Birds flew by, cawing and crying as they dipped into the waters for fish. The sun glowed powerfully before dimming and coloring the sky in shades of pink and orange then blue and green. Daylight was coming to an end. Jongin was becoming hungry but he couldn’t up and leave without Namjoo, who now sat there quietly just staring at the body of water.

Jongin turned at the sound of a car and watched it drive nearer before stopping. The car door opened and someone hurriedly walked toward them. Jongin’s lips fell apart when he saw a man wrap a sweater around Namjoo’s shoulders and help her stand up. Quickly jumping to his feet, wondering when Namjoo had called Kyung he walked over to them intent on separating them.

“Why are you here?” he interrogated Kyung whose arm was around Namjoo.

“I’m taking Namjoo home,” Kyung answered.

“I will,” Jongin insisted, “so leave.”

He glanced at Namjoo who refused to meet his eyes. Suddenly turning Namjoo walked away toward Kyung’s car, opened the door, and slipped into the passenger’s seat. A wave of dissatisfaction sped through him before he turned to meet Kyung’s gaze.  Then he too, turned and walked toward his car. The car started onto the road, disappearing down the street.

~~~~~

“Slow down,” Kyung worried from the side.

They were back in Namjoo’s apartment after she’d persuaded him to buy some beer for her. Now she was drinking them like there was no tomorrow.

“You work tomorrow. I don’t think this is the time to be drinking,” he said then listened to her hold back a cry and shed tears again. “What is it? Why are you crying again?”

He hesitated before placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“It’s ok, Namjoo.”

“It’s not ok,” Namjoo cried. “You don’t know.”

He listened to her bellow and sob. He always felt the most helpless when Namjoo cried. Nothing he said ever made her feel better and he could only always be there. Sometimes he wondered what Jongin would do when she cried and if he knew, he would try to do the same. But Jongin was never there. Not two years ago.

“What’s wrong?” he tried. “You’re going to wear yourself out and get sick again if you keep this up.”

“I feel so sorry,” she sobbed, “towards Hwan, for making him run with me. He’s a son. They could have raised him, someone could have raised him and given him a better life.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked. “Who else could give him a better life than you?”

Namjoo let out a groan, “I’m so frustrated, Kyung. Why did I come back?”

“Because,” the word trailed out without his meaning to, “because…because there’s a point where we have to stop running from everything.” he watched her shed some more tears before asking what he’d been meaning to ask, “Are you crying because of Jongin?”

“He found my aunt,” Namjoo’s red eyes burned into the table. “He’s going to sue her.”

“What?” he gasped.

Namjoo cried harshly and pressed a hand to her forehead, “She lives in this really big house, she has the money someone sent for me and Hwan. She robbed Hwan of his good life and I didn’t even know. I hate the fact that Hwan suffered alongside me. I’m so angry that this happened. I’m so angry that I can’t change anything. And I hate it even more that Jongin is trying to help me.”

Kyung’s eyes dropped to the can of beer that suddenly looked really good. Peering back at Namjoo he asked what he most dreaded, “Do you love him?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you think of him when you eat?” Kyung asked. “When you go to bed, you can’t sleep because of him, and when you wake up you think of him. You miss him even when you constantly see him. Is it like that?”

Her sobbing quieted and her red eyes landed on his.

“I think of you like that,” Kyung softly said. “I think love is a different thing for everyone, and that’s why we all treat it differently. Maybe Jongin still loves you and so he came to look for you instead of waiting to meet coincidentally. Your love for him may be getting a divorce because you want him to live differently. Hwan’s love for you is protecting you from Jongin. And mine for you, is sitting here with you because I don’t want you hurting alone.”

“I’m sorry, Kyung.” Her eyes welled up with tears again.

Extending his arms out he pulled her into a comforting hug. “Please move on, Namjoo. You have to accept what happened and walk pass it. You’re not alone. Hwan and I are both here, walking with you. Don’t stay in the dark too long. You have to believe that it will be ok.”

~~~~~

Jongin sighed and stared at himself in the mirror. The scratch marks Namjoo had left were visibly red on his neck but the throbbing had become numb compared how she’d left him earlier…again.

What now, he wanted to know. What was he supposed to do for her now?

