Namjoo sobbed and lifted her head up to look at him. As if ashamed to admit it he turned to look away.

“Everyone is an opportunist,” Kai focused his gaze on the ground, “Sehun, Hayoung, my parents, Choonhee’s parents, and Sehun’s. Choonhee too. We were brought up that way or we became that. Pressure, need, and being brought up that way made us turn out like this. You, who grew up on the streets, were able to live your own life. You were free, we weren’t.

“You see, I was taught about how to keep my mouth shut; that my reputation stands before all else. My reputation is made up of my family, how I will look in front of the camera, how capable I can become, and how powerful. Meaning, how much money I can make and hold is all the importance – the only thing important. Sehun is no different than me. He lives under his father; he’s to carry out their name as their son. It’s his responsibility, his duty. He’s forever held on restraints, very much like me. He has no choice but to continue making money because his father never had much. Ambition can be scary.

“When there’s a chance to snag millions, we’re taught to compete for it. Choonhee just ended up being the number one everyone wanted. You heard, you know. Sehun used her love to try to win her money. When she saw through I took my chance. And it…turned out like this.

“Namjoo, I told you before; that in order to survive here you need to care about yourself first before you can think about anyone else. I’m sorry that you got entangled in this mess. Really.”

He turned to look at her, watching the tears flow quietly.

Then he stood and turned away. “We have our wedding photo shoot this weekend. If you’re not feeling better, let me know. I can cancel it.”

Taking the tray he walked out and as soon as the door closed he heavily sighed and leaned against it, wishing he would have never said that to her.

\\\\\

“Look, who’s here!” Eungi chimed walking into the kitchen to discover Kai at the table.

“Did you come see Choonhee?” Lee Kwan asked sitting down at the dinner table filled with plenty of dishes.

“She was sleeping,” Kai lied. “So I didn’t get to talk with her.”

“Is that so?” her father asked. Then with a nod he urged, “Lets eat.” Turning he called, “Auntie Shin, please get our son-in-law a plate.”

“No, it’s alright,” Kai shook his head. “I told her not to set one for me.”

“What…why?” Eungi asked. “Don’t tell me you’re not planning to stay?”

He tried to politely smile. “I went to work, ate, and came back.” He watched the of surprise on Choonhee’s parents’ faces. “Actually, I just wanted to say something to father.”

“Me?” Lee Kwan asked then laughed haughtily and smiled. “What is it? Go on. Say anything you want. This old man will listen.”

Kai firmly pressed his lips together, ridding his expression of anything polite. Looking at the man calmly he warned grimly, “Please, don’t touch her again. If I see even a bruise on her, I can put you through court for abuse.”

Sliding out of his chair he stood up and with a slight bow turned to leave.

\\\\\

Namjoo didn’t return to work that week but she didn’t contact him about cancelling the wedding shoot. After giving her a call to which she gave no response he arrived that Saturday morning and waited outside. The front doors opened a minute later and Namjoo stepped out with sunglasses on. Opening the door she slid into the passenger’s seat without a word. Turning away he stepped on the accelerator and they were off.

An hour and a half later they arrived at the studio where they were to get makeup done and into their outfits before the photographer arrived. He realized Namjoo had light makeup on in order to conceal the bruise slowly disappearing on her face and watched her walk away into the dressing room with the stylist. He was sorry but thankful.

It didn’t require much time to get dressed into his black tux, so while waiting he wandered through the basement of the studio where they were to get the photo shoot done. In actually, he would have liked to get the pictures done outdoors but seeing that Namjoo’s condition was not well he had switched it at the last minute. A few homey stages had been set up for them and looking them over made him realize how fast the wedding was coming up. Everything would turn out alright.

Heading upstairs he sat down on the green Victorian couch and checked his watch while waiting. They were attending a board member’s anniversary party that evening. He hoped Namjoo wouldn’t be too worn out before then. In such a short amount of time her health was declining. Was it the stress of Choonhee’s environment? He worried. She had been constantly nauseas and then now a fever.

Footsteps made him look up. He slowly rose to his feet when Namjoo appeared from around the corner with the maid carefully carrying the trail of her wedding dress. His eyes instinctively ran up the sight of her, drowning in the elegance flowing off her. Kai gulped as his heart beat eccentrically at the sight, the dress hugging Namjoo’s body to her beautiful face and hair.  A fairy, a goddess, she was beyond magical. The silver tiara his mother so wanted sat on her head perfectly.

Deep down inside he was touched. Here, Namjoo was standing in front of him. She had come with him. She was here. In that moment he didn’t know how to react.

Namjoo’s eyes darted to and fro. When they finally met his he smiled.

Before they headed down the stairs he held his hand out and waited patiently. The soft of Namjoo’s small hands touched his palm and wrapping his fingers around it helped her down. He was happy, even if he couldn’t say it.

