.6. Breaking & Broken
Breaking Your Heart
- Eunna's POV -
"Yah, do you listen to me?" Junhyung snaps his fingers in front of my face. "I'm talking to you here, Sun Eunna."
"Eh?" I blink, focusing on his face which is extremely close to me. I pull back slightly as I bite my bottom lip, "I-I'm sorry..."
My mind was wandering to somewhere else. We are discussing about our official debut performance in a week in the meeting room. Our profiles have been published on the website three days ago and we received good responds from public; possibly because of Yoseob, Junhyung, and Joonhee.
Of course I am happy with the fact that I am welcomed. And I am nervous for my debut. But on top of all, I am being unreasonable for everything nowadays.
My eyes meet Yoseob's accidentally. I quickly turn away, avoiding his gaze.
"Eunna ah, what was Yoseob doing just now?" Hyori walked to me with her eyes locked on the closed door. "And why are you blushing?"
My face was burning, thanks to Yoseob. I cupped my cheeks nervously, hoping it would help me from flushing pink.
Aigoo... I almost kissed Yoseob. Or he almost kissed me? It didn't matter, Eunna!
I didn't know why I didn't react when Yoseob was leaning closer to me, as if I was ready to be kissed by him.
Wait a minute, was he even going to kiss me? Was I thinking too much? Maybe there was something on my face. Why did he even want to kiss me?!
But I couldn't stop my heart from beating uncontrollably.
His warm touch on my cheek. His hand held mine. His charming expression.
Aigoo... I couldn't get him out of my mind!
"Sun Eunna," Hyori crossed her arms together, frowning as she examined my expression. "Did something happen between you and Yoseob?"
"N-no!" I denied it quickly. "Nothing happened between us!"
"Denial," Hyori pinched my cheeks playfully. "How long do you think I've known you?"
"But it's true...," I puffed my cheeks, trying to control my heartbeat. "We just talked. Just talking about random things."
"And he made you blush like this?" she sat next to me. "Now that's something. I know you're easily teased but I don't know a simple talk can make you blush."
Hyori knew me too well. Well, I always told her everything. Every little thing including my love life. Of course she noticed that something was indeed unusual between me and Yoseob now.
I never invited a man to come over into my apartment. Not even my father. Yoseob was the first.
"Eunna," Hyori changed her expression into a serious one. "Do you like Yoseob?"
I clenched my fists. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath before looking at her directly, "I can't love him. You know it, Hyori."
Hyori sighed heavily. She patted my head gently and smiled to me, "I know, Eunna, I know."
"What are you thinking, my angel?" suddenly I feel someone wraps his arms around my shoulder. "Are you thinking of me?"
- Yoseob's POV -
Since the night I almost kissed Eunna, we barely talked to each other. She even cancelled our training twice for no reason, telling me that she had something important to do.
When we were training for group training, she always seek Junhyung for advices, not me. And I couldn't say a word because I didn't want Junhyung to get a wrong idea about my relationship and Eunna.
But is there really nothing between us?
I still can't find a reason why I almost kissed her that night. I don't know and I'm afraid to find out about it.
Aish, Yoseob, why are you being such a coward?
Whenever our eyes met, she always looked away, not wanting to look at me. And I felt really uneasy with this situation yet I did nothing about it.
Junhyung has asked me after I returned from her apartment that night but I managed to avoided this topic whenever he brought it up. I kept repeating in my mind that it was an accident; it was...
What was it?
"What are you thinking, my angel?" I take a glance at Joonhee. He is wrapping his arms around Eunna's shoulder, ignoring the fact that the rest of us are looking at us while our manager is meeting the President. "Are you thinking of me?"
"Y-yah, Joonhee!" Eunna is stammering. As usual. But I must admit that her expression is really cute. I bet Joonhee is happy to see her reaction.
Before I could stand up to pull Joonhee away, Junhyung has stood up from his seat. He circles his left arm around Joonhee's neck and pulls him away from Eunna.
"Hands off, young man," Junhyung forces Joonhee to return to his seat. "We're talking about our debut here."
Suddenly I feel rage is hitting my heart.
What? Am I jealous of Junhyung?
No, Yoseob, no way.
We continue our discussion again, acting as if nothing happened. After our manager returned and told us about our preparation for the official debut performance, we are dismissed for our next schedule.
"Eunna," Junhyung approaches her after Joonhee bid her goodbye, heading for his own training schedule. "Can we talk?"
My heart skips a beat. What does Junhyung want from her?
"Sure," Eunna replies with a warm smile; the smile that she hasn't given to me since that night. "What is it?"
"It's about my promise yesterday," Junhyung explains calmly. "What do you think about tomorrow night? I'm free tomorrow."
"Ah, same goes for me!" Eunna clasps her hands together with excitement. "Tomorrow night will do then!"
Are they going for a date?
Without even thinking twice, I walk to them and take Eunna's hand without a warning, making both Eunna and Junhyung to look at me with shock on their faces.
