I sighed, staring at the TV, even though it was muted. This is what I had been doing for the past three days. Sitting around, staring at a quiet screen as people made fools of themselves.

My stomach ached and growled in protest, wishing to be fed, but I had no desire to get up. I just physically couldn't. I can't even remember the last time I ate a decent meal.

The scratchy sheets of the motel bed scraped at my legs as I shifted my body, my eyes sliding over the dingy white walls. 

My phone had been going off constanty, but I just ignored it. All it was, was various text messages from Taemin apologizing and wanting to "be friends" and my dad wondering where I was staying and if I was coming home.

That was something I dreaded more than anything. My father had sent me to boarding school, and I didn't exactly leave on good terms. The day he announced I had to leave, I came out to my dad. Taemin had been a small secret, but then he finally knew that he wasn't just a friend. And my dad hated me for it. He didn't accept me.

I couldn't go home. It wasn't that he had told me I literally wasn't allowed to, but he made it pretty clear that he would rather I not come back anytime soon.

I had enough money to stay here for another three nights before I would be forced to go home and face my dad.

I didn't have any other friends to turn to. Before Taemin, I was the type of guy that kept to myself. I did things on my own because everyone else ed things up. People obsessed over me, but I had no interest in them. I walked alone and didn't put up with bull.

I groaned and ran a hand through my dirty hair. I hadn't showered since I got here and now I'm sure I smelled but I just couldn't muster the strength to move.

As my phone buzzed, I realized it was continuing to vibrate. Someone wasn't texting me. They were calling me.

I was confused. No one had bothered to call me yet. Not my dad, not Taemin, no one. Hesitantly, I brought the phone to my ear. 

"Hello?" I asked dully, not even trying to pretend that I was okay. Right now, I was nothing. A big empty shell of nothingness.

"Donghae," the last voice I wanted to hear came over the receiver, "Where are you?"

What the kind of question is that? "huh?" I asked dumbly.

"Where are you? Where are you staying?"

"Why are you asking me this?" I questioned quietly.

"I'm...curious," he struggled to answer.

"I'm going to hang up now," I informed him, moving the phone away from my cheek.

"No!" he shouted loudly, causing me to hesitantly put the phone back to my ear. "No, don't."

I kept quiet, not making him think that I hung up purposefully or something, I just didn't feel like replying. I lacked enough energy to come up with a decent response to anything he said.

"I...saw what happened the other day," he started, causing my gut to clench. Was he just calling me to torture me a little more for my misfortunes? "I saw that guy walk out and I saw you walk out."

"So?" I growled, closing my eyes as a headache pounded at my temples.

"Are you, um, staying with your dad?" he blurted out. You could tell he obviously didn't think this conversation through very well at all.

"No."

"Are you staying with a friend?"

"No."

"Then where the hell are you, Donghae?" Eunhyuk asked, an edge beginning to seep into his tone of voice as he slowly grew impatient with me.

"Motel," I whispered, looking around the room I was in blandly.

"What, where?"

"A motel," I said a bit louder.

"That's not a very good place to be right now."

"Thanks, I had no idea," I told him with as much sarcasm as my body could handle at the time.

"I'm coming to get you," he blurted once again, sending me crashing into a wave of confusion.

Wait, what?

"What?" I asked, shocked.

"I'm coming to get you," he repeated, slowly this time. 

"Why, though?"

"Just...tell me what motel you're at dammit!" he shouted, frustrated with me.

"Super 8," I said numbly, not affected by his words. I didn't even have the energy to be pissed.

"You're going to get ."

"I haven't moved from the bed in three days. I'm fine," I assured him, my eyes narrowing.

"Well pack up and if you have to get ready, then get ready. I'm coming to get you."

"Why? It's a three hour drive!"

"I'm two hours away from you. Just enough time for you to get ready. Oh, and wear a jacket. It's raining."

"I-" I began to say, but the line cut off.

What the ?

