“And class is dismissed. Have a happy holiday and I’ll see you next year,” our history teacher says through her cheery attitude, smiling towards the class. To many other people she might have appeared happy, but I knew she really wanted to get us out of here so she could leave earlier. In about two minutes she’ll probably be speeding out of the school property in her shiny red car, waving as if we were now irrelevant to her. It’s not like we mind though; the earlier the vacation starts the better.

I let out a faint smile as I get up from my seat and pack my bags quickly, and head out towards the hallway to greet no other than the pink monster. Also known as Tiffany, who stands by the door in her pink coat and matching school bag, smiling at me when our eyes meet, and I pick up my pace a little before catching up to her and we start walking out the door.

“Are you happy?” I ask as we walk out in the December weather, filled with white snow and harsh winds, wondering how she feels about us finally having a holiday with no school. I turn to look over at Tiffany, who has her hands tucked in the pockets of her jacket and her scarf tucked neatly against her face. She nods and smiles brightly, at least from what I can see behind her white scarf.  “You want to come over? My parents are going to be late,” she asks as we reach the end of the campus and stand underneath the gates of the school. Her eyes look over at me, eagerly awaiting a reply and I was just about to answer yes, until I remembered…

“Sorry,” I reply after a while and I see Tiffany’s excited face deflate a little. Carefully I step closer and pat her shoulder soothingly, before placing my already freezing hand in my pocket. “I got to run some errands,” I explain and Tiffany still looks at me with that same look, albeit pouting a little. “Can’t you skip it?” she asks with widened eyes, just like a puppy, and tries to coax me.  Simply shaking my head, I chuckle before replying. “I would, but I kind of have to get this done now.”

Tiffany just looks at me suspiciously, and I raise my eyebrows as a reply, wondering what that was about. “What are you planning to do Jessie?” she asks after a while of silence, her eyes studying my facial expressions and again I try not to laugh. “I’m just going to go shopping for some everyday stuff, and Mrs. Park wanted me to help her a little at the shelter,” I partly lie, the latter one being only half of the truth, but still I keep my face cool and casual, as Tiffany simply nods in understanding.

“Can’t I come with you?” she asks, but I simply shake my head, stating that she should probably go home and rest. I know how tired Tiffany gets after school, trying to concentrate at all the subjects and trying to ignore her symptoms. If all our school work can drain me then I don’t want to know what it does to Tiffany.

It goes like this for a while, Tiffany insisting until she finally surrenders and agrees with me. After all I can see that she is a little sleepy already, her eyes drooping a little bit as we stand there in the cold air.  “I’ll try to visit you tomorrow, and we’ll be celebrating Christmas together anyway. So relax, you’ll see a lot of me,” I reassure her and slowly give her a small peck, smiling a little before pulling away. Tiffany blinks a little, before letting out a small chuckle herself. “I know, I just like being with you, that’s all…” she trails off, but I sense there is something more behind those words; the lingering feeling of doubt and uncertainty evident, yet hidden under her tone, but I still notice it. Just from looking at her I know she’s thinking about something we shouldn’t be thinking about; time.

I turn my head a little so she’s looking at me instead of the empty space in front of her, hoping she would stop having that hollow stare. No matter what I wanted to brighten up the mood between us, ease the tension that we have been focusing on too long because I don’t want us to feel so down anymore.

It’s funny, usually Tiffany would be the one smiling and trying to make the best out of everything, but today I’m that person and it’s kind of foreign, a little out of place feeling, but I manage. With a smile I reassure her again that I’ll visit her tomorrow, and after a bunch of kisses later we finally parted ways; Tiffany boarding the bus home while I wait for the one going to the shelter.

When I finally get there after a while, the snow starts falling down again as I walk the short distance from the bus stop and towards the shelter. The bell chimes above me as I open the door, and already I hear some of the dogs and puppies barking loudly, almost sounding happy over my arrival, though there wasn’t much to be happy about.

