The first thing I noticed when I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror was the absence of mortification and self-loathe. Maybe it was my brain playing trick on me or my racing heart distracting me as my eyes flickered back and forth between the mark on my neck and the other one on my chest. And for the umpteenth time that day I had to pull myself together to shake a flashback off my mind. But with the traces so evidently engraved on my body, erasing the memory wasn't as easy as falling off a log. I grabbed the towel off the rack and wrapped it around my body as I made my way back into the bedroom. I pulled open the dresser drawer and grabbed a set of neatly folded underwear but before I got a chance to put them on, I heard a buzzing sound from across the room so I tossed the delicates on my bed and walked over to the night stand where my phone was laid upon. A name flashed on the screen and I swiped my thumb across to answer the call.

“Hel…”

The voice on the other line cut me off before I could even finish my greeting “Oh God I’ve been calling you for a million times now.”

I rolled my eyes at Eun Byul’s dramatic complain as I took my phone away from my ear only to notice a missed call sign on the top left hand corner.

“Sorry I was in the shower.” I reasoned, back to positioning the device next to my ear.

I heard her heave a long sigh before she continued “I thought you ignored my calls on purpose.”

Shocked, I snapped at her “Why would I?”

“Kang told me that you came to my house a few days ago..” She said, bringing the conversation back to the day I paid her a visit, though I didn’t actually get to see her.

There was a moment of silence before she resumed “I couldn’t get ahold of you because my parents took my phone away.”

I nodded in understanding although I knew she couldn’t see it.

Again, she sighed “And not only that, they wanted to transfer me to another school because they were so mad at the old man for giving me a suspension.”

Instantly, my heart clenched at her statement. The feeling of remorse that had been haunting me for the past few days was back to terrorize. I opened my mouth to request for more details but no words came out.

As if she could read my thoughts, Eun byul elaborated further “Don’t worry. I made a huge fuss about it and they let me stay.” She shrugged it off as if it was no big deal.

I breathed out a relieved sigh though still feeling guilty about everything.

“And you!!!Why didn’t you leave me a message or something? You know I’ll definitely get back to you as soon as I have my phone back.” She scolded, shifting the focus of conversation on me.

A ‘sorry’ was the only thing that rolled out of my tongue. It was true that I didn’t try to contact Eun Byul ever since her mother told me she was grounded. It didn’t come out as a surprise to me when she told me she had her cell confiscated. I figured as much.

“Chae rim-ah please don’t blame yourself.” She comforted. “It wasn’t you who got me into the fight. I was just so angry I thought I needed to teach that a lesson when she talked bad about you in front of everyone.”

“I know I just…” I cleared my throat, struggling to finish my sentence. “..I just feel bad for dragging you into all this, into my problems.”

“Yah pabo what are you talking about? You don’t say that kind of thing to your best friend, okay? Just stop blaming yourself, will you?” She protested in a frustration-filled tone.

Our conversation went on for another few minutes before my mom’s voice interrupted as she let me know that dinner was ready so I told Eun Byul that I needed to end the call. Even after the line got disconnected, I couldn’t help but to wonder what I had done to deserve such a loyal friend. It only made me hate myself even more.

All dry and dressed, I made my way down the stairs and headed towards the dining room. I settled down in my seat, placing the bowl of rice I just scooped for myself on the fully set-up table.

“Why are you eating so little, chae rim-ah?” Mom asked as she peered at my bowl, a pair of chopsticks on her hand ready to fill up my bowl with all the side dishes she had prepared.

“Mom that’s enough.” I stopped her before she could continue transferring more food onto the bowl I was holding.

“You’re already so thin chae rim-ah. Why eat so little?” She sighed.

“That’s enough for now mom. I can always get more when I finish this.” I convinced though truth to be told, I had no plan for that. The amount of food on my bowl was already way more than what I planned to eat. With people calling me busty, I didn’t see the need to gain more weight to make me look bigger than I actually was. I figured it’s time to lose some fat. I hated how people at school constantly commented about my bust and whenever they verbally bullied me.

“Is dad not coming home again for dinner?” I asked, quickly changing the subject.

Mom shook her head, finally dismissing the you-look-perfectly-fine-so-you-should-eat-more-talk. “He said he’ll be home late tonight but he’s gonna be able to make it to the party tomorrow.”

“What party?” I raised an eyebrow, unaware of the upcoming event. 

“Oh sorry haven’t we told you? The annual party our neighbor is holding?”

My eyes widened, trying to recall the date. Right it’s that time of the year. “By neighbor you mean the Ohs?”

She nodded casually “Remember last year they invited us around this time of the year?”

Immediately, I pleaded “Can I just stay home?”

Mom stared at me in confusion, not uttering a single word as if waiting for me to give the reason behind why I refused to attend the event.

I managed to keep my calm as I racked my brain for a plausible excuse. “I have a lot of homework to do.”

She nodded and I almost thought she bought my excuse when she began to speak “It’s not gonna take long chae rim-ah. We’re only gonna stay for a bit then come