I sighed stubbornly, staring at the wall. I only had the same luggage that I brought home from the school and I was still in the clothes from the day we rode home. No one deserved to see me like this.

For nearly an hour and a half, I stayed in my current daze-like state before I finally managed to sit up, my body groaning in protest.

My muscles ached  in protest and all my eyes wanted to do was slip closed. Despite being in the bed 24/7, my sleep had been restless and I was still constantly exhausted, no matter how much sleep I got.

When my bare feet touched the ground, I nearly fell over. With every step, my body begged me to just stop, rest, and go lay back down. Due to lack of food, I was weak and tripping over my feet.

I was ing helpless.

No one could fix me because I was officially broken.

There was nothing in this world that made me desire to take a shower, so I put a black hoodie on, because Eunhyuk said it was raining, and a gray beanie to tame my unruly, brown locks.

I shuffled out of the door, towing my luggage behind me like it was the heaviest thing I'd had to carry in my life. And right now, it felt exactly that way. 

I handed my key to the desk receptionist before exiting the doors of the motel, leaning against a wall that was facing the parking lot. 

Slowly, I withdrew the pack of cigarettes from my pocket, grabbing one before putting it back in my pocket to search for my lighter. 

After lighting up, I brought the cigarette to my mouth, letting it rest there between between my lips as I took a long drag.

Before I was with Taemin, I smoked constanty. I had nothing else to do. No one to turn to when things got boring, or sad, or painful. Cigarettes were just something I could rely on, something in my life that was stable. But they were never an addiction; they were a friend to me.

Then I met Taemin and he became the friend. He was my new distraction when I needed him, and I forgot all about the glorious thing I used to indulge in. That is, until Taemin was gone. And now he is, so I've turned back to my old ways.

"Hey man, can ya spare a cig?" a skinny guy with a buzz cut and a scar going under his eye asked me, his blue eyes boring into mine.

I pulled out a pack, opening it to show him that it was empty. "Last one dude."

He nodded and leaned against the wall. "Thanks anyways."

A red Ferarri peeled into the parking lot as my cigarette came to an end, causing the guy next to me to whistle. "Who the hell shows up here in a Ferarri?"

I shrugged, watching it closely as it pulled up by us. "I don't know. Maybe they're lost and need directions."

The window of the car was rolled down, slowly revealing a face that I was dreading to see. "Donghae, get in."

"You're kidding," I deadpanned, taking another drag as I raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't you have anything less...expensive?"

"No," he said, flashing me a grin.

The guy next to me looked over, giving me an incredulous look. "A guy in a Ferrari offers you a ride, you take it."

I gave him a lifeless look before dropping the cigarette from my lips, crunching it underneath my feet. Giving him a small shrug, I gathered my things.

"Open your trunk, ," I told him, walking to the back of his vehicle. The trunk opened a second later, allowing me to fit my things in there.

"I didn't know you smoked," Eunhyuk remarked as he sped out of the parking lot, leaving my window down.

I just shrugged again, not bothering to reply as I leaned my head back on the head rest, closing my eyes and letting the wind hit my face.

The drive was way too long and awkwardly quiet. Eunhyuk kept trying to make some sort of conversation, but I wasn't in any mood to talk. Why in hell would I be?

"Donghae," Eunhyuk said, rolling up my window. "You've had three cigarettes in the past two hours. That's enough, don't you think?"

l sent him a glare, rolling down the window to quickly throw out my cigarette . As soon as it was out the window, Eunhyuk rolled the window back up, but I continued to stare out of it.

Eunhyuk music, blaring it louder than my ears could take right now. "Can you turn that the down?" I snapped, glaring at him. "I have a headache."

The music cut off and I closed my eyes, drifting off to the sound of the engine humming.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I opened my eyes as someone shook my shoulder roughly. Squinting against the sunlight, I rubbed my eyes and glared at Eunhyuk. 

"We're here," he informed me before walking towards the door that was in his garage. I frowned as I walked behind him while he carried my luggage.

