back to jessica's POV

"unnie someone wants to talk to you" she said. Uhmmm who's going to visit me now. It's already late.

"come in!" i said. I'm so lazy to stand up so i will just talk to that person here in my room.

Then i closed my eyes... Feeling tired physically and emotionally.

I heard my door open signalling that there's someone who entered.

"jessica...."

"jessica..." i heard the familiar voice called me i must admit that i missed her.

"hmm?" that's my only response, i didn't open my eyes cause im too shy to see her right now.

then i felt she's coming towards me and sit on my bed.

"you know what? i really really want to talk to you this past few days, but i controlled myself in doing so.. but.... look at me now, im still talking to you" she let out a bitter laugh
"sometimes i want to text you but i know you will just ignore it cause your mad at me.. seeing your name flashes to my phone made me smile, that's how important you are to me" she laughed again.. a sad laugh.

i opened my eyes and sit on my bed facing her and i saw she wiped the tears on her face..

"yuri......" i said then i hold her hands but she pull it off and stand up.

"I'm sorry..." i said

"don't say sorry" she said while looking at me.

"but..."

"you don't have to say sorry and feel bad about what happened cause it's not your fault that i fell inlove with you.." she said and hold my hands... then my face..... i try to back off but she holds me tightly.

"please yuri you should tell your heart to forget about me" i said while pointing on her chest. 

"please forget about me and find someone who can love you whole heartedly.. someone who can return your love back to you"

she wiped the tears on my face and say.. "no sica.. i'm not going to forget you, i'm not going to find someone else. i'm not going to leave you and find someone else cause i only want you"

"sht yuri can't you understand me? i said i can't love you.. i can't love you cause i love taeyeon so much, i can't bring back the love you're giving to me so please learn to love someone else cause you're only wasting your time to me!" i said then pushed her towards my door she let me push her until the door but she's not taking her eyes off of me.

she hold the door then let out a bitter laugh 

"you love taeyeon?" she laugh again. "but do taeyeon loves you??"

"ofcourse taeyeon loves me!! how many times do i have to tell you that? we love each other!" taeyeon loves me.....
she loves me right?....

"okay, if she really loves you then why does she left you and marry other woman huh?" she said while looking at me intensely.

"she didn't leave me! she's always with me! yes she's going home to tiffany every night cause tiffany is pregnant with their child... but i know that taeyeon loves me! she loves me and only me!" i yelled at her but she just laughed again.
what the hell is wrong with this woman!

"let's say that taeyeon loves you now.... but what if tiffany already gave birth to their child? she will not going to love you anymore... taeyeon will not going to have a time for you cause she's always with tiffany, her WIFE the MOTHER of her child.... and you? when that time comes you will be NOTHING to taeyeon cause you're just only a mistress! taeyeon just want to you everytime she wants"

*PAAAAAAAKKKK*

i slap her hard.

"I know i've never been good enough for taeyeon, i've never been smart enough, clever enough, beautiful enough, passionate enough, interesting enough. never fun enough.. and i know im only just a mistress! im just her toy. you're happy now kwon yuri?.. now YOU!" i pointed at her

"GET.OUT.OF.MY.HOUSE.NOW!"

i yelled at her and gave my most hateful stare..

she immediately went out of my room and i shut the door closed enough for her to feel my anger.

then i lay on my bed..

what's wrong with me? did i do something wrong in my past life so God is not letting me be happy now? Why is this happening to me?

I just want to be happy....

I don't know which one is worse...

Loving someone knowing it's going to cause you pain

Or

Being in pain cause you can't love someone.

Maybe yuri is right... Taeyeon will going to leave me when tiffany gave birth to their child, but i will not let that going to happen.. I will not let taeyeon leave me.
I think of many ways last night and i did not have a proper sleep because of that.

"let's say that taeyeon loves you now.... but what if tiffany already gave birth to their child? she will not going to love you anymore... taeyeon will not going to have a time for you cause she's always with tiffany, her WIFE the MOTHER of her child.... and you? when that time comes you will be NOTHING to taeyeon cause you're just only a mistress! taeyeon just want to you everytime she wants"

"let's say that taeyeon loves you now.... but what if tiffany already gave birth to their child? she will not going to love you anymore... taeyeon will not going to have a time for you cause she's always with tiffany, her WIFE the MOTHER of her child.... and you? when that time comes you will be NOTHING to taeyeon cause you're just only a mistress! taeyeon just want to you everytime she wants"

"let's say that taeyeon loves you now.... but what if tiffany already gave birth to their child? she will not going to love you anymore... taeyeon will not going to have a time for you cause she's always with tiffany, her WIFE the MOTHER of her child.... and you? when that time comes you will be NOTHING to taeyeon cause you're just only a mistress! taeyeon just want to you everytime she wants"

Yuri's words keep on repeating inside my head. Why did she have to throw that in my face did she ever think that i'm going to be hurt with her reckless words..

And taeyeon... Why is it that no matter how many i remind myself that we can't be together, i still won't let myself fall for anyone else? 

What if taeyeon decided to leave me and love tiffany instead? What will going to happen to me? I'm nothing in taeyeon's life compared to tiffany... Tiffany is her WIFE.. And i'm just a ing mistress who slept with taeyeon just to be ed whenever she wanted.

I am Jessica Jung... A in mistress.. A mistress that can't fight for her love, a mistress that always back off... A mi