“No welcome back kiss?” He asks as he makes his way into your apartment, you lips crawl into a thin line as you lock the door. You lean against it and you watch him place his duffle bag to the ground. He turns to you and opens his arms. You hesitate a bit before you take a step forward and you let him embrace you.

You don’t know how long you both stand there and you don’t care. Your heart is racing fast and hitting your ribcage like its fighting for its life. You feel his breath against your neck and you freeze before you unintentionally flinch away from him like he is poison.

He throws you a questioning look before he reaches out for you again but you take a step back. You don’t know why you’re acting the way you are and it’s frustrating you, you see the hurt look on his face and you feel a squeeze in your chest.

“Sorry,” You mumble as you look anywhere but at him. He shrugs and makes his way the couch, he pats the empty space next to him before he grabs the remote and he turns the TV on. You slowly make your way to him and you sit beside him.

“Did something happen to you while I was away?” He asks calmly. You quickly shake your head and swallow drily. “You’ve been ignoring my calls.” He tells you, his tone holding no emotion and you slightly tense. Should I tell him? You ask yourself as you bite your lower lip.

“Battery’s dead.” You lie, “Charge’s gone,” You add quietly.

“…” He turns to look at you, “If I call your phone right now – ” You crash your lips against his and you wrap your arms around his neck. He drops the remote on the carpet and places his hands on your shoulder before he gently pushes you away from him.

“You trust me?” He asks softly, you turn your gaze away from him. He carefully lifts your chin using his index finger and makes you face him; he traps you with his piercing yet concerned stare. “Do you?”

As much as you trust him, you can’t tell him. No, you don’t think he’ll run the sound he finds out you’re pregnant. You cringe at the word and your eyes tear up. “Did someone hurt you?” His voice, soft and gentle, it’s making you feel like you’re suffocating and you can’t understand why. You feel guilty, guilty because you’re keeping something from him.

You intend on telling him but you think now is not the right time and you aren’t ready for children. You plan on getting married to him and settling down but children? Children come later. You enjoy being with children – you don’t even remember the last time you were around one for over 5 hours– they are adorable and their chubby cheeks are just to die for. But then, they grow up and become all weird.

“I’m not ready,” You whisper. To become a mother or tell you. You think with a whimper.

“Not ready for what?” He asks as he drops his hands from your shoulders and stares at you waiting for your answer. Will the baby take after him? Boy or girl? You think as you let your tears pour.

“You’re not ready to marry me?” He inquires. You choke and your tears immediately stop, your heart skips a few beats. You shake your head and you throw yourself at him. You wrap your arms around his neck and you continue shaking your head.

“I love you,” You whisper brokenly, “I’m a m – mess right now,” You cry as you hold him tighter.

“This has nothing to do with the engagement?” He questions and you pause. “Does it?”

“I don’t think so,” What kind of an answer is that? You think. He begins to your hair, you feel yourself getting exhausted and finally, you shut your eyes and you let sleep take you away.

¤¤¤¤

You hold the edges of the toilet as you puke inside. You grimace at the horrible taste in your mouth and the terrible smell before you throw up again. You get to your shaky feet after flushing the toilet and you drag yourself to the sink. You stumble and fall to the marble bathroom ground on your and you gasp out in pain.

You hear a knock on the door before its slammed open, MyungSoo steps in and stares at you on the ground. “Are you sick?” He asks as he walks next to you, he lifts you up and you point at the sink. He gently places you to the ground but he doesn’t let go of you, his arm stays around your waist, you stiffen. You stand in front of him and you rest you head on his chest. Seconds later, you begin to brush your teeth and when you’re done you don’t bother to move.

“Are you working out? You’re doing it wrong.” He questions with a laugh breaking the uncomfortable silence. You meet his eyes in the mirror and you shake your head with a small smile. “You’re all hard right here,” He places his hand on your stomach and your eyes widen before you hastily pull away from him.  

“N – no,” You choke out as you step away from him. He gives you a hard look before he takes a step back. “Where…?” You reach out for him but he holds up his hand.

“I’ll be outside,” You watch him leave the bathroom you expected him to slam the door but he shuts it with a soft click.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper softly even though you’re sure he’s out of earshot. You step in front of the mirror and you stare at yourself before you walk to the door. You lock the bathroom door before you make your way back to the mirror, you slowly lift up your shirt and you examine at your stomach.

“How haven’t I noticed you here before?” You breathe out as you place your hand on the slight bump.

¤¤¤¤

Eww she’s puking. This is one of the reasons I’m going to be a nun in the future LOL JK. Understand the mess she's in, it's not easy for her to just come out and say "omfg, MyungSoo, I'm preggos" LOL. I won’t be online after today because I’m going on hiatus for a week or something, I have mock exams this week so yeah, gotta touch my books/notes and sleep study peacefully hard LOL. Until Next Time :]