Jongin 

I'll let you set the pace cause I'm not thinking straight - Ellie Goulding, "Love Me Like You Do" 

“You okay?” I nudged Naeun as she nodded off in her seat. I knew her workload, I knew her insane hours of operation, and I knew she was always tired, but most of the time, I could look past it because she was strong enough to make it seem like she was okay. I never worried about her because she wouldn’t let me, but now, I was worried. I had never seen her doze off like this, and for her to doze, it must’ve been a longer night than anyone could handle. 

“I had to deal with a lot of stuff yesterday afternoon. It took up more than I expected, so I did the entire workload of the weekend after midnight.” She muttered, closing her eyes for a few more seconds before jolting awake. 

“What time did you sleep?” I asked, leading my hands to her shoulders to give her a quick massage. 

“Four.” She yawned, rolling her neck around in appreciation. I stopped my movements to react to what she had just confessed.
According to the clock, it was 6:15. If Naeun averaged a 30 minute walk to school, thirty minutes to get ready, and was here at 6:00, she had only gotten an hour of sleep. Minus time it took her to fall asleep, and the time it took her to finally pull away the covers. In short: she was insane. 

“Hey, nutcase, I know you think you’re super human, but you do actually need to sleep at some point.” I said, flicking her in the forehead. She rolled her eyes at me before pulling out her council folder. We were waiting for everyone else to show up for our regularly scheduled Monday Morning hell, but surprisingly, we were the only ones here. Even Eunji, who was usually doing her own work in a corner, was nowhere to be found. I wasn’t complaining, it gave me more time to annoy Naeun with affection. It had been working so far. Every time I tried pulling her into a hug, she’d whine and try to wiggle out before giving me a tired glare. It was cute as hell, so I was going to keep doing it until she lost her patience and stabbed me. 

“I needed to get things done. I’m stressing out more than usual. I’m pretty sure there’s a mop of grey hair getting ready to poke out soon.” She replied, looking through her binder for documents that needed to get approved. Even Namjoo, who took pleasure in teasing us until we looked like tomatoes, wasn’t here to give Naeun the meeting minutes. I leaned closer to her, taking bunches of her hair and pulling them apart, searching for grey hairs to annoy her. Sure enough, she slapped my hand away and pouted at me, sending me into hysterics. 

“What was so important?” I asked after I had calmed down. She sighed. The door opened, and some members trickled in, nodding a hello to us. They weren’t too curious about our conversations, males never were. As horribly stereotypical and ist as it sounds, the females were the ones who would watch my every move and attempt to speculate what everything meant. Still, I moved away from Naeun, walking towards my seat in case anyone else, anyone more curious, came in. 

“Apparently, staff and security have been complaining about the student council staying too long after hours to complete their work. So really, they’ve been complaining about me staying too late. And apparently, this was the last straw, and the administration decided to rule that no unsupervised activity could remain on campus for longer than an hour after the final bell. And guess who is always unsupervised?” She pointed to herself before slamming her head on the desk in front of her. One of these days, she was going to accidentally poke an eye out with her gavel, I just knew it. I’d still love her, eyepatch and all. 

“So?” I asked, not quite understanding how it was a problem. Wouldn’t it be better for her? Wouldn’t she stop exhausting herself so much and go home to actually relax for once? She sat up slowly, shooting me a piercing glare. I would still love her with an eyepatch, but the claws might be a little much. 

“So,” she repeated with annoyance, “this week is crucial for advertisement. We need to finish everything by today. We have a two weeks until the actual show, and if we don’t hype it up now, it’ll be a total failure. We have to make posters and fliers, not only for our school, but the surrounding schools and the art school your dad teaches at. We have to have a small flier for every locker on campus, posters for every room. We shouldn’t even be able to go to a bathroom stall without seeing a colorful reminder. I can’t do all that work within an hour, or by myself.” She slammed her head back down on the desk. 

