It was a feeling. It was the feeling of wanting to say something, wanting to say so many things, but not being able to. Although it’s not that one is prohibited from opening his mouth, but there is something preventing the words from leaving his lips.

In Luhan’s case, it was the fear of not being able to take back something once it had been spoken.  That feeling coupled with the fear of ruining a relationship was more than enough to keep Luhan from speaking his mind.

He couldn’t be a liar if he never said anything, right?

Luhan wasn’t a liar; he was a coward.

Cowards liked to hide. Luhan loved to hide, particularly under the cover of the night. He could do whatever he wanted, be another person, express any and all emotions in the dark.

Guilt is cloaked in the night, at least that’s what Luhan liked to think.

However, memories are never left in the dark. The feeling of guilt may not stick, but the memory of his actions would never leave the back of his mind. There are certain things that he would never be able to forget, especially ones that he desperately wanted to.

That’s why he always ran away, just like a coward.

EXO and Luhan spend the night in the hospital room. The staff is kind enough to bring in extra chairs and blankets for the boys. There isn’t much to be said. A nurse stops by to give updates on Sehun. Luhan waits vigilantly at the door every time.

The bleeding has been controlled.

He’s too unstable for any visits.

He isn’t conscious yet.

His family has been notified.

His family has arrived and is in the waiting room. They would like to speak with Suho.

Reporters are waiting outside for interviews and pictures. However, the hospital has removed them from the premises, saying that they must respect the privacy of the patient. The only details released to the public are: Oh Sehun was rushed to the hospital during the early morning. EXO is at the hospital.

Somehow,the media seems to have missed that Luhan was at the hospital. However, that was the least of the singer’s worries at the moment.  

His phone keeps buzzing, but he’s the only one who doesn’t seem to notice. About every seven minutes, Luhan’s ringtone plays, in addition to a series of ‘dings’, signaling multiple text messages.

It’s comforting to hear some noise. All conversation in the room has ceased. There is nothing left to be said and nothing that can be said to make them feel better. The TV is on, but the volume is down. Kai fiddles with the remote, but can’t get the volume buttons to work. He results to mindlessly flipping through channels.

The others want to tell Luhan to shut his phone off, but they don’t. He paces back and forth in front of the door, eyes focused on the ground. It’s only when his phone falls out of his jacket pocket that he stops moving. He stares at the screen for a moment and then turns it off.

“Please...” Luhan says quietly. “...don’t check the news.”

But it’s too late. Kai flips to a news station and accidentally drops the remote. Coincidentally, the fall resolves the sound problem and the TV plays at full blast.

“BREAKING NEWS: SINGER AND ACTOR LUHAN LEAVES BRIDE-TO-BE ACTRESS GUAN XIAOTONG THE NIGHT BEFORE WEDDING.”

Everyone’s heads turn in the direction of the TV.

Baekhyun wakes up to the sound of Chanyeol hyperventilating. The rapper is sitting up on the hospital bed, hands shaking and sweat dripping down the side of his face. Baekhyun doesn’t even rub the drowsiness from his eyes. He immediately wraps his arms around the other.

“Breathe, Chanyeol,” he says. “Breathe.”

He can see the tears falling from Chanyeol eyes and can feel the other shaking. Baekhyun shifts his position on the bed and sits in front of the rapper. He places his hands on Chanyeol’s shoulders and makes the other look him in the eye.

“Inhale, Yeol,” Baekhyun says and Chanyeol follows his words. “Now, exhale.”

They sat like that for a few moments, Baekhyun telling Chanyeol to inhale and exhale and Chanyeol trying his best to calm down with the vocalist’s help. When the rapper is calm enough, Baekhyun asks a nurse for a cup of water.

When the nurse comes back, Baekhyun thanks her. He holds the cup to Chanyeol’s lips and helps him drink. Chanyeol drinks the water slowly, eyes misty and downcast. When he finishes, he reaches for one of Baekhyun’s hands.

