Drenched in sweat Namjoo was still forced to put on a smile in order to look respectful. Even if she wanted to escape she had been barred from it. Friday hours had ended successfully and Namjoo was intent on taking that bubble bath she so dearly wanted to try out. In one of Choonhee’s drawers in the bathroom she’d discovered a bottle of untouched bubble bath formula that smelled like cherry blossoms.

Instead, Kai had pulled her along with him, an arm locked over her shoulders. She had to go, he said, everyone was waiting for her. It was a celebration for a successful first week of the merge. Everyone will be there – some stock holders, board members; basically the old bunch.

That meant one thing for Namjoo. They would be drinking and God, she couldn’t hold her alcohol. What she dreaded most were hangovers, which in her case, were always severe ones. But Choonhee, unlike her, was a good drinker. She recalled Kai telling her that.

Why, of all things, did she and Choonhee have to be so very different but so identical in appearance?

They were at a bar and grill restaurant, a long table in front of them with portable grills at the center of the table. The meat smelled deliciously good with a variety of side foods and cabbage to wrap the meat with all set out along the table in their own individual tiny glass bowls. Namjoo only obviously wanted the food, but the old men were joyfully passing around drinks.

“I heard you worked really hard this week,” an elderly man encouraged, “keep up the good work. In soon time, you probably won’t even have to worry about it.”

Nodding in thanks Namjoo watched dreadfully as he poured her a glass of alcohol and wanted to make a face of disgust. Her body was going to refuse the alcohol, she knew it. As the male slid the glass toward her she could feel the alcohol burn . It would go down and her stomach would churn. She would then have the urge to vomit. But Choonhee had an image she’d been given – or had created for herself – Namjoo couldn’t figure it out, and it was her job to keep the charade up. At least until Hayoung declared her free.

“Drink up,” the man smiled at her.

The pressure was on. Namjoo could feel piles of bricks building up on her shoulders, her hand unwillingly reaching for the glass. Her insides cried, her mind begged her not to take it. But she couldn’t say no. There were other men, who all seemed well acquainted with Kai, waiting to share drinks with her.

What did they want from her?

Biting her tongue, Namjoo lifted the glass up and turned to the side to gulp it down, wanting to scream as it slid down . She turned when the old man laughed gleefully and forced herself to smile.

\\\\\

“You’re here! Come sit down!” old man Shin called out for him, an am outstretched waving for him to urgently go join them.

Sehun nodded when he walked into the restaurant and glanced at the third table where he spotted Choonhee talking joyously with some board members. They were obnoxiously loud and all seemed buzzed. His eyes sat on the empty bottles of alcohol before finding his seat a table away.

“You have to hurry up and catch up,” the old man said, quickly pouring him a drink when he sat down. Nodding politely with a smile Sehun reached for the glass and slightly turned back to see Choonhee still laughing with the others before lifting it up to his lips.

Some time had passed and it was a little quieter now. A few of the men were starting to leave but meat was still being brought out to the tables. Smog was still rising into the air and Sehun was still glued to his seat, listening to old man Shin talk about some conflict at work. He listened heartlessly, the words entering one ear and out the other. Looking back he spotted Choonhee now alone, slouched over with her face buried in her hands. She looked unsteady, severely drunk.

His eyes dove around the room but he didn’t spot Kai anywhere. Turning around with a slightly dizzy head he stared at the table no longer grilling meat. Part of him wanted to go to her but the other half worried about what the board members would say. One of the last things he needed on his hand was the board members gossiping about his friendship with Kai coming to ruins. No matter the bout he still had to look good as a representative of the company.

Grabbing a piece of dry cabbage he stuffed it into his mouth and chewed distastefully. Turning around again he caught Choonhee dozing off, her head repeatedly swinging back and forth as she fought to remain awake in her drunken state.

Stay seated or get up. Stay seated or get up?

Giving in, Sehun raised his hand to gesture that he was going to leave and stood up. Heading over to Choonhee’s empty table he crouched down and patted her shoulder for attention.

“Hey,” he called, “you ok?”

She groaned but didn’t lift her head up. Choonhee wasn’t one to get drunk easily. He didn’t think he ever saw her drunk before. She did enjoy socializing and have some drinks for fun, but she never out from it. Tonight she once again seemed different but he didn’t let that worry him.

“Come on, I’ll take you home,” he offered, grabbing her arm to help her up. As he pulled her to her feet she muttered incomprehensible words and leaned against him with all her weight.

“Goodness,” he mumbled, dragging her alongside him to his car outside. In her drunken state she continued to babble, her tone of voice ranging from frustration to anger then to amusement, but he couldn’t understand a word coming through .

Rolling his eyes he struggled to pull open the passenger door open and helped her into the seat. She shot back against the chair with a thud and suddenly began hitting his back while laughing and kicking her legs.

