Speedily stepping back she pinched her nose and exclaimed, “What the hell?!”

“I’m even more shocked you’re capable of being so dirty,” he said and watched her spin around to shoot him an absurd stare. “It’s your fault, so you should clean it up.”

“What?!” gaped open in disbelief.

“You don’t remember?” he asked with a shake of his head.

“Remember what?” she questioned, not making effort to hide her annoyance which he dismissed.

“Yesterday, when I sent you home.” he stated but Choonhee only stared back at him blankly. Then his tone became dull as he stated, “You don’t remember.”

She scoffed, “Are you playing around right now?” His brows twitched. “You’re saying you sent me home?”

Sehun narrowed his eyes, observing her again, as if he might have come across the wrong person. Crossing his arms he verified, “Yes. I took you home. You were so out of it I couldn’t let you embarrass yourself.”

Her frown grew even deeper, doubting him. Sehun stared back, wondering if she remembered anything at all from last night but her puzzled gaze was his answer. He was irked that she couldn’t remember the kiss with him. But oh well. It very well suited having her over right now.

Continuing on with the lie he said, “So you clean up the stench you left behind. You should thank me for getting rid of your vomit.” Then muttered, “How gross.”

He glanced away trying to remain serious and he was glad she didn’t seem to be catching onto his scheme. When he glanced back at her she was staring at the seat, trying to dig up whatever memory she may have of the night before.

“I’ll get you gloves, some towels, and spray.” He told her then turned to walk back into the house, a devilish smile jumping onto his face.

\\\\\

What the hell was she actually doing? Namjoo groaned underneath her breath. Her current posture was kneeling on one knee, half her body in the car, hand furiously scrubbing the seat and her other holding onto the chair in order to keep her balance. The urge to gag was strong and damn Sehun hadn’t taken to offering her a mask.

She couldn’t figure out what the hell he wanted from her. Calling her over for this. ! Was he kidding her? That spoiled thing.

Namjoo was so frustrated and stressed she had to fight with herself to not kick at his car. She was worried about the engagement Kai mentioned. Just now she was determined to leave this crappy world behind and return to the streets, hide from Hayoung and these two others that kept probing into her – Choonhee’s life.

Choonhee was supposed to be the one to get engaged, not her and she wouldn’t do it in her place. Never! If there was one thing she never forgot from the very beginning, whether Hayoung had to remind her or not; it was that this life was not hers. She was Kim Namjoo, orphaned, and stupid. She liked spicy food, sleeping in, and street vendor foods. She had never been graced by wealth or handsome men. She had been the target of thieves and had gotten into scuffles with them.

That was the Kim Namjoo she was. Not a rich girl.

“I heard you weren’t home earlier.” Sehun spoke up from behind her.

“What does it have to do with you?” she muttered underneath her breath.

“You were with Kai.” It was indeed a statement.

The mention of him made her stop scrubbing and she didn’t realize doing so made Sehun pay even more attention to her. Biting her lower lip she continued scrubbing, ignoring him.

“I’m right.” He said.

Namjoo scrubbed even harder, grabbed the spray and sprayed it around inside his vehicle. Today she was overwhelmed and lost by Choonhee’s journal and Kai’s proposal. She had no idea what she should do. There were so many uncertainties and so many possibilities.

She didn’t want to think. She didn’t want to deal with it.

“You’re going to get engaged, aren’t you?” he asked.

She had known something was up. She had felt it that morning. Why in the world hadn’t she listened to her intuition?

Now…now Kai was expecting something. An answer she couldn’t give because it wasn’t her place to say it. What right did she have to take an answer from Choonhee’s mouth and say it through her own?

There was none. This wasn’t her responsibility. She was just Lee Choonhee’s long lost twin. That was it. That was all she was. This wasn’t her problem.

But now it was.

She’d stolen Choonhee’s identity.

The emotions of conflict soared through her like a roller coaster.

What should she do?

“Why would you do it?” Sehun went on. “Do you really love him?”

Tightening her grip on the towel in her hand she stood to her feet and turned around to look at him. “What does it have to do with you?!” Stepping closer to him she asked, frustrated. “I asked, what does it have to do with you?!”

His eyes narrowed. She continued to stare up at him with defiance, waking up from her moment of distress when he gripped her arm.

“Because I’m telling you not to.”

A wave of surprise splashed through her from the words before tugging her arm out of his hand. “Why should I listen to you? Who are you to tell me what to do?”

“Because you’re being a fool. Don’t be stupid, Choonhee.”