The photographer, a middle aged man heavy all around greeted them happily with a handshake. As it started they were directed to sit down together on the long bench by the wall. The stylist helped Namjoo pull her legs up so she was half lying down. Fixating the trail of the dress prettily around her legs the stylist exited the scene. Kai felt himself grow shyly warm when the photographer directed Namjoo to place her hands around his shoulders and lean into him.

Kai found his eyes darting back and forth as he sat stiffly before he finally drawing some courage to turn and look at her. The second their gazes met their eyes quickly averted from each other’s awkwardly.

The photographer let out a groan, “What are you two? Groom, why don’t you hold onto the bride’s hands? Yes, the one on your shoulder. Then look into each other’s eyes lovingly and deeply.”

Kai hesitated before placing his hand onto Namjoo’s. For some reason he was more tense, more nervous than ever before. Pressing his lips to calm himself he finally turned to look into her eyes, their foreheads barely touching. She smelled pretty, looked pretty. His heart thudded unexplainably. And before he knew it he felt into those orbs.

It felt like a miracle the first minute when Namjoo stared back without her eyes swaying, as if she was feeling the same way he was. Immersed. The camera flashed and he woke up from the daze. Namjoo blinked and looked away.

“Bride, groom, smile!” the photographer called.

His heat fluctuated when she looked into his again and situated her chin onto his hand gently. Growing warm with awe he watched Namjoo pull her lips up to smile and stared, taken by the sight of them. She was ethereal.

The sight of the smile made him gleeful. In turn his lips twitched before he slowly smiled in return, gazing deeply into her brown eyes. This time he wasn’t even aware of the camera flashing until the photographer shouted for them to change sets.

Pulling his hand back a bit disappointed he turned away to breathe then abruptly turned when Namjoo barely fell. Fast to his feet he helped pull her up realizing that her heels brought her up to his height. Their eyes met again before he quickly turned away panged by an uncomfortable shyness.

“Are…are you ok?” he asked.

“Yes,” she nodded.

Releasing her he turned his attention to the photographer suddenly wondering how long this was going to take. If it weren’t for his mom who kept nagging about wedding photos he wouldn’t have bothered. Now he was both a little annoyed but more thankful that his mom had nagged.

The rest of the photo shoots were less painful for they didn’t require eye contact and some were solo shoots. Then came the last where Namjoo was handed a white bouquet to hold.

“Now if the groom could hug the bridge from behind,” the photographer directed.

He noticed Namjoo glance at him before he noticed the daring V-cut at her back, and suddenly wondered why he’d picked this dress for her if not to torture himself. Looking away he stepped up behind her and slowly wrapped his hands around her from behind. If he had to calculate from the all the intimate moments they had before none had been so impacting as today’s.

“Can you hold her tighter?” the photographer questioned. “You don’t want the photos to turn out awkward; they become bad memories when you look back at them.”

This was strange. He didn’t want to wrap his arms any more intimately around her than he already was. He felt bad and guilty for pushing Namjoo into doing this with him, even though he liked it. Then he felt Namjoo’s hand pull his even more around her and found her turning back to glance at him. And it was strange that she didn’t stand stiffly in his arms or appear to feel as if she really hated this.

“Yes, like that, good,” the photographer commented.

Kai was unsettled by how drawn he was becoming and gulped yet again.

“Please look at the groom, yes turn your head, and think of something happy. If the groom could lean down a little and have your foreheads touch,” the photographer called out.

His eyes zoomed in on Namjoo’s again, drowning in the essence of them. Her gaze was innocent and lovely, just the person she was. He felt for her, even more after telling her his truth. Operating on pure instinct he closed his eyes and kissed her as some kind of emotion came to life in him. Unlike the pool kiss Namjoo didn’t fight him off. For the moment that lasted he felt her purse her lips around his and he hugged her tighter.

“Would you look at them?” the photographer happily commented to the stylist beside him. “They look great.”

A soft breath weaseled out of from his lips when he drew back and stared down at her with his heart thudding hard behind his chest. He was, he decided, going crazy.

\\\\\

Neither spoke to the other when they changed back into the clothes they came in. Tender awkwardness danced in the silence as they drove back to Choonhee’s home. Namjoo felt like a blank slate, empty and void. Even after thinking so much the past few days she didn’t know what to do anymore or what to think.

When they arrived at the house she unbuckled the seatbelt and got ready to go in. As soon as she got out she discovered Kai getting out after her as well. Then he reached into the backseat and pulled out a gift bag.

Starting toward her he stopped a few feet away and held it out, “I was going to give to you on Wednesday, but you probably didn’t want to see me. It’s a birthday gift.”

Namjoo stared at the bag surprised for the first time by Kai. As she grabbed it he said, “Happy belated birthday, Namjoo.”

He gave her a last smile before turning away and she watched him drive off. Heading to her room she looked into the bag to discover a pair of jeans and traced her hands over the material. But when would she be able to wear it again?