“Ah!” he shouted then screamed louder when she started hitting him harder. Quickly backing out he stared at her with an angry frown. “Crazy woman.”

Slamming the door close he walked around the car and got into his seat behind the wheel and started the engine. Choonhee had gone quiet now. When he looked at her she looked asleep in the chair with her head twisted to the side. It looked uncomfortable and he wanted to fix her posture but he didn’t want to wake her and deal with another drunken fit of hers. He was tired and it was barely two in the morning.

Leaning over he pulled the seatbelt around her and clicked it in before driving off onto the road.

\\\\\

Returning from the bathroom Kai expected to find Choonhee waiting for him. He planned to call it a night and return her home, but she wasn’t at her table. Worried, he quickly peered around the room before inquiring an older gentleman about her.

“Ah…I think Sehun took her home. Isn’t that right?”     

“Yes. I saw them head out together.”

His brows creased together and walking away from the noisy table pulled his phone out. For a minute he listened to her phone rang endlessly, attempting once, twice, and thrice. No one picked up. Kai was urged to follow them but he didn’t want to be making a scene in the middle of the night.

“What are you doing?” one of the men called. “Come sit down. I heard your father has plans about acquiring new land to start an eco-friendly project.”

\\\\\

It was only when Sehun pulled up in front of the gates to Choonhee’s house that he realized she didn’t have her bag with her. He felt for the keys in her pockets but they weren’t there and wondered if he’d forgotten to grab her purse back at the restaurant.

Falling back into his seat with a loud sigh he leaned his head back against the head rest and rubbed his closed eyes. He was so exhausted but Choonhee was out cold and he couldn’t just ditch her here. Everyone else was asleep too and he didn’t want to bother them. Sehun realized he could have just easily rung the doorbell, but he didn’t.

Turning, he glanced in her direction. She was well asleep and he didn’t want to wake her up but he didn’t want her barfing in his car if it came down to it. Sighing, he pushed the door open and stepped out. After opening her door he unbuckled the seatbelt and helped her to her feet. Still deep in her drunken state with her head hung forward she clung onto him.

Sehun barely stumbled back after kicking the door shut and listened to her heels tap against the concrete before his balance stabilized. He listened to her mutter something again and leaned in. “What?”

She muttered incoherently again and he frowned, almost sure he caught the word home. 

“I can’t hear you,” he said then pressed his ear near her lips. “Say it again.”

“I want to go home,” she sounded nostalgic and sad.

“I know. We’re in front of your house.” He assured.

Lifting her head back she looked up at him, her brows contorted and her eyes angry, as if he didn’t understand what she wanted. Frustrated, she grasped onto his blazer tightly and repeated with a raised voice, “I said I want to go home!”

Their eyes caught. Like earlier, he thought about how unlike the Choonhee he knew. The things he felt around her was always catching him off guard and it was so very different. It was as if Choonhee had gone somewhere in the middle of the night, coming to him in another exact form just from a different planet. How to describe it?

She looked distressed and he couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. At the back of his head a voice mocked him, for he had never felt sorry for Lee Choonhee before. This time he could feel something deep from within his chest igniting – a hole, an emptiness, a sense of longing for something. And it felt like something was missing that made him yearn for something indescribable.

Lee Choonhee was the spitting image of a lost girl, confused, sad, and angry. Though why she would feel that way, he wasn’t very sure. Everything seemed perfect in her world. There was that guy Kai who was planning to settle down with her, she had money, and everyone wanted her – that he considered not a bad thing at all. Lee Choonhee’s environment was as perfect as could be without a single flaw.

Yet, the Choonhee before him stood apart differently. And he didn’t know how that worked.

An air of peace swirled around them and he thought maybe it was that upset gaze in her eyes. Without order, he placed his hand around her face, cupping her cheek and felt his eyes grow mellow. Out of the blue Choonhee looked more awake than she had been all night. As he leaned forth his eyes narrowly close. The tip of their noses brushed before he parted his lips and kissed her.

Her grasp on his blazer loosened. His heart beat erratically when she pursed around his. The feeling hit him once more about how different it was kissing her now from when he never wanted to touch her. Was it possible that time had the ability to change the essence of one’s feelings?

He could feel it. The satisfaction plunging into his heart, his mind drowning in the touch of her and that the overall sense of attraction was increasing in height. A gasp zipped out of his lips when Choonhee’s head slowly swung back in her sleep. Before she fell back he quickly caught her within his arms and held her against him.

A very warm sensation warped through his entire whole, making him both uncomfortable and happy. He let the moment drone on, enjoying every second of it and finally called for Hayoung a minute later.

As he waited for her to come unlock the door for them he pulled Choonhee up onto the trunk of his car, where he sat with her leaning against him, her face buried into his shoulder while she snoozed. Her breaths evened out over the minutes becoming his source of calm. At last he was more wide awake, overwhelmed by an urgency to star gaze.

