There are faint voices around me, surrounding my ears, yet I don’t hear a word of what they’re saying. My vision is still covered in black as the voices continue on talking, and it takes me a while before I manage to come back out of my dreamless sleep and carefully get back to my senses little by little, yet I don’t open my eyes.

“You’re lucky this time that you were just too exhausted, but what you’re doing is too dangerous for your health,” I hear a male voice say, seriousness in his voice as he speaks. “You know that the more you act like this, the sooner it will spread. Why won’t you take the treatment?” the person continues, and then I hear a slight sigh above me, before a faint, hoarse yet so familiar voice speaks from above me. “Doctor… there is no cure for me, is there?” Tiffany asks, seemingly pretty tired and I try not to move, the words lingering in my head on constant reply.

I hear the doctor sigh, before I hear some light movement. It stays like that, all of us in silence before he suddenly speaks. “Not as of now, since you’ve stopped responding to your last treatment,” the doctor tells after a while. Another round of silence is between them before Tiffany suddenly starts speaking again. “Then, how will lying in a hospital bed help me?” Tiffany asks again, and I feel her hand limply moving before she continues. “If what you’re saying is true, then I’d rather live a short life than extend it throughout artificialness… it’s only right, especially if I might not survive either way.”

The words successfully shut the doctor up, and instantly send a pang throughout my chest as I lay there in silence, not knowing how to react. Tiffany’s words are true; they’re basically her reality summed up in words but even then… I just don’t want to hear it. The fact that she’s going through something like this, and even then she stands up for herself to make the best of it.

“Well, if you continue then you’ll…” the doctor starts, but gets interrupted by Tiffany. “Siwon, I don’t want to know,” she says, dropping her tone to show how serious she really is. I try not to make a reaction to that, not wanting to ruin whatever discussion they’re having. The doctor, who I assume is named Siwon doesn’t say anything more, before I hear footsteps and a click from the door, indicating that he has left. Tiffany seems to know people here on a first name basis already, and that makes me wonder… how long has she been here?

I keep my eyes closed for a minute or so before fluttering them open, immediately looking over to Tiffany who seems to be wide awake. A smile stretches on my face, the relief washing over me that she’s at least alive. Tiffany looks at me for a while before smiling herself, and I fake a small yawn to pretend as if I have just woken up.

“Are you alright?” I ask softly, looking at her before taking her hand. I straight up my posture, albeit my neck hurts a little by the position I laid in earlier. Tiffany simply nods, before parting her lips to say something through chapped up, dry lips.  “But what about you, Jess? Are you okay?” she asks and for some odd reason I find myself slightly chuckling, shaking my head by her unnecessary worrying before looking back at her. “You shouldn’t really worry about me,” I say after a while. “But if you need to know, it’s a bit up and down, if I may say so myself.”

Tiffany nods by that, not asking any further. Probably because she knows and she doesn’t need to ask; after all it’s not an easy situation we’re dealing with. I look down at her pale hand in mine, her thin wrists and I sigh by seeing her in this state, just hoping she would get better.

But hope is also another word for wishful thinking, and there is nothing that can be guaranteed anymore. Not ever actually, and it scares me a little because now that we’re here, it all just seems so real, too real. 

And time goes on and never stops, just like that note I got says and I find myself sighing. It’s weird to believe that one day I won’t be holding her hand at all, the thought clouding my mind as I sit there. Time doesn’t stop for anyone, and you should make the best out of what you got… I let the words sink in, before I suddenly feel myself talking.

“Yes.”

Tiffany looks at me a little confused, probably not wondering what I’m agreeing to until I turn to look up at her. It seems like she’s about to ask, until I beat her to it. “Yes, I’ll spend Christmas with you and your family, if the offer is still up,” I say it with a small smile, hoping that at least she’d be around for Christmas and the New Year. It’s not even because I feel like I need to, but I honestly want to, because it’s Tiffany and that’s all that really matters, even if things may end badly if they suspect anything. I decided to, pardon my French, just it all and let go. What is the worst thing that can happen anyway?

Tiffany lets out a smile by that, albeit not as brightly as usual, but as much as she can before slowly nodding. I smile back before looking back to our hands, the thoughts swimming around my head. Nothing’s forever, time doesn’t stop for anyone. What a cruel reality.

The day passes by and Tiffany is surprisingly discharged in the late afternoon, finally being able to go home. After constant reminders, protest, check-ups and “I’m fine let me go” she actually, well managed to go.

Tiffany smiles a little as her parents are waiting outside to pick her up, and her parents mirror the action, although I can see something hiding underneath their facades… Worry.

“Jessica, do you need a ride home?” Mrs. Hwang asks me, and I snap out of my thoughts before slightly shaking my head. “No thanks ma’am, I don’t live too far away,” I say with a soft voice. Tiffany looks at me, nudging me to probably look back at her. “I forgot my things at your place, so I’ll have to pick them up anyway.”

I suddenly remember that Tiffany left her bag in my apartment, and then I find myself agreeing before we sit down in the car and I tell them where I live. It only takes about ten minutes, really, but when we finally pull up I thank them for the lift before carefully getting out, Tiffany following. I frown as I look at her. “I can just go up and get the bag for you,” I tell her, but Tiffany simply shakes her head before walking towards the door. I chuckle by that, but follow her and we walk up towards my apartment again.

The bag is located next to the couch, and I pick it up before slinging it over my shoulders and going back to the door. Tiffany looks at me confused when I don’t give her the bag and simply walk pass her. “I’ll carry it, okay?” I say with a faint smile, and Tiffany does so too before following me.

When we reach the staircase however, she weakly grabs my wrist and I turn around to be greeted by a pair of dry yet warm lips on mine. I smile a little by the kiss, responding softly to it until I move away, and Tiffany lets out a small pout. “What was that for?” I ask, genuinely curious as I turn my body to face Tiffany, who’s standing a staircase above me. Tiffany simply shrugs. “I just want to,” she simply replies with a smile, and I find myself shaking my head, but give her another kiss despite.

“You’re parents are waiting,” I say with another faint smile before taking her hand and guiding her downstairs. I walk a little slower, partly because Tiffany can’t really walk so fast and also because I really want to hold her hand a little longer. I let go of it just before we reach the main doors, so her parents don’t see.  It feels a little bad hiding like this, but after all none of us want to risk it. I don’t know about Tiffany’s parents that much, but it seems like they either won’t react nicely, or Tiffany might be unsure of their reaction in general. So we’ll play it safe for now.

“So are you coming to school tomorrow?” I ask a little hopefully, but knowing well that it might not happen, seeing her still pretty sick appearance. Tiffany simply shrugs before replying. “Most likely… I’ll try at least,” she says with a faint smile before taking her bag as I hand it to her. Then we simply stand there for a few seconds, before I break the silence.

“See you tomorrow Tiff,” I say with a faint smile, hoping that no matter what I’ll be able to see her in some sort of way. Tiffany smiles by that before replying with a “See you tomorrow.”

Then she turns around and walks a little faster towards the car where her parents are waiting, and I smile a little as I wave them goodbye, before turning around and head inside. My eyes cast downwards as I walk up the stairs, looking down at the pink leather bracelet on my wrist, smiling by the message.

“These are the days of our freedom.”