Review

Title: [3/5]

It felt a little too common for me. It was okay. Nothing stood out but the title did make me wondered about which bastard broke whose heart. :)
Though, it did match the story’s content.

Description/Foreword: [9/10]

Wow. I actually enjoyed reading what you had to offer and I’m impressed. You definitely nailed it for this section. I simply adored your description. I loved how you had those short lines, especially for Yoseob. I simply love it when writers try to lure their readers in with such a style of writing. Plus, your Foreword was ample enough. You didn’t give away too much information. However, I had to admit that it was a little dry and boring. Just a little but was sufficient enough to actually get your readers curious and in this case, you got me hooked and I actually couldn’t wait to read the next chapter! Hehe! So good job!

Plot: [10/10]

I’m speechless. Wow. Your plots were really addictive. I won’t say that they totally original but you definitely had plots that got me hooked. The ideas that you had come up with in your story was simply breath-taking. From the idea of having a mentor to the idea of Star Date, it was really good. You actually tied each and every plot down very nicely. There wasn’t anything that was strange or just simply weird. Everything made sense and I really enjoyed each and every heart-dropping suspense that you had; especially regarding Yoseob and Eunna’s feelings towards each other and how Yoseob was actually going to confess to her but got interrupted almost every time.

I was trying so hard not to squeal in class when I was reading each chapter impatiently. Haha! I was really angry when Yoseob screwed up a few times and when Joonhee just couldn’t keep his hands off Eunna. He was irritating, in my POV, but I didn’t expect him to be a really nice guy towards the end.
I simply loved the relationship that you had developed between Eunna and Yoseob. It was really beautiful. Almost like a fairytale in my point of view.

Sighs. If only something like that happened to me… Haha!

My favorite part had to be when Yoseob kissed her! OH MAAA GAAAAWWWWD!!!!! Plus, I also adored the part where he told Eunna that she was breaking one of her rules as she was breaking Yoseob’s heart when she kissied Doojoon! OHH MAAAA GAWWWWDDDD!!!! *squeals*

However, what really made me love this story was the fact that you made the word ‘love’ and the definition of it so sacred. I like that about you. I was getting sick of stories misusing it. Maybe it’s just me but I’m the kind that believes that saying ‘I love you’ someone is as sacred as you giving your ity to the person whom you trust and love. Get my drift? I really loved that and I simply adored how you made everything! Good job!

Flow: [5/5]

Nothing was rushed. Everything was laid out perfectly. You didn’t rush Eunna’s feelings towards Yoseob and vice versa. You took your time to actually make the readers go crazy without making everything too draggy. I loved the fact that you saved the to the last part. It was magical. LOL! I sound like a lovesick girl who just watched Disney’s Cinderella. Haha!
It was awesome lah, okay? :)

Writing style: [5/5]

There was decent paragraphing and dialogue that could be seen. It was really neat and I’m the kind of person who likes to read chapters that are neatly written and presented.
I simply loved how you structured your sentences when it involved Yoseob or Eunna trying to figure out their feelings for one another, especially Yosoeb’s. I felt like I was in his mind with the way that you wrote. It was very nice.

Originality: [5/5]

Hands down, I loved it to the maximum. The plot was ordinary but you made it yours by putting in your own element and your own flair. So far, I’ve yet to come across any fictions that has the same plot as you, let alone a similar one.

Usually, when you have a trainee falling in love with an idol, it’s always the same boring plot which involves them falling in love and due to complications like the idol’s fans, they were forced to break up. However, for yours, it was nothing like that. It wasn’t cliché at all. Everything was mind-blowing. You’re a freaky genius; a genius that I really like and I can’t wait to see what other stories do you have. To be honest, I don’t read any other fictions unless it’s SHINee or a story that I need to review.

So congratulations! You rock!

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary: [23/30]

You had a slight problem with grammar and your sentence structure but they weren’t that bad. I noticed a few grammar mistakes that involved you using past tense in a sentence that was in present. I can’t seem to find it now since it was a few times which I saw it but I’ll try to see if it pops up halfway while I show to you some of your mistakes. :)

(Chapter 2)

"You have all my time for tonight. But Hyunseung will use this room in thirty minutes. We better hurry then."

Never, and I mean never, start a sentence with ‘but’. It’s wrong. You use but to connect a statement and a reason together. You have words like ‘however’ and ‘though’ to replace ‘but’ when you want to start a sentence.
Correct: “You have all my time for tonight but Hyunseung will use this room in thirty minutes. We better hurry then.”

