“You have to come back, now.”

“I have a life, you know. I have a successful career and a busy schedule.”

“If you don’t get on the next flight to Korea, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.”

“Now you listen here. You can’t just call me out of the blue and--”

“It’s Sehun. He’s in the hospital.”

“...”

“I booked a flight. Which hospital?


 

A tired-looking male nurse approached the group of boys in the waiting area. Looking up from his clipboard he asked, “All of you are here for Oh Sehun, correct?”

Suho stood up immediately. “Yes. We’re his group members and roommates.”

The nurse nodded and scribbled something down the the clipboard. He glanced down at his watch, and then returned his gaze to Suho. “I need to ask two favors of everyone. Firstly and most importantly, do any of you have type O blood?”

Baekhyun raised a shaky hand. “I do.” He got up from his seat and stood beside Suho. “Does... does he need blood?” Baekhyun asked, worried brows furrowing together.

The nurse nodded again and moved his gaze to the droopy eyed vocalist. “Yes. He’s lost a lot of blood and unfortunately, the hospital has run out of his blood type. In addition, the closest blood bank hasn’t been responding to our calls and messages. Would you be willing to help Oh Sehun? The sooner he gets blood, the higher his mortality rate will be.”

Kai inhaled sharply, and beside him, Kyungsoo placed his hand on top of the younger’s.

Baekhyun didn’t even hesitate before giving an answer. “I’m more than willing to help.”

“May I have your name?” the nurse asked.

“Byun Baekhyun,” the boy said, watching as the nurse wrote it down on his clipboard.

“Thank you very much,” the nurse told him. “As for everyone else, we’ve prepared a separate private room for you to stay in. It has come to the hospital board’s attention that you are very popular idols. In order to prevent a commotion, we ask that you go along with the arrangements we’ve made.”

Suho casted a glance to the rest of the members and raised his eyebrows; he received a few nods in return. “Yes, that’s fine,” he told the nurse.

“Good. Now please follow me to the room.”

The eight boys silently shuffled behind the nurse, following him down a long hallway. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were towards the back of the group, shoulders bumping into each other, but heads down and hands shoved in their pockets. The vocalist bit his lip. He could practically feel the anxiety rolling off of the giant; he’d never seen Chanyeol so distressed before.

“It’s all my fault…” Baekhyun barely heard the other whisper.

The nurse had stopped at an open room and motioned for the boys to go inside. After everyone but Chanyeol and Baekhyun were inside, the nurse walked towards the two.

“Mr. Byun? Are you ready?”

Baekhyun turned to Chanyeol, who stood in the middle of the hallway and showed no signs that he that he would be heading into the room any time soon.

“Uh…Just one moment,” he told the nurse. “I need to talk to my friend.”

The vocalist’s eyes quickly darted around the hallway before landing on the men’s bathroom across from the room that EXO would be waiting in. He gave the nurse a forced smile, and then tugged Chanyeol into the bathroom.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Baekhyun threw himself into Chanyeol’s chest, wrapping his thin arms around the other’s torso. He held onto the giant tightly, face buried into his chest and fingers gripping his jacket. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for this,” he whispered, tears beginning to well in his eyes.

He could feel Chanyeol shaking, and hear the sadness in the voice as he rasped out,”I knew that he had a tendency to self-destruct. B-But for awhile it was okay...because he always came to me…”

The giant wrapped his arms around Baekhyun, tears slipping down his cheeks as he shook his head. “I wasn’t there for him. It’s all my fault… It’s all my fault…”

“Chanyeol…”

Baekhyun, you don’t understand. You really don’t understand.

The vocalist felt the other’s body trembling, and was momentarily worried that Chanyeol would fall over. Quickly, he pushed the taller up against the wall and reached up, cupping the sides of his face as he looked up and into Chanyeol’s eyes. Standing on his toes, Baekhyun leaned in and kissed the other’s quivering lips. The taller boy inhaled sharply.

“Chanyeol, you’re a good person. You have a good heart and everyone, even Sehun, knows that,” Baekhyun murmured against the giant’s mouth. Gentle fingers brushed the taller’s warm skin. He pressed another kiss to the other’s lips, but not before he whispered, “I love you. It’s going to be okay; he’ll be okay.”

