Why must it be so cold? I mean seriously it was hot outside and then suddenly it just gets really cold. And this whole week it was cold but yesterday it was seventy degrees! Can’t Mother Nature make up her mind already? But lately I’ve been so stressed about having to constantly work out the smallest details on the wedding and I haven’t had any time off. But finally I have ONE day all to myself. Hallelujah! Instead of walking to a café, since it’s freezing outside, I took my car and I my seat warmer. I am so thankful for whoever came up with the seat warmer like seriously it’s one of the best inventions known to man. Well, not really.

I get to the café and I walk in and I order some coffee. I don’t like coffee, in fact I hate it, but I’ve been having to drink it in order to stay awake so I guess I’m a coffee person now. A coffee person who hates coffee that is. Before the wedding I used to do this kind of stuff every day, going wherever I want and not having anything to do. But now I finally appreciate all of the times I had off and man, it feels good not having to do anything. As I was enjoying my bitter coffee someone came in and it was Krystal. “Krystal!” I say and she notices me and walks over.

“Hey Charity how have you’ve been?” she asks and sits down in front of me

“Stressed” I say and I sigh

“Really, why?”

“The wedding” I say and she just nods

“Remember when I told you the rumor about Kai getting married and that there was only %99.999 that it was true? Well I guess that %.0001was true after all, ironic.”

“Yeah, and I’m that person” I say

“So I’ve heard” she says and leans back in the chair “at least he’s good looking.”

“I guess. Why are you here anyway? You said you lived far away” I said

“My parents are here for business, so I came here.” She says. She looks at me and asks “Are you okay?”

“Well, I’m actually in love with someone else other than Kai” I say

“Oh, that ”

“Yeah it does” I say. Krystal checks the time and she says “Hey it was nice seeing you but I’m being summoned by my parents” and gets up “See you again maybe?”

I smile and I say “I’ll be here” she walks out and I slump down in my seat. I’m so exhausted and I haven’t even done anything today. I leave a tip and I head out. I just realized that this café was the same café Sehun and I went to when I met him. I go to the art museum where Sehun and I went when we first met and I walked in the doors and the people there obviously recognized me and they had a worried expression on their faces, but I gave them an easy-there hand gesture and they let me go in. I looked around the place and I looked at all of the paintings where me and Sehun looked at. I also saw that picture of a woman again and I chuckled. One of the workers there was following me wherever I went just to make sure I wouldn’t do anything like last time.

Afterwards I head to the park where Sehun took me to the concert and I stand in the middle of the field and I close my eyes, trying to remember the cheers and the music playing. I open my eyes and all I see is a wide open field of memories. I walk along the path where we ran away from the angry security guard and I laid down in the same spot where we looked into the sky.

I got back in my car and I was driving until I saw Alice’s house and I saw her playing in the front yard. I stopped the car in their driveway and Alice had a scared expression on her face, but when I got out she noticed it was me and she ran over and hugged me. “Charity I missed you so much!” she says

“I missed you too” and she let go of me and I bent down and I said “You got your hair cut”

“I know, do you like it?” she asks sweetly

“Of course, it’s beautiful” I say

“Will you play with me? Mommy is at work and the maid is sleeping.”

“So you are outside and unsupervised?”

“Yep!” she says and I sigh. We walk over to where she was playing and she hands me one of her dolls and we play with them for a while. We were playing Cinderella and she was Cinderella and I was the evil step mother, the evil step sisters, and prince charming. We played until after Cinderella tried on the glass slipper and it fit so she went to go marry the prince. “So how are you and you’re boyfriend?” Mia asks and I sigh. “What’s wrong?” she asks

“I’m getting married to someone else” I say and she gasps

“But I love Sehun!”

“Yeah, me too” I say. Suddenly the maid walks out of the house and she notices me and I say “Hi you don’t know me but I’m a friend so don’t worry, I was just leaving”

“Can you promise me something?” Alice asks before I get in the car

“What?” I ask

“Promise me you and Sehun will be together forever” I smile and I say “I promise” and I drive off. That’s a promise I hope to keep. I drive by the house where me and Sehun stole the stolen painting and I see the car where we painted and our signatures are still on there. After driving around and recapping all of the memories Sehun and I shared together, I drive to the place where it all started. The place where our crazy messed up love began. The park. I park in front of the convention center where the banquet was held and I walk to the bench where I first met Sehun. I can just imagine him sitting right in front of me, with his sketchbook and his tiny pencil resting on his ear. His left ear I remember.