Pulling a clean shirt on he walked out and stared at the bedroom that was now his alone. He’d made Namjoo cry today and it wasn’t a good feeling but he wished he could have gotten her to come home with him.

Nearing the closet he pulled the door open and stared at the dresses Namjoo had chosen to leave behind when she walked out that night. He hadn’t had the heart to remove a trace of her from the room, believing she had died because of his childishness that night. If she could wear one of these dresses again, how pretty she might look. His heart filled with nostalgia and he ended up squeezing the cloth into his hand.

To share a room with her again was one of his biggest desires but it was so difficult. The gorge between them had grown over the years. If he could cross to the other side and touch her heart again, he would do anything…maybe even sew his own mouth shut so he would stop saying mean things to hurt her.

Closing the closet he turned toward the door and walked out. Maybe going outside would help freshen his mind and ease this loneliness he was phasing through. The sky was starry, glittering in silver and white beside the huge full moon. If Namjoo was looking out the window she would be gazing at the same sky. The thought was slightly comforting. No matter how far Namjoo went from him, the sky would connect them and would always be the same wherever she went.

All of a sudden he thought of his father and wondered if he was still here, what he would think of this situation. Would he a finger into his face, tell him, “I told you so. You should have listened to me.” or would the old man tell him to persevere because life always moved on without the dead. Would he say, “Accept it, get over it. You’re a man now.”

“Your mother is a lonely woman, Jongin. It’s time we start making up for our mistakes.”

Tilting his head back he stared up at the stars. Had the old man known his mother’s secret? Back then he had been bewildered by the man’s quick agreement to let him marry Namjoo when he hadn’t been approving of her. To make up for his mother’s loss, her suffering, and the loss of her kids had his father wanted him to right the wrong he had committed by bringing Namjoo’s mother into their home?

Jongin turned when he heard a sound and spotted his mother sitting at the table in the yard with a shawl wrapped around her. Slowly treading toward her he joined her at the table. The fragile woman’s eyes were a glittering resemblance of the starry sky. She looked far at peace and saddened like the rest of the household, and like Namjoo.

“Mom,” he called.

A small smile cradled the woman’s lips, “Isn’t it pretty?”

“It is.” He half-heartedly answered. Then said again, “Mom.”

“Yes?”

“Your husband’s sister, Kim Hyeja,” he said, “I found her.”

Her lids fluttered, lowered, and then she turned to look at him.

“I want to sue her.”

Like Namjoo, the woman stared at him blankly. No reaction at all.

“For what she did; stealing your money, keeping it from Namjoo and Joohwan, and not looking for them when they ran away,” Jongin explained, “I want to punish her.”

Turning away, still sadly smiling the woman said, “Why punish her? It’s already happened and can’t be changed.”

“It still can!” he pressed on. “I can still make a difference.”

“It won’t make me feel better,” she quietly told, eyes gazing far off into the distance as if she wanted to be up there with the stars. “And it won’t bring Namjoo back.”

“So get married. If you believe you can love her the rest of your life, I’ll allow you to. Marriage, Jongin, is not the same as when you’re dating. When you exchange rings, you’re giving your life to her – that girl. You’re promising her that you’ll do all you can in your power to make her happy and that promise is never to be broken. If I don’t make it to your wedding, promise me one thing Jongin. That this marriage isn’t a mistake. That you’ll do whatever you can to hold it together. If you’re confident you want to spend the rest of your life with her, don’t ever give up.”

He had promised. He had sworn to his father. He had been confident and he had believed in himself. For the rest of his life, Namjoo was the one and he was satisfied with just that. Right now…right now…he needed Namjoo to mend his mom’s heart, to make Jaegeun the happy little boy he should be, and to take her spot as his wife so he could fend off Yeji’s threats. If the marriage really fell apart, how could he face his father in the afterlife? Whatever thorns existed between him and Namjoo, he would have to dig out and face head on even if he got pricked and bled. The things that had happened in her life in the past two years were the most crucial to bonding with her again. That would be his resolution.

“Mom,” Jongin merely felt his heart tremble, “what if…what if Namjoo is alive?”

He had to believe that Namjoo’s mother would help him too.

“Why are you talking about her this way?” the woman asked. “I thought you don’t like talking about her.”