Seeing her in a state of distress did make my throat dry, and make me want to help, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t offering up an idea for my own personal gain. I knew Naeun wouldn’t want to meet my parents on her own. She was too shy to, and she would find a way to talk herself out of it. But if I offered up my place as a creative bay, then she would be happy, and I would get my way. 

“Why don’t we just do it at my house?” I asked, and she raised her head slowly to look at me with a bright smile. 

“Really?” She beamed. 

“Yeah, I don’t see why not. My parents are going to be out anyway, and my little brother has some science olympiad scrimmage across town, so the house’ll be empty for a while. It’s no problem, really.” I could see in her eyes that she wanted to jump up and embrace me like she always did when I did or said something she particularly liked. I was a little disappointed that she didn’t, but we both knew that hugging while a wave of underclassmen walked in wasn’t the brightest idea with the whole “keeping low” deal we had. 

Soon after that, everyone walked in, a little more tired than usual. Naeun seemed very energized after my solution. The meeting went smoothly, although it bled into our typical work time.

“Last order of business.” She announced when homeroom was coming to an end. “I need twenty or so volunteers who are free for a couple of hours after school today, and won’t mind getting a few hand cramps.” 

Reluctantly, people raised their hands. Namjoo took the names down, herself included, before looking over at Naeun with a puzzled expression. 

“We’ll be going to Jongin’s house after school today to make posters, fliers, and other advertising materials for the upcoming show, which by the way, I’ll need to assign all of you duties for!” She announced, but the last part of her sentence got drowned out. I smirked to myself a little at hearing the girls who didn’t volunteer whisper in disbelief and jealousy of those who would get to walk into the mysterious world that was my house. 

Honestly, it was nothing special. The people that would go to my house would realize that it was nothing special. Everyone just liked to over-exaggerate the lives of those who were influential for no reason, like me. Naeun signaled me to take the floor. 

“Good morning everyone. Unfortunately, it would be a little bit of a hassle to house more than 20 people at my house, especially making posters, so the only people that’ll get my address are the ones who are on that list. I’ll be expecting you guys about thirty minutes after school ends, so we’ll have enough time to clear out space, and pick up the supplies we need.” 

It was amusing to see people try and exchange places with others to get on the list. It surprised me that it was amusing. I remembered that not too long ago, things like this would have, and should have, annoyed me to no end. But recently, it was too difficult to be annoyed. It was too difficult to not see the humor in little things when she was around. 

Naeun was truly a genius, and a surprising smooth talker. She convinced the principle to let us out of school during our last period, arguing that their new rules had caused us a great inconvenience, and we deserved to be compensated with this time. They agreed eventually, and we escaped an hour earlier than everyone else. After we were out of sight, we walked hand in hand freely, not worrying about someone seeing us. The only people that would care enough to make it a scene were dozing off in a stuffy classroom, anyway. We went to a local supply store to purchase all the poster paper and markers we could carry, all with the student council credit card. As we got closer and closer to what I pointed out was my neighborhood, both of us became obviously more nervous. Our hands got sweaty, and we joked that the weather needed to cool up soon, but we all knew that it wasn’t because of the heat. 

She had a legitimate reason. I was her first relationship, and it did seem rather quick that I was introducing her to my parents already. But I was nervous because of that, because I wasn’t sure if she knew how serious I was. I wanted my parents to meet her just to show her that she meant a lot to me, but I wasn’t sure if she wanted to know how much she meant to me. It was a tricky subject, but it was one we couldn’t afford to dwell on anymore, because we were standing in front of my house. She took a deep breath and I unlocked my front door and led her in. 

“I’m home!” I yelled, taking off my shoes. She did the same. I made her set down the supplies on the floor near the door, and led her to the kitchen, where I could smell my mom preparing our meal ahead of time, so it could be reheated later. 

“So soon?” My mom asked while stirring stew in a pot, not bothering to look up even after I approached her. Naeun hid behind me, and I had to forcibly push her in front of me. 

