One can’t accidentally sleep with their homoual best friend, right? Wrong, that’s exactly what Byun Baekhyun did last night. Chanyeol confirmed it only moments ago.

Good-bye ity.

Good-bye Taeyeon.

Sayonara normal friendship with Chanyeol.

Baekhyun royally ed up. What was he supposed to do now? The fact that he initiated it makes everything ten thousand times worse. How would he even explain to Taeyeon? Should he tell her? There’s no doubt that she will break up with him.  The vocalist had always been one to boast about saving it for ‘the one’. How could he let himself get carried away on one drunken night? He was supposed to have awkward, heart-warming, completely sober, first time with Taeyeon. He was supposed to lose his v-card to her. Not Chanyeol, never in a million years.  

He doesn’t understand how Chanyeol can face him now. This is all Baekhyun’s fault. Though it would make him feel better to shove the blame onto Chanyeol’s shoulders, he realizes that the giant hadn’t done anything wrong. Baekhyun is the guilty one here. The stupid little guy who can’t hold his liquor. He forced himself on his best friend.

Chanyeol was never one to say no, especially to Baekhyun. Of course, he wouldn’t object to anything that the vocalist wanted. He never had before and it seemed, after last night, that he never would.  

He wasn’t being fair to Chanyeol. He took advantage of the giant’s kindness.

Baekhyun doesn’t understand what he did to deserve this. He must have burned down an entire village in a past life. The universe was shoving karma up his in the worst way possible.  And poor, sweet Chanyeol was always involved. Chanyeol didn’t deserve any of this. Baekhyun was always getting them into sticky situations. There is definitely no way to worm their way out of this one.

He needs to apologize to Chanyeol. Not just for this night, but for everything that’s happened between them.

Baekhyun clutches Chanyeol’s sheets in his hands and sobs into the fabric. Beside him, the giant is completely silent.  Baekhyun is shaking, tears falling from his eyes and dripping down his chin. He doesn’t even care that he’s staining the blanket with with his snot.

“Baekhyun…”Chanyeol murmurs. Large, warm hands are placed on the vocalist’s shoulders.

Chanyeol doesn’t understand why no one ever lets him finish speaking. He’s genuinely surprised by Baekhyun reaction, but equally worried at the same time.  Gently, he rubs the other’s thin shoulders in attempt to calm him down. He doesn’t want to see Baekhyun cry. More than that, he doesn’t want to be the reason for the other’s tears.

Baekhyun seems to fall apart in Chanyeol’s hands. The smaller’s sobs grow louder and he begins to shake so much that Chanyeol starts to panic. The rapper pulls the vocalist closer, arms wrapping around the other’s thin body.  He rests his head on top of Baekhyun’s.

“Would you let me finish talking now?” he asks gently, Baekhyun’s soft hair tickling his cheeks.

“No!” Baekhyun sobs. Thin, shaking arms wrap around Chanyeol. Then, the giant finds himself knocked flat on his back with Baekhyun’s face pressed into his chest. The vocalist’s hot tears seep through the fabric of Chanyeol’s shirt.  Their legs are tangled and their bodies are pressed together. Their arms are still wrapped around each other. They have been in this position countless times. Both males realize this, but neither makes a comment.

There’s nothing unpleasant about the situation.

Baekhyun’s head is spinning, shoulders trembling, and heart thumping in his chest. He swallows back his fear and lifts his head up, tear-filled eyes meeting Chanyeol’s wide ones.

“I need to t-tell you…” Baekhyun stutters.”I’m so sorry, Chanyeol. Please don’t hate me.”

Tears slip down his pink cheeks. His bottom lip quivers and he tightens his hold around the other. This is it. He needs to apologize to Chanyeol no matter what. He needs the giant to know how sorry he is.

He can’t mess up this friendship again. Once is already too many times.

“You’re too nice to me, Yeol,” Baekhyun whimpers into the giant’s shirt.”I’m so sorry… It wasn’t my intention to take advantage of you last night…”

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol says. “We--”

“Please let me speak,”Baekhyun responds, hands reaching up to hold the sides of Chanyeol’s face. His droopy eyes are red and swollen at the corners. Trembling fingers lightly press and rub against Chanyeol’s skin. The rapper gives the vocalist a puzzled look, but Baekhyun doesn’t seem to notice.

