~~~~

Polite Kyung had the heat on full blast the moment Namjoo entered the car. Her eyes zipped toward the side mirror as he drove off even though Jongin wasn’t in her angle of view. In her mind’s eye she could imagine him standing there, staring after the car and maybe hoping for it to explode down the road.

She didn’t know why she had inclined and kissed him earlier. The soft in his eyes reminded her of who he once was. Innocent and unwounded. Yet, it petrified her to see him become this way because of her. This unhappy man was her doing. She couldn’t forget the fire two years ago. She couldn’t forgive herself for being unknown to him. The two years of disdain she left him with and burden of guilt wasn’t easy to wash off.

“What happened?” Kyung asked. “Why are you out here?”

“Can you just take me to go get my car?”

“Ok.”

Leaning back into the seat she quietly sighed and stared out the window.

That night she couldn’t go to sleep so she sat at the edge of her bed staring out the window, watching the moon wane like her heart. Memories were seeping to the surface and she didn’t like how it was keeping her awake. Most of all, she disliked how cumbersome Jongin’s kiss was making her. And it was leaving her wide awake.

Those things floated to her mind effortlessly like a fish wading through water or bubbles rising to the surface when water boiled. She ached longingly. That deep and empty hole throbbed mercilessly. It was a bruise waiting to explode.

Jongin telling her through kisses that he wanted her. Jongin pinching her playfully when they sat together. Jongin gazing into her eyes and being like the earth orbiting the sun. Jongin telling her he wanted his first with her and no one else. Jongin teasing her and grinning happily as he basked in her embarrassment. Jongin whom she missed dearly tonight made her want to bend over and recall the two years of loneliness she hadn’t known she’d given him.

She missed him…gravely.

~~~~~

Namjoo awoke in the morning on the couch where she’d fallen asleep watching television last night and realized four hours had passed. Namjoo also realized her phone was ringing. Waking sleepily she rubbed her eyes as she forced herself off the couch and walked into the kitchen to search for the phone she’d left in her bag upon returning yesterday. Kyung had walked her to the door worriedly and then she had been alone the remaining of the evening.

It was also Kyung calling that early morning.

“Did I wake you?” he asked.

“I’ve been awake anyway,” Namjoo turned toward the stove and set the kettle on. She wanted coffee if she was to live the day.

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing. What’s up with the morning call? Thought we weren’t doing this anymore,” she muttered into the phone as she reached above the fridge for a box of cereal. Then grabbing a bowl from the cupboard she poured some cereal in along with milk.

“I don’t know what Hwan told my mom, but she insists on visiting today. When’s a good time?”

Namjoo frowned then looked up with an eye roll, “Joohwan what?”

“Bless the Lord it’s not my father coming. You know he’s the real mom,” Kyung said and Namjoo could hear his mother calling in the background.

“Kyung, I haven’t even made breakfast.” Namjoo complained. “Can’t your mother come by in the evening?”

“She’s got some food packed for you.” Kyung muttered. “I’ll stall her. The place isn’t messy?”

Namjoo turned to look around and saw some of her belongings hanging around. “I’ll clean up and cook something quick. Half an hour ok?”

“Seems so.”

Namjoo sighed then hung up. In the next split second she had a pan warmed up on the stove while dashing around the apartment to gather her belongings and tossed them into the bedroom. Running back into the kitchen she cracked some eggs and tossed them into the pan. All she could make in time was some egg rolls, and heck she didn’t know why Kyung’s mother wanted to come over in the morning. She had met them a few times and twenty times more when they flew to Britain to visit Kyung but it wasn’t as if she was close enough for them to think of her as a daughter.

Just when she managed to set the table with food the doorbell rang. Breathing a deep sigh of relief she smoothed out the casual dress she’d thrown on because Kyung’s mother liked a clean looking lady rather than a raggedly looking one, and she didn’t want Kyung in trouble because he was still hanging out with her.

“You’re here?” she greeted with a smile which vanished from her face just as quickly. Gripping the door harder and defensively, she stared back at Jongin. The welcoming tone disappeared as well from her tone, “What are you doing here?”

“From the sound of your voice, I take it you weren’t expecting me,” Jongin ignored her then glanced behind her. “I smell coffee. How about giving me a cup because I couldn’t sleep last night?”

Deepening her brow she ordered, “Go home, Jongin.” Then she tried shoving the door close but Jongin his hand against it and pushed harder, forcing her to step back as he stole his way in. Grumbling from the back of she shut the door loudly and followed him in.

Jongin first glanced at the set table and commented, “Looks like you’re eating good. No more instant noodles?”

Walking up to him she demanded, “Please leave, Jongin.”