"Eunhyuk, who is this?" a voice asked, but I couldn't see who it was considering I was behind Eunhyuk. I guessed it was his dad, though.

"A friend," he responded curtly. "He's staying with us."

"Bu-"

"He's staying with us," Eunhyuk interrupted sharply, most likely glaring in the direction of his dad. So I guess he was an to everyone.

I stepped off to the side, now able to look properly at the guy. He had Eunhyuk's hair and the same tall, fit build. "That's fine, but I want you to spend some time with SuJin," he told his son as a woman walked into the room.

Eunhyuk laughed humorlessly. "When the world ing ends." Both of their faces dropped and I just bit my lip and followed Eunhyuk, uncomfortable with the obvious tension that was between his family.

"Was that your sister?" I asked quietly as we walked through a large, expensive looking living room and to a spiral staircase. 

"Dad's new ," he informed me as we climbed up the stairs and walked down a hallway. "This is your room," he told me, opening a door to what looked like a guest bedroom.

A pale blue bedspread layed out across a tall, king sized bed that had way too many huge, fluffy pillows piled on top of it. There was also a TV and a dresser for me to put my clothes in for the time being.

"Um, thanks," I mumbled, stumbling over my feet as I walked to the bed.

"When was the last time you ate?"

I shrugged. "Don't remember."

"Well are you hungry?"

"No," I lied, laying back on the bed. It felt so good to lay down. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically drained and all I had done was get in a car and sleep. My body couldn't even handle that.

Hah.

"I'm going out then," Eunhyuk informed me, giving me a look before closing the door.

"Kay," I mumbled out, my voice hollow and cold. I didn't ing care where he went. I didn't care about anything. All I wanted to do was sleep and drown in my own ing misery. And that was it.

I yawned, closing my eyes to catch up on sleep that I probably didn't even need.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because isn't even a reason!"

"You didn't ask for a reason."

"You knew I wanted one. You're just being stubborn," Eunhyuk whined. I rolled my eyes, not responding. "Please eat."

"No," I said sharply, looking away from him.

"Seriously, eat, shower, do something! At least change clothes, damn it."

"I've only been here a day."

"But you've been like this for four or five days. I'm going to ask one more time. Will you please eat?"

"No," I told him coldly.

"Fine, but you made me do this." The next second after he was done speaking, I was no longer on my bed. Eunhyuk had his arms hooked under my armpits, crossing over my chest as he tried to drag me away.

I put my feet down on the ground, attempting to create enough friction to stop Eunhyuk's ability to drag me, but apparently he hadn't meant to drag me very far anyways.

"Why am I in the bathroom?" I wondered aloud, confused. Didn't he just say he wanted me to eat? I didn't imagine there being any food in the bathroom.

The door closed and then locked. Eunhyuk gave me a look but didn't tell me what the was going on as he the shower water. I just leaned against the wall, closing my eyes as my chest still ached with the pain of my broken heart.

Eunhyuk's hands found the belt buckle to my jeans and he slowly undid them before moving to the zipper. "I'm not in the mood to get by you," I told him quietly, pathetically watching as he slid my pants down to my ankles, not having the energy to do anything about it.

"I'm not trying to you," he told me softly, taking my shoes and socks off before pulling my pants down.

I bit my lip, confused. Tears came to my eyes and I wasn't even sure why. For being so unable to show emotions for the past few days, now they were hard to hold in. 

"Did I hurt you or something?" Eunhyuk asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.

I shook my head and looked away, blinking back the tears that so desperately wanted to come out. Eunhyuk just nodded, cautiously lifting my shirt off of my body. 

I saw Eunhyuk's eyes flash with hunger, but he shook his head quickly and began backing towards the door. 

"You can take your boxers off on your own, right? Okay, good. There's a towel on the counter for you and um, yeah," he stumbled over his words awkwardly before leaving the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

I hesitantly slid my boxers off, stepping into the shower. The warm water hit my cold, exposed skin, sending chills erupting all over my body. I shivered and put my head under the water, literally washing the dirt and grime off of my body.