“I was reckless last night. Though I don’t remember much, I know enough to realize how much of an idiot I am.” He takes a deep breath.”I don’t deserve your kindness.  You’re always looking out for me. But when it comes to you, I can never do anything right. With you, I continuously screw up. I’m a horrible friend and an even worse person.”

“Baek-”

“And I understand if you’re mad at me. It’s okay if you can’t forgive any of the things that I’ve done...and all the horrible things that I’ve said to you. I know that I haven’t apologized at all. But I know that I’ll never be able to make it up to you. Saying ‘sorry’, is not enough at this point… I don’t know what I can do.

But...If there’s anything that I can do, please tell me. I want to make things right between the two of us.

Just please, please don’t hate me.  I can’t be without my best friend anymore. I don’t want to be without you. You have no idea how much it means to be by your side, Chanyeol.”

“I--”

“You’re more important than family. More important than a friend. Chanyeol, I think that I can’t live without you. I need you by my side.

So please, forgive me for what happened last night. I don’t want the fact that we slept together change our friendship-”

“Baekhyun!” The giant slaps his hands over Baekhyun and shakes the vocalist. The rapper’s cheeks are flushed bright pink.
 

“We didn’t sleep together!”

“But you said--” Chanyeol covers Baekhyun’s mouth.

“You didn’t let me finish speaking! Now listen to what I have to say before you jump to ridiculous conclusions.”

[Flashback to the previous night]

“Instead of telling me, you should show me how it feels.”

With Baekhyun on his lap and the other’s irresistible lips centimeters away from his, Chanyeol was having a hard time trying to remember the three rules.  He practically lost all his sanity and reasoning capabilities when their lips met only moments ago. It took all of Chanyeol’s mental strength to hold himself back when Baekhyun slipped a hand down the front of his sweat pants. And now, the other was asking him for . A very drunk, very y Baekhyun wanted to get it on with him. What had Chanyeol done to deserve such a sweet, yet painful torture like this?

Baekhyun’s breath was hot against Chanyeol’s mouth, cherry red lips making the taller’s head spin.  The hand down Chanyeol’s pants was dangerously close to the giant’s intimate parts. The look in the vocalist’s dark, glossy eyes was absolutely sinful. Baekhyun’s cheeks were flushed bright pink and droplets of sweat were beginning to collect at his brow as he panted heavily. His hair was sticking to his forehead and his eyelids were getting droopier by the second. Baekhyun was breathtakingly beautiful in the moment. Chanyeol committed every detail of the scene in front of him to his memory, never wanting to forget.

“Chanyeol, please,” Baekhyun whined breathlessly, hand slipping even lower into Chanyeol’s pants.

A whine escaped Chanyeol’s lips when Baekhyun’s fingers brushed against the most sensitive part of his body. Snapping out of his daze, he grabbed the other’s hips. The neediness in Baekhyun’s voice and eyes was nearly enough to push Chanyeol off the edge. Sparks of electricity tingled beneath his hot skin. Shivers ran down his spine and desire pulsed in his veins. He wanted Baekhyun so ing bad. He’d already broken the third rule. And Chanyeol knew he was on the verge of breaking the second.

Baekhyun’s hand cupped Chanyeol’s package. Immediately, Chanyeol grabbed the other’s hips, fingers curling into the fabric of Baekhyun’s tank top. The vocalist mewled in delight at the other’s touch, and sighed as Chanyeol pulled of his top. Baekhyun found their positions flipped, as Chanyeol pressed him down into the blankets and pillows. The giant’s handsome face loomed above him, and Baekhyun can’t help but wrap his legs around the other’s slim waist.

He doesn’t remember how it happened or even when it did, but both boys were stripped of all their clothes expect their boxers. Chanyeol’s hot lips and warm breath, coupled with his rough grip on the vocalist’s hips, had Baekhyun seeing stars. He didn’t care if Chanyeol’s hands would leave bruise marks in the morning.