“Where’s dad? I want you both to meet somebody.” I hugged Naeun from behind, and she shyly pushed me away while my mother was still oblivious. 

“He’s in his study, we’re almost ready to go —“ My mom finally looked up and stopped mid sentence, a small smile forming on her lips. “Who is this?” She asked, examining Naeun while her eyes lit up. I had never brought a girl home before officially, but I was sure they suspected that I was less than pure. I’m sure she was excited that I was settling down for once. 

“Hello.” Naeun bowed respectfully, her cheeks turned red beautifully at her own embarrassment. “I’m Son Naeun.” 

“She’s my girlfriend.” I announced, and my mother beamed. 

“I’ll go get your father.” She said before excusing herself, taking long looks at Naeun. Naeun only bowed her head weekly.  

“She’s beautiful.” She whispered when my mother was out of the room. 

“Now you know where I get it from.” I winked at her, making her raise her head to roll her eyes at me. At least she was loosened up now. She hunched over again a little bit when my father walked in the room following my mother. My father was sterner than my mother, he didn’t really show any emotions. He had learned how to be stoic from years of teaching self absorbed art students, I sometimes forgot he knew how to be anything but angry. But even he couldn’t hide the smile forming on his lips when he saw me standing with Naeun. Naeun greeted him in the same way she greeted my mother, but even when she was meek, she was charismatic enough to make both of my parents beam. 

“So what brings you here today, Naeun?” My father asked. 

“Well, I’m the student council president and we need to work on advertising for the talent show, so Jongin offered your home. I hope that’s okay with you both.” She answered, slowly gaining her confidence. 

“Of course it is!” My mother chimed in, simultaneously offering Naeun an entire platter of sliced fruit. It was that gesture that made me realize that perhaps introducing my parents to my girlfriend was a horrible idea. Naeun accepted the plate with wide eyes, looking to me for help. I tried to take an apple slice, but my mother slapped my hand away, specifying that it was only for Naeun. I never thought my mother would be the type to want to fatten my significant mother up, at least not until she was expecting a child. 

“Oh, you’re the one in charge of the talent ship?” My father asked, and Naeun nodded. “Will you be performing?” 

“She’s an amazing singer.” I stepped in, causing Naeun to give me a glare. 

“Let’s see if he’s right about something for once.” My dad joked. 

“No, really, I can’t.” Naeun shook her head. I’m sure she’d deny it with every part of her body, if she wasn’t too busy carrying a tray of fruit that weighed half of what she did. 

“You must!” My mother clapped, her smile only grew wider every second Naeun took a breath. It was a success, so far. 

“Please?” I pouted, putting the icing on the guilt flavored cake. Naeun sighed, closing her eyes for a moment before opening . 

Everything seemed to happen on cue with this girl. We were interrupted by her little sister the last time I wanted to get intimate, and now, we were interrupted by my little brother when she was on the verge of winning over my parents completely. 

“We have to go! I’m gonna be late!” Kangin wailed as he ran downstairs. Naeun sighed with relief at the immediate distraction, and took the opportunity to put the godforsaken tray of fruit. “Start the car!” He shouted at my father. 

My father held his hands up in surrender, saying goodbye to Naeun with a smile. 

“I should get going too.” My mother got her own car keys, taking Naeun’s hand and squeezing it gently. She walked out the door, and Kangin was eager to follow, before I grabbed him by the shoulders. 

“Whoa there, cowboy, the future nuclear physicists of Korea can wait, I want you to meet someone.” I said, patting him on the head. He shook his head in annoyance, still bouncing in anxiousness. In all of his weird, prepubescent stress responses, he hand’t even noticed that someone else was in the room with us. Naeun walked over to stand next to us, now more confident in meeting the last member of my family. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you.” She smiled, offering him her hand to shake. He only stared back and forth between the hand and her face. 

“This is my girlfriend.” I introduced her. Eventually he shook her hand shyly, declaring that he had to go before running to the door, and dragging me with him. 

