Grunting, I leaned my hands on the bar, across from Donghae. "We're having a party tonight. Here."

"Oh," he mumbled, his whole mood shifting from happy to upset.

"Um, are you okay man?" Il Hoon asked, looking at him.

He stood up abruptly, shoving past him as he muttered, "I'm fine."

He walked out of the kitchen and quickly stomped up the stairs, retreating to his room with the slam of a door. Well hello Mood Swing.

Il Hoon gave me a confused look. "What the hell was that?"

I shrugged. "I don't know man. He just got out of a bad break up and he's been in a slump."

"Why couldn't he know about the other day?"

"Why should he know about something like that?" I countered, giving him a pointed look.

"Because you moaned out his name in the middle of a make out session. That seems a bit abnormal to me."

"So? It was an accident. It happens," I shrugged off, grabbing Donghae's plate to clean it off.

"Fine, Eunhyuk. But I'm seriously going to laugh my off when you realize it."

"Realize what?" I questioned, my voice uninterested and bored.

"That you finally have feelings for someone."

I spun around so quick that my vision blurred momentarily, shooting a glare in Il Hoon's direction while he sat there, looking like a smug motherer. "Don't ever say something like that. I hate that er."

Il Hoon laughed quietly, opening his mouth to speak again when a loud crash came from upstairs. My eyes widened slightly. "Holy !"

"I think you should go. I'll call you later to come help set up for the party," I said slowly, making my way up to Donghae's room. "Is everything o-"

My voice caught in my throat. A lamp was shattered into pieces, glass shards spread throughout the room as a crumpled, half mess named Donghae was curled up in a ball on the floor.

"Go away," he sobbed.

"Donghae-" I started, entering the room.

"I said go the away!" he said coarsely, his body trembling. With anger or sadness, I couldn't tell.

"I'm not going anywhere," I said defiantly, closing the door behind me as I slowly approached him.

He scurried away from me, now hiding in the corner like a little kid as I crouched down in front of him. "Please go away," he pleaded, giving me a defeated look.

"Tell me what's wrong first," I demanded. 

"I-I'm fine," he attempted to convince me, sniffing in perfect contradiction.

"You're obviously not," I stated, rolling my eyes at him.

"Um, I just, it's really stupid," he whined, rubbing viciously at his eyes.

I stared at his red, puffy eyes, biting my lip. I wanted to say "Yes, everything about you is stupid, Donghae," but I just couldn't. As much of an as I was, I couldn't kick a dog that was already down. "I won't judge you, I promise."

"I just..." he started quietly, fiddling with his fingers. "It's just that I met Taemin at a party and..." I wanted to laugh at him, I really did, but I just covered it up with a somewhat encouraging smile.

"That's just another reason why you should come to the party tonight. Make new memories, don't hang onto old ones that hurt you." Wow, when the did I get so sentimental?

"I can't," he protested stubbornly.

"Fine, Donghae," I said, growing angry. I was already tired of trying. "Be a little then. But don't look back on everything and say that no one tried to help you. Because I did try to help you and you're refusing to listen. That's not my fault, that's your own."

"But-"

"But nothing! Do something fun in your life. All you've been thinking about lately is a pathetic that was obviously dumb enough to cheat on you! If he cheated then he obviously didn't deserve you. And you cheated on him too so obviously you didn't need him that bad. How do you expect me to feel? I'm the one you were dumb enough to cheat with and all you think about is that ing pansy!"

"I-"

"No," I cut him off, glaring. "I'm not done. You can sit around and be miserable all you want but I'm done trying with you! Just do something fun for once. Just throw yourself into something and allow yourself to forget! Just forget. Move on. What's done is done and you can't change it so stop wasting time crying over it. Just be impulsive. Do something ing wild. The past five days you've wasted. You've been missing out on the pleasures of life because you can't get over the damn past. Grow the up."

"You don't understand!" he cried, glaring at me.

"I've been through pain and heartbreak before! And I can't say I'm over it completely, but I know how to look past it and enjoy my ing life. Seriously, if you know what's ing good for you, I'll see you downstairs tonight."

I huffed, giving him one last glare before I stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind me, causing an echo to sound through the house.

I'm tired of babysitting. Tonight, I'm going to get ed up.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know why I kept doing it, but I was scanning the room constantly. Sure, there were a million people, but I still felt like something was missing.