The direct contact of their bare chests was absolutely delightful. Chanyeol tasted like cherries and honey. Baekhyun could not get enough. With his legs wrapped around the giant, Baekhyun pulled him closer, their heated crotches brushing together and sending jolts of euphoria down both of their spines.

“, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol groaned deeply as he pulled away from the other’s mouth. Baekhyun sighed in response, lifting his hips up to continue the delicious friction between them. Chanyeol ed downwards and Baekhyun pushed back up against him. The fort was filled with the sounds of skin slapping together, the rustling of fabric, and the moans and gasps of both boys.

In the midst of it all, Baekhyun opened his eyes. Chanyeol’s handsome, sweaty face loomed above him. He could see crystal beads of sweat sliding down Chanyeol’ tantalizing neck. The dips and curves of his neck looked so delectable and inviting.Baekhyun was mesmerized by the movement of the other’s adam’s apple with every breath he took.

Thin fingers found purchase in Chanyeol’s warm, sweaty locks. Baekhyun pulled him closer, and pressed his pink lips to the other’s slick, salty neck. The giant inhaled sharply at the feeling of Baekhyun’s tender, feather-like kisses. Baekhyun’s hot tongue teasingly rubbed against the other’s skin, followed by the grazing of his teeth.

“Baek, you-ahhh k…”

Chanyeol lost his mind the moment Baekhyun began to on his neck. Every , every bite, all sent blood rushing down south. He moaned loudly and uncontrollably with each and every mark that the small vocalist left on his skin. The pain was equally balanced with the undeniable pleasure that tingled beneath the giant’s skin Chanyeol didn’t know how much more of this teasing he could stand. His heart was pounding and member throbbing. He wanted Baekhyun so badly. He had to take him now.  

Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun’s hands away from his hair, locking their fingers as he pushed Baekhyun down on his back. With one hand still holding Baekhyun’s, Chanyeol leaned over, lips brushing against the sensitive skin of Baekhyun’s bare chest. The other hand made its way down to the smaller’s boxers, fingers toying with the waist band. He trailed butterfly kisses down the other’s chest, lips briefly wrapping around one of Baekhyun’s perky s. The vocalist’s back arched and he moaned at the sensation of Chanyeol’s warm mouth around his sensitive nub.

Chanyeol’s dark, lust-filled eyes never leave Baekhyun’s droopy ones. He can see Chanyeol’s desire for him. Baekhyun wanted more, so much more. Chanyeol did as well.

Chanyeol’s warm, wet kisses leave Baekhyun’s head spinning and skin heated. He shiverd in delight when the rapper’s fingers dipped below his boxer’s waistband. When Chanyeol’s finger tips find his hard, , Baekhyun ed up into the other’s hand.

Just as Chanyeol began to pull down Baekhyun’s boxer, the vocalist hiccupped. The rapper was snapped out of his lusty haze.  He found himself laughing at the cute noise. Embarrassedly, Baekhyun covered his mouth. All of a sudden, his droopy eyes began to feel heavy. With his free hand, he mindlessly, reached for Chanyeol’s, fingers wrapping around the giant’s wrist.

Their dangerous night of temptation took a 360 degree turn of events. Their desires seemed to fade away with each yawn that slipped from Baekhyun’s red, swollen lips.

“Yeol...Sleepy…” He murmured, heavy lids struggling to stay open. Baekhyun tugged on Chanyeol’s wrist, wordlessly asking him to stop. “So tired…”

After seeing the adorable, sleepy expression on Baekhyun’s face, Chanyeol momentarily disregarded his disappointment. His lust and longing for the other is overtaken by feelings of light-hearted, innocent compassion. The giant leaned forward and brushed his lips against Baekhyun’s forehead. He smiled, watching as the other’s eyes slipped closed, a small smile on Baekhyun’s lips appeared as well.

“I’ll take you to bed, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol said, gently pulling the other’s boxers back up and letting go of his hand. He looked around the blanket fort, searching for Baekhyun’s clothes. However, he couldn’t find any of their clothes except the shirt he was wearing before.  Though they were sweaty and warm from their earlier intimacy, Chanyeol knew that the night air is still chilly. He shouldn’t let Baekhyun catch a cold.