There were kids playing on the playground and I saw Mia playing and I remember when we made flower headbands together. She looked healthy which means her lungs are getting better and I see her playing with another little girl. Mia never noticed me, but I enjoyed watching them play together. But then I noticed the little girl Mia was playing with had tubes in her nose which means she has cancer. I guess being different means you have to find people who are also different too.

I sit on the bench for a while, just thinking about what might happen to me in the future. Will me and Sehun still be in touch? Or will our love just die out and our lives will go on?  Sometimes I think if our love was just another sad love story. There are plenty of love stories in the world, and I thought ours was different. That our love story was about a colorless girl who meets a painter and they fall in love, but I guess every modern fairy tale has no happy endings. This was no Cinderella and there were no prince charmings, there was just Sehun. And then there was me, the glass slipper-less Cinderella who never got to be with her prince charming and ended up marrying someone else for money.

But then I think to myself, there has to be a way to make our love story different. To make sure our crazy, messed up love story was something people would come across and think, “Well, I’ve never heard of that before.” Maybe I could run away with Sehun, we could run away and we could start a new life. But all of the dangers and risks are just too much. And in the end, I will be with Kai and we will start a family, and Sehun, well I have no idea what will happen to him. Hopefully he will find someone else that will make him smile and laugh like he did to me. I don’t want him to end up alone, I just can’t bear it. I’d rather see him with someone then all alone and depressed.

I just can’t believe after the wedding, I will never be able to feel Sehun’s touch, his warmth against me, and his lips against mine. I won’t be able to go out with him, and I won’t be able to talk to him at all without being accused of backstabbing my future husband. And when I grow old, and I have grandchildren, I’ll be able to tell my love story, the story about a young girl who fell in love with a handsome boy and they were separated by marriage. But I don’t want that to me my story, my tale, my legacy. I want it to end with a happily ever after and I want Sehun to sweep me off of my feet and we could ride off into the sunset, but in the end, there are no happy endings. And like I said, this is just another modern fairy tale, and there are no happy endings. Not in this world there isn’t.

When I’m with him I feel like time slows down and seconds become minutes and minutes become hours. I feel like I’m the happiest girl in the world when I’m with him. But I won’t feel that anymore. Instead I will only feel lovesick, regret, and pure sadness while I’m sleeping in the same bed with someone I don’t even love. I’ll be in the same house, the same area, the same bed with someone I was forced to marry. And I’ll have to live like that for the rest of my life.

The clouds start to turn gray and people start leaving, but I don’t care. If it starts raining, I want to get sick. If my clothes get drenched, then so be it. If I faint in the middle of the parking lot, I won’t care. I just don’t really know what I want anymore. I just don’t care. I know I’m being a brat about the situation, and I should be happy that my parents are going through all of the struggles just so I have a good future, but will I be happy in the end? The answer is no.

It starts sprinkling, then it starts raining, and then it starts pouring. But I still sit in the bench, drenched in rain and sorrow. I get up and I walk to a tree and I sit underneath it and I hold my legs together and I sit there. And even though it’s raining and I’m completely soaked, I can still feel that single drop of water that came out of my eye.

This whole day I’ve gone back to see all of the things Sehun and I have done, all of the things he’s shown me and how he changed my world. But he was now my universe, and he was my starry sky. I don’t know why I went back to depress myself in memories even though the wedding is in two days, but I guess I just had to. I just had to see all of the things we did that made me smile, laugh, and made me fall in love with him. And I know people say love at first sight is cliché, but I don’t care if it’s cliché, because if it works, it works. I’ve been through a lot of pain, from breaking my bones, to cuts, and scars. I’ve even had my parents shun me. But the worst pain of all is heartbreak. And boy does it hurt.
 

Whoops I updated late but whatevs. Thanks so much for reading!