“She’s really pretty.” He whispered to me when we were out of her hearing range. I chuckled at him and his innocence. 

“I know. She’s special, too. And it’s all thanks to you. I owe you one.” I sent him off before he could ask any questions, or even find out that I used the site I caught him talking to strangers on. I didn’t have any more alone time with Naeun, because the schedules members started showing up immediately after that, beginning with Namjoo who entered with her eyes covered. 

“You’re being ridiculous.” Naeun said, letting a laugh escape. 

“I’m just taking precautionary measures, here.” Namjoo shrugged, helping us move furniture out of the way. 

With Namjoo’s joke, I’m sure it wasn’t her intention, I started to feel nervous. I had never been nervous about this kind of thing. I hated to admit it every time, but even during my first time, it had always been just . This was something completely different. This wasn’t between me and some stranger, or between me and someone I had lied to through all in the interest of fulfilling a role s had placed upon me. This was intimate. This was making love, something I had never done. 

Even when it almost happened a few days ago, I wasn’t nervous about it. It was spontaneous. It felt right to do it in the moment. Now, I was planning it, and it only made me foresee every possible mistake that could be made. Even looking at her made me nervous. 

I can’t count how many conversations I accidentally rudely ignored because I was staring into space blankly. Earlier, I would’ve been stoked that the council was working like an assembly line, and practically ready to leave within an hour and a half. Now, I was annoyed. I needed more time to think, or rather, more time to get myself to stop thinking. But the world was against me like it always had been, and before I knew it, I was almost alone with her. Even Namjoo didn’t want to stay and talk. 

“You sure you don’t want something to eat?” I asked her, suddenly feeling the air around me get heavy.

“No, I need to go.” She asserted for the hundredth time. 

“Really? It’ll be quick.” I begged, but she just shook her head. 

“I’ll give you two time to yourselves, don’t worry.” She laughed, and we both looked at Naeun, who was thanking the last of the members leaving with a stack of fliers. “Remember to play nice, though. Got it?” 

Namjoo skipped away and said a quick goodbye to Naeun, who shut the door behind her. We were alone now. If I was reading her right, she was nervous too. That helped me snap out of it. I needed to take charge and make her feel safe, not convince her that I had no idea what I was doing. I approached her as she began moving the furniture back to its original spot. 

“So, are you heading out?” I asked after a few minutes of silence. She jumped when I spoke, but I couldn’t even manage to laugh. There was a giant knot where my throat should’ve been. 

“I might. I’m way too sleepy.” She yawned. This was my chance.

“I do have a bed upstairs, you know, if you wanted to take a quick nap.” I had to clear my throat mid sentence, and my hand found its way to my neck. 

“Nap?” She repeated with much hesitation. I nodded, flashing her a reassuring smile. She flashed me the same smile, and I led her to the stairs, where we began our painfully slow trek. Even the hallway seemed to elongate itself. Every footstep seemed to echo until we got to the door. Who knew I could be so dramatic. 

Thankfully, the room waiting for us wasn’t as messy as it usually was. Intuition is important, and thankfully it told me to clean this weekend. Naeun peered in curiously, before following me inside slowly. She walked around for a bit, running her fingers along the trophies and medals I wasn’t proud of until now. 

“You must be really good.” She commented, turning around to face me. 

“You’ll find out.” I shrugged, sitting myself down on the bed. I pat the space next to me, trying to gain my courage. I could see her taking a deep breath before she walked over to me. Very gently, very slowly, she sat herself down. She looked at me, hesitation being her primary emotion. I cupped her face gently, leaning over to peck her nose. 

“Nap?” She asked, averting my gaze. 

“Nap.” I repeated, tackling her down to the bed. She laughed, but it only lasted a few seconds before we were silent again. 

“Are you okay?” I whispered, not really knowing why I did it. I felt like if I spoke too loudly, I’d sound too demanding. The only way to get her to trust me fully like I hoped she would was to be as gentle as I could. 

