~~~~~

One look at Namjoo and Jongin knew there was no one else but her who he wanted to stand beside him in his future. This urge to protect her from his cruel world spilled through him so strongly that throughout dinner he could not pay heed to anyone around them. Earlier, if not for Jaegeun in the room with them, he would have bolted the doors and asked Namjoo to have his baby.

He was constantly worrying for Namjoo’s welfare now that Chairmoon Goo would forever be at his back, monitoring his work. With him around would mean Yeji would be around just as much, and he couldn’t trust that Namjoo had told him the whole truth earlier. Yeji would have stepped into their bedroom to say more than just a few words to her.

He really hated the thought that Yeji had invited herself into his bedroom – his private and personal space. No one else but Namjoo belonged there with him.

After dinner Jaegeun pulled Namjoo off to keep him company and his father escorted Yeji and Chairman Goo to the door. Jongin gathered the rest of the dishes and brought them to the kitchen where his mother was currently organizing them into the sink for an easier wash.

“Need help?” he offered.

“It’s an old woman’s duty,” she said smiling up at him, “why don’t you get ready to go to bed or see what Jaegeun is up to?”

“He’s with Namjoo,” Jongin told setting the dishes onto the nearby counter. “I know I asked you this already but, what do you think about Namjoo? Be honest.”

“Jongin, I don’t think you could have made a better decision in your whole life.”

He beamed happily, “Really?”

Hunmi touched his hand to convey her sincerity and looked him in the eye, “I really like her Jongin. One look at her and I can already see that she’s ready to sacrifice anything for her loved ones. She’s really beautiful and she has a really big heart. You did a good job.”

Jongin couldn’t help but let a loud laugh of joy burst through his chest. “Wow mom…I don’t know what to say. You’re suddenly leaving me speechless.”

Linking an arm around him she patted his back gently. “I mean what I say.”

Ushered off by his mother Jongin left the kitchen and found Namjoo sitting on the floor with Jaegeun assembling his car track with him. While watching from the doorway he could already picture the most perfect image in his head – coming home from a long day of work to be re-engerized by the sight of Namjoo with their child, to have dinner with his small family which would eventually increase in size later down the road, and then lay in bed with Namjoo at night.

When Jaegeun suddenly looked up to meet his gaze he held a hand up to his lips to signal the boy to be quiet. Then slowly sneaking up on Namjoo from behind, abruptly wrapped her into his arms with a loud shout. As she jumped Jaegeun giggled adjacent from them.

“I almost swore at you!” Namjoo hissed when he moved to sit beside her.

Jongin playfully causin her head to sway with a touch of his finger, “I admit you’re not too old for that but aren’t you too old for this?” he tapped on the plastic car track.

“Look who’s talking about age, the person who still wants to jump scare others. Isn’t that right, Jaegeun?” Namjoo turned to the nephew. “Adults will always know how to have fun.”

“Then can we have ice cream?” Jaegeun asked.

“No,” Jongin immediately rejected.

His nephew whined, “Why? Auntie’s here.”

Namjoo raised a brow when Jongin glanced back at her. Rising to his feet Jongin scooped Jaegeun up into his arms, spinning him around in the air, before dropping him onto the bed.

“Careful! Aren’t you going to hurt him?” Namjoo asked wrought with panic as she stood to her feet from behind.

Jaegeun giggled loudly before Jongin lifted him up and set his feet onto the floor. “We always do this. What are you talking about?”

Namjoo sent him a frown before Jongin patted Jaegeun’s back. “Go take your bath now.”

Spinning around Jaegeun pulled his hand to tug him along, “Uncle go with me.”

He glanced from Jaegeun to Namjoo with a longing to walk out with her and spend the rest of the evening graced by her presence.

Smiling, Namjoo told, “Go on. I was about to go shower too.”

Allowing Jaegeun to pull him forward he shot Namjoo a glance and smiled before disappearing out of the room.

A few minutes after the water level was set and Jaegeun’s very favorite bubble soap was poured in, they climbed into the tub and Jongin began lathering the young nephew’s hair with shampoo. Bubbles flew out into the air when Jaegeun gathered them up with his hands and blew at the soap.

“Turn around, I need to scrub your back,” Jongin instructed.

“Uncle,” Jaegeun said.

“Hmm?”

“Why didn’t you ask Auntie?”

“Ask what?”

“To bathe with us.”

“Hey! You!” Jongin raised his voice.

Jaegeun giggled. “Why? It’s just bathing. Right?”

A frustration of how to appropriately explain it to the nephew made Jongin speechless for a minute. Then he finally managed, “Jaegeun, you can’t ever ask Auntie to bathe with you. She’s…she’s your aunt. Ok? Understood?”

Jaegeun turned around with a frown of confusion. “Why?”

“I said it’s not allowed.” Jongin stated.

“Have you bathe with Auntie?”

His face flushed with embarrassment before punishing his nephew with tickles. “You little booger!” Jaegeun squirmed and laughed loudly as the water splashed around them.

