Hayi is almost certain about rejecting the invite to the show. Because if anything, she knows very well of the people who would be there. Or rather the one particular guy who would be in attendance.

Quite some time had passed since they decided to call things off, to take a break. But it really wasn’t long enough to forget the emotions, disregard the past to an extent where rubbing elbows with the other would be a simple thing--it would be far from it. She had been doing real well about avoiding him too. Her change in scenery from the YG recording rooms to that of HIGHGRND’s played a big role. Naturally the bonds she once had, started to take a backseat. iKON in general had been sent off overseas as per usual in addition to their brief promotional period for their new album, which in turn, meant practically no interactions. It’s these non encounters that would put a strain to their once-loved relationship, but now, it worked in her favour.

However regardless to her single status, Hayi had always had a strong friendship with Bobby.

Maybe it’s his outgoing personality or the stark contrast of the charismatic rapper onstage to the actual shy dork that he is off, that always made Hayi keep him as a close oppa. Yes, it was somewhat of a hurdle to know that his best friend was the sole person who she once called hers, who was once her better half. And she would admit that the breakup did affect her friendship with him, despite how much they both said that it wouldn’t when she had begun to date the leader years ago.

Yet here she was, with months of unspoken words said between them, receiving an invite to Bobby’s much awaited show. His eyes are heavy and the dark shadows beneath them are prevalent to a whole other level, but there’s an obvious glimmer of happiness and excitement that spills from them. She knows very well of how long the boy had been working on the project, counting the years would be too tiring. Hayi is almost shocked to receive the invite, just because her and the rapper’s best friend didn’t part ways in such an easy way. On the other hand, she’s relieved because it meant that after everything, at least Bobby would still be the same with her...he’s still a friend.

“But Hanbin…” It was likely the first time she had spoken of his name, a name that almost sounds foreign to her ear because everyone around her had too stopped mentioning of him. A part of her feels just as equally awkward if not more, to say it out loud.

“Yeah, he’ll be there,” Bobby’s voice is drowning in apologies and such a thing makes Hayi uncomfortable. It’s not supposed to be this way.

The boy in front of her scrambles to find enough of an argument to sway the singer to come because he’d really like it if she could attend. He hasn’t had the opportunity to let her listen to his tracks due to the circumstances and seeing her reaction was always something to look forward to.

“W-Well, h-he’s not…” he stutters.

She laughs it off. It’s almost obvious that it’s not exactly a small deal, but she doesn’t want it to cause such a commotion, even if to her, it really was, “I’ll be there,” she responds softly.

And to which, the rapper is overjoyed. He envelopes the tiny girl  with a tight hug before skipping off reiterating how she has nothing to worry about in regards to him. Bobby will make sure of it.

Hanbin’s sweating bullets.

It’s pretty damn clear of the nerves that dance along his body as he waits for the news from Bobby in regards to her. Similarly to his ex, he remembers the ending to their fruitful years of being together as being complicated. Even if only a handful of months had dwindled away since then, he can’t remember exactly what had happened, or rather, he chooses not to remember. All he knows is that it was she that brought it up and it was he who refused to listen. After it went downhill, he was blessed with having many distractions to keep him occupied from thinking about her, or what they were.

Either way, it was now slightly exhilarating just thinking about her; it always had and it would likely always will be.

When Bobby finally arrives after what seemed to be years of waiting, Hanbin wanders off to him like a magnet. He tries to keep it casual, sauntering off here and there, just waiting for the other rapper to spill the beans.

How did it go? What did she say? Will she be there? But more importantly, how is she?  

Bobby knows what the other is doing, but he decides to pay no attention. He keeps his lips sealed, figuring that keeping information about Hayi to himself would be best...best for the two friends whom he cares so much for.

Hayi knows that she agreed to go, but that doesn’t prevent her from having second thoughts. There’s dozens of possible scenarios that run through her mind. Because yes, she’s the type to worry and worry until it eats her alive. She’s not sure exactly what she’s worried about though. Was she worried that there was still some bad blood boiling between the two or was it concern that seeing such a face would bring up bottled up emotions that she’s too scared to pop open? The answer is unclear and it’s those questions that she’s unable to answer that fear her the most.

