CHAPTER 31- UNSURE

IRENE'S POV

    Going back to Korea, Yifei and I started to prepare for the wedding, with her doing most of the preparations because I was so busy with hospital work.

    "Irene, what do you think of this? Isn't this lovely? You like purple right? We could combine it with yellow. They'll look good together." Yifei and the wedding organizer were there in my office, showing me different themes from where I can choose from but I wasn't paying too much attention. My mind was somewhere else. I was staring at the album but actually was not really looking at what was inside.

    His face kept popping inside my head, the feel of his hand holding face, the touch of his skin, the sensation he brings everytime his lips touches mine. I wish I wasn't having these thoughts because I know this was unfair for Kris. He IS my fiance after all. He IS the one I am marrying, not Seokjin. But thoughts of Seokjin always keep flooding in like an uncontrollable wave crashing down on me.

    "Irene? Are you okay?" Yifei's voice suddenly broke my train of thoughts.
    
    "Ah, yeah. What was it again?" I blinked and went back to looking at the pictures in front of me.

    "Really Irene, this is YOUR wedding we are planning. Pay more attention please. It seems like I am more excited than you are for your wedding." She leaned back on her seat and stared at me, her eyebrow raised.

    "I'm sorry. It's just that there are a lot of things going on in my head right now," I said.

    "I hope those thoughts have something to do with the wedding." I noticed that she said it with a bit of sarcasm. I looked at her, trying to hide the anxiety. She doesn't know anything right?

    She suddenly asked the wedding organizer to leave us alone inside my office. The wedding organizer complied and bowed to us before leaving the room. She faced me again and started talking. "Irene, let me be honest with you. Lately I noticed that you haven't been yourself. You look dazed, out of focus, I don't know but do you have a problem? If you have ,you can tell me."

    "Huh, I'm totally fine, Yifei. Maybe I'm just..." I said but was cut off.

    "Is it about Jin, Irene?" I looked at her in surprise. Why was she asking me that? She is not supposed to know anything. Oh no, what am I going to do?

    "Yifei, Seokjin and I are just..."

    "Friends? Wow so cliche, Irene. Jin told me already. Back in Maldives. Now tell me Irene, what do you feel for him?"

    I was so shocked with her sudden outburst. "Yifei."

    "Irene we are talking about my brother here and if there is one thing that I don't want to happen, that is him getting hurt. Now tell me, do you like Jin?"

    "Yifei, I love your brother. Seokjin, he is just a friend. I'm marrying your brother." I don't know how to explain to her. I love Kris but my heart was always longing for Seokjin. I'm marrying Kris but somewhere in my heart, I was unsure of what I am doing right now, whether this is right or should I just call it quits with Kris. I don't want to hurt him, but right now I don't know if I was doing the right thing. Seokjin, who told me he loves me, was making me so confused right now but I was afraid to admit it. Not in front of Yifei, I don't want to hurt her.

    "I hope that is true Irene, I trust you. I'll hold onto your words. I hope you stick to them. I'll be leaving now. Goodbye, Irene." Yifei turned and headed to the door leaving me alone in my office. I want to cry at that moment, feelings of uncertatinty flooding my chest. I was confused, confused over my own feelings, I love Kris but I also love Seokjin. How am I able to choose between the two of them when they are both important to me?

    Suddenly Wendy came in my office. "Eonnie, was that Yifei?" She said pointing at her back. I nodded.

    "She came here for the wedding preparations right? She seems more excited than you are." She sat down in front of me. "Hey, what's with that face?"

    I stared at her as she raised her eyebrow waiting for my explanation. I sighed and buried my face on my hands trying hard not to cry. "I don't know what to do anymore Wendy."

    She held on my shoulder and said, "I don't know if this is of any help, but Irene-eonnie, you're the only one who can decide, whether you marry Kris or follow what your heart really tells you to do."

    I bit my lower lip, still so confused. I know my wedding will be in two months but, unlike most brides who were excited about the thought of it, I was fearing it as time goes by, when I know I shouldn't be.

KRIS'S POV

    I waited for Jin at the coffee shop just across their building. While sipping from my americano, I saw him walking through the shop's glass door and head towards my direction. Placing his bag on an empty seat, he sat down and spoke. "Why did you call me?"

    "Let's get straight to the point, Jin. I don't like you getting too close with Irene. Stay away from her," I said in a point blank manner.

    "Joohyun is a close friend of mine. You can't just tell me to stay away." He said. I was starting to get annoyed.

    "Joohyun? Why do you call her Joohyun? She never let's anyone call her that? Don't think I am blind or foolish, Jin. I know you like her. I am also a man and I know. She is getting married to me." I made sure I emphasized the word me. "I don't want her getting confused or anything so stay away from her. Do it while I am still asking nicely."

    His face was starting to turn red from anger. "Who are you to tell me that?" He said through gritted teeth.