~~~~~

Returning to his bedroom after sending Jaegeun off to his grandma for company, Jongin, now seated at his desk with books in front of him, blankly stared off into space. For some reason he was starting to be hounded by the reality that he wanted children. A baby to hold sounded nice and completely dreamy. The thought of that little thing in the room with him made his heart beat a little faster. There was no rush but when he looked Jaegeun growing up alone without any siblings, he felt quite sorry for the nephew. Plus, after he inherited the company he feared work would keep him imprisoned inside that company disallowing him to come home like the many times it happened to his father. He didn’t want to do that to Namjoo.

The time they had now would be the most they would have in the future. His eyes swayed in the direction of the bathroom when Namjoo stepped out. The smile that came his way when she met his eyes sent his heart sky rocketing. She was so perfect. Jongin couldn’t help but let his eyes linger over her a little longer. The damp hair, the faint dew drops around her face, and the way she looked all snuggly in her pajamas.

Jongin felt freaking lucky.

“What?” she asked giving him a frown as she moved to dump her laundry into her basket then sat on the bed and pulled out a bottle of lotion. “Are you studying? Should I leave?”

“Of course not. Why should you?” he asked pretending to turn his eyes to his textbook but could barely understand a word he was seeing. All he could feel and pay heed to was the ing of his heart against his ribs and the desire to be sitting with her or something of the like.

“You graduate next week.” she reminded. “That means exams are around the corner. Or are there already exams?”

“I only have two.”

“Then you should be concentrating. I’ll leave so you can study without distraction.”

“No, don’t,” he quickly called out when Namjoo began to get up. He looked away almost embarrassed for being so hasty. Then grabbing his textbook he left his chair and made his way toward her. Namjoo watched him before he plopped down onto the bed before her and folded his legs.

“What are you doing?” Namjoo asked setting the lotion in her hand onto the bedside table. Shifting to face him she folded her legs as well.

“Study with me.” he suggested.

“What?” she sounded surprised. “I don’t know a thing about this. I think it’s better I go. I can go play with Jaegeun until he falls asleep.”  

“He’s with my mom.” Jongin added and felt relief soar through him when Namjoo no further budged.

“You’re not studying, are you?” Namjoo asked.

Biting his lower lip he glanced into her face and guiltily smiled. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll pass my classes anyway.”

Namjoo scoffed.

“You’re pretty,” Jongin whispered. He was infatuated, more head over heels than he’d expected. His eyes scourged her face, soaking in her beauty with disbelief that she’d come to him, having chose him over anyone else.

Moving his book away he traced a hand up her jawline before leaning forward to kiss her.

~~~~~

In no less than a second later Namjoo was splat on her back, her folded legs opening up around him. Jongin crushed her with his weight, his body warm against hers. Like the many times he held her before she could feel the muscular strength of his body, only it was slightly different this time. Her feet didn’t technically meet his and she felt pinned, merely crushed between the soft bed and his body oozing heat.

His shoulders crushed her s as he smoldered her with his passionate kisses, drawing out an unknown sensation through her body. It was none like she’d felt before. It was like agony deploring her body – only in a good way. Namjoo felt his tongue, his body moving over hers, and her legs tighten around him in response as her muscles strained.

A bonfire grew in the pit of her stomach and an ache became vividly clear between her legs. Namjoo gripped onto Jongin’s shoulders wallowing in the pleasure she was experiencing for the first time and felt her breath grow hot in his mouth. She heard him make a noise but it only sent her heart racing. She’d just taken a shower to clean off the day’s sweat but here she was, sweating again. His hand slid down from her waist to her hip and then to her thigh. The wildfire traveling through her body felt like a mad craze beyond her control. Strange but new.

Namjoo’s mind felt like it’d drifted off into the distance. It was almost as if she was having a good dream yet her conscience was trying to come to the fore. Jongin’s body was attractive pleasure in her hold but that was until she felt something touch her thigh. Her eyes shot open before suddenly trying to push him off.

Her voice came out muffled into his mouth. Shoving harder she shook her head. She wasn’t ready for this kind of commitment. And she wasn’t sure she could really go that far with him, even if she had come this far just to get married with him. It was stupid, she realized. She’d always known what it meant to get married. Namjoo knew clearly Jongin would come to expect things of her but she wasn’t prepared to bear the fruit of their marriage.

“J…Jongin…” she merely managed to breathe before he withdrew. She peered up into his eyes that read of desire yet concern that he’d done something wrong. The thought made her feel guilty for whatever reason there was. Then she lied, “I…I’m on my period.”

Jongin stared at her a little blankly before he smiled and nodded. Without further ado he slid off her and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Pulling herself up she glanced at him and timidly glanced at him still trying to cool off. Then she listened to him pat the empty spot beside him. Once she swung her legs over the edge as well and sat beside him Jongin wrapped a comforting arm around her. For a few seconds of silence he patted her head from the side.

She loved his acts of gentleness. Allowing herself to lean against him she closed her eyes for the time being and wondered what he was feeling.

“When my father was still healthy he worked a lot,” Jongin began. “I never saw him around the house, maybe three times a week for dinner and that was it. I can’t remember him being a part of my childhood at all, except for his loud booming voice always yelling at me. Always busy at work, always occupied, always called away, so there was never time for his family.

“When I inherit the company, I don’t want to be like that. Leaving you home alone for hours waiting for my return. I don’t want you to become lonely. Even when we have one of our own in the future, I’ll always make sure to come home every night. Maybe if we have a baby you’ll have someone to keep you company while you wait for me too.”

She felt him press his lips against her hair then leaned up to kiss his lower cheek. Leaning her head against his shoulder she replied, “I believe in you, Jongin. We can do everything else after we get married.”

