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Calm and collected were the few emotions running through him currently. Namjooo’s birthday was Wednesday. Earlier during the week he’d written it down on his calendar and kept a reminder in his phone.

What would Namjoo like? Jewelry? A bag?

Kai had never had a hard time finding a gift for a woman before. They had all been the same. It was a brand name purse, pretty clothes, or fine jewelry along with an expensive dinner and a glass of wine. They were easy to please but Namjoo was a different story. She couldn’t hold her alcohol and he didn’t think she knew much about jewelry to appreciate the beauty of diamonds, gems, and pearls.

It had taken him all night in order to recall those jeans she’d wanted when he last took her shopping. A significant trademark of who she was – he supposed. So here he was, buying a pair of jeans for her. The most simple and cheapest gift he’d ever give any woman. He was sure she’d like it with no doubt.

“Are you ready?” his mother knocked on his bedroom door.

Kai quickly spun around after sticking Namjoo’s gift into a gift bag along with some gift paper tissues. “I’m coming.”

Grabbing his jacket he walked out of the room closing the door after him.

Shortly after a half hour drive they arrived at Kingdom Hotel where they were appointed to look at the ballroom for the wedding reception. Namjoo was supposed to be arriving with her parents. Instead of heading inside he waited outside with his parents only to meet her parents scurrying toward him with unsettled expressions and pretentious smiles.

“You’re here?” Sungsik shook Lee Kwan’s hand.

“Where’s Choonhee?” his mother wondered looking around.

“Actually,” Eungi said, “she wasn’t in this morning. We can’t get in contact with her either. Maybe Kai knows something?”   

Kai almost raised his brow in question but smiled instead. “I’ll…I’ll call see. She must’ve had her own plans this morning and lost track of time.”

Trying his utmost best to appear assuring he turned away to call her. Behind him he could feel that the Lee’s were both anxious and nervous. Namjoo had disappeared yet again. Was she doing this on purpose? To get back at him? Rebel?

Kai listened to the phone ring and glanced behind him to see their parents chatting with each other in a state of confusion and uneasiness. Namjoo was practically setting up herself for hellish trouble, he could feel it.

“Answer dammit,” he grumbled. A second later he was sent to voicemail. Closing his eyes frustrated he let out a sigh. Gathering himself he loudly spoke intentionally so the adults could hear, “Choonhee, where are you? Cheonju? Why are you all the way there? You’re meeting up with a classmate? Oh…I see, that can’t be helped then. Let us know when you’ll be back.”

Hanging up he turned to walk back toward them.

“Was that Choonhee?” Eungi prodded.

He nodded. “A friend is about to go in labor in Cheonju, so she went to visit this morning and lost track of time.”

“Cheonju?” Lee Kwan repeated surprised. “I thought she was no longer in contact with Miju.”

“Ah…” Kai breathed, “it turned out she ended up there with a friend of a friend.”

“Then that can’t be helped,” his mother said.

“Lets head in. We’ve wasted a fair amount of time already,” his father suggested and walked toward the doors.

On the way in Kai couldn’t help but bite his lower lip, hoping his act had pulled off. He was uncertain Choonhee’s father believed him. A few minutes later they were led into an enormous ballroom with an ancient and gigantic diamond chandelier hanging in the center of the ceiling.

“We can fill the room up with round tables on both the right and left; one for the groom’s side of the family and the other for the bride’s. There’ll also be a platform upfront for the pastor and an artificial aisle for the bride to walk on…” the attendee explained to them professionally in the manner she was taught as she led them throughout the ballroom, but even as she went on with details Kai’s mind remained void of her voice. In fact, he was more perturbed with where Namjoo had disappeared off to more than he liked.

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On the drive to Incheon Sehun had held her hand the whole way, the other on the steering wheel. And it really did feel as if they were escaping everything, leaving behind all the troubles in Seoul. Nothing mattered anymore as long as they were together and happy.

Once they arrived he took them to a mart to shop for grocery. Inside there they playfully bantered over grocery and Namjoo even taught him how to pick out the best vegetables with what she learned from Tao. At the back of her head as they pushed the cart together through the store just to browse around, she wondered if this was how it was like being married.

When she glanced up at Sehun at her side everything just felt so right, so in place like it was all meant to be. Wrapping her arm around his she smiled gleefully.

An hour later they arrived at the flat he first brought her to on their supposed business trip. Now that she was back she felt as if she was looking at what could be their home in the future. A space just for the two of them, away from everyone. Nothing seemed changed but she could smell the scent of air freshener and wondered if the cleaning lady had come again as Hayoung mentioned before.

