Baekhyun sniffed as Mr. Sung sifted through the pink book just given to him.

“Where did you find this again?” He asked Baekhyun, looking up quickly.

“I found it in the Cafeteria.” Baekhyun said while looking down and pretending to let out a sob, “Oh God it’s just SO mean Mr. Sung. When I say mean, I mean like it’s just so mean!” Baekhyun sniffed again while holding a tissue to his nose to dry his fake tears.

“Yes, I can see.” Mr. Sung said while observing Baekhyun’s…delicious thighs. “But these can’t be true.” He said looking confused.

“Oh no, they’re all true.” Baekhyun said weakly.

“But this says Coach JYP made out with underage student Taecyeon…” Mr. Sung said quizzically. “Surely that didn’t happen…?”

“Yes it did. Every Thursday at 5:10 in the Gymnasium under the bleachers.” Baekhyun said with a nod.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Mr. Sung said in disbelief. “This has been going on right under my nose. I’m flabbergasted.”

“Can you not.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Adults should never use that word.”

“My mistake.” Mr. Sung said while continuing to flip through the book pages. “Now wait a minute, what does this part say? It looks rushed.”

“I don’t know.” Baekhyun said lowly.

“Something like Kris is a-”

“Stank .” Baekhyun said quickly finishing Mr. Sung’s sentence. When Mr. Sung looked at him confused by his quick answer Baekhyun went back to sobbing. “But he isn’t even a stank so who on Earth would write something like that about him?”

“Oh you poor thing.” Mr. Sung said while frowning. “I promise we will find out who did this and punish them accordingly. This type of behavior is unacceptable.”

“Well, I took a look and there is only 3 guys who aren’t mentioned.”

“Who?”

“Sehun, Luhan, and Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun said while holding his chest. “And I thought we were friends, but little did I know they wrote this about me in this horrid book. I feel so…hurt.” Baekhyun sobbed. “This is just so mean.”

“It’s OK Baekhyun, I’ll handle this for you.” Mr. Sung said while flashing him a sleazy smile.

--

“Now class,” Coach JYP started in front of his health class, “What have we learned in the last 15 minutes?”

He waited as a few students raised their hands and called on one in the back, “You Taemin. What did we learn?”

“Well, today you taught us that if we stick our in another guy’s we’ll get herpes and die.” Taemin commented. He looked at his desk as if to contemplate if he was correct and looked back up again when he was positive he was right.

“Nice Job Taemin!” JYP said while throwing him a plushy.

Taemin happily caught the plushy before frowning in confusion, “Aren’t plushies supposed to be soft?”

“That my friend, is a plushy.” JYP said with a nod, “It prevents you from ever needing real . When you feel like you want it up the , just stick that in your and there you go and since this is a plushy hybrid it won’t hurt, but it will delicately cater to your entrance and make it feel safe and comfortable.”

“Cool.” Taemin said while looking at it again in a new light.

Attention please, sorry for the interruption, but could you please send Do Kyungsoo to the principal’s office?

“You heard em Kyungsoo. Get off your and go!” JYP motioned towards the door.

Kyungsoo got up and rolled his eyes as people began to whisper about him being in trouble or something since he had to go to the principal. However, Kyungsoo has never gotten into trouble at school to the point where he would have to go to the principal’s office so he knew that wasn’t the case now.

As Kyungsoo approached the principal’s office he jumped a little in surprise when the door swung open to reveal a sad looking Baekhyun followed by an angry looking principal. Kyungsoo wanted to smile thinking Baekhyun got in trouble until Baekhyun walked past him while flashing him a smirk.

. Something’s wrong.

Kyungsoo thought as he entered the office only to see Sehun and Luhan nervously sitting in front of the principal’s large desk.

They both turned to look at him Kyungsoo knew something was awfully wrong if they were here and Baekhyun wasn’t.

“What’s going on?” Kyungsoo asked as he took a seat next to Sehun.

“No questions.” Mr. Sung said as he walked over to his desk. “You sir, have a right to remain silent.”

“You’re a principal, not a cop.” Kyungsoo commented. “What is going on?”

“YOU SIR.” Mr. Sung again with more emphasis this time, “HAVE A RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! GOT IT?”

“Fine.” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes.

“DAMNIT, I SAID BE SILENT!”

“Whatever.” Kyungsoo said while groaning. This guy was such an idiot. How is he the principal of this school?

“How about you three take turns in my ?” Mr. Sung asked while spinning in his chair. “It can be our little secret.”

“Ok.” Luhan said with a shrug.

“NO. LU-HAN!” Sehun said while slapping him on the shoulder. “Learn when to say no.”

“What?” Luhan whined while caressing his shoulder. “What’s so bad about his baby chicken?”

“What?” This time is was Kyungsoo.

“He just asked if we can his chick. I mean, it’s a little weird, but maybe it’s for his emotional wellbeing.” Luhan said genuinely looking like he believed the principle said chick.

Sehun sighed and covered his face with a hand, “That’s not what he said Luhan. He asked to his , like his .”

“HOW DARE YOU!” Luhan said while smacking Sehun square in the face. “I WILL NOT LET YOU DO THAT! LOVE YOURSELF SEHUN! YOU WILL NOT HIS ! HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR BODY!”

“Do you see what I go through?” Sehun turned to Kyungsoo while holding his face and groaning. “Been dealing with this idiot for years now.”

“Ok…” Mr. Sung said slowly, “I take that as no one wants my lil junior?”

“You’re ing sick.” Kyungsoo said while standing, “If this is all you called us in here for then I’m leaving. Go on some ing dating site if you want people doing that to you. None of us are doing you any ual favors.”

“That’s too bad.” Mr. Sung said while leaning back and pulling a pink book from under his desk. “Because I could expel y