I shrugged it off, taking a sip of my vodka and red bull. It tasted awful, but I didn't mind. Liqour is liquor.

I surveyed the crowd, seeing if anyone interesting was in the crowd. And then I saw him.

Sungmin.

He made direct eye contact with me, giving me a wink. My eyes widened, my heart beating extremely fast. There's no way he could be here right now...

"Tell him," he mouthed to me. I started walking into the crowd of people, but just as I entered the dance floor, Sungmin turned to walk away.

"No, wait! Sungmin!" I called out, but he had disappeared. I shook my head, confused. Was he even really here?

I kept searching through the crowd, brushing past people. I exited the dance floor, running my hands through my hair. I was defeated. I give up. He's nowhere to be ing found. What the just happened?

I walked quickly, not even paying attention to my surroundings until I bumped into someone. "Oh, sorry," I said distractedly, looking at who I had bumped into.

Donghae's eyes were no longer red and puffy and he'd somehow managed to throw on jeans and a loose shirt. "Whatever," he mumbled, shooting me a glare as he pushed past me, walking to the kitchen.

I huffed, narrowing my eyes at his retreating figure. I couldn't help but let my eyes travel down to that perfect .

I laughed at myself.

What the am I thinking?

I downed a drink at the bar. And another. And another. And another. Did I mention yet how much I loved parties? The best part is that I wasn't even drunk yet, although I was pretty ing close.

"Eunhyuk," a voice called in my ear, their chin digging into my shoulder.

"Hmm?" I asked.

"Who's that girl looking at you? She's been looking at you for a while," Donghae stated nodding his head in a certain direction.

"Oh, that's Seulgi ," I mumbled, giving her a small wave. Her cheeks turned pink and she looked away, pretending to engage in conversation with the person next to her.

"She likes you," Donghae cooed, snickering. So maybe he wasn't exactly sober right now, but I didn't not expect it.

"She's my ex girlfriend."

Donghae stayed quiet. Had his chin not been digging uncomfortably in my shoulder and his warm breath not been tickling my neck, I would've thought he wasn't even there. 

"Thank you Eunhyuk," he finally said, placing a sloppy kiss on my cheek.

I didn't even know what he was thanking me for, but I went along with it, a smirk forming in my lips as I spoke, "You're welcome. Hey, Donghae. Why don't we go dance?"

His head lifted off of my shoulder. "I love dancing," he said suggestively. I laughed and grabbed his wrist, leading him towards the middle of the dance floor.

I slammed his against my crotch, groaning softly. I hated to admit it, but Donghae's was fairly perfect, and it'd been nearly a ing month since it'd done me any good.

Donghae leaned his back into my chest, his hands reaching behind my head to tangle themselves in the hair on the back of my neck. "Mm," he mumbled hotly against my cheek, his grinding perfectly into me. 

I smirked, attaching my lips to the exposed flesh of his neck, trailing hot, wet kisses up his jaw before nibbling on his ear. 

"Eunhyuk," he mumbled and I growled playfully, tracing my hands under his shirt. 

"Eunhyuk," he repeated, an edge coming into his voice. Confused, I stopped my hands, but continued to grind against his . The longer we danced, the more antsy he seemed to get. I wasn't sure what the was going on so I spun him around.

"Look, relax," I assured him, rolling my eyes before leaning down to attach my lips to his, my arms still wound around his face. My hands slid down to his , a smirk curving on my lips as I kissed him.

He urgently pounded at my chest, making small whimpering sounds as he struggled against me. Pissed and confused, I leaned my mouth away from his, pulling my body away.

"I just can't do it," he cried, tears welling in his eyes. I never pin-pointed Donghae to be an emotional drunk, but judging by the way he ing attacked me last time he was drunk, I probably should've seen an emotional wreck coming.

"Donghae, what the !" I hollered. The party was coming to an end and I'd wasted all my time on a motherer that didn't even want to anymore.

"We just broke up. It's just too soon, I just can't. I just can't," he rambled, tears streaking down his face.

"That's it. I'm tired of you crying over some kid that doesn't even deserve you. Seriously, Donghae, I thought a bit ing better of you. I'm so mothering tired of hearing your whine and cry and complain. I can't even look at you right now. Just get the out of my house and don't come back."

Donghae gave me the most broken look I've ever seen before running away, hopefully out of my house.