“Then tell me, explain to me how exactly I’m being stupid because I know nothing,” Namjoo hissed. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?!”

Sehun slightly frowned, as if her irritation mirrored exactly his. Ignoring her he ordered, “Go clean my car.”

Biting her lower lip suddenly angry, Namjoo tossed the towel onto the ground and took her gloves off throwing them down as well in her fit of rage.

“You know what? You go do it by yourself,” she muttered hotly. “Go buy those air fresheners every rich person owns and stick it in your car!”

Turning on her heels she stomped toward the road and hailed a cab. After getting dropped off at a random intersection she roamed the streets, watching the sky go from gloomy gray to stark black. She didn’t want to go to Choonhee’s house but she had no place to head back to either.

Namjoo hated to admit that she was stuck between both worlds, belonging nowhere. She wasn’t Choonhee or Namjoo. Plopping down at a random stall she ordered some cheap noodles for dinner and ate it alone while trying to cool down. If she could stop panicking and trying to do everything the way Choonhee had, she might be able to focus on herself and think of a solution.

She sighed in detestation. In the mere count of a few days she was already forgetting herself.

Calm down…but it was harder than said. She was agitated because she was nervous and anxious every day, wondering if she’d be discovered or not, if she’d be found out by a mistake. Namjoo realized she didn’t want to deal with being discovered, because she had no idea how she would defend or protect herself. What kind of things would she say? Who would believe her, someone they didn’t know? If she put the blame on Hayoung, would they question her or not because she’d been with them so long?

Namjoo feared the consequences.

She was just a penniless nobody. No one cared about her.

What was she supposed to do?

After eating she sat a while before getting up when the owner shooed her away. Finally grabbing a cab she watched in dread as the Lee manor appeared in view. Seconds later she was walking up the long driveway toward the house that was not her home.

It was Hayoung, not Choonhee’s parents who met her at the doorway.

“Back so late,” Hayoung greeted. “Did you eat?”

She actually sounded nice for once. And Namjoo hoped the girl would leave her alone the rest of the night. There was already enough issues to sort out that she didn’t want to deal with more.

After she nodded Hayoung said, “Good. Then lets go talk upstairs. I have some things to say.”

Namjoo watched her turn and walk away, her heart sinking inside her chest. Something was up. Something that wasn’t good.

Left with no choice since she’d returned, Namjoo obediently followed, like a dog. When she entered Choonhee’s room and the door closed she saw Hayoung walking over to the picture of Choonhee she’d set on the desk a few days ago.

“So you found it,” she said. “How does it feel like to look at your own reflection?”

Instead of answering Namjoo asked, “What do you want to talk about?”

After the picture somewhat affectionately Hayoung turned to look at her. “I heard you and Kai had a little date today.”

Namjoo pursed her lips. Today, she decided, wasn’t a good day for her.

“Do it.” Hayoung said. “Get engaged with him.”

Her eyes inched wide. “Hayoung…”

“You want a new life, didn’t you? You have it. As Lee Choonhee, start over and live the way you want.”

The shock literally slapped her in the face and she felt the world zoom in around her. “No!”

“Why?” Hayoung sounded calm. “Look at this room. Look at all Choonhee has or should I say had? It’s yours now.”

“No! I won’t!” Namjoo shook her head furiously. “Are you crazy?! You said I could leave after the merge stabilized. I want to go back, now.”

Hayoung smiled. “I made some adjustments to our plan. Looks like you’ll be staying longer than we thought.”

Alarm trickled through every part of her. Namjoo found herself yelling, “You can’t do this to me! You can’t go back on your words! You promised me!”  

“The money I promised you isn’t as much as what Choonhee can give you. Think about it Namjoo. You can have a lifetime’s worth of money under Choonhee. What is better than that?”

“No,” she shook her head again, her insides welling up with intense refusal and even more frustration than she ever dealt with before. It felt like she was talking to a wall. A volcano was exploding inside her. “I don’t want to get engaged!”

Hayoung’s eyes grew hard. She hissed, “Did I give you a choice? If I tell you to do it, you do it.”

Namjoo breathlessly scoffed. “No. I won’t do it.”

Walking toward her near the limit of her patience Hayoung grabbed her arm, tugging her forward. Looking her threateningly in the eyes, like a snake on its prey she warned, “You will, because you’re Lee Choonhee. And Choonhee doesn’t disappoint.”

Namjoo felt her lips tremble under the tension, the authority that Hayoung seemed to wield over her so menacingly.

