3 months later

"You going out, darling?" Joonyoung's head peeked from the kitchen. Yoseob was just pulling on his jacket and he had a toast in between his teeth.

"Yesh," he tried to answer, but it came out a little mushy. He struggled at guiding his arms through the sleeves, but finally managed. 

"Where to?" Joonyoung was now fully out of the kitchen, approaching Yoseob. The younger was about to answer, but the look on his boyfriend's face told him that the other already knew where he was heading.

Yoseob grabbed the toast from his mouth and sighed.

"He's taking me to this new art gallery down town. It's modern art and I really want to see it. He's got the tickets already and, yeah," Yoseob's voice faded out towards the end of his sentence and he was fiddling with his toast, taking a bite out of it.

Joonyoung shook his head a little.

"What are you looking like that for, huh? Go, have fun. We'll have dinner later, okay?" 

As Yoseob lifted his head, the only thing he could see was the blinding smile Joonyoung was giving him. It was beautiful, really.

"You're an angel, did I ever tell you that?" the brown haired one laughed, taking a couple of steps, kissing Joonyoung on the lips. 

"Yes you did. You are too. Now go," Joonyoung was ushering the younger one out of the door with a laugh, earning a sheepish smile from Yoseob.

--

Yoseob had rushed to the gallery as fast as he could, but there had been a minor accident on his way so he was late by ten minutes or so. As he paid to the cab driver, he didn't even bother to take the change. 

Doojoon had been waiting for him on the outside of the building, seemingly calmer than what Yoseob had felt. The older had assured him it was fine even if they were a bit late, since the artist would be walking around the gallery all day. They'd get a chance to chat with her.

"I'm so embarrassed. We missed the introduction," Yoseob whined as they slowly made their way around the gallery. Doojoon only chuckled, keeping his eyes on the walls, analyzing the art work. 

These kinds of things had always been more of Doojoon's piece of cake, but Yoseob enjoyed the art too. He just was more of a concert kind of a person. For the last three months they had been going to places, hanging out together.

Sometimes Doojoon would drop by at his work place to eat lunch with Yoseob and the other times they'd just talk on the phone. It was all part of their 'let's-build-up-our-relationship' plan, but it came naturally to them, honestly. 

It never felt like a menace for Yoseob to go out with Doojoon or to talk with him. At first they did have a little trouble with how they should act around each other; what was allowed and what wasn't. Soon enough they had fallen to this comfortableness they had going on now:

They hugged everytime they saw each other and everytime they separated. 

Sometimes when Doojoon walked Yoseob home, if they were out to grab a bite or something when Joonyoung had to work over hours, they'd hold hands. But that's as far as they'd go. It was safe to keep some distance, both of them being very well aware of the other's feelings.

"Do you like the paintings?" Doojoon asked, interrupting Yoseob's thoughts. The younger nodded, only now really looking around him. The paitings were all very abstract and colourful, something that was exceptional in Doojoon's taste of art.

"They're nice, yeah. A little more vibrant from what I'm used to seeing when being with you, though," Yoseob admitted, turning his gaze on to Doojoon. The raven haired man smiled a small smile, and tilted his head a little, meeting Yoseob's curious eyes.

"Maybe there's a reason," the older said, stretching his words. Yoseob furrowed his brows, poking Doojoon with his elbom, urging the other to spill it out.

Doojoon picked up his phase, acting like he didn't even notice Yoseob's nudge. The smaller one wasn't satisfied though, but kept his mouth shut. They walked side by side, in silence, Doojoon having a small smirk on his lips, while Yoseob was just huffing, rather loudly.

"Fine, I'll tell you. Just stop huffing, you'll annoy the other people," Doojoon laughed quietly as they came to a stop, in front of a huge painting. It covered up the whole wall, the wall that indicated they had walked through half of the exhibition already.

Doojoon had once again gone silent, and Yoseob was getting impatient. He nudged Doojoon once again.

"Then tell me already."

Doojoon kept his eyes on the painting while he spoke.

"Gayoon and I, we're getting divorced. I'm not saying I'd be jumping out of joy, I wasn't exactly miserable with her as you know. But I feel like now I can finally do what I want. This seals the deal of my father being gone and I don't think this is the only thing changing."

Yoseob couldn't care less about the painting as he stared at Doojoon with wide eyes. Sure, the divorce wasn't a surpise to anybody, everyone knew the two were together just for the show. But somehow Yoseob had managed to lull himself in this safe feeling of him and Doojoon just being friends, not having to think about other things, since Doojoon had Gayoon.

But now it would be different. Surely Doojoon wouldn't wait for Yoseob's decision forever. Now that the older was free from the marriage, he could also move on properly, with someone else. 