She quickly set it down when the door opened and Lee Eungi walked in. Namjoo immediately lowered her head, a reaction that had become her reflex when she ran into the two parents now. She feared them…greatly.

The woman stared at her viciously before tossing a dress at her, “Wear this and come out. We’re going to the salon to get our makeup and hair done.”

Namjoo picked the dress up to discover it a strapless pink dress. Without thinking she excused, “I already got my hair and makeup done this morning.”

“I told you to get ready and come out,” the woman hissed. “After I get myself done we’re leaving immediately.”

Namjoo’s eyes hardened realizing how stuck she was. Panicking and unable to think about Choonhee’s gigantic closet she muttered, “Can I…get dressed over at the hotel instead?”

“Then come out,” Eungi unkindly stared at her then her heels to walk out, expecting her to immediately follow. With no choice Namjoo clambed down the stairs after her and accompanied the woman to the salon. And as she sat around waiting for the stylist to complete her makeup and hair she fiddled with her fingers nervously.

She had nothing to wear over the dreess. The scar on her shoulder would be more than obvious to the eyes. By the time they reached the grand plaza where the anniversary party was being held she was out of luck.

\\\\\

A cold shower was what Kai went for right after getting home. Then he waited around lying in bed replaying a million of times in his head the numerous times his and Namjoo’s eyes met. The heartwarming sensation was still as vivid as when he stood in the studio with Namjoo. His heart pounded. He couldn’t stop thinking.

Then hours later he was headed toward the grand plaza for the anniversary party. The very moment he walked through the doors he sought for Namjoo to which he found to no avail. Finally Choonhee’s parents walked over to them noisily, surprising him that Namjoo was not with them.

“Are you looking for Choonhee?” Eungi wondered. “She went to get dressed but hasn’t come out yet. Why don’t you go look for her?”

Dressed? Here at the hotel? Kai frowned but drifted down the hallway in search of her. Around the corner he spotted a single restroom and knocked on the door.

“Namjoo?” he called out. “It’s me, Kai. Are you in there?”

It would be embarrassing, he thought, if it wasn’t Namjoo. He still had to try anyway. He almost walked away after no reply but the door clicked open and Namjoo poked her head out.

“What are you doing?” he wondered.

Namjoo’s eyes swerved around as if deciding before finally opening the door for him. Noticing the dress she was wearing he caught the scar on her shoulder.

“Why are…”

“She made me wear it,” she told him quietly. “How can I go out like this?”

Well, she was right. There would be an uproar because Choonhee had been brought up carefully without any scars. Without wasting time he ed his blazer and shook it off before handing it to her.

“Here, wear this and come out.” He told and as she took it he turned away to wait for her. After coming out he only realized then that the blazer was obviously a bit too large for her. Grabbing the sleeves he pulled them up over her wrist.

“You don’t have to…won’t it ruin your jacket?” she asked.

“Forget it,” he muttered. “It’ll look stranger if you don’t appear at the party. Lets go.”

They headed back to the ballroom together and found his parents waiting by the doorway for them.

“Ah! There you are! Choonhee!” his mother loudly greeted. Then noticing the blazer around her asked, “But why are you…”   

“Choonhee was cold, so I leant it to her,” Kai excused. Namjoo nodded in reply and smiled.

“Aren’t you the gentleman,” his mother lightly patted his arm. “Go around and get some food. I heard Baek Gosun prepared a dancing event. Get reengerized.”

\\\\\

Tiring of being introduced around Namjoo slipped away to the food tables and started chowing hungrily on the foods available.

“You’re here?” she glanced up to find Sehun standing on the other side happily.

Her insides trembled and she quickly looked around. If Choonhee’s parents caught her talking to him she would be in trouble and so would he.

“Who are you looking for?” he wondered.

“No…nothing,” she shook her head.

“I thought you might come today, so I came as well,” Sehun told. “Have you been well?”

“Huh?” she asked absentmindedly. “Oh…of course…”

“I…haven’t,” he admitted. “For some reason, my father confiscated my phone and my keys, so I’m sorry if you called and I didn’t pick up.”

Namjoo’s brows slowly started burrowing apologetically down her face. What could she do? All this trouble because of her…

Namjoo shook her head conscious of everything around her. The eyes, the people, the board members, and the parents. She could feel her cheek burning from the slaps again.  

***A/N: In case you missed it or didn't read it clearly, Namjoo is at the point where she's starting to feel miserable and she's feeling empty. Yes, she's very angry with Kai for he's one of the reasons she's in her current situation. She's scared of going to jail because she believes she didn't do anything wrong and that if she gets thrown in jail she'll never be able to see Sehun again. Her best bet right now is marrying Kai and still being able to see Sehun from afar. As for why she can't say "I love you" she's scared. If she acknowledges her feelings verbally the both of them will only get hurt more because Sehun will want her but she can't have him cause of the marriage. You'll better understand in the upcoming chapters.