Baekhyun stayed and stared at the empty bed. Yoora had asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital with her. Baekhyun had said no. He told himself that he would see Chanyeol for one last time on the funeral. For now, he didn’t feel like seeing or talking to anyone. Even the great news of Taeyeon finally waking up had been forgotten, erased from his troubled mind.

            Slowly, he picked up the shards of glasses from the photo frame. Looking at the photo, Baekhyun realized that Chanyeol had been hugging it in his sleep. He picked up the frame with trembling hands as he put it back onto the shelves.            He dragged his heavy legs towards Chanyeol’s bed. His tired legs gave in and he collapsed onto the bed. He touched Chanyeol’s pillow and grabbed it close to his chest as he sobbed violently. It was too soon, he thought, I wasn’t ready. I’m still not ready yet. And I’ll never be ready.

            He knew it was useless crying but he couldn’t hold in his emotions any longer. Suddenly, his eyes caught something underneath Chanyeol’s bed. Bending down, he pulled at something which seemed to be the corner of a book. He tugged at it. It was a diary. It must be Chanyeol’s diary.

Baekhyun stared at it and noticed a ribbon in between the pages. He flipped open the marked page. The first half of the page was filled with neat handwritings. Baekhyun ran his fingers across the soft paper, feeling the words with his heart.

I shall continue to fold the paper swans before I go to sleep. Just 20 more to go till 1000. Hwaiting… Chanyeol drew a little smiley face just below his words.

And here’s a letter for you my friend. if you ever find it. Promise me that you will not cry when you read this. Who knows? Maybe you will still see me tomorrow morning…yet another smiley beside those words. Baekhyun’s tears gathered in his eyes again.

Baekhyun flipped through the front pages. At the end of every page, Chanyeol wrote Will I be able to see the sun tomorrow morning?  Baekhyun bit his lips until it bled. He never knew Chanyeol had felt this way. He was always smiling and reassuring to those around him that he was alright. But deep inside, he was so insecure, so afraid. And without him intending to, Baekhyun had left him all alone to face the darkness by himself.

Slowly, Baekhyun flipped open the next page, where Chanyeol filled it with heartfelt messages.

Hi, Baek. If you have seen this…Well, that means that I’m no longer there to stop you from reading it. I’m sorry I wrote this but I feared that we might not get to say our las