T.O.P's P.O.V

It was Sunday and I couldn’t help but think about her all day. I just wanted to finish my hosting section on Inkigayo to meet her. I want to see her, I need to see her, I think that I have grown to depend on her within this week, and is not even funny.

After ending the last section scheduled for me I greeted Baekhyun and Yubi before waving to Kwanghee at the other stage.

I walked to backstage and the hallways felt all too familiar as I remember all the times I had walked through this particular corridor. I didn’t want to go knocking in T-ARA’s dressing room without warning, but since Eunjung has been ignoring me I was left without options.

Is not a big deal, after all, we are just friends? She has visited my dressing room more than once before, so I really don't see a problem in paying her a friendly visit.

It felt so long since we last met that I was actually looking forward to this day just to see her again. I don’t know why she is giving me the silent treatment, and I got to admit I am really annoyed by her attitude, so this will be some sort of payback.

She keeps up ignoring my texts. If she wants to play this way why can’t I play too?

I nodded to myself and exhaled out a short breath before raising my fist up to knock on the door.

For a moment I doubted and I suddenly stop.

Okay, let’s weigh the possibilities. The possibility that Eunjung will be happy with my unexpected visit is almost non-existent considering how much she had reminded me that she didn’t want to be caught by any of her members of her manager. The possibility that she will be mad at me is more realistic putting into consideration how she has clearly ignored my tries to talk to her these past days.

I seriously don’t know what’s wrong with her attitude, but the urge to see her is driving me crazy. It feels so weird, and I actually feel freaky. What the hell is wrong with me? I truthfully can’t get her out of my head.

I know that she will be mad, but what I am supposed to do when she is ignoring me? What am I supposed to do when the need to talk to her is stronger than my will? What am I supposed to do for real? I’m so puzzled, troubled my thoughts.

I know this is wrong, but she has pushed my limits. I have the right to make her feel angry without feeling guilty because her silent treatment has affected me more than I wanted to.

I nodded to myself once again and clear my thoughts away from my internal battle before raising up my fist against the door.

I shut my eyes and opened them again before knocking one time. It was quite weak, so after receiving no response I knocked again but, this time, harder.

I heard an indistinct chatter from the other side of the door, but I could make out that two girls were arguing about who should go answer the door. The two voices fell quiet for a moment, and I was prepared to knock again when I saw the knob rattle.

I gulped. The door opened and the first thing I met were a pair of light-brown eyes.

I wasn’t too familiar with the names of the members, but I was sure that the person in front of me was Jiyeon.

Jiyeon stared up at me and upon realizing how I was her eyes widened and she bowed at me in surprise. I bowed back and smile at her before she slid the door wide open for me.

I knew I was death, but it was too late to step back now.

Jiyeon smiled back at me and opened to speak, but she seemed speechless for a moment before another voice grabs our attention.

“Jiyeon, who’s that?” Another girl with milky white skin appears in front of us. She was shorter than Jiyeon and her eyes were round. “O-Oh, T.O.P.” She bowed to me and so did the other three that suddenly walked in after the mention of my name.

“Yes,” I said clearing my throat. I bowed my head at them and smiled awkwardly.

I felt so out of place and I didn’t know what to do for a moment when I realized Eunjung wasn’t there.

I traveled my gaze through the room and step in without waiting for Jiyeon to let me pass. I knew it was kind of rude to enter just like that into a girls’ dressing room, but I didn’t want to complicate things for Eunjung if I stay for too long. I wanted to see her and talk outside, but she wasn’t there.

I started to feel self-conscious of the girls’ gazes on me, so I stepped back and bowed in apology to them.

Jiyeon shook her head at my action. “Don’t worry,” she said, “you can pass.”

She invited me this time, so I awkwardly stepped inside and Jiyeon closed the door after me.

I didn't move and I didn’t intend to, but I wanted to go, this was a bad idea.

“Okay, so I don’t know if you are familiar with us but nice to meet you, sunbae. I am Jiyeon and I am the youngest of the group.” Said Jiyeon extending a hand towards me.

“Huh? Yes.” I reacted and shook her hand lightly before turning to the other four girls whose faces I could tell apart, but names I didn’t know. 

Jiyeon walked to one of the girls, “this is our current leader, Qri.”

Current leader? What, isn’t she a permanent leader?

The curiosity got the best of me, so I ask just to make the atmosphere a little less awkward. “Why current leader?”

Jiyeon parted her lips to respond, but Qri beat her at it. “Our group has a rotation system, we all has once been the leader before. It is a way to delegate responsibilities, so in this comeback, I was given this position.”

“Oh, that’s interesting,” I commented.

She smiled, and Jiyeon moves on to the next girl. “This is the eldest member, and the shortest too,” she said in a teasing manner, and it was evident in her playful expression, “her name is Boram.”

“Hey!” Boram slightly hit Jiyeon’s arm before bowing at me.

She was the one that greeted me first. 

After her, the other two introduced themselves. The blonde tall one was Hyomin and black haired, cute looking one was Soyeon.

I think I got this. Jiyeon is the youngest, Qri is the leader, Boram is the eldest and one of the vocals while Hyomin is one of the rappers and Soyeon is another vocal.

The introductions were a bit awkward, although the girls seem comfortable to be around. But I am still looking for Eunjung.

I wanted to ask, but I didn’t want to look so obvious, yet Jiyeon seemed to have caught my earlier actions.

“I know you are looking for her,” Jiyeon smirked at me.

This youngster is sneaky for sure. I felt that she was teasing me somehow, and I was a bit surprised by her boldness. Just how young this girl is?

“Huh? I?” I wasn’t going to admit it so easily. “I was just…”

“Oh, come on…” Jiyeon insisted.

“Hey! Yeon, don’t be rude. You are making him uncomfortable.” Qri stepped in, and I was glad she did, I didn’t want this teasing to drag on and on.

“Don’t worry is okay.” I chuckled.

Jiyeon’s smirk widened. I don’t know what she might be thinking, but now I know this a bit of how Eunjung must have felt when the five of them were teasing her for the dating rumors. I feel kind of in front of them, is like they could see through me, is like they could see through my actions. They all knew too well what was I doing there, and I wasn’t even good at hiding it, so why keep up pretending?

“…okay,” I cleared my throat, “the truth is I wanted to see Eunjung, but she is not here.” I chuckled, and the girls were all smiling for some reason. “Anyways, it was a pleasure to meet you all.”

I bowed my head and was about to stepped to the door when Jiyeon stopped me.

“You can wai