Stupid stupid! Stop it! Why now suddenly?

It wasn't so sudden and you exactly knew why. In the crowd of fans, you detected a good friend of yours, you could even call her your “best friend”. A best friend who called you with the same title but didn't give a about you (well, not as much as you did for her). The two of you knew each other since middle school, instantly clicking with the sharing of love for Kpop.

Honestly, you were one of those people who didn't have tons of friends. Just a very few, which you were contented with. Time pulled everyone apart, you learned when the two of you went different ways for college, not living in the same city anymore but still close enough (two hours by train). And you spent lesser time together, not even texting properly, your busy timetables were mostly the reason for it but you still tried, the answers however, were plainer than ever.

She had her own share of friends as well, of course. One of them was someone she knew far longer than knowing you. That person lived 7 hours from where she lived but that never stopped her to visit that person. During that time, you didn't think much about it because you can't beat a 15 years friendship.

Much later, you then found out, how badly hurt you were from her actions, especially the time where she would move to another country for a few years. She didn't told you, you vaguely knew about it through Facebook (which was pure luck, you used fb almost never). That hurt with a sharp tug on your heart and cracking of trust.

So you asked her, she told you more details. Her flight would be within a month and never did pop up the suggestion to meet for a last time before her departure on her side. Just then, you could literally hear and see the trust, the anticipation for your best friend shatter in front of you. The final blow was on the day of your mother’s death, because you couldn't rely on your so called best friend who didn't even tell you that she got rid of her KakaoTalk account only to create a new one for the friends she made in Korea.

You might have overreacted. But for someone who already had trust issues (funny, you trusted your online boyfriend a bit too much), this was a huge thing. You felt betrayed, yet you still clung to her since she was important to you. But seeing her now, laughing and having fun, made you realize how stupid you were once again.

It was far worse you imagined it to be. Secretly, you were hoping to never cross path with her in Korea. Because you wanted to heal. Not getting salt rubbed into your open wounds. That’s why you didn’t give her the information of your stay in Korea. Not that you had any contact over the year or so. But just like always, your wishes never became true.

Because it suddenly swallowed you wholly. All the pain, wrecked emotions from your mother's death, to your so called best friend from your homeland with the fake relationship with B.A.P, roughly pulling you into the arms of depression, caging you.

The next thing that happened was sudden. You almost fell, literally on your face, getting pushed from an unseen hand. A horrified yelp left your mouth, enough warning for Zelo to jump forward and caught you in the last second by the end of stairs. Lucky for you that he wanted to check on you. After stage, he saw that broken glint in your eyes. He followed your gaze and got confused just to see a crowd of girls. Like mentioned long before, he grasped things quickly together and this was no exception.

Another occasion where he could relate to you. Being let down by your friends. The worry Scala for you rose up high, so he made sure to be around you without making it too obvious (which was quite difficult). And he was so glad to have walked back from the exit, wondering where you gloomed by then, fortunately catching you just on time. His brows furrowed together by the person who swished around, long hair covering the face but he recognized the costume of the specific girl group.

“Oh my gosh, what was that?”, you asked, confused and shaken, heart thumbing with adrenaline and fear, your trembling fingers grasping his jacket, forgetting the pain from your face colliding hard against his chest for a moment.

“Someone shoved you”, your head shot up, “so I wasn’t imagining it?”

Despite the fact you just fell, which could break your neck, he couldn’t help the silly chuckle, faintly showing that adorable dimple, the surprised face of yours was a bit too cute. A disbelief frown immediately crossed your face. So you punched him. Weakly.

“What’s there to laugh? It was frightening”

“I’m sorry”, he smiled, then letting concern, sincere concern wash over his face, “are you injured somewhere?”

Only yet, did you feel the pain from the impact and the shake of your limbs. You let out a late groan while rubbing your crushed nose, “if my nose is not broken then I’m not”

“Your ankles are alright as well?”, he asked while crouching down to examine them, “because in every situation like this, it’s the ankle”

So you moved both around, checking them out and fortunately, they were fine. A very angry call from one of the Managers on Zelo’s phone told you to hurry up, otherwise you’ll get late for the next music show. As if you two suddenly got burned, the two of you jumped on your spot and marched to the van with equal panic, neither of you realizing that you two were clasping tightly onto each other’s hands. Not in a romantic way. More like a protective younger brother who would do anything to keep his sister safe.

..ღ..

On your way, you asked the Maknae to keep it to himself. It might be an accident, after all. Though, fat chance that it was not but you didn’t have evidences to proof any accusations. With much reluctance, he agreed but that didn’t mean he can’t stay alerted. However, something changed. Correction. Someone’s behaviour changed.

It started out small. Unobtrusively, Youngjae’s hand would give you a light squeeze on every chance he got and whenever he wanted to, you noticed, his fingers brushing intentionally (you can confirm that, you tested it out) on your bare skin, combining it with that mischievous but hidden fond glint in his eyes, giving you those pleasant shivers, your stomach fizzled by every touch, not failing in to bring that pink colour on your cheeks. It wasn’t like you presented yourself to him, without resistance or dodging. But his reflexes were far better than yours, succeeding in doing what he intended to do.

That didn't last long. After a few hours he probably thought the hell with it and started to sit very close to you during the ride (which took you aback, because he normally tried to put lots of space between you guys, as much as he could in a crampy van) and interlaced your fingers together, hiding that act between your bodies, his thumb not disappointing in relishing your soft hand with gentle patterns, sending electrifying shivers through your veins, turning the blush into a crimson colour. 

You were literally plastered to his side, but no one seemed to notice (or playing ignorance) and you were powerless in stopping your heart from beating in glow and anticipation, your body melted into him, absorbing every bit of the secure and protect feeling he emitted off. Even though you were torn and breaking every time inside, misunderstanding his (actual to be) true intention.

Yet, you were so weak against him. When you woke up from your slumber during the ride, you found your head nestling on his shoulder, a sleeping Youngjae leaning on you in exchange, your hands still clutched in a hold. You had a few minutes before he woke up, and when you slightly titled your head up, just to see a bit of his sleeping face, your skin got brushed slightly from his warm breath, his weight was on yo