~~~~~

Jongin was studying at his desk when Hunmi pushed the door open ajar then fully slid inside. Two warm, freshly laundered towels she’d just bought that morning specially for Namjoo was bound between her s and arms.

“Mom,” Jongin called when she walked in.

“I just…I was just wondering if you would have enough towels for you both,” she explained, her words flowing quickly.

“I already showered, but Namjoo’s speaking with dad.” Jongin said. “I guess we’re alike. I also made sure I had extra this morning.”

The woman smiled, her heart warm like the bundles pressed against her body. Swiftly passing by she opened the door to the bathroom to hear the vent humming, set the towels down neatly onto the shelf, and then walked back out.

Jongin was always so hard working, striving his best with all his effort. She knew one day now or sooner it would pay off and he would live amazingly happily. Today, his wife-to-be was here and he was glowing. Grinning from ear to ear till his mouth looked like it would tear just as Jaegeun teased.

“Working hard,” she stated walking over. “It’s late, you should rest.”

“I’ll wait until Namjoo gets back.”

She smiled, unable to believe this was really happening. Under one roof again with her daughter. Seeing her, looking at her filled her with nostalgic bliss. After so much time they were back together again as one family – in a complicated way, but it didn’t matter. Her daughter was here. Hunmi had no doubt that Jongin would treat her just right. He would give her all the blessings she, as mother, had failed to. He would make up for all she couldn’t.

“Thank you,” she quietly said, hand still his head. Because if not for you, I’d never see my daughter again.

Perked, Jongin glanced up at her with a raised brow. Slightly amused he asked with a laugh, “What?”

“It’s nothing,” she lied. “Did Namjoo organize her stuff yet?”

“Yes.”

“Will you two…” she hesitated, “be alright tonight?”

Jongin looked up at her with embarrassment slithering across his expression. “Mom…”

“Ah…well…” she moved her hand and turned to look away abashed herself. “I’m just…I’m just worried. I mean…it’s her first night here…she probably hasn’t shared a room with a man before…you…you know…so you shouldn’t…”

His brows twitched closer together before he laughed, “You’re really going to have this talk with me?”

It was embarrassing. The two of them were her children, though only one was bound by blood. Jongin was still as close a son to her as Joohwan and she trusted him with all her heart. In all honesty, she was now a little wary about Jongin being in a room alone with Namjoo. That the bigger case now since it was really happening. She couldn’t help but feel uneasy.

Namjoo, her daughter…

The door opened and she looked up to see Namjoo walk in. Their eyes passed each other’s before she averted hers. Taking it as her sign to bid Jongin goodnight, she brushed by Namjoo on her way out then closed the door after her. Due to routine, she stopped by Kwanhoon’s bedroom before calling it a night.

The man was still propped up on his bed. The jug on the bedside still filled halfway with water. Closing the door softly she turned to walk in and took to the seat Namjoo had earlier possessed.

“How is it?” he first spoke. “Your daughter is now home with you.”

She couldn’t help keep the smile from embracing her lips. “Of course, I’m glad. Very happy. So happy I couldn’t ask for more.” She looked at him. “What do you think?”

“She has your eyes,” he commented. “Big and expressive.”

A flittering bliss upon hearing that made her heart jump a beat.

“Jongin will be in your care now,” his voice grew quiet. “You must be happier so you will live longer. They will need someone who can help them along. No one else but you can do that for them. You’ll be the only one they have now.” His voice died slightly and he blinked helplessly as if his lids suddenly got heavier. “The wedding is now in your hands.”

“I understand,” she softly promised, feeling deep compassion for the man. “I’ll take care of the rest.”

~~~~~

“You’re back?” Jongin greeted when she walked in.

“Oh…yea,” she quietly uttered and glanced at the book in front of him.

“What did he say to you?”

Namjoo shook her head. “It’s nothing much.”

She wasn’t entirely sure what she was supposed to say to Jongin. Not like she’d gotten a scolding from his father either – maybe her father now too. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to saying that.

“Why don’t you go shower? I’m going to finish reading this before calling it a night.” He suggested.

“Uh…oh…ye…yea,” nervously nodding she turned toward the drawer and slowly pulled out her pajamas, slightly glancing back to see whether Jongin was watching her or not. She was uncomfortable.

The bed, the room, and the fact they would be sharing his long time blanket. She hadn’t slept with anyone before – and the night with him at the hostel didn’t really count either. Swallowing hard she shuffled toward the bathroom and closed the door; double checked that it was securely locked before turning to peer at the tub.  