She busies herself in every way possible to stir her mind away from the upcoming event. She goes through countless of outfit choices of simple baggy flannel shirts with shorts to crop tops with high waisted bottoms, before she randomly decides upon her final ensemble. She dons her usual solid white oversized t-shirt with tight ripped jeans thrown together with her used up  vans on her small feet. She brushes the loose curls that still hang onto her long locks before tucking them neatly behind her ears. She debates whether or not to touch up on her makeup that’s been on for several hours now, by no professional but herself nonetheless. However, it then dawns on her of the question of who was she trying to impress? Bobby was holding his show in a quaint small club, notorious for it’s barely lit room besides from the tiny sliver of decorative coloured lights spilled sparingly around. Judging from the past events, there’d be a decent crowd, if not packed to a max capacity. An enormous amount of people back to back with likely not much clarity to spot any imperfections of a possible smudge of eyeliner or fading lipstick. She stares at her reflection neither satisfied nor upset about how her makeup is still brushed on and decides to let it be as there’s no reason for the extra effort and time to spruce things up.

The place is booming. One would not expect nothing less since it is, a club. But the atmosphere surprises Hayi nonetheless. She was never the kind to gravitate to such an environment besides concert after parties for the works of the beloved YG sunbaes like BIGBANG. If anything, the loudest place she finds herself in these days were when she’d visit the singing AKMU siblings who’d bicker back and forth. The change isn’t really uncomfortable, but it sure is out of the ordinary.

Hayi’s not quite sure what she was expecting, but meeting up with Bobby is much harder than she had anticipated. The man of the hour is getting dragged everywhere by fans, friends, producers; everyone but her. As much as the girl wants to just greet the rapper and be done with the night after a couple of his songs, she’s not the type to go out and pull him aside. Especially with how they’ve been out of contact with each other for some time up to recently. And Hayi detests awkward situations more than one could describe.

She isolates herself to the best of her ability being cornered into a sea of people, some of whom she recognizes to be YG affiliates and so on. But there’s very little of who Hayi is truly close to in a sense of where she can just chill and engage in some decent conversation as herself, not the kind of small talk about her comeback (one in which she has no answers to).

Then she sees him.

It’s a double edged sword, cursed with an ability that goes beyond the start of them dating, but more so to the days when they even first met. She’ll always be able to spot him in a crowd; the boy with the black jumper, hood over atop a white cap and a mask on. He’ll always have a spotlight shine down on him in her eyes, even in the most dimmed setting.

Kim Hanbin, the only one that Lee Hi can see.

She tenses up at the sight of her ex. Even if he’s covered head to toe, she knows of what is underneath: his long toned arms that once hugged her protectively, of the popped muscle that’s tattooed along the sharp jawline down his neck, of the soft eyes that would look at her lovingly, of the perfectly plump lips that were always available for her to kiss...because he was hers.

When her perception finally slaps back to reality, she sees of Jaewon to his side.

Jaewon is arguably the only other one who could have saved Hayi from the loner state that she finds herself in. Yet unfortunately for her, he was over there with him. Then again, Hanbin was actually the bridge between why she was so close to Jaewon now. Yeah, the guy had starred in her music video before, but it was Hanbin who really pulled them together. There’s flashbacks to those happier times, where the three of them would hang out, where Jaewon would playfully argue about being a third wheel. And yet now, if ever she were to be brave enough to head over there (which she isn’t), Hayi would now be considered the outsider.

Because it was no longer Hayi and Hanbin, but more so, Jaewon and Hanbin. She is the third wheel.

The place is a collection of rappers.

There’s a mix of people from all different companies and those familiar faces she had seen from SMTM, but once again, none that she can talk to. AKMU’s not there because it’s not their scene. Dara nor CL are anywhere to be seen due to prior engagements. Hayi’s so desperate to find a friendly face that she even wishes for Junhoe, but of course he never shows up when she wants him there. Just like Bobby, the dongsaeng was another iKON member who would always remain in her life. Even if she wanted him gone, he likely would never leave her alone anyway. She likes his sporadic change of personalities no matter how much he annoys her.

“Hayi, you never told me you’d be here.”

WINNER’s Lee Seunghoon is arguably her closest oppa. They don’t mention each other often to expose to the world of their friendliness, but that’s more due to the fact that the two of them are rather private people. It’s no secret though of their affiliation since they’ve both known each other since their survival singing days.

Hayi is more than relieved when she spins around to see not only Seunghoon, but also Seungyoon and Mino at toe. Unlike majority of the iKON members who have more or less become strangers to her, Hayi had never felt a change with WINNER.

“Lee Hay