“Am I going to get to eat that special dish your friend taught you?” Sehun wondered clinging onto her from behind.

“I suppose,” she said, “but it might not be too good.”

“I’ll eat anything as long as you make it,” he kissed her cheek.

Namjoo turned around to glance at him with her heart bantering and touching his face leaned up to kiss him. She wanted to be held forever, by him, only him.

Cooking lunch was almost a disaster if not for Sehun helping her watch the stove. She did get a good laugh when he about her knife skills, but to realize that this was the first thing she was doing for him she wanted to put her whole heart into it.

Once the curry she copied from Tao thickened she tasted it. “Mmm! It does taste good! How did you fix it?”

“A little salt does the trick. I learned from cooking for you yesterday,” he told rubbing her head and tenderly kissed her temple. Laughing giddily to herself she felt his arm slid around her waist pulling her against him then his chin against her shoulder affectionately. His touches were so warm.  

“I think it’d be great if we could do this every day,” he confessed. Then snuggling against her he said again, “I love you.”

A grin grew on her face but a moment of silence washed over them. Namjoo was suddenly hit with the thought that maybe she should say it back. Yet, even as she tried opening to formulate the words they refused to come.

Why?

She liked him, she liked this. She wanted everything to remain forever with Sehun at her side, being her lover and supporter. But the words “I love you” wouldn’t come.

A fist plunged down into her chest and she reached up to hold the arm around her, as if to assure herself this was real.

As if realizing her feelings he continued, “I’m telling you because I want you to know not because I expect it from you.”

Her heart melted. She wanted to weep for him. He was so good to her.

“Did you know?” he asked softly into her ear, his breath bouncing across her skin. “I used to be a hardhead. I don’t believe in love at first sight – I never did, it’s foolish and stupid. Only naïve people believe it, but when I met you I knew something was different. I kept thinking about you. You’re the first to confuse me and I was frustrated because I didn’t know why.” He held her tighter. “But now I do. I love you. I love you.”

Turning to the side she felt his lips touch the corner of . Bliss entrenched her and she kissed him in reply, wanting him to know she didn’t feel any different even if she couldn’t tell him that she loved him.

Lunch turned out alright and they ate happily while stealing food from each other’s plates, feeding each other every few minutes. Happiness exploded into the air sweetly and every second of it had Namjoo sneaking each moment into her pocket. Once they cleared their food they took on to washing dishes together with his arms wrapped around her from behind, with his hand around hers as they worked.

Instead of heading outside to enjoy the blasting sun they curled up on the couch together to enjoy a television show, sharing a moment of silence as they relaxed together, and that was all that mattered. Being together.

The day drew to a quick end to her disappointment. After dinner on silent agreement they didn’t head back home. Once they washed the dishes Sehun went to wash up, leaving her to rest and enjoy the nighttime scenery outside the window. She was happy and couldn’t stop feeling that way, wanting to stay that way but reality was waiting.

No, she decided. She wouldn’t go through with what everyone had planned for Choonhee. That had been her fate, her life. None of it was her own and she wouldn’t go through with it. The urge to fight for what was hers grew so demandingly strong in Namjoo like never before. She was going to say it. She was going to scream it. She wouldn’t get married. She wouldn’t do it. She’d make them listen, let them hear her voice. More than ever she wanted what was her life back.

So immersed in her thoughts she only drifted back when Sehun embraced her from behind. “What are you thinking?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you sure?” he held her lovingly with his head against hers.

“Actually,” she professed, “I was thinking I like this.”

“Yea?” he breathed. “Me too. I like you, I like us, and this.”

Namjoo laughed and turned around to look up at him. He was handsome, striking, and not one bit scary like she used to think he was. His eyes were soft and the gaze in them was soulful. A hand touched his face and she smiled.

This was not a dream, she told herself, it was real and this moment was really hers to experience and savor. He was so special to her. Leaning up she tenderly gave him a kiss to express her gratitude to him for coming to her, for being the first to tell her his feelings and giving her this moment.

“I’ll go wash up,” Namjoo whispered before anything else might happen and hurried away. Once away in the bathroom she sighed cheerily and turned away to prepare for a shower.

With no change of clothes she slipped back into the purple dress that smelled like curry and Sehun. When she walked out the lights were dark except for a glowing ray of light coming from the bedside lamp. Sehun was already in bed and patted his empty bedside the moment she opened the door.

“Come lay down,” he said.