~~~~~

Namjoo spaced off the following day at work while listening to the water run. It was hard to imagine days without Jongin. Recently, it just seemed the norm to have him around every day. Whether it be only a short few hours after work or the entire day with him or even a visit from him in the middle of the night, but that was all before she was preparing for marriage with him.

Those no longer counted.

Now, he was there, basically revolving around her every hour of the day. She still even discreetly checked her phone for any text messages from him, and when on her five minute break would call to hear his voice on the other side. And when his voice drifted through the phone to her ears her insides would light up and she’d feel more cheery than possible.

That one week without him after meeting his parents had turned her world upside down. She’d been miserable that whole time without him. So lonely, so despaired, so soulless.

If work took him from her, how would she feel about that?

It was hard to imagine him becoming someone like his gruff father. Jongin was so down to earth with a compassionate personality, always thinking about others and so gentle at that. Namjoo didn’t believe for one moment that even if the invisible forces of the world worked to turn Jongin like his father, it just wouldn’t happen.

Yesterday was different. She could tell he’d wanted some assurance for her in case it happened. He wanted a baby, a family.

Namjoo subconsciously squeezed her hand into a fist. She wasn’t sure she could be a good mother. She didn’t believe in herself.

What was it like to have a family? To be a mother, to lead her children?

Namjoo didn’t know how to do it. To carry this thing inside her for 9 months and go through hours of labor just to bring this being into the world...could she do it?

“What are you doing? You’re going to flood the sink at this rate,” Soona’s voice caught her attention.

“Oh…right, right,” reaching forward Namjoo turned the faucet off then turned to the girl. “Hey, have you ever thought about becoming a mother?”

The girl’s expression turned morbid with disbelief that she was hearing such thing from her. “Me? Who doesn’t?”

“So you’ve thought about it?”

“What woman doesn’t think about it? It’s a natural instinct to become a mother.  Even a nut like you would have it.” Soona shook her head before disappearing around the corner.

One thing clear to Namjoo was that she’d never really thought about it. Maybe the thought would occur to her in the future but certainly not now. She couldn’t be a mother now. Not to anyone.

After work she waited outside the store for Jongin and as she sat there she watched the people walking past her. All these people had family she realized. Each one of them meant something to someone. Some of them were already fathers or mothers or were on their way to becoming one. What kind of determination did they have to do it?

Joohwan wasn’t her son. He was her brother. He had been her duty. As an elder sister her job had been to look after him, and the journey till today had been an exhausting and lonely road she’d walked.

“Namjoo!” she heard someone in the distance call her name and focusing past a crowd of high school students, spotted Jongin walking toward her with an arm waving in the air for her attention.  

Rising to her feet she smiled and waved.

If there were two things she was suddenly sure of, they were that she wasn’t ready to become a mother and have one of her own. The other was that she confidently knew she no longer wanted to be lonely.

Jongin so striking and so handsome came nearer and nearer. Namjoo felt her eyes run over the length of his body, sinking in the fact that he would forever belong to her.

Yes, he was hers. 

***Sorry for disappearing so suddenly. This month has been a really bad one. Anyway, update is here for those who have been waiting for it.