“I thought it was all just a nightmare,” Chanyeol whispers. “I thought that when I woke up, we’d be at the dorm, everyone just passed out from drinking too much before countdown. But when I woke up…” Chanyeol looks as Baekhyun sadly.

“...I can't believe that this is happening,” Chanyeol says.

Baekhyun wants to comfort him. He wants to hold the rapper and take away all his worries, all his grief. But before he can say anything, Chanyeol’s phone rings. The Caller ID flashes Kyungsoo’s name and out of habit, Chanyeol picks up immediately.

Kyungsoo starts talking a million miles an hour. He sounds panicked and stressed. They can hear some yelling in the background. Baekhyun even thinks he hears a voice that sounds a lot like Luhan’s, but that can’t be possible.

“Where have you been? I’ve been calling and texting Baekhyun, but he hasn’t answered once. Is he okay? Are you okay? Where are you? Please tell me you know where Baekhyun is. You better come to our room right now. Sehun’s parents are in the hospital and Luhan hyung is here too-”

“Luhan hyung?” Baekhyun asks. He was right after all.

Baekhyun notices the way the look in Chanyeol’s eyes change after he hears Luhan’s name. He grips the phone tightly, knuckles turning white.

Kyungsoo hears the other vocalist and says, lowering his voice, “Yes, Baekhyun. Luhan hyung is here and apparently he ran away from his wedding.”

“Baekhyun, take my phone,” Chanyeol says, handing his phone to the other.

Chanyeol gets up from the bed and punches the wall. The punch makes such a loud noise that a few nurses and a doctor rush in from the hallway. Holding his fist, Chanyeol crumples to the floor with a groan. The doctor kneels beside him and begins to examine his hand.

“What was the noise? Baekhyun? Chanyeol? I understand if the two of you don’t want to come to our room, but tell me where yours is. It would be nice to know where you are.”

“Room 220,” Baekhyun says, eyes darting to Chanyeol and the doctor on the floor. “I think it’s best if we stay here for a bit.”

“Alright,” says Kyungsoo. “As for Sehun, he’s okay, but we can’t visit him yet. I’ll let you know when we can.”

“Thanks Soo. Bye.”

“Bye.”

A nurse pushes a wheelchair into the room. The doctor helps Chanyeol get on it. He turns to Baekhyun and says, “Your friend needs X-Rays for his hand. If there is any damage to his bones, we’ll have to fix it up. Now, can you tell me how he got hurt?”

Baekhyun bites his bottom lip. “He punched a wall…”

But why?

“We’ll make sure not to keep him for too long,” the doctor nods at Baekhyun and leaves the room. The nurse follows, pushing Chanyeol in the wheelchair.
 

“You didn’t invite us to the wedding?” Chen asks, seemingly upset about the wrong thing.

Xiumin is frowning, as are most of the other boys. “We knew you had a girlfriend, but you never thought to tell us that you were getting married?”

“How did you think running away from your wedding was okay?” Kyungsoo asked.

Luhan is silent. He’s sitting by the door, hands in on his lap and eyes nervously wandering around the room as his former group members fire questions at him. Xiumin, Chen, and Kyungsoo give him disapproving looks. Kai is frowning, but not at Luhan. Suho is still in the waiting area with Sehun’s family, but Luhan is sure that he would be giving him the same look as Xiumin, Chen, and Kyungsoo.

Luhan locks eyes with Lay. Lay takes this as a signal to speak up. He clears his throat. “I told Luhan-ge to come. If you’re angry, be angry with me. Just like the rest of you, I didn’t know about the wedding.”

“I’m here because I care about Sehun-ah,” Luhan finally says. “I can always get married another time...But right now, I have to be here.”  

Kai walks across the room to sit next to Luhan. “Thank you for coming hyung.” He gives the other a weak smile. Luhan’s lips curl up a bit.

“So…” Kai continues. “Can you tell us about her?”

Luhan thinks about Xiaotong and all of her messages that he left answered. He thinks about her standing at the altar, not knowing that he wasn’t going to come. She must be thinking that he left her for good. He didn’t even tell her where he was going. In fact, he hadn’t told anyone about what happened.