Climbing into the spot reserved for her she let him adjust the blanket over her and lay down comfortably on the pillow. It was a strange feeling in a good way; that she was back here in this same bed with him. More calm, more relaxed, and in control of herself.

“So this is how it is,” she heard him say and turned him. “To lay down with someone you love.” Sehun turned to smile at her then shifted onto his side. “I think I’ll sleep well tonight.”

An immediate grin crossed her face. “Me too.”

Shifting onto her side as well she stared into his eyes with the lights reflecting off them. He looked like some magical creature that had appeared in her dream. An unusually handsome one at that.

“Your dimple,” he reached over to tap it. “You should always smile. I love seeing you smile.”

“Should I?” she asked and watched him nod. “You too.”

“Hm?”

“Smile,” she said.

“No, I look weird when I do.”

“You don’t. I think you look charming.” And couldn’t help but laughed when he did.

“Charming,” he repeated satisfactorily. “You even know that.”

“Of course.” Namjoo stated. “I know a lot more than you might think.”

“That’s right,” he said, “I don’t know everything about you yet.”

“We’ll have time to learn about each other. I want to know more about you too.”

She felt his hand move down her body to hold her waist and nodded. “Of course we will. I know we will.”

She closed her eyes and smiled when he edged closer to kiss her. Then leaning over her to turn the lamp off he snuggled with her as they went to sleep.

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Morning arrived unfairly fast and they were back on the road home. Namjoo held Sehun’s hand tightly and securely, hoping that she would have the chance to do it again. Turning to peer at him she watched him turn and smile at her. Yes, everything would be alright. She was certain of it. She had to believe it.

“You can drop me off in front of the gates,” she told him. “I don’t want you to get in trouble being seen with me.”

“I should go in with you,” he urged.

Namjoo shook her head, “Don’t do that. I’ll be fine. They’re busy people. They might not notice I was even gone. Don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?” he worried.

Namjoo nodded and gripped his hand when he drove around the bend toward the Lee manor. Leaning over to give her a peck on the cheek he said, “Give me a call when you get in.”

“I promise,” she said and unbuckled her seatbelt, her will unwilling to step out from the car. Turning to him while keeping her anxiety at bay she leaned over to kiss his lips once more and forced herself out of his car. Waving sadly at him she turned and forced herself to unlock the gates that would lead her to the house of doom.

Once the heavy metal closed behind her she bravely started toward the house, preparing herself for her speech. She needed confidence, strength, and determination – none that she had ever felt before. She needed to be strong and get her way. She couldn’t fail. She couldn’t. Her life as Kim Namjoo and her happiness was awaiting her and she needed to reach the finish line.

The house was utterly quiet when she walked in. Her chest felt tight when she looked around for any sign of Choonhee’s parents. They weren’t in the lounge room or the kitchen. There was no sign of Auntie Shin either. For a moment Namjoo felt safe.

That was until the door down the hall clicked and Choonhee’s stoic father stepped out. “You’re home?”

Spinning around surprised she turned to look at him. An immediate fear crept up her spine at his bone chilling greeting and fought not to let her eyes sway. It would give away that she was nervous.

“Lets talk,” he walked away from the office door, leaving it open for her. With no choice Namjoo slowly stepped forward clutching onto her purse.

His office was cold and manly and she saw that Eungi was in there as well, seated beside his desk sitting calmly. The gaze in her eyes was malicious and foreboding. Namjoo’s shoulders immediately felt heavy.

Closing the door she stepped forward. Lee Kwan had not sat down but stood there staring at her with deep eyes of scorn. Namjoo fought to keep the determination she had come with. Remember the happiness with Sehun she reminded herself and how much you want it.

“Where were you?” he asked.

“I…” she stammered unable to think of anything.

“Did you go to Cheonju?”

“Wh…what?” Namjoo asked nervously. When she caught that unmistakeable heated glare in his eyes she knew she shouldn’t have said that.    

“So you weren’t,” he stated. “Where did you go?”

“I…I don’t think I need to tell you.” Her voice uncontrollably shook.

A loud smack echoed through the room. His slap compared to his wife was like a baseball bat breaking a window. Namjoo stumbled back from the force of his hand and felt her face go immediately red.

“You will tell me where you were and who you were with.” he steely demanded. “Did you forget that you’re getting married?! How dare you intentionally forget about the appointment yesterday, insolent !”

Namjoo’s jaw shook and she glanced up at him fearfully. Tears threatened to appear and she struggled to keep them at bay.

“I won’t ask you again,” his voice was cold and his eyes mean, “where were you?”