Before I can even close the door a small figure appears from the office with a smile. “Hello Jessica, you’re here to pick up the papers,” Mrs. Park assumes as I step in to the small shelter, not really asking. I nod to answer her question, the smell of dog food and their fur lingering around the air. By time and volunteering I’ve gotten used to it, but at times the scent just seemed more apparent than other days. I suppose today was one of those days. Carefully I pet one of the short-haired puppies in the bin as I wait, my previous fear of animals diminished over the course of my time spent here with Tiffany.

For the most part I was the one coming here lately, but it’s not really a surprise. Tiffany nearly begs for us to go there, but before we even can something happens. There main reasons are usually that she is forced by her parents to do a checkup at the hospital, schoolwork or we end up not going because it’s either too late or she is too tired.  I don’t mind though, really. Sometimes coming here actually takes my mind off things and I start to focus on something different than all the mess that’s been going on. It’s a way to relax, a sort of therapy in a weird way that seems to calm me down when I am way too stressed. Even if it involves having dogs and puppies everywhere I look.

“So are you going to pick him up right now?” Mrs. Park interrupts my thoughts as she enters the room again with a transparent case in her hands. Looking over at the white and fluffy dog in one of the cages, big eyes looking up at me, almost as if they were pleading, I forcefully shake my head.  “No, I’ll just be needing the papers, thank you,” I reply whilst tearing my gaze away from Prince, the white dog Tiffany has been loving ever since we started here. My eyes look over to the surprised expression of Mrs. Park, and confused I look over at her as I wait for a response.

“Mrs. Park?” I ask as I wave my hand in front of her face until her perplexed expression vanishes and she snaps out of it. “Wow Jessica, I haven’t heard your voice before now. I thought you were mute!” she exclaims and I can’t really blame her. The times I was here she was either out doing other errands, or we’d both be too busy to really talk anyway. Even when I thought of this surprise I sent her a text message instead of calling, but at that time I just had a sore throat and could actually literally not talk. I have gotten over my fear to speak for the most part, but I am still most comfortable speaking with Tiffany. I smile slightly by Mrs. Park’s remark.

“It’s alright, I just don’t talk a lot,” I reply timidly, but the elder lady still smiles as if she just heard that she won the lottery. A moment passes before she starts speaking again. “Well I’m glad to hear your voice,” she says before handing me the clear case again and looking up at me. “So all the papers are here; the only thing left is for you to pick him up,” she continues as she starts to feed some of the dogs. “When will you come and get him?”

A small dog starts barking as Mrs. Park leans closer to pet his head, and with his tongue sticking out he tries to nudge closer towards her small hand. The scene distracts me a little as I stand there. “I’ll be away for Christmas, and I can’t surprise Tiffany by having the dog bark in the back seat or something. Besides, I want her to tag along.”

Mrs. Park looks up at me for a brief moment, a certain smile lingering on her lips as her eyes are on me before faintly giggling. “Ah, these two are so adorable,” she mutters more to herself than to me, but I still hear it. With a slight smile, I look out of the window to see that it’s starting to get darker outside already. Sighing I turn back to face Mrs. Park, who is already standing there looking at me.

“Well I have to get going now. I think we’ll arrive sometime after Christmas, but before New Year’s if that is okay with you?” I ask after the surprise of seeing her so close. Mrs. Park only laughs before patting my shoulder and walking towards the other side of the room to do something else. “It’s alright kiddo, you know the opening times and you have a key anyway. You don’t need to have me here to get him you know?” she asks while watering some plants on the table by the window. Silently I nod, even if she can’t see me, and quickly stop by the realization.

Having no more time to waste I head towards the door, but before I leave I turn around. “Have a Merry Christmas Mrs. Park!” I say and she turns around with a smile, waving slightly before replying the same back.  “Merry Christmas to you too child, say hello to Tiffany from me!” she says and I nod, promising that before finally exiting and heading down the street, towards a mall not too far away from here.

The wind is harsh as I walk, snow falling down from the sky on my way. With my hands in my pockets I nearly jog towards the big building located a couple of minutes away from the shelter, seeing the lights and the advertisements of various shops and products covering the whole area. With a sigh of relief from the cold I enter through the doors and walk slowly down the mall, wondering where to go first.