Was this how it was to be romantic? He wondered about it. Sehun’s attention turned when bright headlights beamed his way and Hayoung pulled over to the side of the road.

“Are you crazy? Do you know what time it is?!” she began scolding the second she stepped out from her car.

“Shh!” he hushed her with a finger up to his lips. “Can you unlock the door? Lets bring her inside first.”

He watched her stare back at him, an irate frown growing over her expression when she spotted Choonhee sleeping soundly.

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Pulling the covers aside he gently laid Choonhee down onto the bed and carefully tucked her in, taking a last glimpse of her before turning around to see Hayoung’s heated gaze on him. On the way up with Choonhee in his arms he had felt her eyes burning into the back of his head.

Shooting him a single glare she swerved around to walk out, expecting him to follow. He did. When he walked out Hayoung spun around to look at him. “Are you crazy?”

“What?”

She bit her lower lip, “You called me in the middle of the night to unlock the freaking door for you? Or did you want me to see you being lovey-dovey with her?!”

“Hayoung…”

“Don’t,” she hissed. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m not.”

“You sure you aren’t?” she contradicted, her tone angry. “You drove here with Choonhee from the gathering and sat outside her home while waiting for me to come to your bidding! And she –” Hayoung her finger out toward the bedroom door, “are you kidding me? The you I know wouldn’t go to this extent. You don’t care.”

She scoffed at him. Staring back at her he couldn’t help but doubt himself. His head was still spinning but he was sure he still had very good self-control. But she was right too. He, never in his right mind, would go to this extent for Choonhee.

Maybe he was drunk.  

“You’re drunk. You’re confused.” She told him. “I’ll drive you home.”

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Five in the morning Namjoo woke up sick to the stomach and vomited every ten minutes until she was lying in bed feeling dead and beat. Her stomach was as empty as ever but even having water would make her feel like throwing up again. In the end she fell asleep for another hour only waking up when Kai called her.

He sounded so chirpy and excited for the trip she felt bad for being hung over. “It looks like it’ll rain today, but we can still risk it and have a picnic. Don’t you think so?”

“Yea, sure,” rolling over onto her back she closed her eyes and pressed the back of her hand over her forehead. She actually didn’t want to get up at all.

“How do you feel if I come get you in two hours or so?”

“Sounds good.” Namjoo replied.

“Good. I’ll see you then.”

Tossing the phone aside Namjoo groaned and drowsily laid there for fifteen more minutes. Finally pulling herself up she walked into the bathroom, took a long shower under the warm water, and finally walked into the closet to get dressed.

Unsure about what to wear Namjoo pushed aside the variety of clothes that belonged to Choonhee, deciding she’d put on whatever her eyes landed on. That was when something dropped down from behind the clothes, landing onto the floor with a loud smack. Peering down she spotted the shoebox she’d forgotten all about a few days ago. The contents inside had spilt out.

This time, Namjoo reached for the plain brown journal with a large spiral binding first. Flipping to the first page she scanned over the entry, which sounded like a happy young girl. Namjoo could even imagine her sunny voice bouncing off the walls. Choonhee had decided to start the journal to keep her memories written down so she could come back to them later in old age, even drawing an infamous smiley face.

Figuring it wasn’t anything very important she skipped a few pages, randomly reading entries along the way. Choonhee had neat simplistic handwriting very different from her messy careless one. A faint smile sat on her lips the entire time, only disappearing when she landed on an entry on the 4^th of May 2014.

“I realized I don’t feel the same anymore. How much worth is money that it can touch the heart even more than the actions of a human being? I don’t want it. But what should I do? Will Sehun understand if I talk to him?”

Namjoo quickly flipped to the next page dating 16^th of May 2014:

“I knew it. Sehun doesn’t know my thoughts. He can’t agree with me. I don’t want to be hurt anymore. No one will listen to me, I feel like I have no voice. I’m only a ghost crying for help. I want to give up, I want fly free somewhere. I want to go to a place where I don’t have to weigh everything. I just want to be free, so why is it like this? What do I do?”

The next page; 20^th of May 2014:

“I may have screwed up. I’m so scared.”

Quickly turning to the next page; 28 of May 2014:

“Today Jongin finally confessed to me. I think I’ll finally go to him. I think I love him and I have no other choice, but I am still scared. What if he hurts me? Will he hurt me? I pray to God that He will watch over me. This is the first time I am doing something I want. Please let this work. I really want to be happy.”

The next page was blank so were the many other pages after it. Namjoo’s heart rammed against her chest. What did these things mean?

What had happened?!

***Oops...actually this wasn't supposed to be up yet but oh well. Double update I guess :\ I was gonna save this for tomorrow. I spent so much time on this