“Baekhyun…” Chanyeol whispered, reaching out to hold one of the vocalist’s hands. He could feel his heart thrumming in his chest and more tears beginning to well up in his eyes.  He was experiencing too many emotions all at once, it was almost overwhelming

He said he loves me. Baekhyun loves me.

Baekhyun gave the other’s hand a squeeze. “I’m going now, but i’ll text you when I’m done.”

Chanyeol watched sadly as Baekhyun left the bathroom. Just as he was about to leave as well, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His hair was a terrible mess, eyes bloodshot, lips cracked and peeling, and clothes all rumpled up.

By gaining Baekhyun, does it mean that I’m going to lose Sehun?

Chanyeol clutched a shaking hand to his chest. He pressed his back to the wall and slid down to the cold tiled floor. The rapper pounded his fist against his chest, digging his fingernails into his palm.

No matter what anyone says, I know that it’s all my fault.

I’m the worst, the absolute worst.

Chanyeol could feel fatigue creeping up on him. Too many things had happened all at once. His heart couldn’t handle any more shocks, be it good or bad. All he wanted to do was to fall asleep, and awake to realize that everything that happened was only a nightmare. Yes, that’s all he wanted.

None of this can possibly be true.

Just as his drowsiness began to overtake him, the giant heard fists pounded on the bathroom door.

“Hey!” Someone yelled from the other side of the door. “Other people need to use the restroom too! Get out if you’re done!”

Startled, Chanyeol got to his feet and stumbled out of the bathroom, mumbling an apology to a man and a little boy who had been waiting outside. He’d made the mistake of getting up too quickly; the hall seemed as if it were tilting back and forth from left to right, just like a ship on the open seas. His vision was hazy and his ears were ringing with the voices of the staff, complaints of patients, and a far-off beeping of an alarm.  Chanyeol felt queasy, sick to his stomach, and light-headed.

The giant collapsed into the nearest chair. Its legs squeaked beneath his weight as he leaned back, forearm thrown over his eyes to block out the brightness of the hallway. He drew in a shaky breath and clenched his jaw. Hot tears were welling up behind Chanyeol’s eyes.

I still don’t want to believe it.  I can’t.

The boy held his breath. Although he hadn’t seen Sehun when the others found him, he watched from the roof with Baekhyun as the youngest was hauled inside the ambulance. He couldn’t forget the look of terror in Baekhyun’s eyes, reflected along with the flashing lights of the sirens and the New Year’s fireworks. The thundering boom of the fireworks had nearly drowned out the wail of the emergency sirens.

How could a night of celebration so quickly become one of tragedy?

None of this can actually be happening. It’s a nightmare, a terrible nightmare. That’s right.  I’m going to wake up in a few moments and everything will be fine, everything will be normal.

He knew that Sehun had never gone this far before. However, he didn’t know that the other would ever have the courage to do so.

Sehun had always been afraid of death, but yet, he willingly embraced the suffering that came with pain. He didn’t want to die, but he would give anything to disappear. He was a tragic contradiction.  On the outside, he might have seemed strong, but on the inside, he was still a child with uncontrollable emotions.

He wanted to forget the heartbreak of rejection, but he forced his way into a sticky relationship, with another person he could never have. Deep down inside, both Chanyeol and Sehun knew that the only one in rapper’s eyes would be Baekhyun.

Chanyeol should have said no. He should have turned down Sehun the first time. But who was he to say no? Chanyeol’s fatal flaw was his kindness and he could never escape a request from anyone.

Who would have thought that he one time he said no, the single time he turned the maknae down, would have lead to this awful night?

But it’s all your fault, Chanyeol. A voice whispered in the boy’s head. If you hadn’t rejected him, it wouldn’t be this way.

You’re a murderer, Chanyeol.

Sehun didn’t end himself, you killed him.

Baekhyun watched as a nurse wiped off the puncture site on his left arm. His head was thrumming and he’d like to think it was because he couldn’t look away from the needle that was inside his arm instead of what happened with Sehun. But how could he not think about the younger boy when the sole reason that needle was in his arm was because he volunteered to give Sehun his blood?