He unwrapped the vocalist’s slim legs from around his waist. Carefully, he slipped his shirt on to Baekhyun, gently guiding his arms through the sleeves and head through the neck hole. The rapper managed to find his sweatpants and tugged them back on.

After getting dressed, Chanyeol scooped Baekhyun up into his arms. They left the blanket fort together, the rapper holding the smaller boy close to his chest. In his sleep, the vocalist’s arms circled around Chanyeol’s neck. Cutely, he snuggled closer to the giant, his face nuzzling into Chanyeol’s warm, bare chest.

Sneakily, Chanyeol crept back into the dorm with Baekhyun in his arms. With every step he took, the wooden floor creaked beneath his feet. He winced at each sound, fearing that the noises would awake the other members. However, luck seemed to on on his side; he made it to Baekhyun’s room without any trouble. The vocalist had been mumbling incoherently in his sleep. He was fidgeting in Chanyeol’s arms, his nose scrunching up every now and then.

Chanyeol laid Baekhyun down in the vocalist’s bed. He pulled the covers around the smaller boy and tucked him in. The rapper sat down beside Baekhyun, eyes tracing the curve of his lips. Warm, calloused fingertips brushed against Baekhyun’s chin. The sleeping boy seemed to move towards the other’s touch. He hummed in his slumber, the corners of his lips curling into a small smile. Chanyeol’s heart thrummed in his chest. He gazed down at Baekhyun in absolute adoration of the other. His eyes were sparkling with the most beautiful sight he’d ever encountered.

“Chanyeol…” Baekhyun groaned in his sleep.”Why are you so ing hot…”

The giant snorted at the sudden comment. “I should be asking you that question,” he whispered. “You have no idea how beautiful you are, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun flashed a toothy smile. “I’m ing fabulous.”

Chanyeol laughed. Even in his sleep Baekhyun was still a diva. He was funny and beautiful. Baekhyun, Chanyeol’s best friend and hidden seductress. Baekhyun, the one who had been out of Chanyeol’s reach for years. Everything changed tonight. Baekhyun was right in Chanyeol’s arms, splayed out beneath him, their bodies pressed together, lips locked, and legs tangled.

A bittersweet feeling settled over Chanyeol as he watched Baekhyun snore away in dreamland. It was true that Baekhyun was right in his grasp. He has the marks on the neck to prove it. However, tonight became more evidence that Baekhyun was much more of a dream than a reality. Perhaps, fate revealed itself in the form of the vocalist’s sleepiness.

They wouldn’t be here now if Baekhyun hadn’t fallen asleep.

Though the alcohol and lust would have been enough to cloud his reasoning, Chanyeol would have to live with the guilt of sleeping with someone else’s significant other. He would never be able to forget something as momentous as this.

Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise that nothing more happened between them last night. Geting any further may have been too far past their boundaries. Chanyeol doesn’t know what it could have done to the already delicate framework of their friendship.

This thought was only another stab to his heart. It added to the growing pain of reality that Chanyeol could no longer deny. He was only Baekhyun’s friend and he’d only ever be just a friend.  No matter how long he loved the other, or how close he got, it would never be enough to become number one in Baekhyun’s heart.

Taeyeon had everything on him. There was no way he could ever outrank her. It would be foolish of him to think that Baekhyun could ever be his.

Chanyeol got up to leave, Baekhyun’s mattress squeaking with his movement. Though before he could leave,  thin fingers wrapped around his wrist. Chanyeol turned back around in surprise.

“Won’t you...stay awhile?” Baekhyun whispered in a half awake state, eyes fluttering open. He pulled Chanyeol closer.”Don’t leave just yet…”

Chanyeol would take what he could get. Though he could never be more than a friend to Baekhyun, it didn’t change the happiness he felt from being at the other’s side.

“Anything for you, Baek.”

[End of flashback]

[Two years ago]

“Why does nothing last?”

“What do you mean by ‘nothing’?”

“Youth, the changing seasons, friendships, relationships, and life.”

