“How long does it take for someone to finally let her someone special go, who is impossible to return anymore?”

That question traced right inside her mind. True, she was an abandoned victim of God’s work. She was as hard as a rock, who was able to held back her tears for months, forced the smiles pretending like there was nothing wrong with her life, and shook her head when people are looking at her with sadness was clearly seen inside their eyes.

***

“She is one strong girl for sure.”

“She is great.”

“I hope she will tell us how she really feels.”

“I thought she has no heart any longer. She is like a robot. Like a statue. Heartless.”

 “She doesn’t cry?” An eyebrow cocked. “Impossible. She is a human, for God’s sake. If we are not there with her, I bet she will cry like a baby.”

“She’s just pretending, making some sensations. Do you think why she acts like she is traumatized with the sound of siren? She does that to make people care about her.”

“She is a good actress. She should try to act on soap operas or dramas. Her acting skills will help her a lot.”

True, she was a victim of people’s thoughts, who even didn’t know her at all.

But instead biting back, she calmly smiled at those people and walked off, avoiding any useless drama, leaving the comments and compliments taken away by the wind.

***

Him.

Byun Baekhyun.

She fell in love since the first time she saw him smiling. His smile was decent and sincere. He created that adorable eye-smile whenever he smiles.

She fell in love since he was the first hand reached out to her, greeted, and asked her name. He was the first one, who helped her trying to befriend with their classmates, making her to get along with each other.

She fell in love since his voice was beyond amazing. He was on the choir and he was always chosen to be the main vocalist of the team.

She fell in love since his talent to play the piano perfectly fine. He played an instrumental with his eyes gazing at her.

She fell in love since he acted like he was her guardian angel. He took off his hoodie and let her to wear it, to avoid her head get wet because of the pouring rain. And when she tried to refuse, his calm voice, telling he would be okay as long as she was okay, was enough to make her tremble and obeyed.

She fell in love since he was the one to come and asked for a hug. He would pull her into a tight hug, telling that her parents’ fights weren’t because of her fault. He hugged her tightly, with his chin rested on her head and whispered, “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. Stop crying. Please stop crying. Your tears are worth something much better than this.” softly for repeated times until her shoulders weren’t stiff.

And she fell in love the deepest when he confessed to her.

“I love you, it’s the only thing matters. I will fight for you again and again, until you’re feeling sick with me.” along with his mischievous smile.

At least, he was once successfully made her life colorful.

***

Him.

Byun Baekhyun.

She was heartbroken when slowly but sure the smile was going to fade away. His jokes didn’t seem funny anymore. He let out dry laugh and force smiles, but she knew he was only trying to make her feeling okay.

 She was heartbroken when slowly but sure he was letting go of his arms away from her shivering cold body. Whenever she asked him to hug her, he would only pat her back and gave her ineffective encouragement.

She was heartbroken when he stopped singing love songs. He started to sing ballad, broke-ups songs with his piano playing.

She was heartbroken when he looked at her blankly. There was no affection appeared inside his eyes. His eyes didn’t sparkle anymore.

She was heartbroken when he wore his hoodie and ran away inside the pouring rain, ignoring her, without telling anything.

She was heartbroken when she couldn’t get any soft whispers that could make her feeling safe and okay.

She was heartbroken to pieces when finally he called everything off.

“You’re an amazing girl. You deserve someone better than me. I’m going, okay? I’ll see you again.”

Her life turned into blue. She even had no idea, whether she had love remained or not.

***

“Yah, Jung Eunji! Where are you?!” Chanyeol called her out of blue in the midnight.

“At home. Sleeping.” Eunji yawned. She was in the middle of dreaming when Chanyeol suddenly called her out of sudden.

“I’m so sorry, Eunji. I’m so sorry.” His voice was a wreck.

Eunji furrowed her eyebrows. “Yah, is this really Park Chanyeol? Or are you talking in your sleep?”

“Eunji..” He breathed. “He’s gone.”

“What gone?”

“Baekhyun.”

Eunji still didn’t understand. “What’s with him?”

“It was a hit and run.. And I was.. He was..” Chanyeol gulped hard. “Baekhyun is gone, Eunji. He passed away ten minutes ago.”

Eunji jumped out in surprise with her eyes widened.

***

The roses were still fresh when she held them tightly on her palms. She almost sprained her ankle, maybe because she couldn’t believe that she was finally here, at the place she has been avoided this long.

She squatted down, and sighed heavily. She opened her bag and took her drink bottle. She poured the water efficiently on that ground and touched the name that carved on it, with a sad smile. It was amazing how she could hold back her tears, even her eyes were b with them already.

“Ugh. This place is so hot. Is your skin getting darker? I’m very curious, remembering you have that perfect white skin I drooled for.” She laughed dryly at her joke, started her story. “How long I’ve been running away from reality? Three months?” She smiled. “I’m sorry if I’m late to come here. I was busy like crazy, you know, preparing the entrance test. Do you remember, Baek, our future college? The college that we talked about all the time? I studied hard to be accepted there. And ta-da! I got it!” She took out an envelope with a stamp posted on it. “I made it! I got accepted! Me, Jung Eunji, law student of SNU. You must envy me right now. I’m going to one of the most prestigious university in South Korea. Ha! In your face, Byun!”

She pouted. “How dare you, Baek. You came to my dream, asking me to go out with you. When I woke up, I realized you can’t be reached anymore. You asked me to go out with you, but you didn’t tell me how. You’re mean.”

She gulped and whispered, “Don’t cry, don’t cry.” to herself.

“We haven’t watched the Mockingjay, remember? You promised me we will watch how it will end finally. I didn’t read the novels because of you, Baekhyun!” She sighed. “I haven’t made you another hot chocolate. You haven’t showed me your try out results. You haven’t taught me how to play the piano. You left me on G tune, Baek. You’re mean.”

She frowned as she continued, “What did I tell you? We’re late. We’re late at again.”

After spending twenty minutes with silence, she put the roses on the fresh grass, near the tomb. She caressed that name for the last time, and stood up. The sun shone so brightly, but she didn’t feel the heat.

“I will go to Seoul the day after tomorrow. I will reach your dream. I will make your dreams come true.” She promised.

After promising, she felt the wind breezed softly.

A smile was created on her eyes, along with the tears rolled slowly into her cheeks.

The wind was like wanted to tell her that he could hear everything she has just said. Because hug and words couldn’t be affordable to give anymore, he sent the breeze, to tell her that he was there, together with her.

“I will see you again, promise.”  She whispered in hushed tone and walked away.

a/n

the late Baekhyun and Eunji.

Happy reading!