I rarely go shopping, even if I actually like looking at clothes. For the most part it’s just window shopping, and I only buy something when I need it, but today it’s going to be a little bit different as I keep on maneuvering my way down the semi-crowded shopping center. Although I decided to adopt the little dog Prince for her, I still felt like I had to give her something on the said occasion, seeing that I can’t bring him with me to her grandparent’s house. It had taken a long while to convince her parents, saying that they weren’t really sure, but after a while they gave in. Besides I’d be around and the times I couldn’t, Tiffany would have Prince to keep her company. It’s better than nothing at least.

I head into many different clothing stores, makeup stores and even a jewelry store, but still I find nothing. Either there was nothing that really reminded me of Tiffany, or it was too expensive. Slowly becoming anxious, nearly desperate to find a suitable and perfect gift I start searching through stores I don’t even think I’ll find anything, but I still hope that something will come along that would be worth it.

I was about to give up when something caught my eye further ahead from me; a small shop located in the far end, filled with various items and trinkets. Not really having anything better to do I decided to go in there to look, and maybe, just maybe find something interesting.

A small bell upon the tiny door chimes as I enter the seemingly secluded shop, looking around the partly dimly lit room. The whole store was very vintage looking, almost as if it was taken straight out from the 50’s, an old radio playing music by the wooden counter. It doesn’t surprise me that the songs are seemingly fitting towards the whole mood the store emits. For a reason it appeared more cozy, nice than scary despite the almost yellow light of the room.

Taking another step, I suddenly see a familiar figure placing some products on a shelf, face focused on placing the various items in the right place. Curiously I stand there, wondering if I should acknowledge her or just pretend like nothing; I can either come off as rude or awkward. None of them are really a tempting choice at the moment. Thinking for a split second, I simply opt for at least being polite as I stand a couple of meters away from the person.

“Hey Amber,” I awkwardly say as she stops with what she is doing and turns to look at me, before smiling faintly towards me. She turns away to place one more thing on the shelf before climbing down the latter, dusting off her hands as she stands on her two feet again. “What’s up?” she asks in reply, moving some parts of her bangs away from her face. I shrug before looking down at a table filled with various items. “Not much really, just looking for Christmas presents,” I pick up a small figurine and study it before placing it back down. From the corner of my eye I see Amber nodding.

“Well, I don’t know how much the one you’re shopping for will find of interest here,” Amber says with a shrug. I look over at her, wondering what to say. “I have no idea what to give her, I just ended up here,” I truthfully say and she nods before looking around. “Tiffany?” she guesses as she starts roaming around the store with her eyes, seemingly thinking about something as I simply nod. It doesn’t surprise me that she knows, after all Tiffany is literally the only person I am really close to.

“Anything in mind?” she asks again, actually helping me as she walks around the small room of the store. Amber seems pretty focused on finding something as I simply follow her like a lost puppy around the tiny store, curiously looking around the shelves filled with a lot of interesting things, but still nothing that catches my eye.

“Not really,” I say honestly, as my eyes scan the entire area. She only nods in response, a small hum emitting from her lips before it turns into a comfortable silence between us. Both lost in our own thoughts, after a while I am about to simply bid goodbye until Amber suddenly exclaims something.

“I think I’ve got an idea,” she says before suddenly heading through a wooden door near the cashier, disappearing from my sight momentarily. I stand there confused for a while, dragging my feet towards the counter until she suddenly appears with a huge cardboard box labeled with red letters on it.

P.C

“These just came in recently actually, we’re aren’t supposed to sell them until after New Year’s, but I suppose my uncle won’t mind,” she says before opening up the box, a lot of smaller, white boxes inside of it. Curiously I look down at the various cases before Amber takes one and holds it in front of me.

“It’s a vintage Polaroid Camera; you know the ones where the pictures instantly are printed?” Amber says before flipping the case over to show a picture of the product. “I don’t really know what she actually likes, but they are getting pretty popular again,” she adds before handing the box to me. I take it with both hands, studying it before thinking to myself, a sudden memory popping into my head.