“Sorry,” the nurse said as she peeled a bandaid from its wrapper, a pink Hello Kitty bandaid. “We ran out of normal ones.

She smiled at him coyly. From the look in her eyes, Baekhyun could tell that she recognized him. He smiled back at her as she stuck the bandaid on his arm.

“Now you might feel dizzy for a bit and I recommend that you sit and wait for a few moments,” the nurse said, cleaning up the equipment. “They’re bringing the blood to the patient now. Is there anything you need? Or anyone I can call for you?”

Baekhyun shook his head. He just wanted her to leave. He needed to get back to Chanyeol.

“Baekhyun-ssi, I heard about what happened,” the nurse said, halfway out the door. “I’m so sorry and I hope that everything goes well.”

Baekhyun sighed. It hurt to smile and he didn’t want to force it any more. “Thank you,” he told her.

As soon as she left the room, Baekhyun got out of bed. Alongside lightheadedness, one of the first things he felt was instant regret. The boy grabbed on to the guard rail of the bed as his legs wobbled beneath him. With great difficulty, he managed to haul himself back on to the bed.

There was no way he was getting back to Chanyeol soon. “I should have just texted him first,” Baekhyun muttered to himself, shaking his head as he fished his phone out of his pocket.

Baekhyun: I’m in room 220. Can u come?    4:57 AM

Chanyeol replied almost instantly.

Chanyeol: I’ll be there.      4:57 AM

And then he was there, within less than five minutes. He was breathing hard, hair messy and eyes bloodshot. Chanyeol looked absolutely grief-stricken.  Baekhyun opened his arms to the other. Chanyeol joined him on the hospital bed and curled himself around the vocalist. Baekhyun’s hand found Chanyeol’s, their fingers intertwining.

“Baek…” Chanyeol said, sad eyes looking into the other’s. “It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault.”

“Chanyeol, I need you to stop thinking that.”

Tears welled up in the rapper’s eyes. “Even if he survives, I’ll never be able to forgive myself.”

“There were signs, but I was too stubborn to realize them,” Suho said, head in his hands  and foot nervously tapping against the floor. “I’ve failed as a leader, a guardian, and a friend.”

Kai sniffled beside him, eyes red and lips quivering. Kyungsoo squeezed the other’s hand and shook his head at Suho’s words.

“No one is to blame in this situation,” Kyungsoo said, looking around at the rest of the members.

“We can only hope for the best,” Chen murmured, gaze directed towards the linoleum floor.

Xiumin sat on the hospital bed with Lay, who had his face pressed into the elder’s chest. He was still shaking, eyes wide and hands still stained red. The dancer had refused to change out of his soiled shirt and pants; he was wearing a hospital gown over his clothing.

“I’m sorry…” Lay whimpered into Xiumin’s t-shirt. “I didn’t find him quick enough.”

“Yixing, it would have been too late if you hadn’t found him,” Xiumin whispered, gently running a hand through the other’s tousled hair. “Don’t be hard on yourself.”

“Sehun...He planned it, didn’t he?” Kai asked quietly. “Didn’t he? It happened when we least expected it…”

The realization slowly dawned on the rest of the boys. As Kai’s words sunk in, they held their breath. What could possibly be said to make this situation any better?

Nothing. Nothing at all.

The boys sat in silence, words lost on their lips and lumps in their throats. To say that their hearts were broken would be an understatement to the way they were feeling.

“I think that-” Kai started to say, but was interrupted by some commotion in the hallway—commotion that sounded a lot like people running, nurses yelling, and a man yelling back at the nurses.

Suddenly, the door to the room slammed open, startling  Chen, who was standing nearby.  However, the person who stumbled into the room startled the rest of the boys even more.

“Sehun-ah….where is he? Where is he?”

“Luhan hyung?”

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I AM SO SORRYYY IT HAS ALMOST BEEN A YEAR SINCE I UPDATED I LOVE YOU ALL AND WE REACHED 700 SUBSCRIBERS THANK YOU sOO MUCH

Please enjoy this update and let me know what you think!

Also Happy New Year y’all! I hope this is a great one for you <3