“Namjoo,” his breath shook, “is alive, mom. That night she didn’t go to the hostel. Mom, Namjoo is alive.”

The woman’s gaze drooped to the grass then abruptly turned to him wide-eyed. “Jongin…”

“I’m saying,” desperation took him over, “Namjoo is alive. Don’t you want her home?”

The woman’s eyes quickly welled up with tears. “Jongin…what are you saying?”

Staring at her with the same emotions boiling over, he nodded. “Namjoo’s alive, mom. Lets bring her home.”

A cry traveled up his mother’s throat and her hands shook as tears rushed out like an open faucet. Years of misery and relief washed out together in shock as she sobbed horrendously. Getting out of his chair he moved around the table and took the broken woman into his arms.

~~~~~

Namjoo’s eyes moved up when the lift opened. The corridor leading to Jongin’s office was in front of her eyes. Now there was no choice in backing out. Moving forward was all she could do right now. To heal herself, to make life easier and better.

Clutching onto her bag she headed toward Jongin’s office. For once, Jongin was at his desk bent over some work. She took one good glimpse of him before closing the door and walked up to his desk.

“For yesterday, thanks.” Namjoo spoke and watched him lift his head up to look at her. “But you don’t have to do it. Sue her, I mean. I don’t care and I don’t think Hwan would care either.”

“Why?” he asked. “Do you feel sorry for her?”

“No,” she lowered her gaze onto his papers, “she doesn’t matter to me anymore. If you sue her, it’ll mean she’ll be a part of my life again. And I don’t need that.”

Namjoo gave him another glance then turned to head toward her work place. Ignoring his curious stare she powered the laptop on and got to work. Jongin walked over the following minute and took the seat across from her. Instead of snatching her work from her he gently asked, “Can you put that down for a few minutes?”

She glanced at him, this time without the spitting anger she felt around him.

“Please move on, Namjoo. You have to accept what happened and walk pass it.”

No matter what she felt, she had to stop allowing the past to drag her by the ankles. Maybe whatever happened between her and Jongin didn’t matter anymore. Two years had passed already. He might not hate her anymore…

Putting the laptop onto the table between them she looked at him. “What is it?”

“Yesterday was hard for you. I’m sorry about that.” He seemed sincere about it. Her heart throbbed.

“Never mind about that. It doesn’t matter.”

“Aren’t you curious?” Jongin asked. “How I found her? And who sent her the money?”

Namjoo’s eyes flickered upward then she pursed her lips. Quietly she said, “No. I’m sure you have your own ways of going around it and I don’t want to know.”

Jongin seemed perturbed by her reply remaining there somewhat silently, pondering over what to say next. “Where did you go with him?”

“Kyung sent me home then I slept,” she answered while thinking about how Kyung had sat with her as she cried her eyes out for one last time.

As if testing her for her lie, Jongin roved his eyes over her. The ringing of his phone cut the moment off and he turned to stare at his desk before finally rising. When he walked away Namjoo grabbed the laptop again, intending to return to work, but Jongin’s sudden loud panicked voice usurped the better of her.

“He’s what?!” Jongin asked loudly into the phone. “What do you mean?!”

Namjoo’s eyes landed on the empty spot in front of her. Unable to help herself she slightly turned to see him by the front of his desk, immersed in his phone, eyes large and wide. Jongin brushed a hand up his face and into his neatly groomed hair exemplifying his frustration.

“All right. Don’t call the cops. They won’t do anything yet. I’ll go look for him,” Jongin muttered distressed. He hung up and immediately grabbed his jacket from the corner. Namjoo quickly turned away when he glanced her way and immediately began making typos into the spreadsheet she had onscreen. A moment later Jongin walked toward her after hesitating.

“Jaegeun,” he started, “did he say anything to you the other night?”

At the mention of the nephew Namjoo instantly turned to him, worrying, “Did something happen to him?”

His brows twisted with concern, “He’s missing.”

“What?!” dropping the laptop Namjoo rose to her feet. “What do you mean missing?! He should be at school…”

Jongin shook his head and explained, “He only got on the school bus, but he never went in.”

“Then call the bus driver!” Namjoo screamed.

“My mom,” he quickly paused and looked at her like there was something more to say, “she’s on it. I’m going to look for him. Did he say anything about where he wants to go or anything of the like?”

Namjoo quickly recalled the night Jaegeun stayed with her but he had watched some TV, bathed, and then slept with her exclaiming how happy he was to see her again. “No…”