    "It is simple Jin. I am her fiance, let's keep things in perspective here. If there is someone who has more right to her here, that would be me. Keep that in mind. Excuse me." I stood up and headed to the door, leaving him behind.

NO ONE'S POV

    Irene was awaken by the sound of her phone ringing. She squinted and checked what time it was. 4 AM. Who calls at this early hour in the morning? She picked up her phone and checked the name on the screen. Seokjin, it flashed. I suddenly was awake, sitting up on my bed and continued staring on the screen. My heart pounded against my chest. Should I answer his call? I thoroughly pondered on it. It feels like I was betraying Kris, but a big part of me wants to hear Seokjin's voice.

    My finger slowly touched the screen and moved the answer button. "Nae, yeobeoseyo?"

    "Joohyun-ah? Sorry to call you at this time but can we meet?  I'm here waiting just outside your house." He sounded dejected. Irene looked to her window and there he was standing outside. She got up from her bed and started to change into something decent.

    She then ran down the stairs and out of the house. As she opened the gate there he was, standing in front of her with his hands in his pocket. He looked up to Irene as soon as she opened the gate. What he did next surprised her. He wrapped his arms around her in an embrace. Irene's eyes grew wide. "Seokjin-ah!"

    "Joohyun-ah, I know you love me. Please don't continue with the wedding. I'm sorry but I beg you, don't. I can't do this anymore, acting like I'm alright but all the while I am dying inside. I can't continue watching you slowly drifting farther away from me, day by day," said Jin.

    They stayed like that for a moment until Irene took his arms away from her and looked away from him. "Seokjin-ah, please, we have to stop this. I'm marrying Kris." She tried her best to stop the tears that were forming in her eyes. Just not now, not in front of Jin. "Please go. Leave."

    "Joohyun-ah." Jin caught her hand as she turned to closed the gate. "Why is it so hard for you to tell me you love me too?" Irene looked back at him, now who was not able to stop the tears from falling.

    "You want to know the truth? Yes, I loved you. I love you since we were still students. I loved you even when you were still with Hyuna. I always wanted you for myself but I can't! So now Seokjin, are you happy?" Jin was dumbstruck. So, she really did love him. He should be shouting with joy now after finding out but he can't. Not with their complicated situation now.

    "Joohyun-ah, I... I should have known long ago. I'm sorry." Jin stared at her with loving eyes. Irene's chest hurt just by the look of it but she can't handle the idea of hurting Kris, her bestfriend. Someone who she knows cares for her far more anything in the world.

    "I can't break Kris's heart. He is really precious to me and has been nothing but good to me. I'm sorry Jin. Let's not meet anymore." Irene pulled out of Jin's grasp and turned to close the gates to him. Jin, who was staring at the gate, felt empty and let the tears fall from his eyes.

    Unknown to them, a girl was watching their conversation inside her car, a few meters away from them. Yifei got out of her car as soon as Irene returned home. She waited for Jin to come her way and spoke to him. "Didn't I tell you she is loyal to Kris? You should have listened to me." Yifei leaned on her car with arms crossed in front of her.

    Jin remained silent and stared at her. Yifei continued, "Just let them be. They'll be married in two months. If you keep doing this, Irene will just get more confused."

    "You don't have to worry for your brother anymore. Irene told me that we should not meet anymore. I hope you are satisfied now." He continued walking to his car, leaving Yifei alone. He got in and started driving away from Irene's place. As he got in the group's dorm, Jungkook and Namjoon was there, wide awake.

    Jungkook ran to him. "Hyung! Where did you go? We were worried because we didn't find you in your room."

    Jin hung his coat on the coat rack and crashed his body on their sofa. He did a big sigh and spoke, "I went to Irene's house. I asked her not to continue with the marriage with Kris but she asked me not to see her again instead."

    "Oh," they both said. Jin remained silent and closed his eyes, drowning himself with the images of Irene in his head. Her face before they became friends, her beautiful transformation and the Irene he sees now. The Irene he can never have. The Irene he badly wanted, needed but can never have.

    "Will you give up just like that?" Namjoon suddenly asked. "Hyung, you waited eight years to see her again. You can't just let her slip away like that again. You love her, right? Then fight for her."

    "Do you really think I didn't do that? I told her I love her, begged for her to stay with me but she still chose Kris. I can't blame her. I realized I love her right after she was gone. I didn't realize she loved me too. I should have known, I should have felt it long before." Jin sat up and wiped the tears with the back of his hand.

    "You mean she told you she loved you?" Jungkook asked. Jin nodded. "I'm so sorry about that Hyung. If only I had known earlier and told you, maybe..."

    "Don't Jungkook. You didn't do anything wrong. Its just that I just can't help thinking what would have been if it was us." Jin hung his head low. The two just sat beside him with Namjoon patting Jin's back trying his best to console a heartbroken friend.

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Here you go. Another chapter. Oh, we are already close to the end of the story and every moment of it is so heartbreaking right now. 

Don't be shy to leave your comments. I'd love to know what you all think. =)

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