That night I had an odd dream, somewhere in a place I didn’t really know where I was walking alone. The space of the abandoned house was enormous, the white brick walls only adding to the large room. The floor was cold on my bare feet; I remembered that at least, and I was wearing some sort of white, loose dress, walking absentmindedly throughout the house with no real intention.

When I turned to touch something, anything, the spot my fingers met would melt into a black type of liquid, and it would run down the walls until it met the wooden floors and expanded throughout the whole area. I was shocked when I saw it, but I didn’t stop, instead I just kept on having my fingers at the same spot, watching the black substance trail down.

A small puddle of black met my feet as it would only continue to flow into random spaces, trying to cover the whole floor and swallow it whole. With a swift movement I took my hand away, but the black liquid didn’t stop at all, instead it only seemed to be increasing, increasing into the point where it reached my ankles.

In a state of confusion and panic, I turned to find a door, a type of exit anywhere. I ran, and ran, and ran, but my legs couldn’t keep up as the black started to weigh me down, until I could barely move my feet anymore. My steps slowed down as I now walked inside the seemingly endless room, filled with windows but with no way to escape. Filled with light but still dominated by darkness; I didn’t understand.

When the blackness started to reach my waist I knew I was done for it, my steps growing even slower as I felt my feet lose contact with the hard floor, and instead found myself floating in the middle of nowhere, as if the floor just disappeared.

I felt like I was going to drown.

My legs started to kick, attempting to push my body upwards so I wouldn’t drown into nothing, so I wouldn’t disappear. I tried as hard as I could, the blackness now almost covering most parts of my upper body and the windows, taking the bright sunlight with it. With both hands up I tried to push myself out of it, but it was too late and I knew that there really was nowhere out, but I didn’t want to accept this fate. I tried to keep myself above the darkness, but I felt myself losing the fight little by little, until I could feel something cold running down my neck.

The last thing I remember seeing was a bright light, with an outline of a figure standing there, smiling at me with a wave. The person was so close, yet so far, as I tried to reach out to get help, but it was to no avail. I never got to see who it was until the darkness swallowed me whole, and I woke up in my own bed in a cold sweat, not really understanding what happened.

The dream is still in my head as I walk to school, looking at the snow falling down on my way. By now a layer of white, cold flakes has taken over the once gray concrete and green grass and were still coming down from the sky, like never ending rain. Probably it landed upon my head as well, creating a quite lovely shade of white on my hair.

Wow, I should’ve actually brought that hat with me.

I walked there alone in silence, wondering who that person was at the other side, wondering why the stranger seemed so familiar in that dream. What did it mean anyway? Why would I dream about something so bizarre? I ponder about this for a while, trying to find an answer.

The snow makes crunching like sounds under my boots, and bitter wind passes me by. I nuzzle my face into my thick scarf before continuing, already seeing the school gates by now. My steps are slow, because honestly it’s over half an hour until class starts, so there isn’t really a need for me to hurry up. Well, except for trying to avoid the freezing weather.

A while passes until I finally walk inside to feel the warmth of the school building; glad I finally escaped the cold winds outside. Without bothering to look around me, I head towards my first class, social studies, with a sigh. When I finally sit down by a vacant spot, I look around to see that there’s pretty much no one here, except for two boys in the back and three girls by the window.

I look at the empty seat beside me, wondering if Tiffany actually would be okay and make it today. We haven’t really talked since yesterday, as I figured she needed rest anyway, but it still took a lot of my willpower not to contact her. I managed by drowning myself in school work that wasn’t due until weeks in advance, but at least it kept me busy. I thought that it would pay off if Tiffany would come to school, but she hasn’t really said if she’s coming or not, and she’s not here.

I try not to think too much about it anymore as my eyes go over to my schoolbag. After rummaging through the many books and papers, I realize that I forgot to get my social studies book from the locker. With yet another sigh I get up before heading outside the door and down the hallway.

There aren’t as many people around as it was a couple of minutes ago, probably heading to class by now. With the almost vacant hallway in my favor, I start to faintly sing a song to myself as I walk, the words running around my head with each step. “Come with me, Airplane, Love,”  I found myself singing while I open up the locker to gather the necessary books, only to notice something small lying on the surface. It takes me a while before I dare take the paper note in my hand, wondering what it could be this time.

With a deep breath, I’m about to open it, but my mind is still stuck in whether it’s worth it or not. What could it really be this time anyway? Honestly, I’m beginning to wonder who this person is, to an extent that makes me care too much. I shrug it off before finally unfolding it.

“We should live while we’re still alive.”

**

The classes pass by in a blur after that, but there is still no Tiffany. She hadn’t made it to any classes nor did I hear from her during recess. I wanted to shrug it off at first as a simple “she’s probably tired” thing, but I still felt that it was a little weird.