“Lean a little closer,” Tiffany says while literally pushing my face closer to hers, forcing me to look into the camera of her phone. With a neutral expression I look up at the lens, not really in the mood for taking any pictures. Tiffany on the other hand, was having a “strong selfie game” as she so proclaimed. I didn’t even understand a word of that but didn’t bother, until she forced me to join her as well.

“Don’t look so sad Jess! We’re taking a picture, we’re not having an exam or something,” Tiffany nags towards me, nudging my shoulder with hers as we sit inside her living room. The television is playing some long forgotten drama that neither are really paying attention to, as we sit on the white sofa of hers on a Tuesday afternoon.  I simply sigh as I playfully nudge her shoulder back. “But I hate taking pictures,” I whine a little, looking away as I lean my head down and away from the camera lens. Tiffany doesn’t care though, and just seems to pester me as we sit there.

Without warning or a word she starts hugging me from behind, arms wrapped around my neck tightly to not let me go. Surprised I let out a confused type of gasp, my mouth wide open to protest. Before I can even say anything though, she places her phone in the air and snaps a picture, the shutter of the sound echoing through the room as I still sit there with my mouth open and Tiffany laughing like a maniac.

“Oh my God you look hilarious,” she manages to say between her fits of giggles, hands clutched to her stomach as she now lies on the couch. Probably sulking, I look over to her and lightly hit her on top of her head. Tiffany doesn’t seem to care though, still laughing.

“You know what I should’ve had now?” she asks me after calming down a little, her breath stabilizing itself as she still lies there. I look over at her, my head cocked to the side, wordlessly asking her. She smiles brightly before answering. “A pink Polaroid camera, so I can hang up those pictures somewhere.”

I snap out of my thoughts when I feel a hand waving in front of my face, and soon enough Amber looks at me curiously and a little bit confused. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I look down at the case again, still pondering.

“How much is it?” I ask, still reading on the box. There is some shuffling heard from the box again, and some fluttering of papers until the noises stop for a while. “About 30 dollars,” Amber answers me, and I look surprised over at her as it is way cheaper than what I thought it was going to be. Not that I had expected it to be too much, but still…

“Do you have it in pink?”

**

Walking out of the store with a Christmas present in my bag, I feel somewhat accomplished over the day that I finally managed to find a gift that I really hope Tiffany is going to like. Smiling to myself, I head out the main entrance and into the piercing cold weather, but I don’t mind as I simply tug my jacket closer.

The way to the bus stop takes a while, but it’s not exactly long, only about ten minutes by walking. I really don’ mind it, but with the harsh wind outside and the snow still falling down like pouring rain, I don’t really find it that fun anymore and just want to get away as soon as possible.

Five minutes in the snow seems to calm down a bit, but the cold doesn’t. Trying to collect some more warmth I keep on protecting the shopping back from the harsh weather, at the same time I try to hug every part of clothing to my skin so I won’t freeze to death.

Out of nowhere I saw two figures in the distance, a boy and a girl, arguing about something. The boy, dressed in a gray coat, keeps on shouting towards the poor girl who’s only wearing a thin leather jacket and a very, very short dress. Not understanding how she could survive being dressed like that in a weather like this, I feel a shiver down my spine just thinking about walking around dressed like that right now.

I almost feel sorry for the girl, until I step closer and realize that the girl isn’t so unfamiliar after all. An annoyed feeling surges through my veins and instantly removes whatever concern I had for her when I notice that it’s nobody else than Hyuna.

“Can you stop following me?” the boy seems mad as he stands there, nothing cheerful in his neither expression nor eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you to stay away you clingy ?” he continues on insulting Hyuna, who simply stands there with wide eyes. “But…” Hyuna starts with an oddly soft voice, to the point that it barely even sounds like her. Unknowingly I find my steps halting, and start hiding behind a brick fenced wall, close enough to hear them, but not close enough to be noticed.

