Silencing, he watched her stare at the wall. Huffing, he angrily ran his fingers through his hair and stomped his feet angrily as he turned. He was fuming, his blood hot and churning like mad wildfire.

Everything had been so well. It had been so good.

Kai felt betrayed. Walking out he slammed the door after him.

\\\\\

As soon as the door slammed shut Namjoo’s lips trembled and she dropped to the floor. Tears immediately flooded her eyes, racing down her face. Cries wailed through her as she grabbed onto the carpet. Her lips contorted painfully and she closed her eyes as sobs ransacked her.

Sehun loved her. She wanted him but she had been pushed into a corner and had been forced to give everything up. Now this was ruining her life.

It was unfair.

\\\\\

Sleep was fitful. It was impossible to close his eyes for even a second without feeling some sort of unease. Turning around he saw that the clock read two in the morning. Sighing heavily Kai stepped out of his room and stared down the dimly lit hallway.

He was still angry but a part of him wondered how Namjoo was holding up. Thinking back to all the times he’d seen her throwing up he couldn’t help but wonder if it was painful. Stopping in front of Namjoo’s bedroom he leaned against it and settled his hand lightly on the doorknob. Nanny Jung had told him that Namjoo often left her room unlocked, for whatever reason he didn’t understand.

He didn’t want to see her. Pressing his ear to the door he listened for any sound inside that might tell him Namjoo was awake too. She wasn’t.

Stepping back he turned away to return to his room.

\\\\\

In the morning when Kai headed toward the kitchen he expected to see Namjoo there at the table. Like yesterday, he was alone.

“Where’s Namjoo?” he asked.

“She asked for breakfast in bed this morning,” Nanny Jung explained setting some side dishes onto the table. “It doesn’t seem like she’s feeling well.”

Throwing on a façade that he could care less he picked up his utensils. “I’m going out for work. I won’t be in until late.”

“It’s a Saturday,” she stated as if he didn’t know.

“I have things to do,” Kai mumbled. “Also, call to keep me updated.”

The elderly woman smiled placing his bowl of rice down, “I know. Don’t worry about Namjoo. I’ll take good care of her. It is difficult having a child but she’s not alone. Just go to work without a worry. I’ll take care of everything else.”

\\\\\

Namjoo wasn’t feeling well and couldn’t help but think she was starting to fall ill again. Breakfast had come back out as soon as it went in and now she was lying in bed with what felt like a headache. She didn’t feel so emotionally well either. This ache in her chest only got worst by the day. As much as she tried to tell herself it was ok, she knew it wasn’t.

She was nowhere near happy.

She turned when the door opened and spotted the gray haired Nanny Jung walking in with a tray of food. Pulling herself to sit on the bed she feigned a smile. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be laying down.”

“No, no, don’t worry about it,” she tenderly said and placed a cup of water with a piece of lemon floating in the liquid onto the night table. “When my daughter was pregnant, she often liked to drink water with a slice of lemon in it to help from feeling quesy. See if you like it.”

Nodding, she thanked her. With nothing to do after finishing the glass of water she stepped out of her room after gathering some clothes that needed washing and paused in the hallway. Walking toward Kai’s room she paused in front of the door. The only time she’d been in there was when he first brought her here to look around. When they moved in she left him to sort out his belongings and never went back in.

Pushing the door open she poked her head in and turned the light on then fully stepped inside with the clothes hanging off her arm. Browsing around let her see a sophisticated and clean room that smelled like him, along with the scent of fresh books yet to be opened. A bookshelf filled from top to bottom with literature, a desk along with a chair, his bed in blue, a stand filled with miscellaneous items he’d brought from home and toy models. The window above the bed let a ray of light drift in over his bed with the curtains left open.

She hadn’t known that he was such a neat person and suddenly realized that she didn’t really know him. Baek Gosun’s words made a run through her head.

“Although there will be hard times you two must learn to love each other, understand one another. You two may think since you’ve gotten together that you know each other well, but I tell you it’s not like that. There’s much more than to what you see now. You have to learn to be patient. For example, your husband isn’t who you think he is, you’ll learn much more about him while living with him. The same will be for your wife. The experiences you’ll have as husband and wife will teach you to stick together through thick and thin.”

Namjoo suddenly wondered if she’d been too cooped up with herself to try to get to know who Kai really was. Maybe she should feel bad.

Stepping toward the stacks of new books sitting on his desk she grabbed the first one and stared at the title: Tales of Mother and I. One more thing she hadn’t realized was that Kai read. He was an intellectual, sharp, and smart.

Adding the book to her pile of laundry she glanced around recalling why she’d come. Starting toward Kai’s basket of clothes, she grabbed his load of laundry and headed downstairs. While waiting for the clothes to wash she found Nanny Jung in the kitchen prepping for lunch.

“What are you making?” Namjoo wondered coming up to her side to see her mixing some red pepper paste with other sauces.