“Why? You’re not going to invite me to eat with you?” he turned to her. “You once told me food tastes better when eaten together. Suddenly you don’t want to be sharing with me?”

Namjoo’s jaw tightened. She wanted to whack herself suddenly. Struggling not to grind her teeth she ordered steely, “You need to go, Jongin.”

A voice shrilled from the back of her mind. Kyung’s mother was on her way!!!

“Make me.” he stared down at her.

Her string of patience thinned and she snatched his arm, “Leave.” but even as she tried, she obviously couldn’t make him move as she wished. Jongin maintained his ground, only moving half a step. Flurrying with impatience she shot lasers through her eyes at him, “Jongin!”

Then the doorbell chimed, echoing throughout the spacious apartment.

.

Namjoo’s eyes shot toward Jongin then toward the door. What was she going to do? There was no way she could let Kyung and his mother see Jongin, another man, inside with her. She didn’t want his mother to assume she was using her dead mother’s place as a means to be meeting men. And she didn’t want Kyung to think she was associating with Jongin outside of the workplace like they had something going on again. Kyung and his parents already knew she had split from Jongin – only the two elders had never met the guy.

Stressed, Namjoo let go of Jongin and headed toward the door. She would tell them to come back at a later time, even though it would make her feel like a douche. Before she could even take three steps toward the door she was hauled back by Jongin, his hand tight around her arm.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he inquired.

“To get the door,” she enunciated each word through gritted teeth as if he hadn’t already known.

“No, you’re not.”

Shrugging her arm in an attempt to make him let go she said, “I have guests, Jongin, if you haven’t already realized. Did your mother teach you to be so impolite?”

Something flared in his eyes and he spun her around, driving her against the wall. He slapped a hand against it, caging her. Namjoo stared up at him just as stubbornly.

“Am I supposed to be scared of you?” she asked underneath her breath.

“No,” he answered, “you’re supposed to be held accountable for every dollar I spent on you. Be guilty, be ashamed, and think about whether the woman who gave birth to you wanted you to become this way.”

Namjoo’s guts contracted with distress and immediately lost her composition. As she stared hotly at him the doorbell rang twice more. Then the phone on the table rang and her eyes darted toward it.

“Don’t answer it,” Jongin instructed, removing his hand from her arm and slapped it against the wall.

The phone continued ringing moments after it stopped and the doorbell rang again. Throwing her hands out she tried helplessly to make him move.

“You should’ve left when I told you to,” Namjoo hissed. When she tried to step forward, he pushed her back.

“Why?” he asked. “Who’s so important you’d rather have them than me with you right now? I couldn’t sleep because of you last night! If I want to talk to you, we’re going to talk. So whoever is out there, tell them to leave because you’re going to spend this entire day with me.”

Namjoo clenched her teeth together, eyes hard on him. Then she finally said it, “Kyung and his mother.” Once she caught that spark in his eyes she pushed his arm away and finally stepped toward the door.

“What took you so long?” Kyung first asked lowering the phone from his ear.

“Are you ok? We were worried about you,” his elegant mother added. Namjoo spotted the wrapped container in her arms and pulled on a smile. Forcing a grunt to quiet at the back of she opened the door wider to let them in.

Kyung’s mother walked in happily but Kyung stopped at the entryway when he recognized Jongin. Touching his arm Namjoo whispered, “It’s an inconvenient time. I couldn’t make him leave. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry,” he assured her and let her close the door.

Following him quickly she walked up to Kyung’s mother, “I could only prepare this much for you this morning, so I apologize. Oh and…this is the Chairman of the company Kyung and I are working for.”

Han Kyungmo’s mother nodded with a polite smile toward Jongin, “Why, how are you? It’s such a pleasure to meet you! I hope our Kyungmo doesn’t disappoint you.”

“Ah…” flustered, Jongin nodded in turn. “Good morning, ma’am. Your son’s a fine worker. Please don’t worry about anything.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” She continued smiling gratefully. “Namjoo, I was afraid you wouldn’t have time to make your own food since you’ll be so busy running around with my Kyungmo,” the woman turned attention to her, “so I brought over some homemade food I prepared at home. Kyungmo’s so spoiled, so I thought I should make some extra for you. You were always ill and lost so much weight abroad, it’d be nice if you get a little plump again.”

“You didn’t need to,” Namjoo smiled awkwardly and stole a glimpse of Jongin, hoping he wouldn’t know what the woman was talking about.

“Where are your dishes, dear?” the woman asked turning around and began comfortably going through the dish rack and cupboards. “Since you’ve breakfast prepared, it would be rude to leave without eating. Lets have Mr. Chairman sit down and have a meal with us, if he doesn’t mind.”

