It’s a cold November morning when I leave my house, bitter wind seeping through my coat as I walk. There’s a bit of frost on the ground and on the grass, but it hasn’t snowed or anything yet. Honestly I’ve never liked winter; it’s too cold and it’s too much snow. It’s pretty ironic, considering my “ice” like personality, as most say I have, but it doesn’t mean I appreciate the cold that comes with it.

A couple of minutes with walking in silence pass by with little to no excitement until I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I don’t need to check the ID to know who it is, and I pick it up as fast as I can, already feeling the cold air on my hand. “Hey, what’s up?” I ask as I try to bury my bare hand into my scarf, hoping it would warm up my skin a little.

“You’ll meet me by the entrance, right?” Tiffany says over the line, and even if I can’t see her I just know she’s smiling. I let out a confused expression as I kick a pebble on the ground, before returning my focus back to the conversation. “Are you still coming to school, even when…?” I begin but I stop there, not really knowing what to say after that. The subject is still quite touchy, fragile and most of all tough to discuss, and maybe too early to say. I hear Tiffany do something on the other line, but what I don’t know. Whatever it is, she takes her time by doing so and doesn’t answer. Slowly I feel the guilt inside because I probably pushed the wrong buttons now, both for Tiffany and for me, as it instantly turned the mood a little tense.

“Point number 2,” Tiffany oddly enough says, before she sighs and more movement is heard. “Graduate high school,” she finishes slowly and again I turn lost as my eyebrows furrow together, my mind trying to process what she just said. I stay like that until I suddenly remember the day I visited her for the first time, the words ringing inside of my ears.

“It’s a part of the top ten things I want to do in my life.”

That list of things she’s going to do before she leaves.

It’s somewhat easier to say that she’s going to leave, actually, rather than that she’s going to die. It doesn’t make the fear or feeling of loss go away, but it barely lessens the pain and dulls it just a bit. It’s weird to think of that when she first told me about that list I believed she’d have forever to complete it. It’s only now I realize that forever probably is out of reach for her, and that nothing is really forever, and again a small throb of pain enters my chest by the thought, but I calmly suppress it.

“Well I’m soon there, where are you?” I ask to change the subject, already spotting the football field and parts of the school building. There are a few people around me, but not as much as it used to be. I suppose more and more students are taking the bus, or probably carpooling with their parents. “I just got off the bus, so I’ll be there soon.” Tiffany says through a lot of noise in the background and I can barely hear what she’s saying, but from the tone I suppose her mood has gotten better. I faintly smile before finally reaching the gates, and patiently wait for her to come along.

It really isn’t hard noticing Tiffany as she gets closer, amidst all the neutral colored coats in black, gray or blue she walks in a pale pink jacket, her light brown hair gently moving along with each step. She stops on her tracks right in front of me, hands in her pocket with a smile. It’s not as wide or blinding as usual, but it still gives me a bubbly feeling inside and I smile faintly in return, despite her tired expression. “You ready for our history exam?” I ask as we start to walk towards the school building together.

I turn my head and watch Tiffany’s confused face turn into a look of bewilderment, before slight panic enters her eyes. “History exam?” she asks a little unsure, and I try not to laugh by her expression, and keep my cool. “Yeah, you know it counts for like 40% of our grade, right?” I say and fail to contain my cool expression, a faint, faint smile appearing on my face. Tiffany doesn’t seem to notice or care, her eyes wandering away in deep thought. “Oh my god I didn’t know,” she starts off pretty shocked. “Jess I’m going to fail! I couldn’t study because the words were too complicated…”

Tiffany keeps on ranting to herself as we enter the school, a list going on about her worries and whatnot. Frantically she keeps on doing rapid hand movements, too focused on her rambling to notice all the weird looks she’s getting, but I only smile, trying my best not to laugh at the situation.

I finally give up on my act when we enter the classroom, letting out a faint laugh as we sit down on the seats by the window. Tiffany turns to look at me with widened eyes in confusion as she sits there, before something seems to click inside her head. “You meanie!” she says before hitting my shoulder playfully as I’m still laughing. “You really scared me for a moment there.”