“I’m making a dipping sauce, so you can have it along with the pork steak for lunch,” she explained. “Do you want to taste?”

Nodding, Namjoo opened hungrily for the bit of sauce on the spoon coming her way and ate it deliciously. A bright smile popped up onto her face and she nodded, exclaiming, “It’s delicious!”

“Isn’t it?” the woman asked happily. “Seeing you smile like that I feel much better. You have a pretty smile, Namjoo. You’ll look less sad if you smile more often.”

Hearing her words touched a bleeding part of Namjoo’s heart and she smiled again.

“Can you teach me how to cook?” Namjoo suddenly asked. “I feel kind of bored with nothing to do.”

“Sure, why not?” the woman agreed.

Namjoo didn’t think she’d ever had such a time of simple joy in the kitchen with the nanny, who in some ways, felt like a mother. And when the table was set she finally asked, “Where is Kai?”

“He didn’t tell you?” the elderly woman asked. “He went to work. He said he won’t be in until late.”

“Oh…” Namjoo muttered. “I see.”

He was probably angry with her in a way she wouldn’t imagine, she thought. If his parents ever found out she was carrying another man’s child it would be the end for her. She’d just created another problem for Kai, for all of them. And Kai would be the one in the most trouble because he’d married her despite knowing something had been going on. She'd saved a disaster just to create another one. 

\\\\\

The office was silent. There wasn’t real work to do. Only a few employees had come in to finish up work they were dragging or had missed. Honestly, there was nothing for him to do. It was just he couldn’t stand being in the same house as Namjoo. It was suffocating on a level ever since yesterday.

When the phone rang Kai picked up. It was the nanny.

“Namjoo looks better than she did this morning,” she informed. “She was also up and about and just had lunch. She’s probably back upstairs, though it would be nice if she didn’t lock herself up in her room all day. I think it would be nice for both mother and child to get some fresh air.”

Kai let the words soak in. “Alright.” He felt like he wanted to say something else but didn’t know what.

“She asked about you,” the nanny told, “she seemed disappointed to be eating lunch alone.”

Kai stared about and all he said was, “Ok.” Then he hung up and buried his face into his hands. He wasn’t even sure what the situation had turned into now. What was he going to do? 

Leaning back into his chair he heavily sighed and quickly sat back up when the door opened. “The editing is done.” A brusque man explained.

“Ok,” Kai nodded when the man turned to leave he quickly called out, “wait.”

He watched the team member turn around questionably. “Yes?”

“Just,” Kai hesitated, “at the last gathering…you said your wife was pregnant. Did she give birth yet?”

The man’s face brightened, “Yes. It’s a boy. He’s about five months now.”

“Is he?” Kai asked. “Then…your wife…was she nauseous a lot?”

“For a few weeks she was,” the man nodded.

Kai glanced away then back to him and asked, “Is there something to do to make it better?”

“Of course, certainly,” the man confidently said, “my wife loves tea so she often had tea with lemon balm or peppermint. Red-raspberry tea also works really well. She tried everything.”

“Wait, slow down,” Kai called out then grabbed his pen. “Say that again.” And he scribbled quickly. “What else?”

“Mm…well, sometimes my wife didn’t want to drink water to hydrate herself so I froze sports drinks into ice cubes to help her rehydrate. My mom also made her drink water with a slice of lemon in it. Those few things should help reduce the nausea.” The man explained then asked, “But…is your wife pregnant? I heard you recently got married. Congratulations.”

A timid smile creeped onto Kai’s face. “No. It’s…it’s a friend.” The man nodded and barely walked about again but Kai called him back. “Thanks. You can leave work early.”

After making sure that jobs were completed for the day Kai watched the employees leave one by one and turned to look outside. It was dark now. Street lights were blinding the sky with their golden glows. It would be an hour or two before he returned home if he wanted to stop by the mart.

Getting into his car he drove off and stopped by the store with the list he’d made. It took him an hour just going through the aisles and asking around before finding the right stuff. Then checking out he finally drove home.

No one was up and all was quiet, almost empty when he opened the door. Walking into the kitchen he sort out the products he’d bought, stuck the lemons into the fridge, and then headed upstairs. He paused by Namjoo’s door and wondered if he should check on her. On impulse he nearly walked away but his feet halted again and he turned. Reaching for the knob he quietly twisted it open and saw that the lights were still on.

In the large recliner his mother had given Namjoo he spotted her asleep inside the seat curled up like a child with a book over her belly. Glancing down he grabbed the book and looked through it, recognizing it as one from his bedroom. The surprise that flowed through him made him feel both sorry and thrilled. Then setting it aside he gently linked his arms around Namjoo, careful not to wake her before lifting her up.

The first thought that came to him was that she was light for a pregnant mother. Before settling her onto the bed he glanced down to see her curled up in his arms looking safe and relaxed. She probably hated him now that things had become like this, and he didn’t have a solution for it either.

