A/n: not edited.

Junmyeon woke up with a jolt.

A nightmare again.

He slowly sat up on the bed and winced when the dizziness suddenly clouding him. His head felt heavy and his eyes felt sore.He had been crying again all night and he doesn't even know when he had fall asleep. But judging from the wetness on his pillow, probably not even an hours before. But, sleep barely helping him now that the nightmares suddenly started haunting him. 

Junmyeon don't know when it's started but probably on the second day after that incident. The same dreams every night where Sehun show up in front of his apartment and tell him how he really hated Junmyeon for everything that he had done. For stealing his daddy, for betraying his trust, and for ruined their family. It's even worse when Yoona and Minho also showing up after that, mocking him with nasty words.

! Shameless!

Junmyeon shook his head. 

I hate you uncle!! I hate you!!

Junmyeon shook his head harder when Sehun's hatred voice in his dreams, echoing in his mind. He took a deep breath, trying to forget it and then sighed. It's been four days since that day and Junmyeon had been hiding in his room all this times. He ignored all of Jongdae and Kyungsoo's attempts to comfort him or make him leave his room. He knew they were worried sick of him but Junmyeon just want to be alone. Hell, he even ignored Kris. His boyfriend had always visited or call everyday to check on him but Junmyeon avoided him every time. He knew he shouldn't be a coward by avoiding the problems but truth was, he just afraid. Afraid that things won't remain the same anymore. Afraid that he'll lose another happiness. Afraid that he'll be alone again.

He was paranoid.

Alone in his dark room, he do thought a lot these four days and most of the thoughts coming on his mind wasn't pleasant at all. Junmyeon tried to be positive and encouraged himself to fight for his happiness but the moment he thought he could do that, it's swept away by a waves of negatives thought immediately. Plus,the nightmares he had every night , doesn't make it any better. At last, Junmyeon lost again over his feelings' battle, and continued to cried over his own misery. 

He was useless. Weak.

So today, he already made a decision. He was sure this is the best decision for all of them. 

He will let Kris go.

He will walk out from the Wu's family life. 

Forever.

---

Jongdae was really surprised when he saw his brother walk out from his room , already clad in his usual work's attires. To be honest, he thought Junmyeon will at least avoiding them for a week. But still, he was happy. The thought that maybe finally his brother decided to fight for his happiness make  him relief but once he saw Junmyeon's face, his heart felt oddly scared. 

Junmyeon looked sullen, he looked as if his soul already left his body. His eyes was blank, without any hints of emotions in it. His cheeks sunken a little and his steps a little unsteady. It's like there's barely any energy left in his body and it was proven true when Jongdae pounced on him, hugging his brother tightly. 

Junmyeon almost lost his balance but Jongdae quickly hold him steadily. He grimaced when he noticed how his brother already lost his weight a bit by just a few days. Junmyeon never ate anything that he send into his room, anyway. 

Stupid hyung. He always had a worst way to handle his problems. 

"You need to eat hyung. Come, I'll make a breakfast for you." Jongdae said before grabbed Junmyeon's hands and started to dragged him to the kitchen. The older clearly want to protest but maybe realized he wasn't even had energy to argue at that moment so he just let Jongdae dragging him away. The younger was glad. 

During breakfast, Jongdae didn't talk much. Aside from asking if his brother is okay, which Junmyeon just replied with a weak nod, he didn't ask anything more. Still, he couldn't help but sending his brother a few worry glances every few minutes, but Jongdae keep his mouth shut anyway. Junmyeon took that as a chance to stay quiet too and the younger knew Junmyeon probably wasn't ready to talk so he'll wait.

After thanks Jongdae for the breakfast, Junmyeon quickly make his way to the door. Jongdae followed him, silently watched as the older put on his shoes but as time ticking, he couldn't kept himself silence any longer, so he quickly grabbed his brother's hand and Junmyeon a little surprised. 

"Are you really okay, hyung?"

"Do I looked like I'm not?-" Junmyeon's voice sounded a little too calm and Jongdae didn't like it."I'm going to work,  Dae. I'm fine now."

"Don't lie, hyung. I know you. You looked oddly calm right now. Kim Junmyeon that I knew wouldn't be this ing calm! You should still crying in your room right now, hyung! You wouldn't be fine this quick and now you said that you are going to work like damn nothing has happened!!" Jongdae yelled in frustration.  

But, Junmyeon just smiled. "Really. I'm okay, Dae. Don't worry."

Jongdae shook his head. That smile. That ing damn smile. It was the smile that Jongdae hate the most. The same smile his brother gave when people asked if they were going to be okay after their parents gone. The same smile he flashed when people gave them sympathy look on their parents funeral, the same smile he gave when he returned from works without any bodyguard's job offers,  the same smile when he decided to move on from his first heartbreak.

That ing smile that clearly said he was not okay at all. The smile that hide his tears.

"You're lying, hyung.." Jongdae scowl. 

"I'm going to be late, Dae. We'll talk later." Junmyeon clearly avoiding the subject, as he grabbed his car key and left the apartment before his brother could stop him.

Jongdae's worried eyes followed his brother's f