much, Jimin took out his phone and surfed the net, reading about himself and BTS. He even looked up his brother and then a thought hit him.

 

His brother was going to be in Seoul for a business meeting tomorrow. He just had to find out where and when and then he could go see him and apologize again! And maybe this time, his brother will listen and accept his apology! After everything Yoongi had said to him, surely he must see reason by now!

 

The thought gave Jimin a bit of energy and it helped him to stay awake for the rest of the night--with a little help from various energy drinks he found in their fridge.

 

Jimin was still awake after having gotten himself ready for the day, by the time everyone else wakes up and files into the kitchen.

 

“You’re up early,” Jin comments and sits down to eat something. Jimin just shrugs, not really feeling like saying anything at the moment. Jin looks at him strangely, like he wants to ask something, but doesn’t and Jimin is grateful.

 

Namjoon comes out of his room that he shares with Jungkook, groaning.

 

“Looks like we have another day full of schedules today,” he informs all the members who had also slowly made their way out of their rooms. There was a collective groan, but none of them expected Jimin to shoot out of his seat.

 

“Are you sure there’s no free time at all?” Jimin questions, a lift in his voice. Namjoon shakes his head.

 

“We’re booked solid all day today,” he informs them.

 

“,” Jimin mutters under his breathe as he walks out of the room. The boys still in the living room and kitchen share a collective worried look.

 

“Well, that was weird,” Hoseok comments.

 

*******

 

Later that day when they were waiting in the dressing room, Jimin manages to call his brother’s assistant. He tries to reason with her and tell her that he really needed the information about his brother’s meeting in Seoul because he needed to try apologizing again.

 

“I’m really sorry, but I don’t think that’s a good idea, especially after yesterday,” his assistant says.

 

“Please,” Jimin begs, “If I can just get my apology through to him, then I can fix everything and our family can finally be whole again. Not only would this make me and my parents happy, but I know that my brother would feel immensely better if this gets resolved too. But I can’t do this without your help. Please.”

 

His assistant is quiet for a moment, thinking, but then she eventually gives in and gives Jimin the information he needed. Turns out that his brother would be in Seoul for the next three days, meaning that Jimin had some time to talk to his brother if he could just manage to get out of these schedules and find the hotel his brother was staying at.

 

Of course, this ended up failing. Jimin ends up staying awake for two more whole days and he still isn’t able to get away to talk to his brother. Not only is he anxious about missing his window with his brother, but staying awake is starting to take a toll on Jimin’s body.

 

His entire body is buzzing with borrowed energy and he starts to twitch unconsciously to the point that all his friends keep asking him if he’s okay and tell him that he looks really tired.

 

“I’m fine,” Jimin tells them, “I’m not tired.”

 

“Are you sure?” Jungkook asks, “because I haven’t seen you sleep at all during the waiting periods and not to mention our Jimin hasn’t come back yet.”

 

“Are you saying you don’t want me here?” Jimin snaps, a bit of offense coming out in his tone.

 

“No,” Jin says, “that’s not what we’re saying at all, but usually you only stay with us for a day at a time and then our Jimin comes back. So we were curious as to why that hasn’t happened yet.”

 

“Oh,” Jimin mumbles, rubbing his hands yet again, “I don’t know, ok?”

 

Jimin doesn’t even buy his own words, so why would any of his friends buy it? Taehyung and Yoongi in particular look the most suspicious. Jimin does his best to avoid them.

 

“Hey, Jimin-ah,” Namjoon says coming around the corner, “we have a couple of hours with no schedule after this performance. You seemed to be a bit on edge these past couple of days and it seemed that you really needed to go do something. So, once we finish this performance, manager-nim said he could take you somewhere if you want.”

 

Jimin’s heart soars and he stands up to hug Namjoon with a huge smile on his face, “Really?”

 

Namjoon chuckles and states his affirmation and Jimin pushes away from him. What he doesn’t expect is the sudden dizzy spell he gets from pulling away too fast. He stumbles slightly, the world spinning around in his eyes and two hands grasp onto his shoulders and steady him.

 

Namjoon looks at him with serious eyes, “Whoa, Jimin, are you okay? You look a little sick.”

 

“I’m fine,” Jimin says yet again, “Let’s just get ready for this performance, yeah?”

 

Namjoon nods his head, “Yeah, let’s do that.”

 

The older turns to leave when Jimin calls out his name one more time.

 

“Yeah?” Namjoon asks as he turns back around.

 

“Thanks again,” Jimin says with an appreciative smile on his face. Namjoon returns the smile sweetly and then leaves.

 

The performance comes soon and Jimin goes on stage yet again and gives it all he has. Once again he gets the rush of his life and he finds his heart yearning for the stage. Maybe this really was what Jimin was supposed to do with his life. He was meant to be on the stage performing; singing and dancing with his friends. Maybe this really was his purpose.

 

Jimin is backstage with the rest of his bandmates when it happens.

 

They’re filming a bangtan bomb, thanking fans and just overall goofing off. Normally, the Jimin of this universe would have been front and center playing with Taehyung, Hoseok and Jungkook but this time he was hanging back. Taehyung brought the camera around to him for a few seconds before turning the camera over to Namjoon, Jin and Yoongi for their turns respectively.