Eavesdropping is bad, I know, but curiosity took over me by that point. Leaning my ear closer towards them, my eyes looking over at them from time to time, I start to hear the conversation better. “Don’t even start with that dumb expression,” he mutters towards her, and I see him placing a hand in his hair, ruffling it up slightly as if he is pretty frustrated, which I assume he is.

“Why are you acting like this?” Hyuna asks back after a while, her voice a bit stronger but still not like how it usually is when I see her at school. She almost sounds… vulnerable.

“Acting like what?” the boy asks back. “Going out partying? Sleeping around? That’s what I usually do, if you noticed or not. What are you, my girlfriend or something?” he asks pretty coldly, almost mockingly as he snickers to himself. Hyuna doesn’t seem to find it funny though, her body shivering in the cold as her bare legs are exposed towards the cold air.

“I thought…” she starts with a quivering lip, her voice now unsteady as she looks up at him. I can’t see much from where I am, but from what I do notice is that her eyes seem very glossy and confused. She’s probably hurt. The boy suddenly starts laughing, but not in the happy and cheerful way Tiffany laughs. No, it’s a humorless, cold, teasing and everything unpleasant type of laughter emitting from him as they stand there underneath the street lights.

“You… My girlfriend?” he says as if she was joking, but from what I see it doesn’t appear like Hyuna is. “Just because I’ve screwed you a couple of times you think we’re dating?” he expresses the word dating a little louder, almost as if it was a pun of a joke.  Hyuna’s lips starts trembling again, along with her whole body. Although it’s only slightly I still notice it, and for some reason I feel a sad, almost dull type of pain entering my chest. From watching the scene I start feeling bad every time I see Hyuna’s expression and hear the boy’s piercing words.

“Gosh, look at yourself. You’re such a ; you out of all people shouldn’t assume things like that,” he sneers as if his voice was laced in poison, effectively shutting Hyuna up as they stand there. “It’s not like I’m the only one, don’t fool yourself,” he adds later on.

“But Kai, you really are,” she says softly, looking pretty pitiful at that moment. The boy seemingly named Kai only laughs again, causing me to feel almost enraged at him by now. How can someone be so cruel and careless? “Oh, I am?” he asks almost as if he’s amused, before suddenly leaning closer to Hyuna with a cold stare. “I really, really doubt that, judging by the fact that you definitely were not a when I hooked up with you. Actually, you felt pretty wide. So tell me… how much do you get paid? Ten dollars?” he mocks again. “Or you just take it for free, just like the loose girl you are?”

Then I see him step back, giving her a smirk, a freaking smirk before simply turning his back and walking the other way. “Don’t ever contact me again, I’m done with you,” is the last thing he says towards her that night.

Hyuna keeps on calling his name, but he doesn’t even spare her a glance until he finally disappears somewhere, and I successfully manage to turn my back and pretend like nothing as he passes me by. And when I finally turn around, I see Hyuna still standing there with tears streaming down her face, mascara stains all over as she starts letting out muffled sobs while covering her lips.

Normally I never thought there would be a day when I would see Hyuna cry, get rejected or hurt so brutally. More or less I never expected her to actually look so fragile and vulnerable, and I never thought I’d actually feel bad for her.

A few minutes pass and I still stand there, simply hearing her sobs die down by now. I don’t dare look at her crying, not wanting to witness the scene either way. Even after how much she put me through and how she behaved, I didn’t have the will to do anything bad against her. And I actually felt sorry for her, and for once I wanted to hurt that idiot for hurting her just like that.

Carefully and silently I step out of my hiding place and with determined steps I walk towards Hyuna’s slouched over body sitting on the ice and snow covered concrete. In her light clothing it must be freezing, almost unbearable in fact. With the dried stains of tears left, I feel a small pang through my chest by the sight.

No one deserves this, not even someone like Hyuna.

Hyuna looks pretty shocked when she finally looks up and notices me standing above her, hands in my pocket while looking at her. Her eyes are smeared in black eyeliner and mascara, almost like a raccoon, and hadn’t the situation been like this I would have made a snide remark, but I keep my lips shut. “Did you see that?” she asks with a hoarse and shaky voice, and silently I nod before sitting down next to her. The ground is wet and ice cold, but I ignore it, rather focusing on the broken girl beside me.