“You’re wrong. All of those things exist in the spectrum of eternity. Each is part of a continuous cycle. Once youth ends, life ends. However, new life comes into the world and youth is replenished. Though the seasons change, they do not end. Every year we experience winter, spring, summer, and autumn. It’s the same for relationships between people. The world is the embodiment of forever. Everything does last, just differently each time.”

“That’s contradictory. If something changes, it doesn’t mean that it lasts forever. It’s not the same and it never will be. You can’t go back and see life the way it was before the change happened. You can’t see the things that disappear.”

“The stars are really pretty tonight.”

“Hey! Don’t change the subject!”

“I’m not. I’m answering your question.”

“Don’t play around with me. I know that stars eventually die out. We’re only talking in circles here.”

“Forever lasts.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“You don’t understand what I’m saying. You’re trying in vain to prove me wrong, even though you want me to be the one to help you find the answers.”

“...”

“The world is constantly changing, right? I know you can agree. It is the fact that things change that means that forever lasts. The sun will rise and set everyday. Snow will come in the winter. Rain will fall in the spring. People will die. People will be born. You will meet new friends and lose old ones throughout your entire life. Your relationships will always change. Change is forever.”

“Hmm.”

“Why are you pouting now? Didn’t you want an answer?”

“I just...I didn’t hear what I wanted to.”

“Now I don’t understand.”

“I want something intangible. Something that will never change no matter how much time passes. I don’t want to hear about change and cycles. I want to have something unchanging that will last in the forever of my lifetime.”

“Our friendship. Hey--don’t cry…”

“You’re leaving in a week. Is this some sick joke?”

“Sehun…we’ll still be friends after I leave.”

“If we really were friends you wouldn’t be leaving me.”

“That’s not fair. Don’t be greedy.”

“You don’t understand. It won’t be the same. Like you said, relationships will always change. You’ll meet new friends and lose old ones. Hyung, you’re going to start a new life. I already know that I won’t be part of it.”

“Why are you making such an assumption like that. Sehun, you mean so much to me, more than just a friend.”

“Hyung..I---”

“I love you. You’re just like a little brother to me.”

“A brother.”

“Yes. And even though we won’t be able to see each other, I hope you realize that I’ll always be there if you need me. You can call or text me any time.”

“...”

“Sehun, stars do die out. Eventually their light will fade. However, stars can exist for millions of years. New stars are always able to come through the darkness. The two of us won’t live for millions years. We probably even won’t get to experience a star turn into a supernova. I want our friendship, our relationship to be like a star. I want to be your star. I want to be there, shining for you in the darkness. Though morning will come and you won’t be able to see me, you know that I will always be there. You don’t always need to see me and be with me to know that I am by your side.”

“Stop--”

“I can be your forever, Sehun.”

“Don’t play around, Luhan hyung. Don’t mock my feelings.”

“But I’m not! Hey what are you-”

Long, trembling arms circled around Luhan’s waist. Sehun pulled him closer, watery eyes b over with tears as he leaned in. Their lips were only a hair’s breadth away. Frozen in shock, Luhan couldn’t do anything but stare. He was rendered speechless, words stuck in his throat. The older boy watched in disbelief as Sehun closed the distance between their mouths.

Luhan tasted Sehun’s warm, salty tears as the younger kissed him. The maknae’s lids fluttered shut. His quivering lips lips parted and Sehun whispered against Luhan’s mouth.

“Don’t you understand?”

Each word was a stab to Luhan’s heart.

Sehun found himself pushed away. Luhan stood before him, hand over his mouth, eyes wide, and shoulders shaking.

“W-We can’t do this, Sehun...I’m sorry,” Luhan turned his back to the other and left without another word.

He left a week sooner than planned.

Sehun wasn’t able to say good-bye.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I originally planned for this fanfic to only be 10-15 chapters haha. Then I thought that was too few and decided to shoot for 20-25. Anyways, this fanfic is more than half way finished. There are going to be a lot more flashbacks in the following chapters. 

sorry to disappoint those who wanted a baekyeol scene cx

Thanks for reading and I hope your holidays are going great~

Please drop me some comments. I'd love to know what you think of this chapter. 

FlamerLocket-