Kyung’s mother turned to look at her as if she was a mediator and Jongin was someone who spoke in another language. Gently biting her tongue she forced herself to say, “If it’s all right, why don’t you sit down and have breakfast with us?”

Awkwardness set in between her, Kyung, and Jongin as the two glanced at each other while Kyung’s mother remained oblivious to the atmosphere. While Kyung’s mother dished out the food she brought the three sat down at the table with Jongin first stealing the seat beside her.

“I hope living here hasn’t been too lonely for you,” Kyung’s mother started off as she joined them at the table. “I know living alone after being married is quite difficult for some people.”

“I’m quite fine, thank you. There’s no need to worry,” Namjoo assured.

“Is that so?” she asked. “Kyungmo’s father and I were just talking. If it’s too hard on you and you find it difficult staying with Hwan, why don’t you come stay with us for a while? We have a few too many unused rooms in our house you could use.”

“Oh no,” Namjoo quickly interjected. “Don’t worry about me at all. I couldn’t.”

She noticed Kyung shooting Jongin an uneasy glance then turned to her, “My father’s been mentioning it. It’s totally up to you. Don’t let them pressure you.”

Slammed into an awkward situation Namjoo half-smiled while her eyes dashed toward the side. Damn Jongin, why hadn’t he left when she asked him to?

“You haven’t, by any chance, met your husband again?”

Weary and nervous with Jongin’s presence beside her Namjoo only managed a weak smile in hesitation.

“Oh, well that’s good,” the woman exclaimed relieved. “I heard about your situation from Kyung.” She watched Kyung make a face of complaint and shot her an apologetic gaze while his mom went on, “His father and I are looking around us to help you find the most suitable divorce lawyer. It’s best if you officially break it up with him, so you can move on. You’re such a fine woman; I don’t know why this had to happen to you. Men are horrible creatures sometimes.”

Smiling even more uncomfortably, Namjoo added, “Yes…”

“If Kyungmo’s father and I knew this would happen beforehand, we would have let Kyungmo marry you earlier.” The woman said. “I’m certain that our Kyungmo would treat you much better than some millionaire who only cares about his money. People with high status are so vagrant. You know, if you don’t mind, and you know Kyungmo’s father and I are in support of it, why don’t you consider our Kyungmo for once? As a child he’s always been so dedicated. I know he’ll be a much better husband than that first fool of yours.”

“Mom,” Kyung whispered from beside her.

This was getting too much for Namjoo to handle. She could have said whatever she pleased if Jongin wasn’t there, but she couldn’t be that good girl with him listening in on how everyone saw him as a villain. Would he be angry that she let them talk about him like that? Would he hate her more? Be angrier?

The food became more distasteful the more she shoved it into . When they finally finished their meal she was daunted by the fact that Jongin hadn’t once spoken or gotten up to leave, which all but meant he was going to stay behind and show her what a storm he could cook up.

Kyung’s mother nagged and helped her washed the dishes, organized her fridge, and put the food away. Then with one last look around the apartment while sharing stories of her mother, she finally left with Kyung an hour later.  

“I’ll call you,” she promised him at the door and uneasily glanced behind her.

“Are you going to be ok?” he asked.

“Kyungmo, it’s getting late,” his mother urged from the hallway then called out to her, “Namjoo, don’t work too hard. I’m sorry if we interrupted any business you were taking care of with Mr. Chairman.”

“I know, please get home safe,” she called out loudly to the woman then turned back to Kyung. “I’ll be fine.”

“Sorry, Namjoo. I didn’t mean to blabber about your problem to my parents. They overheard me talking over the phone to a colleague,” he explained.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry,” she assured.

“And, Namjoo,” he looked at her somewhat timidly, “about what mom said…if you don’t like it here alone…”

“I told you, I like it here.” She smiled.

She watched him lower his eyes as if trying to gather up some courage. When he finally looked her in the eyes again he said, “I don’t like it that he knows you’re here.”

Conflicted, Namjoo gazed back quietly. She hadn’t wanted Jongin to know either but it would be even more uncomfortable under one roof with Kyung and his parents. She wasn’t prepared for that kind of life.

“I’m sorry, Kyung.” Was all she could think to say.

“I hope you two can talk things out,” he said softly, sincerely. “And I hope…you don’t smile at him this way.”

He lifted his hand up and paused midway before squeezing her shoulder. Smiling softly he urged, “Go in.”

When he turned toward his waiting mother Namjoo forced herself to close the door.

“Took you long enough,” Jongin glared at her from behind. 

***Angry Jongin is angry Jongin but Jongin getting badmouthed by Kyung's mother and in front of him too xDD

***P.S. expect super late updates now in the future after i finish posting up drafts i have saved. I got a full time job right now and when I come home I just sit around a little and go to sleep cause I need to get up early again. Bear with me