Wiping away the tears with the sleeves of her poor excuse of a jacket, I dig in my pockets and hand her some tissues I always carry around. She takes them without a word, and soon enough she looks somewhat normal again, albeit having bloodshot eyes, puffy and still glossy without the usual eyeliner and makeup she wears.

“He was a jerk, to put it mildly,” I express to fill in the silence. Looking over to Hyuna who’s simply looking down, I try to think of what I can say to ease her pain. It’s only then I realize that I don’t know how. “He’s always been, actually, I just thought he would change,” she says after a while, playing with some snow that keeps melting on top of her bare hands. The look in her eyes is pretty much lost, almost lifeless and for once I see a side to her I have never seen before.

Hyuna behind the popular status; the Queen Bee, is actually way different. She seems softer in a way, not as mean as she usually is. It’s like seeing a whole different person in a different light, if I may say so myself.

“I wasn’t lying when I said he was my first,” Hyuna says with her hands still in the snow, now drawing shapes on them. “Honestly it just didn’t hurt that much as I thought it would. But it doesn’t matter I suppose… Guess I am a worthless ,” she says and it almost sounds as if she’s talking to herself and reliving those thoughts again, as I often do when I hear stuff like that from her.

A little angry I look at her, making her face me so our eyes meet. She seemed surprised by the sudden action. “Listen Hyuna, we’ve never gotten along to put it mildly, but don’t call yourself that just because that stupid idiot said that to you. You may be many things, I’m not going to lie, but you are not a worthless .”

I don’t know where the words come from as we sit there, but I don’t think too much about it before continuing to speak, my mouth having a mind on its own.  “And after all, maybe it didn’t hurt because he has a small ?” I joke in a manner I have never before; I have never been on the erted side of humor, and besides I don’t even know that much about to really say anything, but that’s the first insult that popped into my head. Successfully it makes Hyuna smile a little, until she’s faintly laughing and I silently join her. We sit like that for a while, and Hyuna’s eyes seem lighter, better in a way.

We get up from our spot on the curb, dusting off snow from our clothes before looking at each other. Noticing her nearly blue lips, I feel sorry for her yet again, wondering how cold she must be now. Silently I take off my big coat and hand it to her, who looks at me perplexed and confused. “Take it, you need it more than me,” I say as the cold already seeps through my thick sweater. It takes a while of insisting, but in the end she slips it on her and wraps it around her thin body, already appearing better by the sudden warmth. She smiles faintly before it disappears again, but I don’t mind.

I offer to walk her home, and I learn that it’s actually pretty far from where we stand, and the last bus there already left. “It’s okay, I can crash at a random club or something,” she says, but shaking my head, I say something I never thought I would. “Then you can sleep at my place, it’s not too far away from here,” I say more because for some reason I feel obliged to make sure she is alright, especially after what happened. Again she hesitates, but after a while she gives in and with the last bus to my place we head towards the apartment complex I live in.

When we departure the bus near my place it’s as silent as the bus ride. A long moment passed before Hyuna started to speak during our otherwise silent walk from the bus stop, her voice quiet yet still audible. “I know I don’t deserve this after all I did to you, but really, thank you Jessica,” she says sincerely and looks at me with a genuine smile, wider than the rest, and for a moment I almost forgot the reality of our situation that we never got along or even talked to each other.

It’s a bizarre event indeed, but for tonight I push it away as we finally reach the familiar apartment complex and we get inside and away from the harsh weather, along with the many other things.

**

The next morning I’m not surprised to see my jacket neatly hanging in the hallway, along with no Hyuna to be seen in between the blankets and pillows on my sofa. After all I knew that this was a onetime thing just to help her out, to give her a helping hand.

As I tuck away the blanket and tidy up I notice a note on the makeshift coffee table of mine, and as I pick it up I read it for myself with a slight smile. It’s short, but again that’s all I really expect from her. Things will always go back to their natural cycle anyway, although some things do change.

“Thank you. – H”