And on top of that the note I got earlier didn’t ease my mind one bit, not at all actually; where did it come from? Who is it from? I couldn’t recognize the handwriting no matter how hard I tried. It was written out a little odd, but still very neat and well thought of, in a way. It wasn’t Tiffany, I know that because her handwriting is way different, plus she seemed as clueless as I did when I showed her.

On my way out of the school campus I keep on thinking about the note, wondering maybe a little too much about it on my way. I had even gotten so lost that when I was going to cross the street, I nearly got ran over by a car, something that both terrified me and startled me.  My heart kept on beating fast as I now nearly ran towards the other side, holding tightly onto my bag as a grip of reality. Nothing happened, the car stopped, but I couldn’t help but feel that it was a little too close, too possible.

I took a deep breath before clearing my mind, deciding to screw it because there are two things I need to know; who is sending me these notes? And most importantly how is Tiffany? I stand there and ponder about it for a minute, before deciding and turning the other way, towards the bus stop. Maybe I couldn’t get down to whoever the person was, sending me those notes, but I could at least see if Tiffany was alright.

And maybe, just maybe I really wanted to see her as well, but that’s another story.

Luckily the bus arrives only a few seconds later of waiting, but the trip feels agonizingly slow for some reason. When the bus would pull over to let passengers off or let them in, it felt like they were taking their time pretty well, even if it really didn’t appear to seem very different than usually.

But when the bus finally arrives at my destination, I feel the somewhat heavy feeling in my legs as I try to get up. When I finally do, I slowly walk out of the bus and towards the apartment complex, feeling my heart beat just a little bit faster, but I don’t know why.

Taking yet another deep breath, I clear my mind before walking with determined steps towards the main door. Quickly scanning all the multiple names, I stop until I see a black on white familiar name on it. I push the Hwang button, hearing a small beep, followed by another until a sudden voice spoke.

“Hello?”

Tiffany sounded tired through the speakers, probably just woken up and I suddenly feel bad for coming. What if she really needs to rest? Maybe I should have called? Cursing inwardly I’m about to turn and leave, until Tiffany suddenly speaks again.

“Jess, if that’s you then don’t bother leaving; you’re already here anyway,” she says with a hint of humor in her voice. A good sign I assume as I stand there for a while, hesitatingly moving closer to the speaker. “Did I wake you?” I ask timidly, the cold air running through my face. I bury my hands inside of my pocket to get some warmth, already disliking the cold. “I’m sorry if I did,” I add, genuinely apologizing, but Tiffany doesn’t really seem to mind though.

“It doesn’t matter, I was about to get out of bed anyway… Wow, is it four o’clock already?” I hear her ask herself, letting out a faint yet cheerful giggle. I stand there wondering how she can act like this, so happy, even if she probably doesn’t feel so inside. “I thought I was the sleepyhead here,” I mumble sarcastically, but it’s still audible for Tiffany’s ears as she lets out a small sound of denial. “Are you saying that I sleep too much?” she asks back, and I try to bite a smile as I stand there in the cold.

“Maybe, maybe not; after all you’d probably be sleeping while I try to figure out an answer,” I retort back and a small disbelieved gasp echoes through the speakers, but it’s all for fun as Tiffany suddenly laughs again. “Can I come in?” I ask after a while, the cold passing through my coat and working its way on my arms. A small shiver runs down my spine as I stand there, trying to preserve some form for heat in my body. Tiffany lets out a small tsk like sound.

“What’s the secret password?” she asks teasingly. I roll my eyes but I smile anyway. “I don’t know… Pink?” I say, and even if I can’t see her I still figure out she’s pouting from the other side. I’m correct when I hear her speak now, causing me to chuckle.

“You’re no fun; you could’ve at least pretended you didn’t know!” she says, but I know she’s not serious and I start laughing again, because it’s honestly kind of fun to like this. “But why isn’t it me though?” I ask with a hint of humor in my voice, and Tiffany seems to ponder about it for a while until…

“Nah, I only have passwords that involve things I like,” she says after a while, and for some reason I feel myself deflate inside. I don’t really know why, I just thought Tiffany well… I actually know she likes be, but what did that mean? I part my lips to say something, but she cuts me off before I can though. “But I like you way more than that, obviously, so that’s why you can’t be my password,” she says with a sly voice, and for some reason I feel my cheeks heat up a little albeit the cold air. Trying to bite my growing smile I look down, trying to think of something else after that cheesy yet I-think-I’m-smiling-so-much-I’m going-crazy comment.

“But Tiff, seriously, can you let me in? It’s freezing out here,” I say after a while of bearing the cold, even if it’s only gone about two minutes. A buzz finally emits from the door and I open it up effortlessly, before walking towards the staircase and up to the 9^th floor, really dreading the thought as I walk. Gosh, they should fix that elevator soon.