They had had a few drunken conversations over Doojoon and Gayoon's life, which was basically non-existent. The information had somehow warmed up Yoseob's heart, even though he and Joonyoung did have a healthy life themselves. He felt kind of bad about being happy about the older's 'misery', but he couldn't lie about something so relevant.

"You're getting... right, right. It only makes sense, yeah," Yoseob mumbled, and then spoke louder, "so you're single then? Or have you signed the papers yet?" 

Doojoon nodded, before turning to Yoseob

"Yeah, this morning. She seemed happy too, I think she's met someone," Doojoon grinned  slightly, earning the same reaction from Yoseob.

"So am I. She deserves all the best after these years," the younger one chimed in, making Doojoon nod. 

The pair just looked at each other, both clearly avoiding the apparent question floating in the room. To Yoseob, it seemed like it'd be the best if they didn't talk about the matter in an art gallery, in the middle of all these people. 

"Shall we move on? I think we're blocking the view," Doojoon laughed, nudging Yoseob towards the other hallways, the ones they hadn't seen yet.

"Yeah, let's go." 

****

Joonyoung opened the door, to reveal a smiling Junhyung. 

"Ah, glad you could make it with such a short notice," Joonyoung gave the other one a sheepish grin, and let him inside. Junhyung laughed a little, thanking the older for the invitation.

They made their way to the kitchen and Joonyoung gave his friend a cup of hot coffee as they sat down on around the table. 

"So. Why invite me? I'm starting to think you don't have other friends than just us," Junhyung teased, taking a sip of his coffee, earning a chuckle from Joonyoung.

"I do. They all just have families and barely got any time to see me," the older admitted. 

They caught up for some time, talking about Junhyung's productions and Joonyoung's toughest patients, anonymously of course. They also exchanged a few words about Hyunseung, which lead them to the following subject:

"Where's Yoseob, by the way?" Junhyung asked, only now coming to think about it. 

"Guess," Joonyoung answered with a slight smile gracing his lips, while he fiddled with his coffee cup. It took about two seconds for Junhyung to understand, before he grimaced. 

"Again? They've been going out a lot lately, huh.." it was more of a statement, but Joonyoung nodded.

It was silent for a while, Joonyoung obviously being a little distracted, while Junhyung tried to figure out what way to approach the topic. 

"How do you feel about it?" okay, so he chose to use the therapist way with an actual therapist, but who cares.

Joonyoung actually laughed, the crinkles by his eyes showing and all, before he got more serious again.

"I don't know," he sighed, sipping the lasts of his coffee before continuing, "but I do know he'd never cheat on me. We're honest with each other. Always have been and I trust we'll always be, too." 

"But still you had to bring up the topic of him cheating in the first place? You're worried about something, otherwise you'd be talking to him about this,"Junhyung said, urging the older to keep going.

"Alright, you are right. I'm not worried, it's not that. There are other things occupying my mind and I'm not completely sure how to approach this, honestly speaking," Joonyoung's voice gave out his nervousness and that kind of made Junhyung nervous too, because he had never seen Joonyoung nervous in the first place. 

"Tell me you aren't cheating. Are you?" 

"Oh god no. I would never. Yoseob's my baby, come on, I'd never hurt him purposely," Joonyoung was quick to answer, shaking his head violently. 

"It's not like that. We trust each other, like I said. But," Joonyoung was obviously struggling to get the words out of his mouth, as if he was hurting while even thinking about it, "but, I don't know what to do. I've been thinking about proposing. For a long time now, but now that Doojoon's back for good, I don't know if that's the best idea." 

There was fear in Joonyoung's eyes and it was a real wake up call for Junhyung. The fear he saw was not fear of Yoseob saying no, it was something else. What made his feel uneasy, was Joonyoung's demeanour. 

It was out of his character to show his emotions this clearly. Nevertheless, Junhyung nodded, signaling for the other to go on.

Joonyoung stared at his hands now instead of looking atJunhyung's face. He was biting his bottom lip and shaking his head a little.

"Four or five months ago, I'm pretty sure he would've said yes without hesitating, without having to think about it twice. But now-- now I'm just afraid I'll confuse him, make things harder. It's obvious they're trying to see if it could still work out between them. And I'm not even mad, because Doojoon's special, always has been." 

Junhyung nodded slowly, gathering his thoughts.

"Well, you're right about that. Doojoon will always hold a special place in Yoseob's heart, no matter if they're together or not," the younger said, then gave a sad smile to the other, "I'm sorry, but I think you shouldn't propose to him. It'll end  up hurting both of you. Doojoon's here to stay, not as a boyfriend maybe, but as a friend; definitely. You can't break them apart and I know you don't even want to. That's good. But as much as it to say this, I have to; you can't compete with Doojoon." 

The silence was heavy, until Joonyoung nodded in defeat. 