 

Jimin smiles fondly at them but in reality he was anxious for them to get cleaned up so that he could leave and go to his brother. He didn’t tell Yoongi or Taehyung about his plans because he didn’t want them to worry about him again. He knew that if they knew about his plan they would want to come along with him again, and Jimin didn’t think that was a good idea this time. He knew he could handle himself this time. His mind was set and once it was, there was no getting him off it.

 

So when he went to pack his things up, naturally he picked up his phone to check it quickly before they leave. His eyesight was becoming a bit blurred but once he furrowed his brow to concentrate he was able to see the notifications on his phone. What he sees causes his already fast beating heart to pick up ten fold.

 

There are twenty missed calls from his mother, along with six voice mails and a few text messages telling Jimin to call her back as soon as possible. Jimin listens through the first couple of voicemails and finds that they consist of the same thing, his mother telling him in a scared and panicking, almost sobbing voice to call her as soon as possible. Something has happened to his father.

 

Jimin’s head is pounding and he’s starting to get more and more dizzy but that doesn’t stop him from punching in his mom’s number and calling her.

 

“Jimin-ah?!” his mother calls out his name as soon as he gets through, he can hear crying noises through the other line, “Jimin-ah, oh my god.”

 

“Eomma, what is it? What happened?!” Jimin asks, his voice rising and his head thumping, “What happened to Appa?!”

 

“Jimin-ah, I tried to call your brother, but he wasn’t picking up,” she says shakily, “your father, he...he had a h-heart attack. He’s in the hospital right now and the doctors are saying they don’t know if he will make it or not.”

 

The phone slips from Jimin’s hands and lands with a loud crack at Jimin’s feet. His entire body sways and he has to latch his hand quickly onto the chair in front of him. He no longer has control over the muscles in his neck and his head lulls from his side to side, he has to lean forward and push all his weight onto the chair before he falls backward.

 

“Jimin, are you okay?” Hoseok is the first one to reach him, steadying him. “Why are you crying?”

 

It’s only once Hoseok points it out that Jimin realizes his face is wet and the reason his vision was completely blurred was because it was obscured by a film of darkened tears. They are falling down his face fast and Jimin can’t even lift his hands to wipe them away from fear of falling.

 

A sharp pain bursts from his head and Jimin is suddenly trying to force himself to breathe because he is having a hard time doing it naturally. His inhales and exhales are coming fast and strained and now Hoseok isn’t the only one surrounding him now. Now, all the members were around him asking if he was okay and what the phone call was about.

 

“My A-appa, h-he,” Jimin was hyperventilating now, “h-heart-t att...att-tack--”

 

Then another stab of pain hits him, this time shooting straight through his head like a lightening bolt to his brain. He doubles over clutching his head. He lets out a shriek of pain and almost falls over, having lost his grip on the chair, but someone catches him.

 

They lower him to the ground as another shot of pain races through him and his body lurches forward and he screams.

 

“Hyung, what’s happening!” Taehyung screams to Jin, Namjoon and Yoongi who all look panicked and like they have no idea what to do either. There is nothing but fear on all of their faces as Yoongi screams at the random people around them to call an ambulance. Jimin was panting now, his arms wrapped around his head clutching it in pain.

 

“My appa,” Jimin mumbles, now completely delirious, “not again.”

 

“What’s he saying?” Jungkook asks.

 

“Shhh!” Jin shushes him.

 

“Appa!” Jimin cries, “Eomma! No, not again!”

 

Behind Jimin’s eyes he sees flashes of everything. A car speeding by and flying off the side of the bridge. The light going out his mother’s eyes. The bus ride from Busan to Seoul. The rain. Meeting his friends for the first time, meeting Yoongi, hearing his music. The time on the beach and holding hands. But now it’s not just his life he sees.

 

He sees growing up in a home with his hyung. He sees practicing and practicing waiting for the opportunity to audition for an entertainment company. He sees finally getting the opportunity to audition and getting in. He sees meeting all of his bandmates for the first time and being so nervous but eventually growing to love them like they were his own brother. And he sees his brother suddenly stop talking to him. He honestly didn’t know what he did. The two families had been eating together, his brother’s girlfriend’s parents and his own. They had been talking about the future and Jimin had mentioned thoughtlessly that he hoped that his brother and his girlfriend stayed together for a long time. They were family friends, he didn’t know that they were against the idea of their daughter dating his brother. Little did he know that his one thoughtless comment had cost them their relationship.

 

His eyes are closed together so tightly and all he can hear is the freakouts of his friends around him. But now, there isn’t just six boys he can hear freaking out. Now, he hears even more voices, double that amount. They all sound the same, familiar but they are talking about completely different things. It all starts to sound like white noise in Jimin’s ears but it’s getting louder. Louder and louder so much that Jimin practically goes deaf. The visions behind his closed eyes are coming faster and faster, visions of a life he never lived, of things he never did. Not him, but someone else, with his body and his identity. The voices in his head slowly disintegrate until there is only one besides his own.

 

His body freezes, the pain stopping at the same time that the voices and the visions do. His eyes snap open.

 

No longer is he alone in his head.