Eunna will be announced as the official artist of CUBE Entertainment within a month. But she is not going to start her debut yet.

Once more, it’s the ‘but’ problem.
Correct: Eunna will be announced as an official artist of CUBE Entertainment within a month. However, she is not going to start her debut yet.

Tonight is not our routine training hours but she asked me to help her with dancing practice and, since I didn't have any schedule for tonight, I agreed to accompany her for training.

It would be better if you were to rephrase the first part. It sounded weird.
Correct: Tonight is not our scheduled practice but she had asked me to help her with dance practice and since I didn’t have any schedule for tonight, I agreed to accompany her for training.

Eunna has been a trainee in CUBE Entertainment for a year now and she is one of the most successful trainees to be debuted just with a year experience training period.

Once more, it would have been better if you were to rephrase the last part. It really sounded very weird.
Correct: Eunna has been a trainee in CUBE Entertainment for a year now and she is one of the most successful trainees to debut with just a year of training experience.

(Chapter 7)

Friends who are supposed to talk about things other than works.

Omit the ‘who’. It’s redundant.
Correct: Friends are supposed to talk about things other than work.

We just changed into our uniform costums since we are done with the first part of the filming where we danced on a rooftop.

‘costums’ was spelt incorrectly. It’s ‘costumes’.
Correct: We just changed into our uniform costumes since we are done with the first part of the filming where we danced on the rooftop.

Both of me and Joonhee will be Junhyung's best friends while Mira will be Eunna's best friend.

Try to use ‘Joonhee and I’ instead of ‘me and Joonhee’. I was taught in English class that you should always put others before you and in this case, you should put Joonhee before I. Haha! It’s weird, I know, but that’s the way it should be. :)
Correct: Both Joonhee and I will be Junhyung’s best friends while Mira will be Eunna’s best friend.

A simple gesture that makes my heart to skip a beat.

The sentence was incomplete.
Correct: It was a simple gesture that makes my heart skip a beat.

(Chapter 14)

I take a bottle of water on the battle and take a sip in silence, drinking the water to get rid of my exhaustment.

‘exhausment’ doesn’t exist in the dictionary. I think you meant to say ‘exhaustion’.
Correct: I take a bottle of water on the battle and take a sip in silence, drinking the water to get rid of my exhaustion.

The door is swinged open and I turn around to look who will use this dance practice room after me; yes, I have been using my time to practice whenever I'm alone.

‘is’ could be omitted. ‘swinged’ shouldn’t be in past tense.
Correct: The door swing open and I turn around to look who will use this dance practice room after me. Yes, I have been using my time to practice whenever I’m alone.

Oh my, he is right in front of me. I've been trying to talk with him almost every day and this is what happen when we finally face each other.

‘happen’ should be ‘happens’.
Correct: Oh my, he is right front of me. I’ve been trying to talk with him almost every day and this is what happens when we finally see each other.

As you could see, it was nothing major. You just need to make sure you structure your sentences properly and one way to do that is to read them out loud. Usually, you would be able to tell if the sentence sounded weird.

Characterization/Details: [25/25]

I actually re-read it to see if there were any flaws that I could actually pin point regarding this chapter. However, I’m happy to announce to you that I just had to give you a full mark for this section.

The description and characterization was simply impeccable. You had actually developed each and every character very nicely. You actually took time to slowly draw each character out and by the end of the whole story, I had a very good judgment of how each character was, even Joonhee, who played a small part in the story.

I loved how you made Yoseob. His character was really heartbreaking but strong at the same time. He was afraid to love, afraid to open his heart up and you had described it very vividly in your chapters. The same with Eunna and the same with Joonhee.

In terms of details, I thought it was awesome. I loved the scene where Junghyung brought Eunna to see the fireworks and I thought that was genius. :D
So congratulations!

Overall enjoyment: [5/5]

I read it in three hours. Is that enough evidence to show you how much I loved it? I wished I had started on this story earlier. I wouldn’t have been so bored if I did. Haha!

Total score: 90/100

General comments: Simply awesome! I think you’re one of the first few writers to get such a high score from me. Though, in my point of view, the score doesn’t mean much to me. It’s the content that matters. Scores smores. Bleh. Haha!
You’re a talented kid, that’s all I have to say. I can’t believe that I ‘m actually running out of things to say even though I’m pretty positive that I have lots to squeal to you about your story. I think my almost fried brain is giving up on me. However, I hope this review will actually show you how much I simply love your story. :D
Thank you for requesting!!


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Thank you so much for the review.

Full credit goes to SyaHee.


Really need to work for my grammar. Seriously. XD