"I know. That's what I thought. And that's why I don't even have a ring, or anything. I mean, I love him, gosh, I love him so much, you know," Joonyounh was now the one smiling sadly, holding back tears.

"I still rememember the day we met. He had tried to kill himself. I couldn't believe it, not for one second. I always knew he was a strong person, like an angel. I knew and when I saw him, I honestly felt like ditching my boyfriend so I could love him better. Professional right?

Well, anyways. Then I figured out he was long gone. Gone for Doojoon that is. And I was really disappointed, not going to lie to you. I just wished he'd call me and let me be his therapist so I could have his presence in my life, some way at least. 

And he did call, can you believe that Jun? He chose to open up to me and I felt so privliged, even though I was just doing my job.

I fell in love. Hard." Joonyoung was still smiling when he finished his thoughts, and he wasn't crying. But Junhyung heard the tears in his voice and he didn't remember when was the last time he had felt this bad. Joonyoung's feelings for Yoseob were as real as Yoseob's and Doojoon's feeling for each other, it was almost sickening how things were going.

"I'm sorry J, I really am. I mean, love's a happy thing, right? I don't have experience in loving people I shouldn't but.." Junhyung couldn't find the right words, so he just gave the older the most comforting smile he could manage.

Joonyoung nodded, giving out a small smile with a little less sadness in it.

"Also, I've been dreaming about having a family for quite a while now. Yoseob's only 23, I'm almost 30. I don't think Yoseob would start one with me, not in the near future, with or without Doojoon," Joonyoung added, taking couple of deep breaths.

"Yeah. Look, man, I feeel bad for you, I really do," Junhyung sighed deeply, not daring to look at Joonyoung, "I never knew you felt this deeply of him. I've always appreciated the fact that you've taken such a good care of him. And I'd like to believe you will keep good care of him in the future too."

Joonyoung smiled, this time properly.

"I will. I'm not going anywhere, even if this comes to an end," Joonyoung promised, but continued then, "Say, Jun. Do you think it would be absolutely horrible of me to postpone 'the talk' by some days or perhaps some weeks even? I feel like I need to do stuff with him before I give him up. Is that wrong of me?"

Junhyung immedaiately shook his head. 

"Don't leave him before you're absolutely sure he'll pick Doojoon, okay? I know it might also turn out to be hurtful to have him around when you know it's going to end, but you know him right? You know he won't make it if you just leave him out of the blue."

"I never planned on leaving without a warning, don't worry. Me and Yoseob, we talk things through and then decide. So that's what I will do with him, when the time comes. Right now, I guess I should give him the time," Joonyoung spoke, but he was obviously still torn inside.  

Junhyung could only hope that things would work out for the best. But if he was sure about anything, then it was the fact that he'd never, ever, say a word about Joonyoung's and his talk to Yoseob, if Joonyoung didn't either. 

Too many emotions. 

****

It had been a few good weeks since the art gallery visit and Yoseob had come to notice that he didn't have as much time to see Doojoon as he had had for some months. The weeks had flown by with doing various different things with Joonyoung.

It wasn't that Yoseob didn't enjoy their time spent together, just the two of them, but it did strike as a bit odd to him. Joonyoung had made special arrangements with his work so that they could go on extended weekend trips and such. They even went to Jeju Island for a week, just a week ago.

It had been really nice, relaxing and all, Yoseob had to admit. But he did miss spending time with Doojoon.

And that scared him.

Realising that Doojoon had once again become a permanent part of his life, an apparent part even. Something he couldn't imagine his life without. Something he needed, craved even.

And so it had been kinda hard, as Yoseob had found himself being more often distracted by the thoughts of Doojoon than not.

Today, however, would be the day he'd been waiting for. Doojoon took him out on a dinner. It was a first proper dinner 'date' they had had in years, just the two of them. Sure, they had lunch together every now and then, but it wasn't the same.

The restaurant was dimly lit, Christmas and New Years Eve being rather close and all. A silent hum of conversation filled the space and it felt really nice, warm and comfortable.

Doojoon was sat accross the table, sipping on his wine, smiling. They had just got their main course.

"So, I've only been babbling about my weeks. What's been going on with you?" Yoseob asked, breaking the short moment of silence.

The raven haired one's smile faltered a little, as he coughed uneasily, taking away Yoseob's snuggly warm feeling. The face Doojoon had on, usually meant bad news.

"I've been good. Gayoon and I sold the apartment and now I've been crashing on my mum's couch to tell the truth," a small laugh from Doojoon, "But I've already found a place of my own." 

Yoseob smiled, tilting his head a little. "You have? Where is it? Close to mine and Joonyoung's? Or closer to Seung and Jun?" 

Doojoon grimaced a little before shaking his head.

"Not really," he went silent for a second and Yoseob tried to put the pieces together, to finish the puzzle, but he got nothing from Doojoon's hesitating eyes.