Once I got in the shower, I didn't want to get out. I just wanted to sit and think. Why the hell was I getting randomly emotional? Maybe the true reality of what happened hit me.

An image of Taemin and his new guy flashed before my eyes, the new guy kissing Taemin's temple before class, just like I used to. Taemin giggled and looked up at him with adoring eyes. The lovely eyes he used to look at me with.

I didn't realize I was crying until my body heaved, needing oxygen. I let out a sob, leaning my head against the wall for support as a whole new, fresh round of tears rolled down my cheeks. And just when I thought I had no tears left, there was obviously more to come.

I don't know how long I cried, but I know it must've been long enough to concern Eunhyuk because a knock sounded on the door. "Are you almost done?"

"Yeah," I called out weakly, rubbing my eyes and shutting the water off. 

I growled quietly to myself when I realized I didn't have any clothes to change into. With my towel around my waist, I opened the bathroom door. 

"Umph!" I exclaimed as I tripped over something when I emerged from the bathroom door. I looked back to see what I had tripped over.

Clothes.

I groaned and got up, seeing what clothes had been left for me. A loose navy shirt and gray sweatpants. Sighing, I moved to put my boxers on, but then I smelt it.

Pancakes and bacon.

My jaw dropped as I nearly drooled, the aroma of breakfast completely overwhelming me. 

Food.

Food.

Food.

I quickly slid my boxers up my legs before leaving the room, trying to find the kitchen by sniffing around, the smell getting stronger as I decended down the stairs.

I saw Eunhyuk's expensive looking living room and knew where to go from there considering I had entered his house through the kitchen the other day.

The sound of other voices made me shy back, but I kept going anyways considering I could barely even walk straight due to lack of food and water.

"I left you clothes, you know," Eunhyuk said in a teasing voice.

I rubbed my eyes, stumbling into the kitchen. "I smelled food," I mumbled back quietly, taking a seat at the bar. 

"Food's almost ready. Oh, by the way, this is Il Hon," Eunhyuk said. gesturing to the tall guy next to him. 

I looked over at the blonde boy giving me a glare and bit my lip. "I'm Donghae," I introduced, leaning my head in my hands as I waited impatiently to eat.

"I know," he replied curtly, watching my every movement like a hawk. I shifted uncomfortably, my stomach growling. 

A plate of pancakes and bacon doused in butter and syrup slid into my view and I my lips, happily bringing the food to my mouth.

"Did you tell him about the party, Eunhyuk?" Il Hon asked, smirking at me.

I looked up from my plate, a piece of bacon hanging between my lips as I looked at Eunhyuk. "No," he responded slowly, "Why should I?"

"Because we ed," he said, sending a wink in my direction.

"So?" I responded, cutting up my pancake. "Eunhyuk s everybody."

Eunhyuk snorted, grabbing a piece of bacon from my plate, crunching it in between his teeth. I growled, my eyes narrowing into a glare. "Shut the up, I made this for you."

For some reason, Il Hon continued to get gradually agitated with us. Was he trying to make me jealous or something? Eunhyuk's life was completely irrelevant to me.

"Shouldn't you care about something like that, though?" Il Hon asked, his brows furrowing in confusion.

"Um, no?" I said warily, shooting him an incredulous look. "I hate the guy."

"But the other day, Eunhyuk-"

Eunhyuk growled, interrupting Il Hon from what he was attempting to say. He sent a glare in his direction, making Il Hon cower a little. "He can't know?"

"It's not important."

"What's not important?" I asked, growing more and more confused by the second.

"Nothing," Eunhyuk said sharply, giving me a look. I shrugged, finishing off my food. What the ever then.

"Well did you plan on telling him about the party tonight?" Il Hon asked, tilting his head in my direction.

I snapped my head up, my lips curving into a smirk. "Party? What party?"