CHAPTER 12- JUST FOR ONE DAY, LET ME BE SELFISH

IRENE'S POV

    I agreed to meet Seokjin at the tree house. I walked through the woods and climbed to the tree house. I looked up to see a bouquet of flowers in front of me. Seokjin's face suddenly appeared behind me.

    "Hey, mianhaeyo. I don't know why you seem angry at me but whatever it is, I'm very sorry." He helped me up the tree house. "I don't want Jinhyun's mom to be angry at me."

    I took the bouquet from him. "Are you angry at me?" I remained silent. "Is it because of Hyuna?"

    I looked to him. "Huh? Why should be angry at you with Hyuna? She is your girlfriend. There is no reason for me to be angry. I was just not feeling well last night." Nice lie, Irene. I looked away from him and walked inside. "Thanks for the flowers."

    "So you're not angry at me? I know at the library, Hyuna was rude. I'm sorry about that one, Joohyun." Seokjin kept following me. I shook my head. "Oh jinjja? Omo, thank you Joohyun. I was really bothered last night. You know I don't want any misunderstanding with you. I'll really feel bad. But anyway are you feeling okay now?" He placed his hand on my forehead. I stared at his face. I can't help but look at him. He's so wonderful.

    How can I even do what Hyuna asks me to, when you make me feel this way, I thought. I know it's too much but sometimes I wish we met at different circumstances. Maybe things would have turned out differently and it wouldn't be this difficult. I know I already love him but I know he can never be mine too. 

    "Joohyun-ah?" I came back to my senses. "Ah, nae. I'm fine now Seokjin. Let's study?" I sat down and opened our books. I started discussing to him our lessons for like an hour and he started losing focus. "Do you want to rest a while?" I asked him. 

    He was staring at me the whole while. I didn't notice it. "Waeyo? I'm still not conviced Joohyun. There certainly is something bothering you. Come on, just tell me." He held my hands. I pulled my hands away, I felt nervous. 

    "I told you Seokjin, I'm fine." I stood up, I was trying hard to hide my feelings now, my chest hurt.

    "You're lying." Seokjin followed me as I went out.
    
    "What makes you so sure I'm lying, huh?" I was about to have an outburst. I can understand it but I have been bottling up my feelings long enough I needed release. "You don't even know me to well to say that."

     "Joohyun, you can tell me anything. I'll be listening." He was looking in to my eyes, those beautiful eyes I know will look to me as a friend and nothing more than that. "No Seokjin. You'll never understand." I turned to walk away. I want to leave but he was fast enough to grab my arm and pull me in for a hug.

    "Don't Joohyun-ah, don't walk away from me like this." He gently held my head to his chest. He held me close to him in his strong arms. "If you are not ready to tell me, it's okay. I won't force you. Just stay here and if you want to cry, cry on me. Let it all out an me." His hand held mine and let me wrap them around him. I sobbed on his chest. How can I tell you that you are the reason I am acting this way?  How can I even tell you I love you, Seokjin? 

    "I'm sorry I really can't tell you." I murmurred, still resting my head on his chest. I was still locked in nis arms.

    "Gwaenchanayo." He simply said. He kept rubbing my hair with the palm of his hand. "Are you feeling better now?" I nodded.

    "Let's get inside. It's a bit cold here." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and guided me in. He made me sit on the sofa and got me a glass of water. He knelt in front of me. I drank from it and placed it on the table beside me.

    He suddenly held my face and made me look at him. "You look better when you are smiling,you know that." He smiled. "Stop crying now, okay? You look like this when you are crying." He crumpled his face into a funny face which made me laugh. I gently punched his shoulder.

    "Whoa! A while ago you were crying, how can you shift so suddenly into a punching machine?" Hw acted incredulous but returned to being serious. "But seriously Joohyun, are you feeling better now?" I nodded at him. "That's good. I don't ever want to see you cry, it hurts me too, Joohyun. If you can't tell me your problem now, I can wait." He kissed my forehead. I was startled but I tried not to show it.

    "Can I lie on your lap for a while?" He asked.

    "Here's the sofa, Seokjin. You can sleep here." I tried to avoid that. Seokjin acted cute. "Aw, I want to sleep on your lap. You're more comfortable."

    I sighed deeply and gave in. Just for now, Irene. "Okay." I placed a pillow on my lap and tapped on it. He lied down and closed his eyes. I combed his hair with my fingers as I watched him fall asleep.

    I didn't even think of falling for you, Seokjin, I thought to myself. I wish I met you in a different manner, a different time when you were not someone else's. We might have had a different fate. It's not bad to hope right? It's not bad to want you for myself. Just for today, let me be selfish.

    I felt my tear fall and I wiped it dry. I went down and let my lips touch his. I felt sorry for myself at that moment, when all I can do is kiss him in his sleep, and keep my feelings to myself. 

    At least for now, I'll have you, I thought, just one little moment, Kim Seokjin.

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A short chapter with Irene's feeling of longing for Jin. Hope you like it and don't be shy to leave your comments. =)