He was ironing his tuxedo when he got the call from Lay. Luhan dropped everything to fly to Seoul. He’s sure that Xiaotong would forgive him when he finally tells her why he had to leave so suddenly. But right now, he doesn’t want to be thinking about her.

“Is it okay if I don’t?” Luhan asks. “I’m so worried that I can’t think straight…”

Kai apologizes.The room fills with silence again. They turned off the TV earlier because most channels were reporting about Luhan and Guan Xiaotong.

There’s a knock at the door. Suho and a nurse enter the room. The leader’s eyes immediately land on Luhan. He glances at the other EXO members with a confused look. Suho opens his mouth to say something to the former member, but he shakes his head.

Luhan stands to greet the nurse. “How is Sehun?”

“He isn’t conscious yet, but he’s talking and asking for someone named Luhan.”

Chanyeol broke three of the knuckles on his right hand. With a new cast and a prescription for painkillers, Chanyeol is wheeled back to Baekhyun’s hospital room. Though he insisted that he was capable of walking, a nurse told him that it was hospital policy to have patients sit in wheelchairs.  

Back in Baekhyun’s room, Chanyeol gets out of the wheelchair and walks to the window. He can hear the vocalist washing his hands in the bathroom. Baekhyun is humming, voice echoing off the bathroom walls. With his uninjured hand, Chanyeol draws the blinds and looks outside. Brilliant white light fills the room. There’s a snowstorm outside and Chanyeol can’t see anything but the swirling white flakes.

“Oh Yeol,” Baekhyun says, closing the bathroom door. “How are you?”

The vocalist joins him in front of the window. Gently, Baekhyun lifts up Chanyeol’s injured hand. He kisses the cast and lifts his gaze to the rapper’s eyes. Chanyeol’s lips spread into a small smile. He pats Baekhyun’s head with the other hand.

After Baekhyun pulls away he says, “So are you going to tell me about the wall punching, or do I need to pry?”

Chanyeol is looking out the window again. He doesn’t answer Baekhyun’s question. “Did Kyungsoo say anything about Sehun?”

“He’s okay, but we’re not allowed to see him yet.”

Chanyeol is frowning. “Well...okay.”

“Is it because of Luhan?” Baekhyun asks suddenly. Not knowing is bothering him. If there’s something wrong, he would really like to know. He wants to understand.

The rapper clenches his uninjured fist and turns to Baekhyun. He leans in and kisses the vocalist.

Taken aback by the other’s actions, Baekhyun blushes and momentarily forgets what they’re talking about. “Yeol…” he says breathily, lips tingling and cheeks warm.

“Baek,” Chanyeol says, his soft eyes gazing into the other’s droopy one. “The other day, you told me that you love me. Do you...do you really?”

The vocalist places a hand on Chanyeol’s cheek and rubs his fingers against it. “Yes, I do love you, Chanyeol. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it.”

“I’ve been in love with you for years,” Chanyeol confesses, gazing at Baekhyun with adoring eyes. “But I don’t think you’ll be able to love me anymore after I tell you what I did.”

“Nothing will change my feelings for you,” Baekhyun says, heart thumping quickly . “You’re a good person. Whatever happened, I’m sure it can’t be bad.”

He doesn’t understand what’s happening. The vocalist knows that he should be happy. Their feelings are mutual. Chanyeol loves him. Chanyeol loves him. But there’s something wrong.

What Chanyeol did...this has to be related to Luhan, right?

“It wasn’t bad. It was terrible. I did something terrible, something that I never should have done.”

Luhan was always running from others, but this was his first time running to someone.  Sehun was asking for him. Sehun needs him.

This time, Luhan promised himself, this time he won’t hide. This time, he won’t run away again.

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Hello my lovelies! I am back with another update c:

I hope your 2018 is going well so far. Mine has been very relaxing. I got a new laptop for my birthday and I’ve been inspired to write more haha!

Please drop me some comments and let me know what you think of this chapter~