Yamapi spent the night at Kei-chan’s. He didn’t feel like going to Johnny’s where he had to put on the cool, laidback attitude that was usually the norm for him. He needed to be alone so he could try to make sense of his mixed emotions. Tentatively, he’d asked if he could spend the night and Kei-chan was just so understanding so he agreed immediately. Yamapi had tried to fall asleep but two things prevented him from doing it.

       1. Kei-chan snored. And not just a small, cute snore, not even close! Kei-chan was a bulldozer with a broken chain that rattled every time he breathed! Yamapi grabbed his pillow and contemplated smothering Kei-chan, but that would be rude after Kei-chan had so generously offered him his hospitality. So instead Yamapi stuffed his head under the pillow. That helped a little bit to muffle the sounds.

        2. His roiling thoughts wouldn’t settle down enough for him to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he pictured Dawn. The time he’d walked  into that darkened dressing room to find her frightened and shivering like a small rabbit, the day she woke up and the pain and fear in her eyes as she realized she couldn’t remember anything about her past or herself, the day he had almost kissed her…

Majide? Is it really possible that I like her? He shook his head under the pillows. But when I think about her, my heart starts beating out of rhythm. When I think about her, I feel protective, and happy. When I talk to her, I don’t want to be anywhere else than by her side. That islove…isn’t it. Or am I overthinking things.

Because Yamapi had never experienced these feelings before, especially love, he wasn’t sure whether he should call it love. He wanted to be absolutely sure or he might make a mistake and end up hurting himself and her. But the more he thought about it, the more he started believing Kei-chan.

I really think I like her. Kei-chan should know about these things. Besides I’ve seen his secret stash of shojo mangas so he has to have someidea. Ne? I’ll go to work early tomorrow and do the interview with Kei-chan, and then go home and ask Dawn to dinner. If I feel anything really unusual like my heart beating too fast or talking about stupid, mushy stuff, or if I somehow figure out that it is love, I will confess and…Will she accept me? What if she doesn’t?What if she drops me like a rock?

Yamapi sat up grabbing his head in his hands and shaking it. He needed to take deep breaths. He followed his advice breathing in and out slowly, but his breaths were shaky and his skin sweaty and clammy. It took him several minutes before he could lie down again.

Wait. Why are you so worked up about her rejecting you? You haven’t even confessed yet! Baka! You haven’t even decidedif you want to confess or not!

In the end, he somehow-don’t ask me how-managed to drift into a troubled sleep.