“It won’t be a good thing for the world to know that Kim Namjoo knew of her sister’s death and did nothing, then decided to take her identity, tricking everyone around her. It’s called fraud, you know. No one deserves prison time.” Hayoung whispered. Then she stared her straight in the eyes.

Namjoo gulped. Fear clogged and her chest became heavy. It was difficult to relax even a part of her. The mental weight of the guilt and the threat was becoming a larger burden. She couldn’t breathe under the pressure. It felt as if Hayoung was grabbing the throat of her soul.

“Lee Choonhee will say yes to the engagement. She will get married and live happily ever after.”

Shoving her away and with one last look at her, Hayoung opened the door and walked out. Namjoo swallowed, her lips suddenly going dry. Reaching up she clutched onto her shirt in utter disbelief with what was happening.

\\\\\

Sleep was not nice to her that night. Namjoo tossed and turned the majority of that night. Her mind continued to run anxiously. She even dreamt of getting married to Kai, every part of her unwillingly walking the steps of her sister. The dread, the sense that her life was over, the foreboding end to her freedom, and the trepidation of being handcuffed to her sister’s life filled her with terrifying sadness and hate. None of which she ever experienced before. 

Namjoo awoke from the nightmare, her heart ing against her ribs so hard that her bones ached.

She didn’t want this.

Unable to sleep at the light of dawn she crept out of bed, went downstairs, and sat down alone in the kitchen with a glass of water, hoping to calm her unsettled nerves. She needed someone to listen to her. She needed to talk to someone. She wanted someone who was capable of helping her.

After a moment of rubbing her forehead she lifted her head up.

Right. There was a person.

Tao.

Racing back upstairs she found it sitting on her bed and hastily grabbed it. Searching through the list she pressed on the button to call him, anxiously waiting for him to pick up.

His tired voice came on, croaking with dryness, “Choonhee…why are you calling so early?”

“You…” she spoke, her mind a muddled mess. Namjoo fought to sort out the words. “Where are you?”

He moaned, “I’m at home. Where would I be?”

“Where…where do you live?”

“Why are you asking…”

“Where do you live? I need to come see you.”

There was a slight moment of silence as he sunk in the urgency of her voice. The second after getting his address down Namjoo stripped out of her pajamas and rushed into the closet to throw on clothes. Once dressed she sought for the only pair of tennis shoes Choonhee owned, silently cursing the sister for her love of heels. Hurrying out of the house Namjoo raced down the driveway and got into the cab she’d called for.

\\\\\

On the other side of a fish soup restaurant stood a tiny blue trailer home, its blue shade fading with age. The windows were covered with cheap yellow curtains. To the right stood a manmade tent, underneath it a hot red motorcycle. The long yard consisted of not grass but cracked concrete with a tiny garbage bin standing against the home. In front of her were a couple of clotheslines with sheets, towels, clothes, shirts, and jeans out to dry.

It wasn’t too shabby or run down. A place she would have liked to live if Hayoung never found her. Stepping forward Namjoo heard water splashing up ahead. Reaching out to push aside the long blue sheet being blown with the wind she walked toward the noise. After five more steps she spotted Tao up and about, moving dirty clothes from one bucket to another filled with what she assumed was cold soapy water.

A sudden homesickness flurried through her, like an illness and she wished so much that Choonhee had never come to her. Namjoo watched Tao work, immersed in his chore. Now that she was looking at him again she saw that he was tall and lanky, a bit thin but not too much, which obviously meant he had some money to keep his life well going. Then she wondered what he did for a living and envied him.

His dark black hair shone underneath the morning sun healthily and for a moment, began wondering in awe about how Choonhee befriended him. Was it pity the rich girl felt for him? Or was t something else?

Namjoo was shaken to reality when Tao noticed her. “Ah…Choonhee. You’re here?”

And looking at him again for what felt like the first time, felt her heart melt in gratefulness that Choonhee had made this kind of friend; leaving him for her. There was no one else to go to. She needed someone.

Tao would listen to her, wouldn’t he?

“Why do you look like that?” he wondered, his eyes both curious and full of worry. Then stepping away from his clothes, straightened up to look at her.

“You called so suddenly I was surprised,” he said. “Do you want to sit? I’ll bring a chair out for you.”

When he turned to start toward his trailer home she stopped him. “I need your help.”

She watched him turn to look at her and found herself pleading with the earth to let him be the one to listen. If he wouldn’t, she had no one else.

“Choonhee, what…”

“I’m,” Namjoo started, staring him right in the eyes, “not Choonhee.”