What a ing waste.

----------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up the next morning, laying sprawled out on my staircase. I wasn't sure how I got here, but I didn't really remember much of anything. Except Sungmin. And telling Donghae to leave.

A feeling overtook me. It felt like I was being stabbed in the gut. Slowly, I made my way up the stairs, tripping over empty cup. Dammit, this was going to ing to clean up. 

Opening the door to his room, I saw a figure sleeping in his bed. Sighing in relief, I walked over to the bed. "Donghae," I breathed out, but stopped short. There were actually two figures in the bed, and neither of them were Donghae. "Hey, get the out!" I shouted.

They woke up, looking confused as , before quickly putting their clothes on and rushing out of my house in a panic. I was also panicked.

Now picking up my walk into a jog, I checked all of the rooms, vacating the ing idiots who decided to have a one night stand. Growing more and more worried as time came along, I desperately searched for Donghae. He wasn't anywhere.

I ran my hands through my hair after I checked literally everywhere, even out back. Had he really left?

I guess I should go looking for him, then.

I grabbed my keys and ran to the from door, opening it in a hurry as I attempted to scurry to my car.

"!" I cursed as I tripped over something, tumbling to concrete. I heard a groan of protest behind me.

I sat up, my cheek burning and my palms cut up as I looked behind me. Donghae.

His eyes widened when he saw me as he scrambled to get up. "Sorry, sorry. I'll go," he said quickly, trying to walk away. 

I grabbed his wrist, pulling him back towards me. "Hey, wait," I said softly, pulling him down beside me. "I, um, I didn't mean what I said," I admitted after a long, tense silence.

"Yes you did. I know I'm being pathetic."

"I-Well, that doesn't mean I should ing kick you out a day or two after I drive all the way to a sketchy motel to get you."

Donghae snickered, staring at his feet as I watched him intently. "Yeah, that's a pretty ed up thing to do."

"I guess it's just hard for me to understand you're ing whining because I'm different from you."

"You should know that I'm not okay when I can't even insult you back. That should worry you," he told me, meeting my gaze.

"Yeah, I guess so," I replied, biting my lip anxiously. "Um, I don't really want you to go."

Donghae's body visibly stiffened and he swallowed, blinking rapidly at me. "You don't? But I'm such a ing burden."

"Yeah, just a little," I told him, trying to play off my embarrassing choice of words a minute ago. "But as long as you cheer the up and start getting over yourself, I won't mind your presence too much."

Donghae laughed sincerely, his fingers reaching up to trace the cut on my cheek. I flinched, but continued looking into his eyes. "I ing hate you," he said, a small smile turning up on his lips.

"I ing hate you too," I assured him, nudging his knee with my own.

---------------------------------------------------

That night, I tossed and turned, the nightmare of a lifetime finally hitting me hard.

"I have to talk to you," Sungmin told me, giving me a serious look.

"Okay?" I said, sitting down across from him at the table we were sitting at. I wasn't sure where we were. A cafe of some sort, maybe.

"I really want you to tell him, Eunhyuk."

"Tell who, what?" I asked, confused.

"You know who I'm talking about. You have to tell him about me."

"I haven't told anyone. What makes him so special?"

"He's special to you. Damn, you're so blind sometimes. But he's good for you. I know he's good for you."

"What am I supposed to say? I'm not ready to open up to anyone. I'll be vulnerable. I can't be vulnerable."

"Trust me, Hyukjae. He deserves to know. You have to move on, and I want you to move on with him. It's what's meant to happen. Call it fate, if you must. You were meant to break down and open up to him. Hell, you've already softened up a bit."

"I have not," I defended.

Sungmin chuckled, shaking his head. "As soon as you can, tell him. For me, please. This is what I want for you Hyukjae. I can't see you suffer in hate anymore. I can't bare to watch you like this anymore because of me. I don't want you to be hateful because I'm gone now. I need you to tell him. Would you?"

"I-" I struggled to say, looking back up at my hands. "Yes, I'll tell him." Once I looked up, Sungmin was already gone. Disappeared, like I was just talking to myself. I laid my head down on the table, breathing heavily.

I was deteriorating.

I sat up, gasping for breath as sweat trickled down my face. I knew what I had to do, and I hated it so ing much but Sungmin told me what I had to do.

I had to tell him.