“All right,” disappointed, Jongin nodded. “Get back to work.”

Namjoo subconsciously took a step forward when he turned to walk away then stopped herself. Troubled, she bit her tongue. But what did this have to do with her? Voices scrambled through her mind, battling each other.

Jaegeun was sad. He had cried when she dropped him off at home. For two years he had constantly been reminded that she was dead and not to even mention her name. What if something happened to him? And it was because of her?

“Jongin,” she called out instinctively. When he stopped and turned it was too late to regret it. “I…I’ll go with you.”

A moment later they rushed out of the building together and she followed him to his car. Along the silent drive Namjoo fiddled with her hands nervously. Jaegeun, the poor nephew. Where had he gone? Had he attempted to run away at such a young age? What was he going to do and where had he gone?

Jongin pulled up to Jaegeun’s primary school and rushed inside to meet with Jaegeun’s teacher, a middle aged woman with thick round glasses.

“Jaegeun’s Uncle,” she greeted.

“Has there been any strange persons around?” Jongin began interrogating at once. “Around the school, any weird visitors?”

“No…not that I can think of.”

Jongin in a deep breath, trying to maintain his patience, “Has Jaegeun talked to his classmates or you about any place he might want to visit or go to?”

“No, he hasn’t.” the woman shook her head. “When the kids gathered in this morning, one of the boys pointed out that Jaegeun wasn’t with them.”

“What do you mean?” Namjoo pushed her way forward, slightly shoving Jongin back. “Don’t teachers wait outside for their students?!”

“I…I was meeting with the head principal this morning, there must have been someone out there with them.”

“What are you talking about?! You’re a teacher! Teachers are their student’s guardians and you were meeting with the principal in the morning?!” Namjoo scolded. “And you didn’t even notice he was missing, instead a student had to point it out?!”

The teacher gasped, taken aback. “W…who are you? Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”

Namjoo felt an insane rush of heat fly through her. Jaegeun was lost! The little boy was out there somewhere and all alone!

Jongin put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder, “I’m sorry. She’s Jaegeun’s Aunt. She’s just extremely worried.”

After apologizing once more Jongin followed her outside but all Namjoo could fathom was how angry she was the teacher hadn’t reported that Jaegeun was missing right away. Kicking the ground she muttered underneath her breath, “The nerve of that teacher!”

When she looked up she caught Jongin turning away from her with a smitten smile on his lips. Embarrassed for overreacting, Namjoo pulled the door open only to realize it was still locked. Turning to look at him she said, “Unlock the door and lets go.”

***Everyone is dragged by the past which results in all their misery. Jaegeun is just a child the family surrounding him are all miserable and depressed resulting in his broken nature. But in this way, too, he's helping Namjoo and Jongin bond again. 

***Right now, this is about moving on. I don't want you to think about how annoying it is that neither of them are making up or that they're constantly arguing. Jongin and Namjoo are supposed to be warring anyway because they have this entangled messy issue that still remains unsolved and so many things like Yeji and her father, Kyung and Joohwan's lie clashing just makes it harder for our main couple because their lives are heavily influenced by these people. Not to add to the fact that Jongin is still angry with Namjoo for lying and Namjoo is unable to get over being abandoned or let go of how hard it's been for her. She's hung on in the middle with so many grievances and she still believes Jongin hates her. But she's trying now to accept and let the past go. And Jongin has come to his resolution to bring her back into his house with the excuse that he's fed up with Yeji's antics. The real fact here is that we all constantly have a mess to clean up and we're tortured by what's happened in our pasts because as human beings we are emotionally driven. The past is a lesson and we can never forget it, that's why we always remember what has passed. This between Namjoo and Jongin is a whole complex mess of many issues tied together

***We all make mistakes and sad things happen and they haunt us for a period of time before we are able to make peace with it. Jongin and Namjoo are tormented by losing each other but getting back together just isn't that easy because nothing will ever be the same as it once was. Remember when Jongin's father told Namjoo that she's a vital part of the family?