"It's not really in Seoul. I mean, it's kind of in Manhattan, like in New York," Doojoon wasn't speaking confidently, something that Yoseob wasn't really used to.

If Doojoon had something that he had carried with him ever since the two had met years back, then it was his confidence. But there was no trace of confidence in his voice in that moment.

It took a second or two for Yoseob to collect his thoughts, which ended up being pretty messy anyways.

"What?" it came out choked and dry, unbelieving, "What does 'kind of in Manhattan' mean?" 

Doojoon gulped, shaking his head, not daring to look at Yoseob. "Means that it is in Manhattan."

Yoseob had to put his cutlery down, as he leaned his forehead in his hands. His brain wasn't registering the words, not understading what Doojoon was saying.

"As in, Manhattan, that's on the other side of the globe? Is that what you're saying?" Yoseob was breathing heavily, trying his hardest not to let panic settle in, even though it might've been a tad too late.

Doojoon nodded, scratching the back of his neck.

Sure, it wasn't exactly Yoseob's business if Doojoon wanted to pack his things and leave Seoul, because they weren't a thing or anything.

But it did hurt.

They had spent years going back and forth with their unsteady relationship and now Doojoon was ready to throw it all away, for what?

"Why Manhattan?" Yoseob asked with a small voice.

"It's far away. I want a fresh start and I applied to a school there. I have loads of money Yoseob, but I'm not doing what I want to do. I want to be a pianist, always have wanted. You know that. Right now, I'm allowed to leave the company and that's what I've wanted to do since day one. I'm signing it off to Gayoon first thing tomorrow morning and then fly to New York on Saturday," Doojoon explained, and there was something, maybe a hint of passion, in his voice.

It pained Yoseob that he heard it. It pained him, that he had to aknowledge the excitement, because he only wanted for Doojoon to be happy.

Yoseob had been so wrapped up in his own bubble, that he hadn't realised that maybe Doojoon wasn't happy being here in Seoul. Yoseob had Joonyoung and he had Doojoon too, in a way. Doojoon didn't have anyone to love, anyone to care for and not even a job that he enjoyed.

There was literally nothing for him in Seoul.

"What about me then?" And still that question sneaked its way out from between Yoseob's lips, making Doojoon's head snap up.

"What do you mean?" the reply came quickly, and it seemed like Doojoon was holding his breath.

And in that moment Yoseob knew. He understood.

Doojoon had been wrestling with this probably for a long time, with the moving and all. Because he had been thinking about asking Yoseob to come with him, for sure. The hopeful yet fear-filled look in his eyes said it all. Doojoon had probably spent nights lying in his bed, picturing different things that Yoseob could reply with, if he had asked for the younger to come with him.

Yoseob wasn't ready. Not ready to face these questions, ready to face his choice. The choice he should've made ages ago, for good.

When he realised he had feelings for Joonyoung, to be exact.

That's when he should've drawn the line, the line between friendly and loving feelings. And if he should've felt loving feelings towards Doojoon or towards Joonyoung.

But he had been silly, little kid. Thinking that he'd probably be able to let Joonyoung go easily once Doojoon would be free from his marriage.

Talk about naive.

"I don't know. I-- I know, I shouldn't have a say in this, honestly. I'm just a friend--"

"Wrong. You're not just a friend," there was frustration in Doojoon's voice as he grabbed his hair in a way that looked painful to Yoseob.

It broke the younger's heart.

"Can't we-- Could we just face the question Yoseob? I was hoping, wishing, that I could leave the city with a peaceful mind, with an answer. I don't want to push you. I just hope you understand that I've been fighting these feelings for years. I can't read you as well as I used to, it makes me restless," Doojoon was clutching his hands together tightly, trying to search something from Yoseob's eyes.

Yoseob kind of hoped that the older wouldn't find a thing, as painful as the words were. He was afraid his eyes would lie or maybe tell a truth neither one of them were ready to face.

The truth was, Yoseob didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he was ready to throw away everything him and Joonyoung had built together over the years. He wasn't sure if he was ready.

Yoseob looked down at his hands, letting out a melancholic laugh.

"It would be worth it, wouldn't it.." Yoseob's voice was quiet and sad, thick from emotion.

"What?" Doojoon perked up, leaning a little closer.

"I just-- It would be worth it, wouldn't it? Going with you and leaving all this behind. It would be worth it. You'd make me happy, thousand times happy. And then when we'd go out to eat dinner like this and the waitress would think we're a couple, it would be perfect because we would be one," Yoseob's eyes were watery, he was sniffling a little.

Doojoon gave his hand to Yoseob, which the younger gladly took. Doojoon caressed Yoseob's hand with his thumb, trying to figure out the right words, or words a