I simply shake my head, my laughter calming down a little and straightening my posture. Calmly I recollect my breath before looking at her with a smile on my face. “Hey, I’m not the one who actually believes that final exams are in the middle of the school year,” I retort after calming down. Tiffany looks at me with a small glare, but laughs in the end, her eyes nearly disappearing. We must’ve gotten some weird looks but I didn’t really care, laughing faintly along until the teacher entered the room and started the lesson. Though we kept quiet most of the time we still end up laughing faintly when the teacher wasn’t paying attention.

The classes fly by until we’re done for the day, nothing much really happening that Friday as we exit our last class together. “My parents are going away this weekend, so I’m sleeping over at your place,” Tiffany says calmly as we walk down the hall towards my locker, holding some of my books in her hands which I insisted I could carry myself, but after all Tiffany is as stubborn as ever.

I look at her for a while, wondering if she even knew what asking was, but then I remember that it’s Tiffany we’re talking about; she doesn’t take no for an answer. “There’s no point in refusing, right?” I ask rhetorically, and Tiffany simply smiles as we reach my locker. “Nope, it’s either that or sleeping at my aunt’s house and that is not happening. So you better have room for another person.”

I simply chuckle as I open my locker to place my books inside, but then something falls down on the floor. I look down at the small paper piece on the floor, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as I pick it up and look at it for a while. Tiffany stays silent, probably looking as confused as me. Carefully I unfold the paper and straighten out the creases and silently read for myself.

“Time doesn’t stop for anyone,”

I stay silent as I try to figure out just who could’ve sent me this. The handwriting isn’t familiar to me at all as I read it again and again, my head having thousands of thoughts and being empty at the same time. Tiffany suddenly breaks my train of thought, speaking in a slightly teasing tone. “What does it say? You got a secret admirer?” she asks and I look at her, who chuckles a little. I give her the longest look, wondering why she would even think something like that.

“Hey, I’m not mad if you do,” she starts with a smile before stepping closer and giving me a big hug, wobbling around as she does so. “You’ll always be mine Jess,” Tiffany states with a small laugh and I find myself smiling along before timidly returning the hug. I’ve never liked being close to people, but for some reason I like Tiffany’s warmth, it just feels safe for some reason.

“Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don’t think so,” I say when she finally lets me go, and hand her the note. Tiffany takes the note and starts to read it herself, probably stumbling a little through the Korean words but seems to understand nevertheless. I look at her for a while until she returns my gaze and looks at me just as confused as I was. “That’s weird,” she simply says before giving me the note. “You don’t have any idea of who it is?”

I shake my head, honestly not having a clue. Normally people ignored me and I really doubt that they care or did I think they would leave messages like that to me. I look at the note again before simply putting it back in my locker, along with the previous one that’s still lying there. I close the locker shut and try to distract myself with something else, not really wanting to discuss what that note meant.

“It’s not like I don’t want to hang out with you, or want you to sleep over,” I say as we walk towards the entrance together, the school hallway filled with students. “But why at my place? Can’t I just go over to your place?” I ask as I look at Tiffany.

“Well I’ve never visited you before,” she states with a small smile. “Besides I don’t have an extra mattress, and my bed isn’t really that comfortable for two to sleep in.”

Slowly I nod, point taken before I study her up and down, not finding an extra bag or anything. “But where are your things?” I ask, and Tiffany simply sighs before replying. “Oh my bag is back at home, I need to do something first so I’ll come over to you after that. It shouldn’t take long.”

We walk towards the bus stop and I wonder what she’s going to do, until I notice something popping out of the sleeves and see something on her wrist. A white paper bracelet with a lot of writing, and it doesn’t take long before I understand where she’s going.

Then the real situation hits me as I simply gaze at it, not letting out a single sound as the writing “Seoul Hospital, patient #0108” along with multiple other things I don’t really concentrate on. It’s weird to believe that Tiffany’s standing there now, but might not do so in a matter of time. “It’s just a checkup,” Tiffany says softly but I still hear it as I finally snap out of my daze. I look at her face, a strained smile on her face. “It’s nothing to worry about,” she adds reassuringly, although still a bit nervous in a way, and I understand because this cannot be easy for her… I can’t even imagine how this feels for her.

Simply I nod in reply, not having the opportunity to say anything as the bus arrives and students start to board. Tiffany gives me another smile that doesn’t really reach her eyes, before giving me a small hug for the second time of the day, and walks away. I wave after her as she sits by the window and the bus departures. There’s almost no one here now, most of them heading over with that bus and I let my thoughts wander again towards that note.

“Time doesn’t stop for anyone.”