When I’ve just gotten to the end of the stairs however, I hear small, but fast footsteps thump through the hallway until a familiar figure wearing pink pajama pants and a white t-shirt enters my vision, and suddenly I’m engulfed in a rather bone crushing hug.

“Jessie!” Tiffany says cutely enough while still hugging me, and with a chuckle I wrap my arms around her as well. Her hair is a little messy, and she smells a little like sleep, but I don’t mind. Instead I just hug her back, nuzzling my face in the space between her shoulder and neck. Tiffany is surprisingly warm, actually, but maybe it’s just because of the cold outside, or maybe it’s just her…

“You’re cold,” she says before leaning back to look at me. “Is it really that cold outside?” she asks again, and I nod slightly. “We’re almost in the end of November, what do you expect?” I say before letting her go, smiling softly as I try to tame her pretty messy hair. “You couldn’t wait, could you?” I ask with a small, probably barely visible smirk on my face, and Tiffany simply looks away, but I do see hints of her red cheeks. Revenge is sweet.

“Whatever,” she says before turning around and walking towards the open door to her apartment. I chuckle a little by her antics, but I follow her nevertheless until we’re inside and I take of my coat and shoes. I don’t say anything as I watch Tiffany wrap a blanket around her body and head outside to their balcony. It’s the type of balcony where there are windows surrounding the said area, where you can open them or close them. It’s not as warm as being inside, but it’s not as cold as being outside either. I follow Tiffany towards the little sofa in the middle, filled with many pillows around it.

“You still cold?” she asks as I sit down next to her, and feeling the slight chill in the air I nod as a reply. “It’s alright though, I can just…” I start but Tiffany slowly interrupts me by stretching her arm out, basically telling me to come closer. I smile a little by that, scooting over until she wraps an arm around me, covering both of us in the blanket.

The warmth from the blanket definitely eases my mind and makes me forget about the cold, and it starts disappearing little by little. But even then I’m  still focused more on the comfortable feeling of being close to Tiffany again, slightly leaning on her shoulder as we simply sit there, overlooking the gray sky. “The snow won’t stop falling, you know,” I say out of the blue as more snowflakes than before fall down. Gently I turn over to look up at Tiffany, smiling a little. “Like seriously, I had a layer of white upon my hair this morning; I looked like an old lady,” I say and Tiffany looks back at me with a small laugh. “Seriously Jess? You should’ve taken a picture,” she replies through her laughter, eyes nearly disappearing as she does so. I try not to laugh back myself, but still a small smile finds its way on my lips.

“How was your day?” she asks quietly, absentmindedly playing with the locks of my hair. For some reason the action soothes me a little, causing my eyes to feel slightly heavier than before. “It was alright I suppose,” I say with my gaze now back on the sky, suddenly thinking about that mystery note again. I want to tell Tiffany, but at the same time I don’t know how to bring it up. This is not the first time it had happened exactly, but even then it just feels weird talking about it, even if we haven’t. She’s only seen one of those notes, and that was the one on Friday, but other than that…

“Nothing much happened,” I reply instead, and Tiffany lets out a small hum in reply. “What about yours? Instead of sleeping in, of course,” I say and earn a playful hit on the head. I laugh a little by that, until I lean my head back on her shoulder. It feels softer than I thought it would, but still a little… bony. I try to shake off that thought as we sit there.

“Well, I stayed up watching old movies until I fell asleep I suppose,” Tiffany says while going back to playing with my hair again. “So nothing much happened here either,” she replies then, and a comfortable silence falls upon us. We sit like this for a couple of minutes, overlooking the gray sky as Tiffany softly hums a song with my head on her shoulder and an arm around me. Our feet are resting on the coffee table in front of us, and despite the chilly air it’s still pretty warm. I smile a little as we sit there.

Tiffany calls out my name after a while, and casually I drift my gaze back to said girl, waiting for her to continue. With a smile she suddenly leans down to kiss me, the warmth of her lips meeting mine. Honestly it felt like forever since the last time, even if we actually just met yesterday, but still I couldn’t really get enough of them.

I close my eyes shut to feel the rush inside, the butterflies and my heart beating; it was really too much yet it felt so right, so nice and I liked it. And slowly I responded back, after trying to think clearly again of course, smiling into the kiss. Tiffany mirrors the action a little, and I try not to smile too much, but being around someone like Tiffany well… it’s not easy.

We give each other small pecks as we sit there comfortably, the snow falling down like miniature white clouds above us and upon the glass windows. There are really no words shared between us, but I don’t really care because they weren’t really needed right now. Words could always wait, and after all, actions do speak the loudest.

That’s how we spent most parts of our afternoon, simply kissing and talking a little here and there. Time goes by, but we don’t mind, enjoying our time together like this, and that’s when I realize that moments like these are probably the ones that really matter. Those small things right now, just being with each other, not really thinking about anything else, and I feel like this is what life really should be.

This is how we are, and I love it… I really do.