Placing her down onto the bed he pulled the blanket over her, carefully tucking her in before turning the lights off and closing the door. When he got to his bedroom he discovered his clothes neatly folded on his bed, his button downs carefully ironed and lain down for him to put in his closet, and a stack of his boxers beside that.

Embarrassment fluctuated through him along with gratitude he wasn’t sure how he would express in the morning, but he had to admit the gesture made him feel good.

When he started down the stairs the next morning Namjoo was up and about in the kitchen with Nanny Jung, helping the elderly woman with breakfast preparation. For about a minute or two he watched from the doorway, wondering how it would feel if Namjoo had married him willingly and they were living happily.

“You’re up?” Nanny Jung was the one who caught him.

Looking away to ward off his embarrassment Kai walked in coolly and sat down. “Why are you two so noisy?”

“Namjoo said she wants to learn how to cook, isn’t that nice?” Nanny Jung cooed.

Kai made no remark as Namjoo sat down at the table. He grabbed his spoon and dug it into his rice before pausing then finally looked up.

“Thanks,” he quietly forced himself to say inaudibly, “for doing my laundry.”

Namjoo glanced at him, as if surprised by him when he didn’t think she needed to be.

“From tomorrow on, you don’t have to go to work anymore,” he said. “Don’t push yourself. It’ll just give you unnecessary stress.”

There was a moment of silence before Namjoo obediently inclined, “Ok.”

\\\\\

Namjoo spent the next morning in the bathroom puking out her breakfast. After brushing her teeth to rid of the acid taste she started back down the stairs pausing when she heard Kai’s voice. Slowly taking the next few steps down she watched from an angle as he took out his wallet and handed some cash to the nanny.

“Here,” he said. “If Namjoo wants to eat something we don’t have, go get it for her.”

“I will, don’t worry about her.” the nanny assured with a tender smile. “Go on. I’ll take care of her.”

Namjoo turned away as if Kai might see her eavesdropping before heading out the door. Once the door closed she turned again and started down the stairs. The nanny turned to see her and grinned.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked. Namjoo nodded. “That’s good. Come here.”

Namjoo let the woman take her by the arm and lead her into the kitchen to sit and watch her grab a decorated tea cup from the shelf – an expensive set they had received from some of Kai’s relatives at the wedding. Cherry blossoms had been carefully painted on the thin and fragile ceramic cups before going through another phase of coating. The brim of the cup was glazed in gold that shone beautifully against the design.

“Kai bought them last night before coming home,” the woman explained as she poured some warm tea into the cup. “He heard that they help reduce nausea and went to get them for you.”

Namjoo glanced into the nanny’s face both taken off guard and touched. Before anything else, seeing Kai’s kindness was a hard thing to believe, but hearing it from the woman who had raised him the moment he became a toddler was something else.

“He really looks out for you,” the nanny proudly told from her side. “Our Jongin has this romantic side to him he only shows once in a while. Let me tell you,” the woman pulled out the chair adjacent to her and sat down, “he may seem like a hardhead, but he has a really soft heart. That child is more than he appears. Trust me, dear, I know him. This old woman here has raised him. Just look at the man he's turned into. From the way he looks at you I can see that he cares. You're lucky and he's lucky. You two have each other.”

With a soft pat on her hand the woman said before getting up, “Finish your tea and go rest. I’ll finish up the rest of the cleaning. I wouldn't want your husband being angry with me for letting you do the extra work.”

Namjoo watched her leave and stared down at the cup of tea. The nanny might have a point but Namjoo wasn’t sure where it was that she stood. Everyone, including Kai, had been mean and vicious to her in order to get the marriage to go through. Yet, she had to admit he had been awkwardly kind to her here and there. Only, she didn’t know whether he was being sincere with her because she was Namjoo or because she wore the name Choonhee.

Lifting the cup up to her lips she took a sip of the tea. While sitting there in silence she wondered what she would do from now on. If she had this child there was a good chance he or she would grow up to look like Sehun. The thought panged her.

If only, she thought, if only she’d been better in Incheon and had been in better control. If she hadn’t gone with him at all to Incheon it wouldn’t have happened. Just thinking about it made her nerves turn cold and her mind flash with even greater panic.What was she supposed to do now?

Nervously rubbing her hand over a fist she stared out into the doorway. She really didn’t know. Part of her wanted to keep this child as a memory of Sehun but the other half of her wanted to believe she could live well here with Kai and Nanny Jung, even if she couldn’t be one-hundred-percent happy. It was still a good life where she could live being called Namjoo and not Choonhee. And she really liked that.

Her attention sprang out the doorway when the bell rang. Expecting Nanny Jung to answer it she remained seated, but the door rang again and again. Curious about the sudden visitor Namjoo stood up to make her way to the front door. When she opened it she discovered Sehun on the doorstep.