"Eunna has a training with me tomorrow night," I blurt out, holding her hand tighter. "She has cancelled her schedule twice before so she needs to make it up."
"Eh?" Eunna is ready to protest but I cut her words without any hesitation.
"I'm sorry but I need to talk with Eunna for our duet now," I wave at Junhyung and drag Eunna outside from the meeting room. I am thinking of the rooftop to talk with her.
But what will I say to her?
"Where are we going?" Eunna tries to pull her hand away from me but I don't let her go. I embrace her hand tighter as I walk to the elevator, not even bothering to look at her because I can feel that my heart is beating out of control now.
"Rooftop," I murmur, clear enough for her to hear. "We need to talk."
I know I'm afraid of falling in love because my heart has been broken before by a girl. I told Eunna to stay clear about her feeling towards Joonhee so we can prevent him from broken heart.
But I can't be falling for Eunna, can I?
So I need to say something. So she won't think that I'm giving her a false hope.
So none of us will have our hearts broken.
- Eunna's POV -
We arrive at the rooftop of CUBE Entertainment building. Yoseob finally lets go of my hand, turning around to look at my face with his usual charming gaze that makes my heart to beat rapidly again.
"I'm sorry," Yoseob bows ninety degrees to me. "I wasn't supposed to do that to you."
There is only one question crossing my mind right now: why is he apologizing?
Because he almost kissed me? Because he didn't mean to do that? Because he didn't want that to happen?
It's not the first time a man bowed down to apologize for me. But I'm feeling deja vu right now.
"I'm sorry, Eunna," he bowed to me, apologizing because of what he had done. "But I am serious. I like you. I love you. I really do."
He just confessed to me a weeks ago, telling me that he was in love with me. He asked me to be his girlfriend but I didn't give him an answer straight away because I was not sure about what I was feeling for him.
He wasn't the first one who confessed to me and asked me to be their girlfriends, but he was the first that made me became dilemma.
He was a really good friend. He always listened to me, telling me amusing stories, and cheered me up through my bad times. He made me felt that I was the most precious one in the world when I was with him.
He was special for me. And finally I made a decision that I would accept his feeling.
That's when finally the news of him and one of the most popular girls in our school was spreading around. She was the only daughter from one of the biggest companies in Seoul, making her extremely rich and powerful.
"Why are you apologizing?" I said without changing my monotone. "Because you like me? Or because you chose her?"
He straightened his body, giving me a sad look. He shook his head slowly, "Why is everything I do always wrong in your eyes, Eunna ah?"
My heart sank immediately.
"Eunna ah, I mean it. I love you. But I guess from your reaction, we're not meant to be," he sighed with disappointment while I was freezing on my stand. "You know, Eunna, it will be really great if you stop acting cold towards men. You need to open up your heart a little. It's difficult, even for me, to stand against your introvert personality."
Yes, I was indeed an introvert. I didn't have boys as my best friends. I was too shy to interact with boys and that was the main reason why I never been in a relationship before.
He was the first one to be the closest guy ever with me.
And here he was. Breaking my heart into pieces.
I tried my best to love someone. But looked what I deserved.
Since that day, I decide to stop thinking about love. Not that I don't believe in love, but I think it's not my priority for now. After that, I did fall for another person twice but it ended up... bad.
The one I fell for was a player; he made his way to get close to me, telling me that he was single but in fact he had two girlfriends in the same time.
The other one was the my crush two years ago and he was having a problem with his anger management. Looks like I kept falling for wrong persons, didn't I?
That's why I can't fall in love. Not when in the end my heart is going to be broken once again. It's not that I can't bear the broken hearted moment; I just don't want to fall too deep for someone that won't love me back.
Is it wrong?
The one I fell for was a player; he made his way to get close to me, telling me that he was single but in fact he had two girlfriends in the same time.
The other one was the my crush two years ago and he was having a problem with his anger management. Looks like I kept falling for wrong persons, didn't I?
That's why I can't fall in love. Not when in the end my heart is going to be broken once again. It's not that I can't bear the broken hearted moment; I just don't want to fall too deep for someone that won't love me back.
Is it wrong?
"Eunna ah," Yoseob looks at me with worried expression. "Are you mad at me?"
My heart is clenching.
"Should I?" I reply him coldly. I know I shouldn't act like this but my tears are threatening to fall.
Yoseob looks really surprised to hear my reaction. He is taken aback by my words as he stares the floor, waiting for me to say something.
But I don't.
"I'm going," I turn around and head to the door, leaving him alone on the rooftop. I rush to the elevator and stop at random floor to hide myself in the restroom.
Thankfully, he doesn't chase after me.
I lean to the wall, closing my eyes.
Instead of me breaking someone's heart, looks like I just got my heart broken.
Instead of me breaking someone's heart, looks like I just got my heart broken.
I've fallen for Yoseob, haven't I?
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