Everything was ultra foreign to her through both touch and feel. Reality was striking her hard. She did not know anything here, was not used to anything. Nothing belonged to her. She should have already been mentally prepared for this, but she wasn’t – just as she wasn’t ready to start living with someone she would have to call mother daily.

Stepping toward the shower she pulled the handle to first adjust the warmth of the water, extending her hand out to test the temperature. Eventually, she would have no other choice but to adapt like the water was to her hand.

~~~~~

It took an extremely long time for Namjoo to overcome her silly vexation of walking out or not. If she stayed too long inside, Jongin might think weird of her. If she walked out too fast she wouldn’t know what to do. Either way she would be doomed with embarrassment.

Namjoo gulped when she twisted the knob to open the door and stepped out. Jongin lifted his head from his desk upon hearing her. The blood in her veins grew hot as it flushed through her, pumped through her heart, and into the rest of her body. Lips together she clutched onto the towel and the clothes in her hands, helpless where to put them.

Rising from his chair with a breathless laugh he grabbed the laundry from her hands which she instinctively tightened her grip on before letting go. Her bra and her underwear were tucked away in her pants, for she’d feared he would see them. She wasn’t ready to share that private part of her yet, or any other garment for that measure.

Was her face red? Did she look like some pathetic idiot just standing there, waiting for him to assist her?

Namjoo wanted to immediately bury herself under the blanket but Jongin already walked back. He sat down at the edge of the bed and glanced up at her as if none of it mattered at all when all of it screamed in her face. Her night shirt was wide and snuggly, loose at that which she was thankful for. If it even dared to plant itself against her front and back she might as well go to sleep with a sweater on.

“Come sit,” he said. When she didn’t move he gently took her hand to pull her down beside him and wrapped his arm around her waist, urging her against him.

Namjoo quietly gulped when her shoulder probed his forefront. Again, Jongin acted as if it didn’t so as much matter at all. As they sat there she instinctively squeezed her shoulders inwards to make herself smaller. Did he notice she wasn’t wearing a bra? Would he notice at all? What if he did? How would he react? Or did he already know?

Too self-conscious she found it impossible to look at him, even from the corner of her eyes. She bit her bottom lip when he laced his arm around her waist to hold her closer.

“After I graduate, we’ll be getting married,” he self-talked, his words merely flying emptily in and out of her ears. “Can you believe it?”

“Huh?” she asked quickly then felt like shrinking again. “Oh yea…”

“I can’t wait until you officially join the family,” he went on. “I think dad was actually happy to see you today. I can tell he’s glad that he’ll at least be around his daughter-in-law while he’s still here. What do you think?”

Namjoo ended up feigning a smile. “I guess…”

Jongin oozed delight, every bit of happiness she wished she could be sharing with him but she was uncomfortable in every way possible.

“It’s happening so quickly, it feels kind of weird, huh?” he asked. “Just a few weeks ago we started seeing each other. Now you’re here with me. A lot of people would call this unnatural, but I actually don’t think that way at all. An entire lifetime isn’t enough time spent knowing someone. We don’t even wholly know ourselves.”

The corner of her lips tugged themselves slightly upwards. “I think that’s the wisest thing you’ve said.”

“Yea?” he asked.

Namjoo nodded, smiling this time.

“You’re nervous, huh?” he asked.

Her eyes shot up at him for a brief second before she looked away. “Can I be honest?”

“Go ahead.”

“I am,” she admitted and felt all tension release from her body. “I mean…I haven’t done this before…”

“And you think I have?”

A laugh splurged out of when she did look up at him. Leaning forward he playfully knocked his head against hers.

“We’ll get used to this step by step, slowly,” he assured. “I’m nervous too, you know. I was worrying whether you’d be ok in my room.”

“It’s,” Namjoo looked around, “quite clean. I thought you’d have more stuff, like maybe some toys or something.”

“You were probably thinking about Jaegeun’s room,” he said then lightly pinched her waist. Namjoo let out a yelp of surprise. “Hey,” he warned, “he’s years too young for you.”

Scoffing, she laughed and reached over to pinch him too. “You’re mean.”

Her heart instantaneously pounded when he pressed his lips against her hair. “If only I didn’t have class tomorrow morning, we could sleep in some like normal people.” Stretching arms over his head he yawned. “Man, I’m tired.”

Namjoo peered at him more at ease than previously. Boldly leaning forward she pecked his cheek before dodging back and jumped onto the bed, pulling the blanket over her. “Goodnight!”

With eyes closed she listened to him scoff. The lights went off before he climbed onto the bed and pulled the covers over him. For a minute she lay there quietly, wondering if he might turn over to wrap an arm around her or something. When he didn’t she turned out of curiosity to find him lying on his back with his eyes wandering over the ceiling. Then he turned to look at her with a smile. Namjoo uncontrollably smiled in turn.

The weight on the bed shifted when he flipped onto his side to look at her.

“We’re getting married. Can you believe it?” he asked.

“Can I be honest again?” she asked.

“No, I don’t want to hear it,” he jokingly replied and moved over to hug her. Namjoo delightedly allowed him to pull her close and felt his chin on the roof of her head as she snuggled close. Without hesitating she lifted her hand up to hold him and closed her eyes.

This was good. This was comforting. Life was good.