“We’re not really napping, are we?” She looked up at me, her eyes widening as if she was standing in front of headlights. 

“We will if you want to. We’ll only do what you want to, okay?” I reassured her, feeling her ease up a little bit. At least now I knew that she had no idea how scared I was feeling myself. 

“I’ve been thinking about this.” She admitted shyly. I smiled at the blush in her cheeks. 

“ert.” I joked, and she slapped me almost automatically. 

“You’re the one who initiated it twice.” She rolled her eyes. 

“But seriously. Do you want to do this.” I asked, watching her as a million thoughts seemed to pass through her mind. 

“Yes.” She nodded after a while. “I love you. I trust you.” 

And with that, a familiar act ensued, but with a completely unfamiliar feeling. I had been with inexperienced people more than I had been with those who could boast experience, but I had never felt like it was new to me like I had this time around. It was completely different. I actually felt something. 

Of course, I was subject to pleasure before, but pleasure wasn’t something difficult to achieve. It was instinctual, animalistic even, but what I felt now, the sheer love and desperation to protect the fragile person I was connecting with, couldn’t be a product of anything other than emotion. I wasn’t having with her, I was making love. I never thought I would be the person to say that. 

I had been involved with people wilder, more willing to please than her, but those experiences couldn’t compare to this. There was little that could replace the shy smiles to assure the other, or the soft kisses that replaced quiet pants. There was innocence and curiosity. There was intimacy. There was love. I was happy. 

“Good job, team.” I jokingly asked for a high five when we were laying together, intertwined, catching our breath. She rolled her eyes and tried to push me away, covering herself up with my sheets modestly. 

“You’re a freak.” She laughed. 

“And you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Jokes on you. I tricked you into dating me.” I kissed her nose again, loving the way she crinkled it whenever I pulled away. She reached over to the nightstand, looking for my digital clock. 

“I have to go now.” She groaned. The clock read 6:50, and it was usually the time she said goodbye to go home. I protested, but she couldn’t be budged. We dressed silently, throwing each other looks every so often. I meant it when I told her that I thought she was more beautiful than anyone. I was the luckiest guy in the world. 

We were outside now, and although I’m sure neither of us wanted to leave the euphoria up in my room, reality had to hit sooner or later. 

“Thanks, I guess?” Naeun said when it was time to go. She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before turning to leave. I grabbed her arm and spun her back to me, embracing her for a few moments. 

“Thank you. I love you.” I said before kissing her forehead. “You’re absolutely radiant.” Even watching her leave made me sad, but at least I knew now that she felt the same. She disappeared into a small dot, and I turned to go back into the house. I was sure it would seem lonelier today, as I was forced to study somewhere that would no doubt bring back memories I would never want to forget. 

“Well that’s a familiar scene.” Kyungsoo piped up, walking the sidewalk that connected the block of houses. By the looks of it, he was getting the mail for his family, and of course, the mailbox had to be in front of my house. 

“Shut the hell up, you don’t know anything.” 

“I know that when you walk a girl out and kiss her on the forehead like that, it means it was her first time.” He smirked, twirling the keys around his finger. 

My hands balled into fists. He was right. The fact that he lived so close to me was convenient enough for he, and everyone else, to confirm my parts of our revenge schemes being complete, and he was right that I did do that, but he couldn’t compare that to now. It was nothing like before. 

“I’m right.” He smiled slyly. I held every urge to tear his face open so he could wipe the disgusting smile off of his face. 

“You’re not.” I walked over to him, towering over his smaller figure. His smile didn’t falter. He wasn’t scared of me. “So get whatever stupid idea you have out of your head, because I will defend that girl, and myself, with everything.” 

“Looking forward to it.” He pushed past me and walked to the mailbox. I didn’t stay to watch him any longer. 

Late upload, as I predicated. I’m sorry, I was absolutely swamped this week, and I took a little break to go to Santa Cruz with some friends on Friday, and took Saturday to myself. Hope y’all don’t mind. Also