~~~~~

“Ah…crap…” was the first thing she heard from Jongin that morning before they were up five seconds later, scrambling out of bed shoving past each other as if they’d been long time roommates, racing for the bedroom, and shuffling through the drawer and closet for fresh clothes.

After dressing and washing up for a few minutes that felt like eternity she scrambled out of the room to discover Jongin pulling his pants on impatiently. With wide eyes Namjoo looked away and felt him brush pass her moments later.

“Sorry,” she muttered but the door already closed.

Glancing around, Namjoo started toward his desk to close his book and waited for him to come out. It didn’t take any more than a minute.

“What time do you work?” he asked.

“I still have an hour left.”

“I’ll drop you off,” he offered swiftly walking over to pack materials into his backpack and lifted it over his shoulder before urging her out of the room.

“Uncle!” Jaegeun excitedly greeted when they entered the kitchen for breakfast. Jongin’s mother was by the stove arranging their fried eggs for them and set them down once they were seated.

“You’re up a little late today,” she remarked, whether to her or Jongin Namjoo wasn’t really sure and she didn’t want to know.

Lowering her eyes she grabbed her spoon and began chowing down hungrily.

“Can Auntie play with me today?” Jaegeun questioned from the other side of the table.

“I have to go to work.” Namjoo answered.

“Work?” he repeated. “Work like grandpa?”

“Well…it’s not the same but uh…yes.”

“You’re going to work?” Jongin’s mother questioned.

Namjoo quickly glanced at her then away. She bit down on her spoon and hurriedly stuffed more into .

“Thanks mom,” Jongin said a few minutes later after quickly eating beside her and stood. “We gotta run. Be back later.”

Standing up after him Namjoo turned to follow Jongin out of the kitchen and slipped into her shoes at the front door before he quickly grabbed her hand. She caught that broad grin on his face as he pulled her after him and quietly scoffed.

“When are you done today? Same as usual?” he wondered.

“What do you think?” she asked walking alongside him toward his car.

“Then I’ll stop by for lunch and after that.”

Namjoo eagerly nodded.

It was definitely a different feeling to be chauffeured to work and returning, not to her hostel, but what she would be calling her home from now on. The many changes to come suddenly seemed so exciting. The shared meals and the moments she would be sharing with Jongin from now on. They were superbly real.

She had a lover.

Jongin held her hand, his other on the steering wheel as he drove along the road. The silence sweeping between them was peaceful and set her at ease. It was as if it was something that accommodated them daily, had been for a long time now. She gripped his hand in turn with eyes swimming over traffic.

~~~~~

After dropping Namjoo off at work Jongin sped off to campus and as he sat in class, constantly daydreamed about the future to be shared with his wife-to-be. What kinds of things would happen? What kind of things would change after they got married – for better and for worse?  How much more would Namjoo change when he got to know her better? Would he be able to accept Namjoo fully? Would she be able to accept him fully, when she got to know him better? Would they start building a family right away? Or would Namjoo wait on that?

Once class ended he ditched Chanyeol to have lunch at Mr. Pizza, rushed back to class, and waited for Namjoo’s shift to end. If there was one thing, he couldn’t wait to snuggle up with her in bed that night. All he thought of as he drove home was a nice dinner after studying and playing with Jaegeun for a couple hours or so. Then he’d wash and they’d go to bed after talking some.

Only, it didn’t seem like plans were going his way. They had guests over for dinner.

The moment they walked through the door all giddy and hand in hand he heard Chairman Goo’s voice and Yeji’s friendly laughter.